Zane's the Other Side of the Pillow

  “I talk shit because I can back my shit up,” I said, starting to lose my senses as well as I tightened my pussy around his dick and squeezed.

  People always ask what the benefit of dildos is over vibrators. It is not about the fact that vibrators work on batteries and do most of the work. It is about the fact that dildos are more lifelike, and make the people using them learn how to do most of the work. Most chicks never figure that shit out and that’s why they lie there and wait for the men to bang them out instead of truly knowing how to blow some minds.

  I tightened up on Anthony’s dick even more. “Yeah, boy, this is how a pro rides a damn dick. You like that? You feeling me?”

  Anthony couldn’t even speak at that point. I could feel his body convulsing and knew the bastard was about to come too damn fast. I hopped off his dick and sat beside him on the bed. He looked to the side and glared at me, then down at his dick. “What the fuck are you doing?”

  “You’re not pulling that three-minute shit with me. I’m waiting for you to calm down a bit and then I might let you have some more of Abigail’s brown pudding.”

  Anthony sighed and started playing with his dick. “Jemistry, you’re a cold piece of work. How you gonna stop fucking me right before I nut? And it wasn’t no three damn minutes either.”

  It really wasn’t even about Anthony and his sexual skills. For some ridiculous reason, I was sitting there, naked and covered with his sweat, feeling guilty over the fact that Tevin probably was in an operating room at the moment, saving someone’s life, while I was continuing to fuck mine up by screwing a man that I didn’t even want to have a decent conversation with.

  “Jemistry?” Anthony was getting angry. “Jemistry, are you for real?”

  He was right. I was being shiesty, shitty, and straight-up stank.

  I climbed over him, stacked two of his pillows, and laid over them, positioning my ass up in the air. “Come get this.”

  Anthony didn’t hesitate as he grabbed the sides of my hips, maneuvered his dick into me, and went about his business.

  It was crazy. I had it all figured out. I was going to be a stone-faced, heartless, bitter woman for the rest of my life, fuck a couple of men when I felt like it, who could be trusted not to be throwing their dicks all over the city every night, and concentrate on my career. Now Tevin had entered my world and was about to throw a monkey wrench into all of my plans.

  Anthony grabbed my ass cheeks and started slapping the right one. He was saying some dirty shit, but I drowned it all out. All I could see was Tevin’s face, remember his words from the night before and earlier that day, and wonder to myself, Could he be for real?

  Chapter Six

  “A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.”

  —Brendan Francis

  When I arrived at Oceanaire, Tevin was already waiting for me in a booth. My pussy had served as a sleeping pill for Anthony so I left him knocked out on the bed. After I took a shower and redressed, I laid two twenties on his pillow as a joke. It would piss him off when he woke up, but I truly didn’t appreciate how he had come at me, trying to change the rules in the middle of a “situationship” that we had both agreed on. I had been coining my connections with men as “situationships” for quite some time. They definitely would not classify as relationships, in the old-fashioned sense.

  Tevin stood as I approached. He was so fine that I felt weak in the knees. He had on a navy pinstriped suit with a white shirt and red tie. “Hey, Jemistry. Thanks for coming.”

  “Thanks for the invite.” I gave him a soft hug—his cologne aroused me—and then sat down in the booth.

  “I noticed that you are a martini fan, but I thought you might enjoy some wine this evening.” He sat back down and placed his napkin across his lap. “I took the liberty of ordering a bottle of Cakebread.”

  I grinned and put my napkin on my lap. “Not sure what that is but it sounds interesting. Is it wine that tastes like cake?”

  “You’re a funny woman.” He took my hand and my first instinct was to pull it away, but that would have been rude. Holding hands was romantic; I had been avoiding romance like the Bubonic plague. “Cakebread is a Cabernet Sauvignon from the Napa Valley.”

  “That didn’t make it much better. I don’t know what a Cabernet Sauvignon is either.”

  We both laughed.

  “You look beautiful today.”

  Damn, he’s saying too many of the right things!

  “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  He let go of my hand, thank goodness, and then picked up his menu. “While we wait for the wine, do you want to decide on dinner?”

  I picked up my menu as well. It was expensive on my salary, but since it was on him, I planned to try out something good. The waiter brought the wine and Tevin sniffed a small amount that was poured into a glass, swirled it around, and then tasted it. “That’s fine,” he told the waiter who then poured us both glasses.

  The waiter set the remainder of the bottle down. “Would you like to order now, sir?”

  “Give us a few moments. We’re still deciding.”

  He walked off and I asked, “If I’m not being too nosey, how much does Cakebread cost?”

  Tevin shrugged. “About three hundred for the bottle.”

  I almost leapt out of my seat. “Three hundred for something to sip on!”

  He chuckled and pointed at my glass. “Aren’t you even going to taste it?”

  I took a sip of the wine and I had to admit, “It’s amazing!”

  “You’re amazing!” Tevin gazed into my eyes. “I only hope that you one day realize that . . . or realize that again.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “You’re so busy trying to construct walls around something so special that needs to be exposed to the world. There is a vulnerability in you that you refuse to set free. You believe that every man is going to use, hurt, or abuse you in some way. Not all men are alike.”

  “So you keep saying.”

  “I keep saying it because it’s the truth.” He paused and drank some more wine. “Jemistry, why do you think that you’re not worthy of being loved? Truly loved by a man who desires the same thing as you?”

  “My only desire is to live my life, drama- and disease-free. I want to keep working hard, prove myself, and move up to a higher position in the school system. I’ve only been a principal for a few years, but I truly believe that I can become superintendent one day. If not here in DC, then possibly in one of the local suburbs in Maryland or Virginia. Even if I have to relocate across country to realize my dream, I will. That’s another reason why I don’t need to be tied down.”

  “It’s not about someone tying you down. It’s about someone lifting you up even further than you already are.”

  “You do realize we met last night, right?” I asked jokingly.

  “I go after what I want.”

  I blushed. “But you don’t even know me like that. Tevin, you’re a tall, handsome surgeon. I’m quite sure that women fall all over you wherever you go. You have this commanding presence and, even in the brief amount of time since we’ve met, I’ve seen how women stare at you.” I looked around the room. “Even in here.”

  “So, that means that I have to entertain them because they look?”

  “No, but—”

  “Men look at you as well. I looked at you when you were on that stage last night pouring out all your emotions. You want to be loved, Jemistry, and I want to be loved. We both want the same thing, so I say that we mark that as our goal and make a road map to get there.”

  This man has rendered me speechless!

  I cleared my throat, drank some wine, and concentrated on the menu. He was determined to turn this into some kind of fairy tale and I was going to fight it tooth and nail. I realized that nothing was holding me there and I could have gotten up and walked out. But there was no way that I could do something mean like that to a man who had shown me nothing but attention and
kindness thus far.

  It’s only a matter of time before he fucks up and gives me an excuse to stop speaking to him!

  * * *

  Dinner was fantastic! I had the fried red chili calamari as an appetizer and the stuffed shrimp with pasta as my entrée. Tevin had the jumbo lump crab cake for an appetizer and the Greek branzino for his main meal. That wine was all up in my head so I passed on the chocolate chip cheesecake, even though it looked delicious.

  The conversation had remained deep, but interesting. Tevin opened up to me about his past relationships. He had been married before, but everything fell apart when his wife had her third miscarriage. He said the pain had become too much for both of them; she had shut down emotionally and it eventually led to a divorce. When he said that, I was wondering why he would want to become involved with another woman who was already emotionally shut down . . . me.

  They had attempted counseling; he had taken her on a series of Caribbean vacations to try to get the spark back, but nothing had worked. One thing that I could ascertain clearly was that he had loved her with all his heart. That made me jealous and I could not help but wonder if I could ever replace her. Then again, I should not have even been contemplating all of that. I was going to refuse to fall for him.

  “Thanks again for dinner,” I said as Tevin walked me to my SUV. I had lucked out and found a space a couple of blocks away. They offered valet parking, but if I could ever find a space in DC, I grabbed it.

  “You’re very welcome.” He came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. “When can I see you again?”

  I hit the key fob to unlock the doors, then turned to look up at him. “I’m going to be busy for the next couple of days. Can I give you a call?”

  His eyebrows scrunched up. “Are you really going to call me?”

  “Yes, I am.” I had no idea whether I was lying or not. “You’re a great guy so we can hang out again.”

  “I told you before. I’m not trying to hang out with you. I’m trying to fall in love with you.”

  I laughed uncomfortably. “You are something else.”

  “Give me a hug.”

  I embraced him and scared myself because I hugged his waist tighter than I had hugged anyone in years, even the men that I had been fucking. His chest was like an iron vest and I could feel his dick against my midriff. Even soft, I could tell he was packing a big gun.

  He kissed the top of my head. “You smell so good.”

  “So do you,” I replied, telling nothing but the truth.

  Then he went and did it. He gave me a French kiss that I felt from my scalp to the tips of my toes. Kissing was too personal. Sucking dick was an act. Kissing meant a true connection. His thick tongue explored my mouth and I explored back.

  Our kiss lasted a good two minutes and then Tevin sucked on my bottom lip and I felt it in my pussy. A lot of people don’t realize that sucking on a woman’s bottom lip can cause that reaction. It’s something about pressure points and there is some kind of anatomical correlation.

  “I have to go.” I pulled away from him and climbed into the driver’s seat. “I’ll text you to let you know that I got home okay.”

  He placed his hand over his heart, feigning a heart attack. “Did you just say that you’re going to text me?”

  I couldn’t admit that I was too scared to talk to him any more that night. The last thing that I needed was to end up lying in my bed having some kind of whimsical conversation into the morning. It would lead to me fantasizing about him, masturbating thinking about him, and that would be the beginning of the end. That was how it always went in the past. I would get caught up, start believing the hype, fall in love, and then get dogged out by various breeds of men.

  “It will be a quick text saying that I got there.”

  I was about to close my door when he held it open. “One last question.”

  “Sure.”

  “I’ll be honest enough to admit that I was last intimate with a woman a few months ago. It was nothing serious and I couldn’t see it progressing to anything real, so I stopped seeing her.”

  “You don’t have to ex—”

  “No, I want to be honest. I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. I’m a busy man so I’m not out here picking up random women and trying to get them into bed. When I was younger, sure, I thought a lot with my dick, but that’s not where I am now. I don’t want another girlfriend. I can get another girlfriend anyplace. I want something that lasts.”

  “Well, at least you know what you want.”

  “Yeah, there are too many diseases and too much foolishness out there, especially in DC since there is a shortage of available men. I’m not trying to get caught up in that funnel cloud.” He paused and stared at me. “So when was the last time you were intimate with a man?”

  About three hours ago!

  I definitely couldn’t tell him the truth. The man had dropped nearly five hundred dollars on dinner and was telling me how he considered me to be wifey material.

  “It’s been awhile, and I’m definitely not seeing anyone else.”

  “Good. Good. Then that gives me a fair chance to get to know you without competing for your time and attention.”

  He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “I’ll be waiting for your text.”

  He winked as he closed the door. He stood there and waited for me to pull away before he started walking back up the block.

  I drove home in silence. No radio on. I was sure that if Winsome were doing the do, she would either be in her bedroom or someplace else. The next morning, I was going to look online for sofas that I liked and that she could afford. I planned to be chilling out in the living room watching my favorite shows on my DVR within the next few days.

  Chapter Seven

  “Trust is such a huge word. It either makes something or destroys it.”

  —Unknown

  A few weeks passed and I was still torn and confused, and sounding like one of those insecure women with low self-esteem who write in to advice columns to figure out something that is common sense. Tevin still had not given me any reason to distrust him, and believe me, I was searching for one. He seemed like a perfect man and we all know that true perfection does not exist. Everyone has flaws, dammit. Where were his?

  We had been on several dates, and no, he didn’t force me to go. Every time I considered sending his calls to voice mail or blocking him altogether, I couldn’t justify it. Plus, I really did think that he was thebomb.com. What I appreciated about him was that once I had said something about text messaging, he had made it a point to show me attention either in person or via phone. He had never asked me for my email address or asked to connect with me on a social network. In an age when so many people communicate virally, it was a welcomed change.

  I had Facebook and Twitter accounts, but I rarely posted anything at all. I was not about to risk my livelihood over posting some foolishness online. Several teachers and principals had failed to recognize that and were fired. They should have been the main ones avoiding doing it, considering that students were getting suspended or expelled for cyberbullying daily. Added to that tragedy was the fact that many of my seniors over the years had lost full-ride scholarships over trying to pretend to be baby gangsters on their pages. Posting themselves smoking weed, holding guns, or even talking crazy and making idle threats had cost many of them their futures. Some of them came from very good homes and their parents—single or married—had struggled to provide them with a stable environment, had attended every PTA meeting and parent-teacher conference, had made sure they completed their homework and that they were attending school. It was truly sad to have to explain to them that all of it was for nothing. That they would have to send their kids to community college instead of driving them to a major university that had previously offered them close to two hundred grand in scholarship money.

  So no, hell no, I was not about to get caught up like that. Especially since I was so opinionated, like all Virgos. I
could envision how it all would have gone down. I would have run across something that pissed me off in my newsfeed and ended up in a debate. The only reason I had the accounts was to go on and attempt to prevent some of my staff and students from going too far. I would often pull kids into my office and tell them to take things down before they ruined all of their opportunities. I also had my four guidance counselors constantly on the prowl.

  The Internet was a powerful tool for gaining knowledge, following world news, and cutting down on having to fax and send important things via snail mail, but it was also a curse for many who could not control themselves and wanted to capture their fifteen minutes of fame. That was proven by the fact that the African-American site with the most web traffic at the time was WorldStarHipHop where people sent in videos of people acting a fool, and millions of people watched them daily. A lot of them ended up facing charges and jail time behind those videos, especially the parents who taped themselves whipping their children with belts or electrical cords because they had been twerking on Youtube. Instead of punishing them in a responsible way in private, they decided to post a retaliation video of them practically maiming their own offspring to prove a point. Many of them were now proving that point on lockdown while their kids were still twerking and doing them, but with the added malice toward their parents.

  There was always drama at Medgar Evers High School. On this particular day, it came in the form of Uniqua Mays, mother of Brian Mays, a junior who had maintained a good GPA all throughout school and was looking forward to applying to Morehouse College in Atlanta in the fall of his senior year.

  “Ms. Mays, how can I help you today?” I asked as she sat across from me in an outfit that looked like she had just finished working the pole at The Stadium Club off New York Avenue. “Mrs. Parker said you have some concerns about Brian.” I scanned through his school records. “His midterm report card has him making honor roll yet again.”