Breathe With Me

  “It’s good to see you, Sam.”

  “Don’t let Mark make you late for everything. It’s a bad habit of his.” Sam links her arm through Mer’s and leads her into the house with Leo and me bringing up the rear. “How did it go with Starla?”

  Meredith glances at Sam in surprise. “How did you know Jax and I were working with Starla?”

  “Mark told me,” Sam replies.

  “It was fun, but I’m happy to be home.”

  But for how long are you going to be home?

  “Hello, everyone!” Mom is holding a sleeping Keaton on her shoulder, swaying her hips back and forth, rocking him soothingly as Livie and Luke sit on the floor playing with a toy kitchen.

  “Hi, Mom,” I say and kiss her cheek, then gesture to Meredith. “You remember Mer.”

  “Of course. Hello, darling. I’m so glad you came.”

  “Thank you for inviting me.” Mer grins and kisses Keaton’s head, then Mom’s cheek.

  “My turn,” Dad announces as he joins us from the kitchen. He collects hugs from Sam and me and then lifts Mer off her feet in a big bear hug. “It’s so good to see you, Meredith.”

  She grins and blinks back tears as he sets her on the ground, then moves on to shake Leo’s hand.

  “You okay?” I whisper down to her. She replies with a quick nod and a brave smile.

  “Hi, guys,” Nat says and waves from the dining table off the kitchen. She’s drinking a glass of wine and smiling happily.

  “You must be done breastfeeding,” Sam guesses and joins her.

  “Yes, ma’am. I figured it was for the best, especially with the Vegas trip this weekend.”

  Liv stands and walks over to the bookshelves by the television in the family room that opens up to the kitchen.

  “No, baby, you can’t have those,” Luke says and catches her before she can pull Mom’s glass bells off the shelf. “Mom, you have to babyproof this room. She’ll break these.”

  “She’s never paid any attention to them before. I guess it’s time to pack them away for a while,” Mom says and kisses Keaton’s cheek. I hold a chair out for Mer then sit next to her and pour her a glass of wine. My phone buzzes in my pocket, so I pull it out to find a text from Isaac.

  Take the rest of the week off. See you Friday at the airport.

  “Everything okay?” Mer asks as I set my phone on the table.

  “Yep. Isaac just gave me the rest of the week off.”

  “I like him so much,” Mer says with a grin. I can’t help myself, I lean in and kiss those lips before taking a sip of my wine. “Me too.”

  “Okay, men, I need you in the kitchen,” Dad announces as he starts pulling stuff out of the fridge.

  “That’s my cue,” I whisper and kiss Mer’s cheek before joining Dad and Luke in the kitchen. To my surprise, Leo joins us too and smirks when I raise a brow at him.

  “What? I can cook.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.”

  “Want to wear one of Mom’s aprons?” Luke asks and then laughs when Leo flips him off.

  “Livie!” Nat jumps up and runs after her daughter who has gone straight for Mom’s bells again.

  “Okay, troublemaker,” I say and scoop Livie into my arms. “You’ve wrecked enough havoc today. You can come cook with me.”

  “Unca Mawk,” she says and grins. “Cook wif you.”

  “That’s right.” I plant her on my hip and set about getting the rice ready and glance over to see Mer laughing with Nat, Sam and Mom.

  She fits perfect here.

  And then I remember Logan’s remark at the airport and all of the air leaves my lungs.

  Leo blows a raspberry on Liv’s cheek as he walks by, making her giggle and pulling me out of my depressing as fuck thoughts.

  “Daddy’s cookin’,” she says and points at Luke.

  “He thinks he is,” I reply and whisper in her ear, “but he’s not as good as Uncle Mark.”

  Liv giggles and Luke flips me off behind her back.

  “So, Nat,” I begin and watch Luke with a smug smile. “When are you going to run away with me?” I cross to where she’s sitting at the table and rest my hand on her shoulder. Mer’s pursing her lips, but her eyes are laughing at me.

  “I have to check my calendar,” she says and leans her face on my arm.

  “Dude, get your hands off my wife. You have your own girl.”

  “I don’t know,” Mer says, playing along. “I think they make a cute couple.”

  “You’re not supposed to encourage him,” Luke says, glaring at Mer.

  “You know you prefer me,” I continue. Livie is watching us avidly, turning her gaze from her mom at my side to her dad, who is now leaning on the kitchen counter glaring at me.

  “Mmm…” Natalie acts like she’s thinking it over, then shakes her head. “No, I’m still gonna stick with him.” She points to Luke and then pats my arm consolingly. “You have a better option over there anyway.”

  “I guess our love was never meant to be,” I say, my voice full of drama.

  “I guess not.”

  “You’re all sickening.” Sam rolls her eyes. “Seriously, run while you still can, Mer. They’re all a bunch of crazies.”

  “I think I’ll stay,” Mer says with a laugh. “I kind of like it.”

  Yes, for the love of all that’s holy, stay.

  “My kind of girl.” I kiss Mer’s cheek and lower Liv into her lap on my way back to the kitchen. I busy myself chopping vegetables for the salad, listening to the girls chatter and laugh. Luke and Leo are talking about a mutual friend in LA. Dad is seasoning the steaks for the grill.

  I glance over at Mer to find her watching me with sober eyes, her lips tight. What is she pissed about?

  Before I can ask her, Mom stands, lowers Keaton into his portable crib and gestures to the girls. “I want to show you girls my garden.”

  “Will you guys listen for Keaton? We’ll take Liv with us,” Nat says.

  “Sure, baby. Enjoy.” Luke smiles at his beautiful wife as the girls file out the patio door to the back yard.

  Meredith won’t meet my eyes.

  What the fuck just happened?

  Chapter Thirteen

  ~Meredith~

  “My kind of girl.” Mark kisses my cheek and lowers Liv gently onto my lap before joining the others in the kitchen. Liv looks up at me with wide eyes.

  “Your name?” she asks with her sweet little voice.

  “Meredith,” I reply.

  “Meme,” she replies and smiles widely, then slaps her hands on the table and glances over at her mama. “Hi, Mama!”

  “Hi, baby,” Nat says and smiles at her daughter.

  “What are you packing for this weekend in Vegas?” Sam asks us.

  “Are we doing formal stuff?” I ask and brush my fingers through Liv’s fine brown hair.

  “Maybe. I don’t really know what the plan is,” Nat says with a shrug. “I’ll probably bring a cocktail dress and heels, just in case. I’m definitely taking my bathing suit so we can lounge by the pool.”

  “I hate you for just having a baby a few months ago and you already have your pre-baby body back.” Sam glares at Natalie.

  “I’m telling you,” Nat says with a grin. “It’s the yoga.”

  “You do yoga?” I ask eagerly. “I’ve been trying to find a class since I moved back.”

  “I teach a class,” Nat says. “You should come.”

  “Awesome.”

  “Well, I’m not taking yoga,” Sam says.

  “You don’t need it,” Leo calls from the kitchen. Sam blows him a kiss.

  “Okay, so something nice and a bathing suit,” I say and mentally thumb through my closet. “I guess I’ll take some jeans and tops too.”

  “Yeah, bring a little of everything,” Sam says with a nod.

  “How are you doing, Meredith?” Lucy covers my hand with her own and offers me a kind smile. She was always so nice to me, and the feel of her ha
nd on mine reminds me of my mom and I’m caught in the grip of grief so quickly, I didn’t see it coming. My chest aches with a longing I’ve become used to feeling, but I keep the tears at bay and offer Lucy a smile.

  “I’m doing well. The studio is doing great.”

  “It’s such a joy to be able the spend time with you again,” Lucy says and pats my hand before turning her attention to Liv, who’s trying to squirm out of my lap so she can climb into Lucy’s.

  Before I can respond, I see the screen on Mark’s phone light up at my elbow. I glance down to see a message from someone named Tami.

  It’s been a while, sexy. Tonight work for you?

  Seriously? He has women still calling him for booty calls?

  I want to confront Mark right now, but now is not the time. We’re with his family, for crying out loud.

  It’ll have to wait for later. We need to have that talk anyway.

  Sam catches my eye and offers me a supportive smile. She obviously saw the text too. I just shrug, smile bravely and do my best not to stab Mark in the arm with the knife he’s currently using to chop the salad.

  Just as I lift my glass to take a sip of my wine, Mark’s screen lights up again, but this time it’s from someone named Marcy, and it’s a photo.

  Of her motherfucking tits.

  Are you fucking kidding me?

  “Man whore,” Sam mumbles and shakes her head. I don’t think I could confront him right now without killing him if I tried.

  My skin suddenly feels clammy and I’m seeing red.

  “I want to show you girls my garden.”

  “I could use some fresh air,” I respond immediately. Maybe I’ll be able to breathe through the fury so I can talk with Mark calmly. But just then, the screen comes to life again, the way they do when you haven’t checked the last message that came in, reminding you it’s there, and I get a second look at Marcy’s double-D’s.

  Lucy announces that we’re going outside just as Mark catches my eye. His brows rise in surprise when he sees my face, but I turn away, unable to look him in the eye. Luke agrees to listen for the baby as we shuffle outside.

  “I planted some new rose bushes,” Lucy begins as she leads us to the back corner of the large yard. I smile and nod and follow along, but don’t really hear what she’s talking about as she gives us the grand tour on the pretty light-lined paths that meander through the yard.

  “It doesn’t mean anything, you know,” Sam says quietly beside me. She and I slow down, falling behind Lucy and Nat, who continue to happily chat about Lucy’s plants. Nat is carrying Livie, who happily points to butterflies and birds flying nearby.

  “Doesn’t it?”

  “No.” She shakes her head and loops her arm through mine. “You have to know he wasn’t celibate for ten years.”

  I toss my head back and laugh. “Of course not. Have you seen him?”

  “I have. He’s not gross.”

  “No, he’s not.” I sigh and shove my hair behind my ears. “We need to talk.”

  “I think I might bust Leo’s balls if it were me. But then, I’m not a terribly jealous person, I would just want to mess with him a bit.”

  “I’m not typically jealous either, but seriously? That chick sent him a picture of her boobs.”

  Sam shudders and then laughs. “Girls strip their shirts off and shove their tits in Leo’s face. It’s delightful.”

  “Ugh.” I sigh and bite my lip. “Girls suck.”

  “Yes, they do. She probably doesn’t know he’s with you now.”

  “A lot of girls don’t care,” I remind her.

  “True. He’ll tell them. He’ll be embarrassed when he sees what you saw.”

  “I don’t want him to be embarrassed.”

  “What do you want?” she asks.

  “I don’t know.” I jerk one shoulder up in a shrug and then smile at her. “To unsee it. Thanks for talking me down from the ledge.”

  “You’re welcome. Now when you talk to him, you can do it in a productive way.”

  “I was daydreaming of stabbing him with that knife he was using,” I confess, making Sam laugh.

  “Well, I guess that means you love him, because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t care who texted him.”

  “I love him,” I say. “But I’m still pissed.”

  She nods just as Lucy and Nat join us.

  “Your yard is beautiful, Lucy,” I say and smile.

  “Thank you, dear. I think dinner should be ready by now.”

  When we step inside, the house smells amazing. The guys are just setting steaming plates on the table and Luke is feeding Keaton a bottle.

  “He woke up?” Nat asks Luke.

  “Yeah, he’s hungry,” he replies with a grin. Seeing Mark’s handsome older brother with the baby is a sight to behold. There’s a reason that Luke graced magazine covers and teenagers’ walls for so long. The man is hot.

  “Are you okay?” Mark asks as he slips beside me and wraps his arm around my waist.

  I could lie.

  But I won’t.

  “No. You missed some texts.” I point to his phone and walk away from him, sit at the table and decide to enjoy the rest of my evening with these nice people. Mark retrieves his phone as he sits next to me and checks the messages and then cringes and shakes his head in disgust.

  Dinner is a flurry of good food and even better conversation. I forget about those stupid women on Mark’s phone for a little while and enjoy the people around me. When we’ve finished eating, the girls jump up to clean while the guys take the babies into the family room.

  When the last dish is placed in the dishwasher and the kitchen is clean, we join the guys.

  “Can I hold him?” I ask Luke, who is holding a sleepy Keaton.

  “Of course you can,” he replies and gently passes the baby into my arms.

  “I’m getting braver with the little ones,” I say with a smile. “How do you hold them all the time and not worry about hurting them?”

  “They’re stronger than they look,” Neil replies and wraps his arm around Lucy’s shoulders, tugging her close to his side. No wonder the Williams men are affectionate. They’ve learned it from their father. “You won’t hurt them, sweet girl.”

  I brush my finger down Keaton’s nose and kiss his little round cheek. He makes little sucky motions with his lips.

  Suddenly, there’s a very foul smell coming from the little bundle of joy.

  “Um, I think he needs to be changed,” I say and glance around the room in a panic.

  “Come on.” Nat stands and motions for me to follow her. “I’ll help you.”

  “Oh God. I don’t want to break him,” I whisper and follow Nat down the hallway to a small nursery. “Lucy and Neil put in a nursery?”

  “They did. They love keeping the kids.” Nat helps me lay Keaton on the changing table and walks me through changing his very dirty diaper.

  “Dear God, Keaton!” I exclaim when I open the diaper. “What are they feeding you?”

  Nat laughs and hands me baby wipes.

  “I should be wearing a hazmat suit,” I mumble and clean the baby’s butt, powder it and under Nat’s supervision, wrap him back up again.

  “You’re a natural,” she says with a smile.

  “I might need therapy now.”

  When we return to the family room, everyone is laughing and watching us walk down the hallway.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask and settle back on the couch with the baby in my arms.

  “You are,” Mark replies and kisses my temple. “We could hear you through the baby monitor.”

  “Yeah, well, Keaton’s parents should reconsider his diet.” Keaton, wide awake now, is chewing on his fist, watching me talk. He grins a wide, toothless grin, and I fall even more in love with him. “You’re too handsome to smell like that. Yes you are.”

  “Sam, tell Meredith the story of you and Leo babysitting Liv when she was a baby and you had to call Meg to come change her diaper for
you.” Luke is laughing now, holding his stomach. “It was so classic.”

  “It was the first time we babysat her by ourselves,” Sam begins.

  “First and only time,” Mark adds, earning a glare from Sam.

  “And she filled her diaper. I had never changed a diaper before, and neither had Leo.”

  “I still say it’s unethical for a man to change a little girl’s diaper,” Leo says, holding his hands up in surrender. “It’s not appropriate.”

  I giggle and watch Sam and Leo take turns telling the story of waiting forever for Meg to show up and change the screaming baby’s diaper. They’re so great together, finishing each other’s sentences and looking at each other with so much love in their faces it’s blinding.

  “It worked out in the end,” Leo says as the story comes to a close.

  “That’s hilarious,” I reply and gaze down at the baby blowing bubbles in my arms.

  “We should go put the kids to bed,” Luke says and kisses Nat’s cheek. “I’m ready for some alone time with my wife.”

  “Ew,” Sam says and wrinkles her nose. “We don’t need that announcement.”

  Luke just smiles smugly and kisses his wife again, making Sam gag.

  “You guys are funny,” I say, not realizing I said it out loud until Sam laughs and shrugs.

  I lay Keaton in his car seat and step aside as Luke buckles him in and lifts him off the floor. Nat is carrying Liv and we all walk outside to say goodbye.

  “We should go too,” Mark says.

  “I have some work to do,” Sam says and smiles up at Leo. “Ready?”

  “I’m ready.”

  There are many hugs and promises of calling soon as we all climb into our vehicles and wave at Lucy and Neil before pulling away from the house.

  “I’d like to go home, please,” I say and stare out my window.

  “I was going to take you to my house.”

  “I’d rather just go home.”

  Mark sighs next to me and drags his hand down his face. Now that we’re alone, the anger is back. I’m tired and honestly, my feelings are hurt.

  And I don’t really care if that’s irrational.

  “Mer—”

  “We’ll talk when we get there, Mark.”

  I close my eyes and settle back in the seat and let him drive to my apartment in silence.