SCOTLAND ZEN and the art of SOCIAL WORK
Genetic testing can be performed at any stage of development even before the onset of symptoms. This raises several ethical debates regarding the age at which an individual is considered mature enough to choose testing, the right of parents to test their children, and confidentiality and disclosure of test results
We arrive at Kate’s still dressed up looking like debt collectors or Provident money lenders. I hope none of her neighbours are watching. The door opens before we are half way up the path, a sure sign of nerves, well they’re certainly not the only ones.
We get settled in the far too tidy living room and tea is offered. I am dying for a cup and about six chocolate biscuits, in times of stress I eat, but Harry jumps in with,
‘Maybe we can have tea later. First, we have some important news for you.’
Kate and Phillip are sitting close together on the couch. Kate’s hand flies to her mouth,
‘Good news? Please God let it be good.’
I am determined to say my bit clearly and calmly, as rehearsed in the car on the way here, and become a part of this family’s history.
‘There are twin baby boys one week old very soon to be released for adoption, who seem to be a perfectly good match to you, we need to discuss how you feel.’
Phillip instantly goes white, as if all the blood has drained out of his head, but he manages to move even closer to Kate and takes her hand.
‘Are you all right,’ Harry says.
‘Don’t worry about him, he’ll be fine, he’s often speechless,’ says Kate, ‘I’m flabbergasted, Mr Wang, but Tommy knows us, we can cope with anything.’
Halleluiah! Just what we needed to hear. I explained that the legal process had been started for the release of the children so we needed a definite answer from them as soon as they had had time to think carefully about it. I felt we were putting incredible pressure on Kate and Phillip, but these babies needed to be settled in a family quickly, instead of lingering in foster care, and there were lots of other couples waiting in the wings.
Kate then stood up and said,
‘There is no problem, we will be really blessed, of course we will have these boys how could you think otherwise, now I can make the tea.’
We three men were left in silence. Women are amazingly good at times like this. Just when you think they may fold and weep, they take a giant stride and just get on with their lives or into this case, make the tea. I should have known, Kate has that female strength men know nothing about.
We have our tea, with me restraining myself to two biscuits, and Harry and I give them all the information we are able to, and ask them to calm down over the weekend and try to make a firm decision. They both sound as if they’ve already made up their minds and twins were what they had wanted all along.
What a day! I’m tired but very relieved that everything has gone so well so far, but I’m not finished yet. I ask Kate to call a taxi for Harry to take him to his car, which is still in the Social Work car park, as I’m not going straight home. I have one last visit to make.
They won’t hear of it and Phillip says he will give Harry a lift down to Motherwell. Harry looks at me in a very marked manner as we leave together, but says nothing, good man.
Five minutes later I am at Mags’ door. I’ve no idea what kind of reception I’ll get, not phoning her all week and now arriving unannounced. She answers my knock,
‘Is this okay Mags, can I come in?’
‘Come to take my kids away,’ she says coldly, ‘You’re certainly dressed for the Sheriff Court.’
We stand in the hall and I can hear television noise and the children laughing, it must be Beadle time.
‘I know I haven’t phoned you all week but I’m here to baby-sit.’ she looks completely confused, eyes narrowed, head on one side,
‘I’m a qualified child care social worker and your children will be safe with me, I promise. Kate needs you, she is in on her own right now, they’ve had some news,’ I say all this without taking a breath.
‘Give me your car keys, you shite, what’s happened?’ she almost shouts.
Before she starts to hit me I say,
‘Kate and Phillip could be getting twins,’ that stops her dead, ‘that’s why I couldn’t phone you. I was scared of not being able to keep the secret.’
She runs to the bedroom to get her coat then goes into the living room and says,
‘Tommy’s here, I have to go out for half an hour, don’t play up!’ then to me, ‘I’ll deal with your behaviour later.’ In her rush and panic, she may have confused me with one of her children.
Theresa and Rosie make a space between them on the sofa for me and I sink down thankfully, feeling very happy and a bit exhausted. Five minutes later I take off my jacket and shoes and snuggle down again.
John shakes my shoulder and I wake with a shock,
‘Mum’s on the phone.’
God almighty, how could I have fallen asleep, I struggle up and go into the kitchen to get the phone.
‘Some super-dooper child care man you are, John said you were snoring so loud they had to turn the telly up.’
‘Sorry, just resting my eyes. How are things there?’
‘Kate is now hysterical but happy and Phillip came home after dropping off Mr. Wang and started making the dinner. I’m calling to see if you are staying for tea, I can bring in fish and chips, if you like, a bit of a celebration.’
She still sounds a bit formal, I don’t know if the celebration is for Kate or us, but who cares,
‘I’m starving,’ I tell her, ‘but there’s no hurry, if Kate wants you to stay longer, I can always eat one of your children.’
At last, I hear a smile in her voice as she says she won’t be long.
I set the table in the kitchen feeling slightly strange and intrusive taking control in Mags’ house. Theresa gives me instructions where to find the cutlery and plates and bread and brown sauce. I ask John to nip out to the back garden to try to find some flowers for the table. He runs out and comes back a few minutes later with two lupins, some daisies and a bit of fern, not bad. Wee Rosie is thrilled when I ask her to arrange the flowers in a vase, but I supervise her carefully, I don’t need her to slit her wrists on a smashed vase, which would really impress Mags with my child minding skills. She is not so thrilled when I tell her and Theresa and John that they have to be washed, as best they can, and in pyjamas in five minutes flat.
We all manage to be sitting at the table, with the kettle boiled, when Mags arrives home, laden with fragrant greasy bags from the chip shop.
She is happily astounded when she sees the table set, the floral centrepiece, and the children practically ready for bed. The girls’ hair is not brushed, but I didn’t quite know the protocol for this. Theresa has a side ponytail and Rosie has two French plaits, much too difficult for me to tackle. Mags compliments us on how well everything looks and starts to dish out the food.
When you are really hungry, when your stomach thinks your throat is cut, there is nothing in the world that tastes as good as a fish supper, brown sauce and a hot cup of tea. Scottish soul food.
Mags is grinning from ear to ear but obviously doesn’t want to discuss her visit to Kate in front of the kids.
‘Why did you have to go to Aunty Kate’s?’ asks John, ‘You were away for ages,’
‘Sorry, but your Aunty wasn’t feeling too good so I took her some headache pills, she’ll be fine now.’
She shrugged at me, acknowledging it wasn’t a very clever lie, but it would have to do.
When we had all eaten tons, Mags asked me to make myself comfortable on the couch and she would finish the bed routine. I’m curious as to how comfortable she wants me to be, maybe settled for the night? I’m not sure. She brought the girls into the living room and one by one untied their hair, thoroughly brushed it and tied it with a ribbon at the back of their necks, they looked like little angels.
‘Are you watching just so you’ll know what to do next time?’ said Theresa.
&nb
sp; I decide, diplomatically to say nothing, and Mags answered her,
‘You’ll soon be old enough to do it yourself, so less of your cheek young lady.’
The girls giggle themselves into bed then John comes in to say goodnight, he announces he has a good book, so he won’t need a story tonight. How independent!
‘Are you staying here all night?’ he says as he walks out of the room.
‘No,’ I reply, ‘I have to get home soon.’
‘Uncle Mickey sometimes sleeps on the couch when he’s drunk,’ he says with a cheeky grin. Mags ushers him out with a shove, and says he is turning into a wee bitchy gossip. He loves this, and keeps repeating, bitchy gossip, bitchy gossip all the way to his bed.
At last all is peaceful and Mags sinks on to the couch close to me. I apologise again for not calling her all week, but she says she understands now and she would have been tortured if she had known before Kate, so it was all for the best. She said Kate was fine and delighted with the possibility of two boys, an instant family but a bit of a shock. At least when you are having twins yourself, you have a few months to get used to the idea. Phillip looked to be the one who was more nervous, his face was white and he had paced about a bit, then spent half an hour on the phone to his parents not making much sense, until they put the phone down on him and arrived at the door ten minutes later. They only live in Newarthill, just up the road. This will be their first grandchildren and they can’t wait. Mags said they all cried they were so happy, and she felt it was time to leave before they were all wrecked and over-emotional. In the middle of this, Kate was trying to cook the dinner that Phillip had abandoned.
‘Was your mother there?’
‘‘No, she phoned to say she was on her way and I made a swift exit, I can see her another time,’ said Mags, ‘she’s already interrogated me about your visit last week, she thought the kids were two steps away form care homes. She would have a fit if she knew you were here again.’
I put my arm round her and leaned over and kissed her. She was delicious, tasting of brown sauce and vinegar, with a faint smell of a cigarette she must have sneaked while she was out. The kissing didn’t last long. Mags sat up straight and looked up at me with a serious look on her face,
‘I can’t do this Tommy, my kids aren’t asleep yet. I don’t want them finding us snuggling on the couch. It’s wouldn’t be good for them.’
Bugger! I wanted, right that minute, to kiss her till her eyes bulged out, and a lot more. I wanted to lie in her bed naked with her smiling on top of me till daybreak.
‘Of course, Mags, I’ll go, I’m dead beat anyway,’ I said. Gutted. When I was at the door, and had my shoes and my fathers jacket back on, she kissed me chastely and said,
‘You’re a nice man, Tommy, you’ve made this whole family happy tonight and the flowers were so lovely, I nearly cried.’
‘Lupins and a few daisies? You’re a cheap date Mags.’
With that, she pushed me out the door in mock fury and I made my lonely way home.