Hourglass

  “Hope.”

  He put the circle back in his pocket and reached out to take my hand. I gave it to him. His was strong, a little rough, and warm. I didn’t feel the electricity I felt when I touched Michael, but something else.

  Comfort.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  I nodded.

  Michael walked into the kitchen alone. I took my hand from Kaleb, but not before Michael saw it. I watched it register.

  He didn’t like it.

  “Did you get your ticket booked?” Kaleb asked with saccharine sweetness, all the cockiness back full force. “Are you traveling first class?”

  I spoke up before he and Kaleb could start fighting again.

  “Speaking of travel, when are we going to travel?” I asked. Meeting Kaleb had only made me more certain I was doing the right thing. There was a face attached to the problem now, making it more real somehow.

  “Soon, I hope,” Michael answered. “We’ll have to fill Cat in, of course, and make sure she’s on board.”

  “What are we waiting for?” I stood up. “Let’s go.”

  “Hold it. Isn’t it a little soon?” Kaleb asked. “You just learned about your ability. Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

  I looked at him. “The sooner we travel, the sooner you can get your dad back.”

  Kaleb stared back at me. I knew he was trying to read me, probably looking for fear.

  He wasn’t going to find any.

  Chapter 34

  I followed Michael and Kaleb in Dru’s car as we drove through the college campus and parked in front of the science department. Thomas had studied the classical architecture of the well-preserved stone and brick buildings when he’d decided which direction to take the downtown area of Ivy Springs. Like downtown, the buildings felt stoic, solid, comfortable. And old.

  Old and I never meshed well.

  A wide staircase led us up to the second floor. The smell of book bindings and chalk permeated the hallways. A deep monotone voice carried from a classroom into the hallway, lecturing about the properties of metals. Papers fluttered as we blew past bulletin boards advertising who knows what. I kept my eyes trained on Kaleb’s broad back.

  Cat’s exclamation of surprise at our appearance broke my concentration. We’d entered some sort of laboratory with tubes and beakers and burners and a whiteboard full of equations. She ushered us in and shut the door.

  “Kaleb, after last night I’m shocked to see you among the living. I was quite sure you’d be under the weather until tomorrow at least.” Her eyes held a mixture of worry and relief behind a pair of rhinestone reading glasses. I wondered if they were hers, or if she borrowed them from a much older professor, one with blue hair and wrinkles to rival a shar-pei.

  “Yeah, sorry about that.” Kaleb rubbed the back of his neck as two bright spots of color appeared on his cheeks. “I’m not sure what happened.”

  She gave him a tight smile that promised more discussion later and turned her attention to Michael and me. “What brings you to the hallowed halls of academia? Did you have some more questions, Emerson?”

  “She didn’t.” Michael stepped in to rescue me. “I have something I need to confess. It couldn’t wait.”

  Cat slid the reading glasses from her nose and leaned back against the lab table. “Confess?”

  My heart sped up in anticipation. So much hinged on Cat’s acceptance of Michael’s plan. He began to explain and I mentally crossed my fingers.

  “A couple of months ago, I received a voice mail from someone I didn’t recognize requesting a meeting at Riverbend Park.” He shot me a sidelong glance. “Just off the main path, in a grove of trees. It was Em. Well, the Em from ten years from now. She told me how and when to contact Thomas to offer my services, as well as what I’d need to know to convince her I was legit. She also told me to research the Novikov Principle.”

  “What?” Cat breathed the word out, lifting her hands to brace herself against the table behind her. I studied Michael’s face, intrigued by his revelation.

  “No travel rules were broken,” he explained hurriedly to Cat, avoiding my eyes. He said the next words deliberately. “She told me the two of us were a pair. She could help me do what no one else could.”

  Cat pushed away from the table, causing it to shake violently. Glass rattled and liquid splashed, hissing as it ran into the flame of the burner. “You want to save Liam.”

  Michael nodded, but didn’t speak. The seconds ticked past, and Cat’s breathing grew more labored.

  “No. You know there’s no possibility. You can’t interfere with time properties that way. They’ll never let …” She stopped, shaking her head before continuing. “Slowing down and speeding up for our purposes causes enough trouble, but going back, resurrecting the dead? No.”

  “You’re not thinking about the possibilities,” Michael persuaded, taking a hesitant step closer to her. “Have you even considered the Novikov Principle?”

  “I won’t consider any principle, Michael. It’s a no.” She slid her body across the edge of the table, taking a quick step back to put the bulk of it between them. “A solid, irreversible no.”

  Kaleb, standing beside me and listening to the conversation, had remained silent up until this point. I felt his words more than I heard them, the sound of his barely contained rage pushing against my eardrums. “Why? Why the hell won’t you help save my dad?”

  I put my hand on his arm, even though it was foolish to think I had any hope of holding him back if he decided to go after Cat. His bicep tensed under my fingers, and I expected him to shake me off. He didn’t.

  Cat looked around the room as if she was seeking the closest exit. “It’s not about saving your father. It’s about the rules, the things we can and can’t do.”

  Kaleb’s long stride devoured the floor space between him and Cat. When he reached her, he pounded his fist against the stainless steel tabletop, emphasizing each of his words. “Screw the rules.”

  “Kaleb, please,” Michael said, his voice strained. Kaleb didn’t move.

  The only sound in the room was the hiss of the Bunsen burners and liquid bubbling in a suspended tube. After what seemed like a lifetime, Cat spoke.

  “Emerson’s never traveled before,” she said, looking from Kaleb to Michael. “Are you telling me that you’re willing to risk her safety, her life, to have her go back and save someone she’s never even met?”

  Michael tried to defend himself. “It’s not danger—”

  “Yes, it is,” Cat cut him off. “Michael, you know how Liam died. The timing of what you’re proposing would have to be precise—down to the millisecond—to have any chance of being successful.”

  “We could do it,” he argued. “It would take some research—”

  “Research? Think about what you’re proposing. One false move, and you and Emerson could both be killed, burned to an unidentifiable pile of bones just like Liam. Is that what you want?”

  Kaleb hissed through his teeth, stepping back to put himself between Cat and me.

  Her words hit me like a physical blow. I wrapped my arms around my waist, my stomach aching with the need to be far away from the building and the conversation. I turned and left without looking back, weaving my way through the banter of chattering students now flooding the hallway. Dodging backpacks and people, I shot out the double doors and down the steps to ground level. Once I reached the sidewalk, I looked over my shoulder to make sure no one had followed me.

  Mistake.

  In front of the building, a group of young men roughhoused, passing an old-fashioned pigskin football back and forth. It wasn’t old-fashioned to them.

  They wore short pants with striped socks and cleats, and I placed their uniforms in the early 1940s. I was already pushing the crazy envelope for the day, and now a whole ghostly football team stood in front of me, lining up to pose for a picture on the wide waterfall of steps leading to the second story.

  In lieu of trying to stic
k my hand into a team of more than a dozen bulky boys, I chose to search for somewhere less populated. To my right, tucked behind the administration building, I found my sanctuary. The Whitewood Memorial Prayer Garden. Two mossy benches flanked an ancient-looking bronze sundial. Flowing willow tree branches created a lush green wall, muffling the sounds of campus life and hiding a small pond. Sinking onto one of the benches, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, grateful for the warmth of the late afternoon sun on my face.

  But as hard as I tried, I couldn’t make Cat’s words go away.

  After I lost my parents, I replayed my version of the shuttle crash in my mind endlessly, imagining what it must have been like to slide down the mountainside into that crystal-clear, freezing-cold lake. I liked to think the end had been peaceful for them.

  I knew the end hadn’t been peaceful for Liam Ballard.

  Heavy footsteps sounded behind me and I turned, expecting to see Michael. I let out a small gasp of surprise when I looked up into Kaleb’s blue eyes.

  “Michael’s chewing Cat a new one for scaring you. I thought you could use these.” He sat down, handing me a bottle of water and placing a wet paper towel on the back of my neck. It was so saturated that rivulets of water ran down the back of my shirt. “Are you okay?”

  “Me? What about you? Are you okay? Cat compared your father to …” I trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence. I took the dripping towel from my neck. Crumpling it into a small ball in my fist, I watched as the water squeezed out through my fingers and ran down the inside of my wrist. The sensation made me shiver.

  Kaleb noticed. Placing his elbows on the back of the bench, he lowered the arm closest to me, resting it lightly on my shoulders. I resisted the urge to relax into the curve of his body.

  The sun, low in the sky, filtered everything around us through a soft yellow lens. The garden looked like it belonged in a storybook, not like the kind of place in which to have a conversation about death. Pain.

  “Kaleb, how could she say something like that in front of you?”

  “She didn’t mean it,” he answered, his expression carefully blank. “Her intention was to make a point, and I’m guessing by your reaction she did.”

  “I reacted because of you. I’m guessing the two of you are close. I caught the look she gave you after she asked you about last night.”

  He turned his head away, his gaze skimming over lily pads and cattails to the far edge of the pond. A fish jumped, and tiny waves did a dance with the shoreline. “My relationship with Cat is unusual. Always has been. She’s my legal guardian.”

  “But you don’t live with her.”

  “I’ll have to, now that my mom’s not at the house anymore. I’m moving some of my stuff in tonight.”

  “Oh.” I inwardly flinched at the pain I saw on his face. “Are you okay with that?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, I love Cat, but she doesn’t know how to deal with me these days. I sure as hell don’t make it easy for her. And when I try to read her—her emotions are all over the place.” His voice sounded vulnerable, completely wrong for someone with an exterior as tough as Kaleb’s. “Fear, guilt, anger, regret. I guess over my dad, or over the fact that she’s not even thirty and now she has a ward who’s almost an adult.”

  “I’m sure she doesn’t think of you as a ward,” I said reassuringly, rolling up the damp paper towel to give my hands something to do. “I think she’s genuinely worried about you. How long have you known her?”

  “It feels like I’ve always known her. She’s always been there. She’s like a sister to me. But she shouldn’t have to act as my guardian. Things shouldn’t have to be this way.”

  “She cares about you. A lot of people do.”

  “What about you, Shorty?” He smiled down at me. “Do you think you could?”

  He wasn’t talking about friendship. The water from the paper towel practically turned into steam that rose from my skin. “Kaleb, I—things are—I mean, this isn’t the right time for—”

  I heard the sound of a throat clearing, and I whipped my head around. Michael stood behind us. I wondered how much he’d heard. I realized how we looked from his viewpoint, Kaleb’s arm around my shoulders, me looking up at him. I stood so quickly I almost fell over my own feet. Shoving the paper towel into my jeans pocket, I faced Michael.

  “Hey!” I said, my voice too loud and too bright for the situation. “What happened with Cat?”

  “She wants to think about it.” He seemed uncomfortable, looking back and forth between Kaleb and me. “We’re all supposed to meet up at the house tomorrow afternoon so she can give us her answer. And so she can apologize.”

  “She agreed she’d said the wrong thing to Emerson?” Kaleb asked. He stood, too, moving to stand behind me. Close behind me.

  “She agreed she said the wrong thing, period,” Michael answered, his voice tight. “To all of us.”

  A cell phone started ringing, and Kaleb jostled to pull his out of his pocket. A picture of a girl with her glossy lips puckered in a seductive kiss popped up on the screen. He held up the phone and gestured awkwardly. “I probably need to take this.”

  He turned his back to us and answered in a low voice, “Hey, baby.”

  I wanted to know more about what Michael and Cat discussed, but suddenly all I could think about was escape.

  “Okay.” I pulled out my keys and began anxiously spinning the ring around my finger. “I’m … uh … going to head out. Michael, I’ll touch base with you later about tomorrow.”

  I gave half a finger wave to Kaleb’s back. Then I turned tail and ran like a coward.

  At least as fast as I could run in my heels.

  Michael called out, “Em, wait up.”

  I kept going, still spinning my keys. I didn’t look at him when he fell into step beside me. Once again, foiled by my short legs. “What?”

  “I wanted to talk to you about—”

  “You don’t need to ask me if I still want to save Liam. I do. Nothing Cat said changed that. And I don’t need you doubting me,” I said, unreasonably irritated with him. We reached the car and I turned around to lean against the driver’s-side door, bracing myself for an argument. “I can make my own decisions, you know.”

  “I’m sure you can.” He tapped his fist on the roof of the SUV. “But that’s not why I followed you. I wanted to ask you … how … um, experienced are you with guys?”

  I froze, my spinning keys slowing to a stop and landing with a smacking thud against my hand. Tilting my head to the side, I stared at him. “What?”

  Looking at the ground, he used his hands to gesture as he fumbled for words. “I … er … don’t mean it that way, not like the physical …”

  There was no way I was about to tell him the closest I’d ever come to a make-out session was my adventure with him against the wrought-iron fence. Nor did I think he’d be interested in my middle-school Spin the Bottle disasters. How was my romantic life any of his business? Realizing I still had my hand up in the air, I lowered it, willing myself not to use my key ring like a set of brass knuckles. “Are we really having this conversation?”

  “All I wanted to say … I know Kaleb can be very … appealing.” Michael said the word like it was a bad taste in his mouth. “Even though we argue, he’s my best friend, but …”

  “But?” I prodded.

  “He’s very … When it comes to girls … he’s made some bad …” He stepped away from me, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Forget it. I don’t have any right to tell you who you should or shouldn’t see. I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not seeing anyone. I don’t know what you thought you saw back there, but it was just a conversation.” I was torn between being pleased he cared and pissed he thought it was any of his business. “Kaleb and I have a lot in common. We were talking. That’s all.”

  “I get that.” His frown lines grew deeper. “But … Kaleb doesn’t always use his brain when it comes to girls.”

  “W
hat teenage guy does?” I’d always been told they used quite a different part of the male anatomy. I wondered how this day had spiraled so completely out of control. From my fight with my brother to meeting a drunken Kaleb to revealing our time travel plans to Cat to … a discussion of my nonexistent sex life?

  Damn, I was tired.

  Michael was staring at me. “All I’m saying is that he can be … indiscriminate when it comes to hooking up. I wouldn’t want you to be hurt.”

  My sudden headache was fierce, threatening to split my skull wide open and spill my brains out onto the pavement. “Well,” I said, “if Kaleb and I hook up, I’ll be sure to remember that.”

  “Oh, no, wait … you took that wrong. Emerson, wait!”

  Without another word I got in the car and slammed the door behind me, clicking the locks and revving the engine. The last thing I saw as I peeled out of the parking lot was the horrified look on his face.

  Chapter 35

  The pain in my head caused my stomach to churn in protest. I wanted my bed. And complete darkness.

  And chocolate.

  I dragged myself up the stairs, opening the door to find my loft empty. Thank heaven. Grabbing a bottle of water, some pain relievers, and a candy bar from Dru’s emergency stash, I noticed it was barely eight o’clock. Not too early for nighty-night.

  If you were seven.

  I didn’t care. I was too busy being grateful I wouldn’t have to add a confrontation with my brother to the list of the day’s defeats. I left Dru’s keys on the counter along with a note that I was exhausted and going straight to bed. Seeking comfort, I took a long shower before pulling on underwear and one of Thomas’s old soft-as-silk undershirts.

  Making sure my windows were locked, I fell into bed. I didn’t want to take the chance that Michael would come back to his loft and try to force a face-to-face conversation. I turned out the light and scooted down so that the covers were over my head, closing my eyes and hoping sleep would come with the sheer force of my will.

  Growling in frustration, I flipped over onto my stomach, burying my face in my pillow. Maybe taking my thoughts apart one by one would be as effective as counting sheep. I could try to make them jump over a fence and out of my mind.