A Turn in the Road

  “What made you decide right then that you had to forgive him? And how did you manage it?”

  “At first, I thought it would be impossible. I thought no one could forgive what Grant had done to me and our children. But then...” She bit her lip.

  Max reached for her hand, gripping her fingers hard, silently encouraging her to continue.

  “Then I understood that unless I freed my heart of the bitterness and resentment I felt toward Grant, I’d be incapable of ever loving again. I had to unclench my fist of anger in order to fill my palm with happiness, with joy...with love.”

  “And you’ve done that?”

  “Max,” she whispered, unsure how to respond. “I’ve done my best but I’ve discovered forgiveness is a lot harder than it looks. Just when I think I’m completely over what he did, something will happen that shows me how far I still have to go.”

  “Like what?”

  “I told you he was upset with me because I took a risk and rode off with you. That angered me and I let him know it. Later, I felt bad because all Grant was really doing was telling me he was concerned about me and that he loves me. I was shocked by how quickly those old resentments returned.”

  Max circled the straw around his empty soda glass. “How’s Grant’s relationship with his children?”

  “Better.” Bethanne carefully chose the appropriate word. “Andrew’s had a hard time trusting his father. When we were first divorced, Annie acted out her anger but eventually she calmed down and now they’re as close as they used to be. I’m pretty sure he’s keeping tabs on me during this trip through Annie.” In other words, Grant had more than likely heard an earful about Max already.

  “No doubt,” he mumbled.

  “Andrew’s wedding complicates matters even more,” she said. “Grant wants us to stand together, united as a family, as we celebrate our son’s marriage. In theory it sounds like a good idea.”

  “And you’d like that, too?”

  “Yes, I suppose I would. Grant and I love our son and we adore Courtney. But...”

  “But?”

  She was astonished by how easily she could voice her feelings to him. “Grant and me together sends a message to our family and friends that isn’t accurate. We aren’t a couple and haven’t been for six years.”

  Bethanne was grateful that Max didn’t share his opinions or offer advice. His willingness to remain silent told her that he trusted her judgment and her ability to make difficult choices. To make the decisions that were best for her and her children.

  As the afternoon progressed, she saw that the ice cream parlor had started to fill up. Max looked around and noticed it, too. They were taking up spaces paying customers could use.

  “Can I take you to dinner tonight?” he asked.

  “Ice cream? Dinner? Apparently, what happens in Vegas is really pretty tame.” She smiled as she said it.

  Max smiled, too. “The night isn’t over yet.”

  They set a time and place to meet, and Bethanne went up to her room to change clothes and check on Ruth. Her mother-in-law sat on the bed, leaning against some pillows she’d stacked behind her, feet crossed at the ankles. She was knitting and watching television.

  She looked up when Bethanne walked into their room. “I called Jane in Florida,” she said, blushing a little. “I used the hotel phone, which probably cost me more than I lost at the slots, but I wanted my friends to know where we were. Jane asked how soon we’d be in Florida.” She beamed with pleasure over the phone call.

  “What did you tell her?”

  Ruth’s grin seemed to brighten her entire face. “I told her we have a long way to drive, but we’ll get there. Jane said that since we’re in the area, it would be a shame not to see the Grand Canyon. We should go, don’t you think?”

  “We really should,” Bethanne agreed. She opened her suitcase and unpacked the only dress she’d brought. “Have you heard from Annie?”

  “Not a peep.”

  Bethanne nodded and called her daughter’s cell. Annie explained that she and Jason had tickets for a show that evening; she was definitely amenable to visiting the Grand Canyon. “Might as well,” she said cheerfully. “Bye, Mom!”

  Bethanne shook out her dress and hung it in the closet. While her back was to Ruth, she said, “Max invited me to dinner. Will you be all right by yourself?”

  “You’re going out?” Ruth sounded surprised. “With that biker?”

  “It’s Vegas.” Bethanne shrugged, but she did feel guilty about deserting her mother-in-law.

  Ruth frowned. “Are you sure that’s wise?”

  “I’ll be fine, although I hate the thought of you spending all your time in the room. You should go out, explore the town, enjoy yourself.” She took her dress into the bathroom to change into and set out a pair of strappy heels to wear.

  Ruth didn’t seem keen on the idea of going out on her own. “I suppose I could find something to do,” she muttered when Bethanne reappeared. “But I wonder whether you should be having dinner with another man...” She left the rest unsaid.

  “Ruth, don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.”

  Ruth glowered. “I hope you haven’t taken leave of your senses.”

  Despite her effort not to, Bethanne laughed. She wasn’t going to argue with Ruth, wasn’t even going to point out that this was her business. “I won’t be late,” she said as she breezed out of the room. One day was all Max had asked of her and she couldn’t refuse him—or herself.

  Max met her in the lobby and did a double-take when he saw her. He’d changed, too, and wore slacks and a crisp cotton shirt, one she suspected from the crease marks was brand-new. It occurred to Bethanne that it hadn’t been practical to wear a dress if he planned on taking his bike. Rooster was with him and straightened when he saw her.

  “Wow, you clean up nice,” the older man said.

  “Thanks.” She ran her hand down the front of her pale pink sheath.

  “What’s Ruth up to tonight?” he asked.

  “She’s threatening to order room service.” Bethanne rolled her eyes at that. Ruth could pitch guilt with the best of them, but Bethanne refused to cancel her evening with Max.

  Both men chuckled and Rooster sauntered over to the elevators. “Shall we?” Max said, offering her his arm. Once they were outside the hotel, the doorman got them a taxi. The restaurant Max took her to turned out to be a high-end steak house. Everything was delicious, from her salad to the rich dessert they shared. Max selected the wine, a rich cabernet sauvignon from France, and they discussed various Old and New World wines.

  Max paid the bill, and when they left, he waved down a taxi. He gave the driver an address, and Bethanne asked, “Where are we going?” as he held her door.

  He smiled, eyebrows raised. “To a biker bar.”

  “Oh.” She’d feel terribly out of place.

  “Don’t worry,” he said as he got in beside her. “It isn’t what you think.”

  A few minutes later, they arrived at what appeared to be a honky-tonk tavern, where the band was loud and the crowd boisterous. Max found them a table in a shadowy corner and ordered drinks—pints of beer from a microbrewery she’d never heard of. Several couples were dancing, and before the waitress returned, Max led Bethanne onto the floor.

  They danced until they were breathless. The live music was energetic, the atmosphere festive. Several men cast her questioning looks but she doubted their curiosity was due to her or the way she’d dressed. The men seemed surprised to see Max with a woman, which made Bethanne feel even more special.

  When she was convinced she couldn’t dance another step, they went back to the table and collapsed into their chairs. Bethanne hadn’t spent that much time on the dance floor in years. Max dragged his chair next to hers and picked up his beer mug, draining ha
lf of it. Then he set the mug aside, slipped his hand around her shoulder and drew her mouth to his.

  This time Bethanne didn’t hesitate. She closed her eyes and met him halfway. Winding her arms around his neck, she leaned into the kiss, which was gentle and soft. In the beginning. That quickly changed as passion flared between them. It’d been so long since she’d experienced desire, real physical need, that it rocked her. The kiss became so intense, she nearly slid off her chair.

  Max seemed to feel just as shaken. He broke off the kiss and slumped back. His eyes met hers; he had the look of a man who was dazed, stunned. Bethanne understood, because she felt that same mixture of astonishment and wonder.

  Neither seemed to know what to say. After a moment, Max touched her face. “You taste nice,” he whispered, sounding unlike himself.

  She lowered her lashes. “So do you.”

  He leaned forward and kissed her again as though testing his own observation. She clung to him. His kiss was urgent, needy, and once again desire sparked between them, scorching Bethanne’s senses. She turned her head away and buried her face in his shoulder, trying to understand what was happening to them. Max ran his fingers through her hair and continued kissing the side of her face.

  Anywhere else Bethanne would have been embarrassed. Thankfully, no one here seemed to notice or care.

  They danced and kissed and became so involved with each other that it was after two in the morning before she was aware of the time. Resting her forehead against his, Bethanne sighed. “I have to go.”

  His hold on her briefly tightened. “Okay.”

  “Don’t think that’s what I want,” she said. “I’d like nothing better than to spend the rest of my time in Vegas with you.”

  “But you can’t.”

  “No, we’re leaving for the Grand Canyon tomorrow morning.”

  “It’s spectacular. You’ll love it.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered. “I’m so glad you called.”

  “I am, too. Can I call you again?”

  She didn’t know how to respond.

  “Tell you what,” Max said. “You call me. You should have my cell number in your phone index. If I don’t hear from you...let’s say by August first, after your son’s wedding, then I’ll know you’ve decided to go back to Grant.”

  She nodded.

  Max escorted her to the hotel and kissed her one last time. He was wrong about one thing, she thought. What happened in Vegas wouldn’t stay here. It would always be with her.

  Fourteen

  By the time Ruth, Annie and Bethanne left Las Vegas, it was almost noon. They’d slept in until after ten, eaten a late breakfast, packed up the car and were now on their way. This was the new rental and once again they’d opted to do without a navigational device. They had their map and an atlas; that should be enough.

  No one seemed to be talking much, and the tension inside the car remained high as Bethanne headed toward Henderson, Nevada, and then over Hoover Dam south on Highway 93. It went without saying that Annie and Ruth were upset with her for staying out so late with Max, but neither commented. Just as well. Her relationship with Max was none of their business, regardless of what they might think. Soon the map directed them toward the cutoff for Grand Canyon National Park.

  Finally, Annie broke the ice. “Will you be seeing Max again?” she asked from the back seat. Although the question was thrown out casually, Bethanne could see that both her daughter and Ruth were keenly interested in her answer.

  Would she see him again? That depended on what she decided about Grant—a decision that was hers alone. She’d told Max she’d contact him after Andrew’s wedding. The beginning of August, he’d suggested, but that seemed so long to wait. Even after she’d slipped into bed beside Annie, all Bethanne could think about was the kisses she’d shared with Max. No man had affected her the way he did, not since she was in college and first met Grant.

  “Mom?” Annie prompted.

  “I...I don’t know,” she said. “Will you be seeing Jason again?”

  “Probably not,” Annie admitted reluctantly, “but he has my cell number.”

  Max had hers, too, but he wouldn’t use it, wouldn’t phone until she’d called him. That was how they’d left it.

  “We’re in a different time zone,” Ruth announced, changing the subject as they crossed the state line. “Arizona isn’t on daylight savings.”

  Bethanne knew that her mother-in-law had always been uncomfortable with conflict and tried to avoid it whenever possible. Bethanne had been much the same for most of her married life. But that had gradually changed; she’d reinvented herself as a businesswoman, which had required her to negotiate, to compete and to promote her services. A woman who lacked confidence couldn’t do those things.

  The tension in the car eased, and the silence became companionable. Bethanne turned on the radio, filling the car with ABBA and the Fifth Dimension. It wasn’t long before Ruth and Bethanne were singing along and Annie’s voice harmonized with theirs.

  “That’s just plain good music,” her daughter said, apparently surprised that she’d be enjoying the same songs as her mother and grandmother.

  They drove out of range and lost that station after half an hour or so. Bethanne snapped off the radio, and they lapsed back into silence.

  “How are the wedding gloves progressing?” Ruth asked after another lengthy period when no one seemed inclined to talk.

  “When has Mom had time to knit?” Annie joked. “Frankly, I never imagined I’d see my mother on a Harley.”

  Her daughter didn’t know her nearly as well as she thought, but Bethanne didn’t say anything. Annie’s vision of her was a contradictory one—including both the independent businesswoman of today and the complacent wife of years past.

  “This is all too weird for me,” Annie was saying. “My mom and Mad Max? It’s just...odd, you know.”

  “Odd?”

  “Don’t get me wrong, Mom. I realize this is your life and everything, but a guy on a bike? Really? My mother?”

  “I don’t find it odd at all,” Bethanne muttered. But it was a moot point, since she likely wouldn’t see Max again, although the prospect saddened her.

  Ruth broke into a half smile.

  “That reminds me of my family’s opinion of Royce and me.”

  “Who’s Royce?” Annie immediately asked.

  “I think he’s another friend your grandmother hopes to see in Florida.”

  “Oh-h-h,” Annie said, dragging out the word in a meaningful way.

  Bethanne could only assume her mother-in-law wanted to discuss this man—or else why bring him up?—but she had to grin at Ruth’s blush.

  “So, tell us about Royce,” Bethanne said, taking advantage of the change in subject so she wouldn’t have to answer questions about Max. She wasn’t so different from Ruth, after all, trying to maintain the peace and avoid discord. Perhaps she hadn’t changed as much as she thought...

  “Oh...” Ruth stared down at her hands. “As you’ve already guessed, we dated during our senior year. We broke up after I went to college and he became a marine.”

  “So he’s attending the reunion, too?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you’re hoping to reconnect with him?” Bethanne asked.

  Ruth nodded. “We had a...nasty falling-out, so I’m a bit apprehensive.”

  “Oh, Grandma, he’s probably just as excited about getting together as you are.”

  “Do you really think so?”

  Ruth’s question was so sincere and charming that Bethanne wished she could lean over and hug her.

  “So it’s been years and years since you last saw him?” Annie asked.

  “Oh, yes...so many that I can hardly believe it. I heard he lost his wife a few years b
ack, and Richard’s gone, and, well, I hoped... Oh, I don’t know, other than that this would give me the opportunity to resolve things between us. We parted on such bitter terms.”

  “Does he realize you’re coming to the reunion?”

  “I...I don’t know.”

  “Are you going to fall in love all over again and marry him, Grandma?” Annie teased.

  “Annie,” Bethanne chastised. “Come on. Don’t put your grandmother on the spot like that.”

  Ruth twisted around to look at Annie. “Honey, remember we haven’t seen each other in over fifty years and—and there’s a lot we have to say.”

  “Can’t you say it on the phone?” Annie asked. “You should call him.”

  “Call him? When?”

  “Now. Or before you show up at the reunion, anyway.”

  “I don’t think I can do it,” Ruth murmured, pressing her palms against her cheeks. “What I need to tell him—well, it’s the sort of thing I’d rather do face-to-face.”

  “Oh,” Annie said as though she understood. “You loved him, right?”

  “Yes. Very much. And then I met your grandfather and...everything changed.”

  “Do you still love Royce?”

  “How could I possibly know? I was eighteen when we dated. He came from a poor family, and my father never really approved of our relationship. In retrospect, I know Daddy only wanted the best for me. He liked Richard and, well, it was such a long time ago...”

  Ruth was so quiet all of a sudden that Bethanne glanced in her direction, shocked to see tears making wet tracks down her cheeks.

  “Ruth,” she whispered. “What is it?”

  Shaking her head, Ruth buried her face in her hands and started to weep in earnest.

  “Grandma?” Annie leaned forward, touching her grandmother’s shoulder.

  “What is it, Ruth?” Bethanne asked softly. Whatever it was must have to do with Royce.