Shattering the Myth

  His name was Xander, and he called me the same night Tamlyn gave him my digits. He was all about the nana and couldn’t wait to fuck me, sight unseen. I asked him did he get freaky with strangers often. His only reply was asking when his tongue could touch mine. Tamlyn told me he was fine and all. She even described him to me, and he sounded delicious, so when he related the fantasy over the phone he wanted me to help him out with, I told him I was down. Besides, his voice alone had my pussy feenin.

  The sexual-prime theory must be true, because the day after I turned thirty, my pussy gained a mind of its own. I was daydreaming about dick all the time, masturbating every dayum day, and began asking myself one question: If I can’t wake up to a bagel with cream cheese and a stiff dick, why wake up at all?

  I arranged to meet Xander at a hotel of his choice the very next day during my lunch hour, and it was to be a quickie. Since I was still a bit hesitant, I figured meeting him on my lunch hour was the safest bet. I could always use the excuse of having to get back to work as an easy out.

  When I arrived at the cozy downtown hotel a few blocks from my office, I saw no one that fit his description in sight. A male desk clerk asked was my name Jocelyn. I told him it was. He gave me a room key, informing me that my husband asked that I meet him in the room upstairs.

  Once I reached the room, he wasn’t there. I began to get a slight sense of fear in my heart. There were a bottle of chilled champagne and some flute glasses on the table with a dozen roses. There was also a blindfold on the table and a note. The note read: “Welcome! Drink some champagne and then blindfold yourself within the next five minutes so I can come in. No cheating!”

  I wasn’t surprised to see the blindfold; Xander and I had discussed it on the phone. However, I thought he planned to blindfold me after we met, not before. He really wanted to take the blind date idea to an extreme.

  I drank some champagne. It was nice and cold. Afterward, I sat on the edge of the bed and put on the blindfold tightly. I couldn’t see a thing. My knees were trembling. I had never come close to doing anything of that nature before. I figured, if nothing else, I would gain an interesting memory to hang onto in my old age when my fucking years were far behind me.

  No sooner had I sat down on the bed than I heard footsteps approaching the room in the hallway. I could hear him whistling as he unlocked the door with the card key. When he entered the room, so did the sensuous aroma of his cologne. Then, I heard the familiar voice from the phone say, “Hello Jocelyn. What’s up?”

  I gave the typical reply of the ’90s: “Just chillin’.”

  Xander said, “Cool,” and I could feel the bed sink down some beside me as he sat down. He was so close to me, I could feel his breath on my cheek when he said, “Tamlyn was right. You’re an extremely beautiful woman, Jocelyn.”

  I replied by saying, “Thanks, but you have me at a disadvantage. Other than the description she gave me, I have no idea what you really look like. Can I take off the blindfold for a second?”

  He came back quickly with a resounding “NO!” Then he lowered his voice again and said, “This is all part of my fantasy. Having a woman make love to me who has never seen me before. Once we are done, I will make sure you see me. I promise! Is that cool?”

  I started to take the blindfold off and tell him I was leaving, but a part of me was enjoying the whole mystery man scenario. I told him it was cool, and he asked me to lie back on the bed with my head on a pillow. I complied and heard him get up and start walking around.

  The hotel was pretty quiet. It was early afternoon, and most people hadn’t even checked in for the night. I could hear the faint noise of horns blowing on the busy city street five floors below. Xander came back to the bed and turned on the small alarm clock radio on the nightstand beside the bed. I could hear him turning the tuning dial until he came upon a station playing soft music.

  I decided I should make him aware of my time constriction once more. “Don’t forget I have to be back at work by one, so please tell me when it is getting close.”

  Xander said, “Don’t worry! This won’t take long!”

  I wondered when he was going to get started doing whatever he was going to do, and then I started wondering if he was a lousy fuck or something—a two-minute brother. He didn’t seem worried about the time at all. While I was lying there, letting all those thoughts flash through my mind, suddenly I smelled the essence of a rose.

  He put the rose up to my nose and used it to trace a path down to my chin, then my neck, and around my nipples. He told me to hold the rose and placed it in my left hand. I could feel him straddle me and begin to unbutton my blouse. He pulled my breasts out of the cups of my bra and started rubbing my nipples around between his thumbs and forefingers.

  Xander told me he wanted to see me naked and helped me get completely undressed. I was beginning to feel more comfortable. There was something about him that seemed all too familiar to me. A feeling that maybe I had known him in another life. It was very strange.

  Once I was nude, I realized that at least half my lunch hour must have expired by that time. I contemplated the fact that, if he didn’t hurry up, there would be no fucking at all. Once again, I told him we needed to hurry up. He told me to relax again and not to worry. Then he asked me to turn over on my stomach.

  He straddled himself over the back of my thighs, and I could sense him reaching for something off the nightstand. A few seconds later, I felt something cold trickling down my back and recognized the sensation right away. It was some sort of lotion. Xander began to rub the lotion into my skin with the expertise of a masseuse. He started by digging his fingers gently into the small of my back, moving outward to the sides of my stomach and all the way up until he reached my shoulders. He gave me a wonderful shoulder massage, then proceeded to pour some more lotion, but this time onto my ass cheeks. He massaged my ass for me and moved down to my thighs. It felt so relaxing that I almost fell asleep.

  I could feel him get off me and sit down at the foot of the bed. He poured some more lotion, massaged my calves, and then gave me a foot massage that made me want to say, “I love you!”

  Xander told me to turn over, and I quickly complied, figuring it was time to get busy. Instead, he massaged the whole front of my body. He started from my feet and worked his way upward to my hips and to my stomach. When he poured lotion in my belly button, it made me flinch and bite my bottom lip, since I am ticklish. He massaged both my arms and then, once again, caressed my breasts with the added sensation of lotion the second time around.

  He asked me, “Are you enjoying yourself?” All I could manage to do was nod yes. I thought he would somehow disappear if I responded, and the dream would end. He told me to spread my legs, and I did.

  With the most gentle hands I had ever felt, he reached inside my vagina with a single finger, pulled it back toward the lips of my pussy like a person motioning for someone to come there, and located the spongy area beneath my pelvic bone that most men live their entire lives and never find. He caressed my G spot with such tenderness, I not only came but also literally squirted out of my pussy like a man.

  Never before had that ever happened to me. I had heard of women squirting when they cum, but I never, in a million years, imagined it would happen to me. I moaned so loud and my body trembled so much, I thought I might have a seizure. I was still recovering from what had just happened when Xander gave me one single kiss on my lips and said, “Don’t move! I will be right back!”

  I assumed he was going to the bathroom to get me a towel until I heard the door to the hotel room open and shut quickly. At that moment, I was utterly confused. I didn’t know whether to take the blindfold off and leave or wait for him to come back. I couldn’t imagine a man arranging a midday meeting with a stranger in a hotel room just to give her a full-body massage and see her cum. I figured he was coming back, and I didn’t give a shit about the time anymore. I would call the office and take the rest of the day off if need be. I wanted to fuck th
e man so bad, more than I had ever wanted to be with a man before in my life.

  My desires were shattered when the telephone in the room rang with a loud blare, startling me. I reached around for it on the nightstand, but couldn’t find it. I ripped the blindfold off by the third ring and picked it up. It was the desk clerk, informing me that my “husband” had to leave and had left a written message for me at the front desk.

  I looked at the clock radio and saw it was ten minutes to one. I hurriedly got dressed and caught the elevator down to the lobby. The clerk handed me the note, probably noticing that my clothes were not as neatly put on as they were when he handed me the room key less than an hour earlier.

  The note read, “Jocelyn, thank you for the lovely afternoon. I hope you enjoyed yourself, because I sure did. A woman like you deserves to be treated like a queen every day of your life, and like I said, I promise you will see me. I just didn’t tell you when it will happen, but it will be sooner than you think.”

  The rest of the day at work, I was no good. I kept trying to reach Tamlyn at her office, but her secretary kept saying she was in a meeting. I got the distinct feeling she was avoiding me. There was something strange about the whole thing. Why would a man do such a thing? Then again, why would I meet a stranger in a hotel room to fuck him?

  I went out to happy hour with some friends from work that evening. Once I left the bar, I decided to swing by Tamlyn’s house and see if she was home. When I got there, I saw her car, but there was also another car in her driveway. I hesitated about going to the door. I thought she might be getting her freak on with a new man but decided, since she had been a friend since first grade, she would just have to forgive my ass if that was the case. I had to know what the hell was going on, and I had to know how to get in touch with Xander. I had fallen hopelessly in love with a mystery man.

  I knocked on her front door and heard a bunch of rambling around inside, and voices talking low. I was beginning to turn around and leave. I figured I was right about her getting freaky and didn’t want to disturb them. Suddenly, the door flung open. Tamlyn said, “Hey, Sis!”

  I told her I really needed to talk, and she told me to come in. When I entered her living room, there was indeed a man there, but it was her baby brother, Phillip. I had not seen him in about seven years since he joined the military. The last time I saw him he was eighteen, tall, lanky, and looked like a nerd. The man standing before me in Tamlyn’s living room was tall, dark, handsome, built like an Adonis, and far from the nerd of the past.

  Even though he had changed drastically, I immediately recognized him and rushed to give him a hug before he could say a word. He didn’t need to say a word. I knew the moment I hugged him. The scent of his cologne was a dead giveaway. His breath on my cheek was all too familiar. When he finally did speak, it was not in the wimpy voice of baby brother Phillip but the sexy, deep voice of Xander. All he said at first was, “I never told you my middle name, did I?”

  By the time I turned around to confront Tamlyn, she was headed out the front door. When her car started up and pulled out the driveway a few seconds later, I was still standing there gawking at him. I was in a state of shock. No wonder he felt so familiar. No wonder I felt comfortable around him. He was the baby brother of my best friend in life, and he had turned my ass out in the span of a lunch hour.

  I sat down on the couch. More like fainted. He sat beside me and took my hand. “Look, Jocelyn, whatever you do, don’t blame Tamlyn. This is all my doing! I asked her to set me up with you because I have always been in love with you. Ever since I was about ten years old and first started thinking about girls in that way. You were older, though, and wouldn’t have shit to do with me. The whole time I was away, no matter who I was with, all I could ever think about was you. Now that I am back in town to stay, I wanted the opportunity to show you I am a man now. I thought the hotel thing was the only way.”

  I just looked at him in disbelief and couldn’t utter a word. He continued, “If I had come to you and asked you out, you would have refused, if for no other reason than who I am. It wouldn’t have mattered if you were attracted to me now or that I have changed a lot. You still would have seen me as Little Phillip. I wanted you to know how much I feel for you, how much I desire you, how much I want to make you mine.”

  I can’t possibly explain what happened at that moment. The tears just started flowing. They were tears of joy, and that night, Phillip and I made love for the first time. It was the single most meaningful experience of my life, and every day since then, Phillip has treated me like a queen.

  Tamlyn and I are closer than ever. In fact, she will be the maid of honor in my wedding to Phillip next month. What started out as a quest to let go of my sexual inhibitions and test the sexual-prime theory turned into the adventure of a lifetime. Instead of making a memory I can think about when I become an old lady whose fucking years are way behind her, Phillip and I have one hell of a story to tell our grandchildren on the porch one day. There is a hell of a lot to be said for blind dates.

  Vacation of a Lifetime

  I arrived in the Bahamas at approximately 11 A.M. having taken the six-hour cruise from Fort Lauderdale upon the Sea Escape. The cruise had been very relaxing—good food, great entertainment, and a nice casino—yet depressing all the same. I was so fucking upset at Kevin for canceling out on me at the last minute because of some dayum business conference in Chicago. I told him to fuck off and decided to take the vacation all by myself. I thought it would be cool, vacationing all alone, until I got aboard the ship and saw all the people paired off or traveling with little kids. There were a few groups of females traveling together, but none of them seemed friendly enough to approach, so I stayed to myself. They sat me at a table with this elderly white couple at the first breakfast sitting in the dining hall, and after that, I just put my sarong and halter top on and laid out on the admiral deck on a lounger until the ship was about to dock.

  I had to wait about an hour to retrieve my luggage because they were so slow unloading the large racks from the ship. Customs was pretty quick, but I had to wait quite some time for a cab because everyone had to catch them to their respective hotels. I finally arrived at the Bahamas Princess Country Club around 1 P.M. I was exhausted by the time I checked in and got to my room. It had been a long day. The shuttle left the hotel at 4 A.M. for the dock, and I had only checked into the hotel in Fort Lauderdale about 1 A.M. Needless to say, I was worn the hell out.

  The one thing that did cheer me up was how nice the hotel was—beautiful rooms, nice restaurants, and a bad-ass pool with a cascading waterfall. I took a long bath in some aromatherapy bath beads. My mom had given them to me for my birthday six months before, but I had never used them. Afterward, I flipped through Essence magazine when I was done soaking and then decided to draw the curtains and take a quick nap. I always need noise to sleep, so I turned on the television. Lo and behold, Oprah was on.

  I tried to fall asleep, but couldn’t because I was horny as all hell, so I did what comes naturally. I masturbated my ass off, came a few good times, and then fell off to sleep.

  Boy, was I tired! I slept until almost 7 P.M. and felt vigorously refreshed when I woke up. I decided it was time for me to dump the fucked-up attitude, stop worrying about Kevin’s skank ass, and have a great time—even if it killed me. I put on this banging two-piece black outfit with a tight crop top and a long slim skirt with a slit going up the back along with some black three-inch heel slides and decided to go check out the scenery.

  They were having an all-you-can-eat barbecue by the pool. I decided to jump on it and was glad I did. The ribs and corn on the cob were slamming. I washed it all down with a Bahama Mama and was feeling a little buzz when this fine-ass Bahamian approached me and asked could he take my picture. I had been scoping his ass out all night while he worked his way through the crowd, taking photos and clocking dollars. I told him to go for it, and he snapped a quick shot of me holding the remains of my drink. While the pict
ure was developing, I asked him how much the photo cost and was reaching for my purse, but he said that mine was on the house. He told me that he should pay me to take my picture because I was so beautiful. I began to blush. I was flattered—not to mention that his accent was turning me on.

  I began to take a real good look at him. His fine face was obvious, but it was time to check out the rest. All I could think to myself was, dayum, dayum, dayum. The man had a body that looked like it was chiseled out of stone, deep chocolate skin, and beautiful everything else. Simply put, the man was all that, a bag of chips, a Popeye’s three-piece, and a pack of Bubblicious. I knew right then that I had to have him. He could definitely get it.

  What else is a girl to do but flirt her ass off? For the next two hours, he forgot all about taking pictures, and I forgot where the hell I even was as we sat poolside and became better acquainted. His name was Joseph. That tripped me out. I was expecting some exotic-sounding name from an island man, but it was Joseph just the same.

  I made a couple of dick-size glances throughout the evening. I came to the conclusion that the brother was hung like a fucking horse. I could tell even with his pants on, and I could hardly wait to ride that sucker until the saddle broke. The reggae band was playing this bumping-ass song. He asked me to dance, so we hit the floor. I decided it was the time to make a move. While we danced with our bodies grinding up against each other, I just happened to mention in passing that I was uncomfortable because my black thong bikinis were riding up my ass. He said, “So take them off.” I asked him, “Right here?” and he said, “Sure, why not?” I was still a bit tipsy, so I thought to myself, “Fuck it!” I lifted up my skirt right there on the dance floor, until it was right above my thighs, and then pulled my thongs off. Everyone was looking, but I didn’t give a shit. He took them out of my hand, sniffed them, closed his eyes as he savored the sweet aroma, and then put them in the pocket of the white pants he was wearing with an island-print shirt.