Stink and the Midnight Zombie Walk

Clack-clack-clack! went the dummy’s mouth. Judy opened one eye.

  “Hun-gry,” Charlie Zombie croaked. “Want burger. Ju-dy bur-ger!”

  “Aagh!” Judy screamed, and she pulled the covers over her head. “AAGH!” she screamed again.

  “Scared you!” yelled Stink. Stink and Webster popped out from their hiding places, laughing their pj pants off.

  “You guys!” said Judy, poking her head out from under the covers. “I almost had a zombie heart attack!”

  “Heart. Yum,” said Charlie.

  Webster cracked up.

  “We got you so good,” said Stink.

  “You’d be scared too if some creep-azoid zombie dummy woke you up in the middle of the night,” said Judy. “Get that thing out of here.” Judy pulled her covers back up.

  Stink and Webster headed back to Stink’s room.

  “Scritch-scratch!” she called after them. “I wouldn’t sleep near the window if I were you.”

  Stink set Charlie Zombie back on his desk chair. He and Webster slid back into their sleeping bags and closed their eyes.

  “Webster? Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Stink asked.

  “He’s staring at us,” said Webster. “With one evil eye.”

  “I know. His other eye won’t stay open. He’s giving me the creeps.”

  “Goose bumps,” said Webster, rubbing his arms.

  “Goose eggs,” said Stink.

  “Zombie zits,” said Webster.

  “We’re going to have zombie nightmares!” said Stink. He got up and switched on his night-light.

  “Put a pillow over him or something,” said Webster.

  “I’ll get him out of here.” Stink took Charlie all the way downstairs, where he stuck him way in the back of the hall closet, behind all the coats.

  At last, Stink and Webster slipped off to sleep. Not a creature was stirring, not even a zombie.

  * * *

  The next morning, Stink woke up. Webster woke up.

  Stink yawned. Webster yawned.

  Stink screamed, “AAAGH!”

  Webster screamed, “Zombie!”

  Charlie the One-Eyed Zombie was leaning up against the pillows on Stink’s bed, staring at them and grinning his evil grin. Stink and Webster huddled together.

  “He’s back!” said Webster. “When did you —?”

  “I didn’t,” said Stink. “Did you?”

  “Not me.”

  “But . . . how did —? I hid him in the way-back of the downstairs closet!”

  “AAGH!” Stink and Webster ran screaming out of the room.

  Stink and Webster ran screaming down the stairs.

  Dad poked his head out of the kitchen. “What’s all the racket?”

  “Nothing,” said Stink. “We just”— he sniffed the air —“smelled pancakes.”

  “Pancakes. Good,” said Webster.

  “Me want,” said Stink. Dad went back to the kitchen.

  “Did you know that zombies have a hyper-good sense of smell?” Stink said to Webster.

  “Then we’d better hurry up, before Charlie Zombie beats us to them.”

  Countdown! One, two, three, four, five more hours until the Midnight Zombie Walk!

  Stink read seventeen minutes of the Z encyclopedia. He read thirteen minutes of zombie books. He read eleven minutes of comic books. Forty-one minutes of reading!

  He played with Astro for twelve minutes. He practiced karate for thirty-three minutes. He bugged Judy for twenty-six minutes while she worked on her Doctor Zombie costume.

  At last it was time!

  Stink put on his zombie ventriloquist costume. He painted his face green. He drew red blood coming out of his mouth and ears with lipstick. He put on his top hat. “C’mon, Charlie. Time to go.”

  When the Moodys got to the Blue Frog Bookstore, zombie princesses and cowboys, pirates and superheroes crowded the sidewalk. Stink saw his teacher, Mrs. D., and tons of kids from Virginia Dare School.

  “Is that the line?” Judy asked. “It goes all the way to Screamin’ Mimis!”

  “Zombies, zombies everywhere!” said Stink. He waved to Mrs. D.

  “It’s great that so many teachers from your school are here,” said Mom.

  A teenager bared his fangs at Stink. “I vant to vite your veins! Mwa-ha-ha-ha.”

  “Vampire-free zone,” said Stink, drawing an invisible circle around himself. “Zombies only.”

  Stink found Sophie and Webster. “Zow-ee!” he said, pointing to the soccer shoe sticking out of Webster’s head. “Insane in the membrane!”

  “Undead in the head!” said Webster. They cracked up.

  Sophie of the Elves was now Zophia of the Girl Scouts. Even Zombalina was dressed in a mini green uniform. “Check out my badges,” Sophie said, pointing to her sash. “Zombie First Aid. Zombie Cookie Sales. And Zombie Friendship. You know, because zombies always stick together and travel in packs.”

  “Why did you put tape over the campfire badge?” asked Webster.

  “Duh! Because zombies hate fire!”

  “Zool,” said Stink. “What time do they zopen the doors?”

  “Nine o’clock zharp,” said Dad, checking his watch.

  “What time is it now?”

  “Eight fifty,” said Dad. “Ten more minutes.”

  “Zen more minutes,” said Stink. “That’s like an hour in kid years.” He pressed his nose to the window of the bookstore. “Just think, in ten minutes, I’ll be holding Nightmare on Zombie Street, Book Number Five, in my very own hands. In ten minutes, I’ll be reading the actual brand-spanking-new, just-released, way-official Creature with the Cootie Brain.”

  “Your brain has cooties,” said Judy.

  “What time is it now?” Stink asked Dad.

  “Eight fifty-three,” said Dad.

  “And twenty-two zeconds,” said Mom.

  Stink waved his hands at the front door of the bookstore. “Open Zombie!” he commanded. The keys in the front door went jingle, jingle. The door went click!

  “Wow, I must have super magic zombie powers,” said Stink.

  “Welcome to the Midnight Zombie Walk!” said the bookstore lady.

  “Cootie brains, here I come,” said Stink. He, along with crowds of other kids, pushed through the doors. “Is this zombie rush hour or something?”

  “Or something,” said Judy. She reached up to steady her Bridezilla wig.

  While they waited, Stink and Judy spotted B.O.B. at the back of the bookstore. B.O.B. was wrapped in a big green bow.

  When it was Stink’s turn, he sat Charlie Zombie on the counter and made him talk: “Zombie. Want. Book!” Charlie moaned at the bookstore clerk.

  “He’d like Book Number Five, please,” Judy said, translating.

  The bookstore lady handed a brand-spanking-new book to Stink. Stink handed over his money.

  “Whoa! Creature with a Cootie Brain!” Stink sang. He could not help doing a little ‘I got it’ dance with his feet. Then he held the book to his nose and took a whiff.

  “Stink. You’re smelling a book,” said Judy.

  “So? New book smell is the best.”

  “Don’t forget your free zombie cootie catcher,” said the bookstore lady. “Zombies use them to catch human cooties before they eat your brains.”

  “Zank you,” said Stink.

  Nightmare on Zombie Street, Book Five. Creature with the Cootie Brain. Page One. A strange darkness fell over Zombie Street. . . .

  For ten minutes, a strange quiet fell over the bookstore. Zombies short and tall, cheerleader to cowboy, had their noses in books. Big zombies read to little zombies. Dad and Mom zombies read quietly to kid zombies.

  Stink could not stop reading Book Number Five. Fred went pale. Hoodoo and Voodoo clutched each other. “This is your last warning,” said Gilgamesh. “Beware the Creature with the cootie brain!”

  Stink finished chapter 1.

  Ding ding ding! “Attention, everybody! May I have your attention!” said the bo
okstore lady. “I have an important announcement to make. I’ve just been told that one of our local schools, Virginia Dare Elementary, has reached one million minutes of reading!”

  The crowd went wild. Zombies clapped and whooped and hollered.

  Stink’s teacher, Mrs. Dempster, stood up. “To any Virginia Dare students here tonight, your teachers are proud of you. You’ve all worked really hard. Your parents are proud of you, too, but no one is prouder tonight than Ms. Tuxedo, the principal of Virginia Dare Elementary.”

  A buzz went through the crowd.

  “Where is she?”

  “Where’s the principal?”

  “Ms. Tuxedo could not be here with us tonight,” Mrs. Dempster continued.

  “Awww!” everybody yelled.

  Mrs. D. walked over to B.O.B. “So she has asked me to do the honors on her behalf, and open the Big Orange Box.”

  “Bob!” screamed the crowd. “Bob! Bob! Bob! Bob! Bob!”

  Mrs. D. held up a pair of scissors. A hush fell over the crowd.

  Snip! Mrs. D. cut the ribbon.

  Mrs. D. grinned. Voilà!

  Mrs. D. opened one flap, then the other. The crowd held its breath.

  Out of the box popped a haystack of half-black, half-white hair. Zombie hair! And the hair was perched on top of a . . . person! That person began to sing:

  “Cruella De Zombie, Cruella De Zombie. If she doesn’t freak you out, nothing will.”

  Cruella De Zombie wore a black-and-white spotted coat and bloodred boots. With a sweep of her arm, she tossed a black feather boa over her shoulder. A giant eyeball necklace gleamed in the spotlight. Next to her was a real-live dog — a Dalmatian, with a fake bloody arm in its mouth.

  “Principal Tuxedo!” everybody yelled. The zombie principal held the eyeball up to her eye. “I vant to zee some reading!” The crowd went bonkers.

  “Boys and girls,” shouted Principal Zombie. “Tonight we have reached our goal of reading one million minutes.”

  “That’s one zillion in zombie talk,” said Stink.

  “I have here a letter signed by none other than the First Lady of the United States. She would like to congratulate all of you for one million minutes of reading. Her letter says, ‘Reading grows strong hearts and minds, and you are an inspiration to children everywhere.’”

  More clapping!

  “People from all over our town who have been coming to the bookstore have pledged to donate books to our school library if we reached our goal. Thanks to every reader, the Virginia Dare School library will be receiving one thousand brand-new books! Hip, hip, hooray!”

  “Will they all be zombie books?”

  “That’s like the whole entire bookstore.”

  “I’m still reading!” said a zombie firefighter in the corner.

  “One last thing.” The principal tapped on the microphone. She cleared her throat. “I hereby officially declare”— she raised a finger in the air —“that reading is UN-dead!”

  “Who’s ready for the Midnight Zombie Walk?” asked the bookstore lady.

  “We are!”

  “Who’s going to take over Main Street without fear?”

  “Zombies!”

  “I can’t hear you.”

  “Zombies!”

  “Louder!”

  “ZOMBIES!” everybody screamed at the top of their lungs.

  Zombies lined up at the door. “Cruella De Zombie will lead the way!” said Principal Tuxedo. “Follow me, if you dare!”

  Hordes of zombies poured out onto the sidewalk. The street was blocked off from traffic. Even Officer Kopp was dressed as a zombie policeman.

  Stink and his friends moaned and groaned. Charlie said, “Brains! Me want brains!” They limped and lurched. Stink dragged one foot. Sophie rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. Webster drooled.

  “Are zombies too cool to drool?” Webster asked.

  “You’re never too zool to drool,” said Sophie.

  Riley Rottenburger, Zombie Prom Queen, walked beside them. She wore a bat necklace, long gloves, and a crown that looked like a spiderweb. Her sash said LITTLE MISS ZOMBIE.

  “Cool crown,” said Sophie.

  “Thanks. It’s a spider tiara,” said Riley.

  A teenager on a skateboard whizzed past.

  “Stare straight ahead,” said Stink. “Do not make eye contact with alive humans.”

  “Keep it weird, dudes,” said the skateboarder. Stink cracked up.

  Mom and Dad walked behind Stink and his friends.

  “Hey! It’s the Zombie Lunch Lady!” somebody called. Mom waved.

  Zombies filled the streets.

  “There must be over a hundred zombies out here,” said Mom.

  “More like ten hundred,” said Stink. “Zen thousand!”

  “Did you know zombie walks are a big thing?” Dad said. “Not just when books come out, either. They have walks like this all over the country. From Pittsburgh to Seattle.”

  “They even have a world record for the most zombies,” said Stink. “Our town should try to break the record for the biggest Midnight Zombie Walk ever.”

  “I’m going to find Rocky and Frank,” said Judy.

  “How long is this zombie walk?” Dad asked. “I think rigor mortis is setting in.”

  “And I know some zombies who are up way past bedtime,” said Mom.

  “We can’t go home,” said Stink. “We didn’t even get to the spooky part yet.” He pointed down the street. “See? For the next three blocks, they turned out all the streetlights and made it like a haunted house.”

  “Okay, ten more minutes. But as soon as we get home, it’s straight to bed,” said Mom. “Zombie Lunch Lady has spoken.”

  “You kids go ahead,” said Dad. “Stay with the group, Stink. Mom and I will wait in front of the bookstore.”

  “Mom? Can you hold Charlie?”

  “Sure,” said Mom. “We wouldn’t want him taking his own midnight walk. He could end up in the coat closet. Or even break one of my fancy dishes.” She held Charlie up in front of her face. “And if that happens, you can kiss your allowance good-bye for a while, Charlie,” she said to Stink in a funny voice.

  Stink’s eyes got wide. “We’ll talk later,” said Mom. “Go have fun.”

  A pack of blue-haired zombies in school uniforms lurched down Main Street, past the dark windows of closed shops. Spooky shadows crisscrossed the road like giant cobwebs. Zombie ghosts hung from trees. An owl hooted. The hairs on Stink’s arms stood on end.

  They walked a little farther. Zombie moans and groans filled the air. Body parts littered the sidewalks. Bloody arms, legs, and feet were strewn every which way. All of a sudden, a hand came out of a storm drain. “Aagh!” they screamed, and leaped out of the way.

  Hordes of zombies shuffled past Speedy Market, past Fur & Fangs, past Gino’s Pizza. Grunts of “brains” echoed into the night as they lurched past Screamin’ Mimi’s, where a voice from inside the shop screamed. And it wasn’t for ice cream.

  “This is giving me the creeps,” Stink whispered. They turned the corner, following behind a bunch of college kids led by an Abe Lincoln zombie.

  All of a sudden, a guy dressed as a zombie mailman with a beard of blood popped out from behind a mailbox. Grinning with decaying teeth, he held up a head. A dead head!

  Sophie hung on to Stink’s arm. Stink clutched Webster’s sleeve. They crept and crawled past the candy shop. Past the toy store. They were almost back to the bookstore when a bucket of blood and guts rained down in front of them from the roof of the hardware store, gushing all over the sidewalk.

  “Run!” Stink yelled.

  The three friends ran screaming down the sidewalk and around the corner. Webster’s shoe tumbled off his head. Sophie dropped Zombalina. Stink lost his brains.

  They ran screaming all the way back to the bookstore. To the light. To the spot where Mom, Dad, and Judy were waiting for them.

  “What’s wrong?” asked Dad.

  “Are y
ou okay?” said Mom.

  “Why were you guys screaming so loud?” Judy asked.

  Stink held his side. He bent over. “Body. Parts. Blood,” he panted.

  “We were screaming because . . .” Sophie started.

  “Because that was the BEST Midnight Zombie Walk EVER!” said Stink.

  “Blood and guts and body parts!” said Webster. “We got caught in a brainstorm.”

  “Vomitocious!” said Sophie.

  Stink held his hand over his still-beating heart. “I think we just broke the world record! For the first-ever Midnight Zombie RUN!”

  is the author of the popular Judy Moody and Stink series. She says, “Once, while I was visiting a class, the kids chanted, ‘Stink! Stink! Stink!’ as I entered the room. In that moment, I knew that Stink had to have a series all his own.” Megan McDonald lives in California.

  is the illustrator of all the Judy Moody and Stink books. He says, “Stink reminds me of myself growing up: dealing with a sister prone to teasing and bossing around — and having to get creative in order to stand tall beside her.” Peter H. Reynolds lives in Massachusetts.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.

  Text copyright © 2012 by Megan McDonald

  Illustrations copyright © 2012 by Peter H. Reynolds

  Interior illustrations created by Matt Smith

  Stink®. Stink is a registered trademark of Candlewick Press, Inc.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, taping, and recording, without prior written permission from the publisher.

  First electronic edition 2012

  The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition as follows:

  McDonald, Megan

  Stink and the Midnight Zombie Walk / Megan McDonald. — 1st ed.

  p. cm.

  Summary: Stink and his friends try to earn money to buy the latest book in the Nightmare on Zombie Street series and go to the book release party.