Breathe With Me

  I still and feel my eyes widen as I stare up at him. “You did?”

  He nods and continues to watch me soberly. He looks like he’s going to say something more, but before he can, I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck and murmur, “I love you so much.”

  He rolls us so he’s beneath me and I push up onto my elbows so I can see his face while I continue. “But I never stopped, M. I gave you my heart all those years ago, and I never took it back.”

  “I’m not giving it back,” he replies.

  “Good.”

  “But I believe I made you a promise.” His face is completely serious as he stares up at me and I frown.

  “What?”

  “I promised,” he says and kisses my palm. “To fuck you.”

  My lips twitch as I try to stay serious and nod gravely. “You did.”

  “I’m a man of my word, you know.”

  “Yes, you do have that reputation.”

  He sits up and pulls me from the bed then tosses me over his shoulder and carries me into his master bathroom. It still smells of sawdust, and the new gleam of fresh countertops and tile makes me smile. “This is beautiful.”

  “I finished it this morning.”

  “Did you stay up all night doing this?”

  He nods as he sets me on the countertop and discards the condom.

  “You wanted to go to the movies yesterday,” he says.

  “You were supposed to do this instead?”

  “No, I was supposed to go to the movies with the woman I’m in love with.” He starts the shower and then returns to me.

  “I’m still on the pill, M. We don’t need the condoms.”

  He cringes and shakes his head, glances down and then meets my gaze. “I haven’t been a saint, Meredith. I’ve always, always used condoms, but I won’t take any chances with you. We’ll use them until I see a doctor this week.”

  The thought of him with other women makes me want to claw someone’s eyes out, but I take a deep breath and remind myself of what I told him the other night on the pier. It’s been ten years.

  I haven’t been a saint either.

  “Okay,” I reply. “Starla required us to get check ups every year, and I haven’t had any partners since the last one. I’m good.”

  “You’re amazing and I don’t deserve you.”

  “This is probably true.”

  He laughs and wraps his arms around me, hugging me tight. His bare chest feels fantastic against my cheek and we stay like this for a long minute while we wait for the shower to heat up. When steam begins to fill the room, Mark helps me down and leads me into the gorgeous blue-tiled shower big enough to have a floor show in.

  “Did you plan to host parties in here?”

  “Just the two-person kind with you,” he replies and begins soaping me up with my brand of shower gel and a fresh shower puff.

  “You bought my shower gel? Pretty sure of yourself.”

  “Hopeful,” he says and draws circles over my belly and down over my bare pubis. I grab a washcloth and return the favor, loving the feel of his naked body beneath my hands.

  “Your body is incredible,” I murmur.

  “Glad you approve.”

  “I might never stop touching you.”

  “That’s the plan.”

  I grin up at him as he rinses us both off and suddenly his eyes turn hot again and he backs me up against the cool tile and kneels before me, lifts my left leg and throws it over his shoulder, opening me up to him.

  “I’m going to slip and fall.” I gasp.

  “I’ve got you,” he replies and watches my face as he slips his fingers through my lips. “God, Mer, you’re so fucking wet.”

  “You turn me on.” I grip his hair in my hands and hold on as he growls and leans in to tease my clit with his tongue and lips. He sinks two fingers inside me and wraps those lips around my clit and that’s all it takes, I come apart, crying out his name while leaning against the wall of the shower.

  He stands, flips the shower off and doesn’t even bother drying us off as he tugs me behind him back to the bed.

  “Um, Mark? I’m wet here.”

  “Fuck yes, you are,” he says and tosses me—tosses me!—onto the bed then spreads my legs wide and dives back in. “You taste so fucking good.” He’s lapping at my labia, licking every drop from me, then pushes his fingers back in and jerks them quickly, tipping me over another ledge into a mind-numbing orgasm.

  “Holy shit!”

  He licks and bites his way up my body, sheaths himself in a condom and plunges inside me, fast and hard.

  “Fuck, Mer,” he growls and begins pounding in and out of me. The sounds coming out of him are primal and gritty and I love this side of him as much as the man who made sweet love to me not thirty minutes ago.

  Suddenly, he pulls out and flips me over, yanks my hips up and plunges back inside me from behind, smacks my ass and rides me in earnest.

  Holy fucking hell, it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.

  “Mark, oh my God!”

  “Mine,” he growls and leans in to press his lips to my ear. “You are mine.”

  I grip the sheets in my fists and hold on for this wild ride with this crazy, amazing man.

  “Say it,” he commands.

  “Yours,” I reply breathlessly. “Always.”

  “Fuck yes, always.” He grips my hips and pounds into me for several long minutes then stops, balls-deep, and shouts as he comes hard, sending me over with him.

  “Jesus Christ, I won’t survive you,” he says breathlessly as he falls beside me in a heap.

  “That one was all you, babe,” I reply and crawl onto his chest. “Wow. You’re definitely better than fine.”

  “You’re magnificent,” he whispers and kisses my forehead. “I love you, M.”

  “I love you too.”

  ***

  I wake alone. It’s dark, still the middle of the night, and the bed is cold where Mark was lying.

  Where did he go?

  I wrap the sheet around me and set out to find him. The house is still, but when I glance out the window, his Jeep is still in the driveway.

  I search the whole house and come up empty, but then see a glow coming from the back yard. I open the French door to the patio and step out into the mild night to find Mark sitting on a chaise lounge, watching the flames in a brick fireplace.

  “What are you doing?” I ask and cross to him. He’s shirtless, clad only in loose sweats that hang in that way that show off the V muscles in his hips.

  Delicious.

  And just like that, I’m wide awake and my body is humming in anticipation.

  “I didn’t want to wake you. I couldn’t sleep.” He holds his hand out for me then pulls me into his lap. I snuggle up against him and watch the fire.

  “Aren’t you cold?”

  “I’m good,” he replies and kisses my head.

  “Why can’t you sleep?”

  He shrugs and I lean back to watch his face. “Mark?”

  “I just keep thinking that this is going to be a dream.” He chuckles ruefully and shakes his head. “I think I just lost my man card.”

  “I get it.” I wiggle out of his lap and shed the sheet, then tug his sweats down around his thighs, unleashing his thick erection before straddling him and sinking down onto him.

  “No condom.” He gasps and grips my hips as I rock back and forth slowly.

  “It’s fine,” I whisper and kiss him sweetly. “This is no dream, babe.”

  He closes his eyes and I lean my forehead on his as I ride him steadily. “This is you and me, M.”

  His mouth closes around my nipple and I throw my head back as the electricity zings down to my core, making me clench around him harder.

  He pushes a hand between us and circles my clit with his thumb, and I’m lost to him, biting my lip as I come around him.

  “Fuck,” he whispers and comes with me, then pulls me down to him, kissing me an
d holding me close. Finally, I rest my head on his chest, content to sit and watch the fire beside us.

  “It’s no dream. It’s better,” I say quietly.

  “So much better,” he agrees.

  Chapter Seven

  “Okay girls! It’s our favorite time! Free dance!” Jax announces and the girls in class clap and jump up and down. This is our older class, over fourteen, so Jax chooses a brand new Pitbull song and the girls begin to dance about the floor. The part the girls love the most about this time of class is that Jax and I join them, dancing with them as if we were at a school dance.

  Jax grabs my hand and spins me into his arms, then boosts me up into a lift and back down into another spin, making everyone cheer.

  He’s such a show-off.

  When the song is over, the girls change their shoes and gather their book bags and jackets, waving goodbye as they leave.

  “That Melissa is good,” Jax mentions as he locks the glass door.

  “She’s really good,” I agree and drop down in the chair behind the desk. “You should work with her one-on-one.”

  “Me? I thought that was your area.” He leans his hip on the desk and guzzles a bottle of water.

  “She responds well to you, and she doesn’t have a crush on you, so it would work well.”

  “I’m hurt that she doesn’t have a crush on me.” He pretends to pout. “I must be losing my touch.”

  “You’re getting old,” I tease him and laugh when he flips me off. “I’ll talk to her mom next week.”

  “Her mom will jump all over it,” he says with a shake of his head. “Some of the moms get more excited about it than the dancers do.”

  “My mom always loved watching me dance.” The pain is swift and sharp, settling heavy in my heart.

  “She would be so fucking proud of you, shortcake,” he says and pulls me in for a hug. “She was always proud, and seeing you start this studio made her glow with it.”

  “I’m glad she got to see it,” I say and blink hard against the tears that always threaten when we start talking about my mom. “She enjoyed watching the little ones dance.”

  “She enjoyed watching you teach them,” he replies softly.

  I bite my lip and stare up at my friend for a long minute and then decide fuck it, and let the tears come. “I miss her. Why do people I love die?”

  “I’m sorry,” he says as he pulls me into his arms and rocks me back and forth.

  “You can’t die on me,” I cry and bury my face in his chest. “I tried to shake you off years ago, but you wouldn’t leave, so you can’t die on me.”

  “Silly woman, thinking you could shake me off. I showed you.” He tips my face up and wipes my cheeks dry with his thumbs. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Okay.” I nod and take a deep calming breath. “Thank you for tolerating my hysteria.”

  “I’m used to it.” I glare and punch him in the arm.

  “Ow! I’m also used to the violence.” He rubs his arm and doesn’t look me in the eye when he says, “Going out with Mark again tonight?”

  “We had planned to.” I check my phone and smile when I see a text from him.

  What are you wearing?

  “So you won’t be home again tonight?” His face is neutral, but his voice sounds annoyed.

  “Are you keeping score? I doubt you’ve been home much more than I have since you’ve been seeing your new guy.”

  “I’m home more than you know,” he says.

  “Who is this guy, by the way?”

  He shrugs and takes another drink of water.

  “Why don’t you want to talk about him? We always talk about who we’re dating.”

  “Like you’ve been talking to me about Mr. Hot Tamale?”

  “That’s not fair. I haven’t seen you.”

  “That’s my point, Cherry Garcia.”

  “What do you have against Mark? He never did anything wrong in the first place.”

  “It feels like you’re moving fast. I heard you tell him that you love him over the phone yesterday. Are you sure he has good intentions? Maybe he’s got some vindictive plan to hurt you so he can get retribution for you dumping him back in the day.”

  “Uh, hello, drama queen.” I shake my head in exasperation. “No, I don’t think that.”

  “I’m just saying it’s a possibility.”

  “You don’t know him, Jax. He’s not like that.”

  “Okay, it’s your heart.” He shrugs and moves to walk away, but I stand and stop him.

  “I know it’s fast,” I admit and chew my lip as he stands and watches me with worried eyes. “You think I don’t know it? It’s scaring the shit out of me.”

  “If he’s pressuring you into something…”

  “Oh, get real.” I roll my eyes and shake my head. “No one pressures me into anything. You know that better than anyone. I don’t feel pressured, I feel… drawn to him. I can’t stop it. It’s stronger than it was when we were teenagers, and it’s not just the sex, although, hello, the man has sure as hell honed that skill, and he was good ten years ago.”

  “Oh good. That’s exactly what I want to hear about, your sex life.”

  “Am I making a mistake? Am I letting myself fall back into love with him and setting myself up for heartbreak when it all falls apart?”

  “Why is it going to fall apart?”

  “Why wouldn’t it?”

  “Boy, we’re both pretty cynical, aren’t we?” He smirks and then runs his hand down my ponytail. “As long as you’re on the same page, don’t walk away from him. I watched you pine for him for years. If this is your time to be together, reach for it, Mer.”

  “Wow, that’s very romantic coming from you.”

  He laughs and backs away. “Or just fuck him until you have him out of your system and kick him to the curb, but I don’t see that happening this time.”

  Neither do I.

  “Either way, keep me posted.” His smile fades and he checks his phone. “I have to go.”

  “Don’t walk away, Jax. Something is off with you this week. Is it this Mr. Lovey Pants you’re seeing?”

  He busts out laughing and then pulls me into a big hug. “Mr. Lovey Pants?”

  “What’s going on?”

  He sighs and kisses my head then pulls away and sits on the desk, swinging his feet. “His name is Logan. I thought it would be a quick fuck, as usual, but it’s… not.” He shrugs as if he’s at a complete loss, and I take his hand in mine and squeeze.

  “What is it?”

  “Hell if I know. The sex is crazy. He’s thoughtful and nice and I stayed the night with him. Twice.”

  “Wow,” I reply with raised brows. “That’s very un-Jax.”

  “Yeah, you’re usually the only one I like to cuddle with.” He grins and tweaks my nose with his fingertip then his face sobers. “It’s been hard to slide into second place on your priority list.”

  I blink at him in surprise. “Do you think that’s what’s happened since I’ve been back with Mark? I’ve been sleeping with him less than a week.”

  “That is what’s happened, cheesecake. But it would have happened sooner or later, no matter who you’re seeing. I get it. It just doesn’t feel good.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I love you, Jax. You’re always going to be important to me, no matter what.”

  “I know. I’m stuck with you. It’s a burden I bear bravely.”

  I laugh and shake my head at him, but I can’t help but feel guilty. I haven’t spent any time with Jax outside of being at the studio, and we’re always working when we’re here.

  “Do you have plans with Logan tonight?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well I’ll tell you what. I’ll cancel with Mr. Hot Tamale and you’ll cancel with Mr. Lovey Pants and you and I will go get mani/pedi’s.”

  He looks surprised for a moment, then tosses his head back and forth like he’s contemplating my offer. “Hmm, hot sex or mani/pedi’s. That’s a tou
ghie.”

  “If you’re good, we can go home and eat ice cream and watch Pretty Woman.”

  “I’m not that much of a girl,” he replies, offended. “We’ll watch Pitch Perfect.”

  “Not that much of a girl, huh.” He flips me off again and I laugh. “Go call Logan.”

  He hugs me and grins down at me. “Thank you.”

  “If you don’t beat me to the Blu-ray player, I’m putting in Pretty Woman.”

  “You’re a bitch.”

  “Absolutely.”

  He laughs and pulls his phone out of his pocket as he walks away. I lift my own phone and dial Mark’s number.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” he answers.

  “Well hello there,” I reply with a grin. “Hey, I have to cancel on you tonight.”

  “Cheating on me already?” he asks with a laugh.

  “Yes. I’m so relieved you understand.”

  “Wait. I don’t like this game anymore.”

  I chuckle and throw my sunglasses and scarf into my handbag. “Jax has some stuff going on, and he kind of misses me, so he and I are going to have GGN tonight.”

  “What is GGN?”

  “Gay Girl Night.”

  Mark laughs in earnest over the phone for several seconds before clearing his throat and saying, “What, exactly, does that involve?”

  “The spa, ice cream and chick flicks.”

  “Have fun,” he says quickly, as though he’s afraid I might invite him along.

  “Sorry for the short notice. Rain check?”

  “No problem. Why don’t I bring you coffee in the morning?”

  “Jax and I have an early rehearsal tomorrow. We’re gearing up for the LA trip. I have a break before the first class at about 9:30, but you’ll be at work by then.”

  “I’ll take a break. That’s one of the perks of being the boss.”

  I grin and feel my stomach tighten at the tone of his voice. “I’d like that.”

  “See you then, sweetheart.”

  “Bye.” I hang up just as Jax returns from our changing room. “Ready?”

  “Let’s go.” He holds the door open for me, locks it behind us and takes my hand as we walk down the street to the nail place.