Avery (Random Romance)

  ‘What?’ he pressed.

  ‘Nothing!’ I snapped. ‘Shit.’

  ‘Then why are you in my bedroom?’

  ‘That’s a damn good question,’ I muttered and stormed for the balcony before I did something I’d regret forever.

  He moved to block my path, and as I tried to brush past him he grabbed hold of my arm. ‘Ambrose—!’

  ‘Don’t touch me!’ I hissed, pulling away from him quickly.

  ‘Whoa, okay – calm down,’ Avery said slowly, his eyebrows arched. ‘Now who’s tightly wound?’

  ‘I just … I’m tired.’

  There was silence between us, and then, ‘I know,’ he said very quietly, his voice different to how I’d known it to be – softer, and filled with something so knowing, so aware, that I— ‘I know you are, Ambrose. You’re allowed to be. You carry a great deal.’

  I swallowed, overwhelmed. That was the first time he’d ever spoken to me with anything resembling tenderness. There it was, clear in his voice as though he was a real friend – someone who actually knew me and cared about me. The world, I realised, did not carry many moments like these. Soft moments. Or, my world didn’t. I’d never had parents to speak to me kindly. My brother was a monster half the time. No one had ever made me feel taken care of like Avery had with those few, simple words.

  That’s when I knew I didn’t care anymore if he was a boy – not in the slightest. I wanted to be around him, be with him, in every way and all the time.

  ‘See you around, pretty boy,’ I said, reaching out to touch his shoulder once, very briefly. Then I left him alone because I knew he needed to be, and I wanted to give him all that he needed.

  Ava

  I stared after Ambrose for quite a while after he left, feeling worried about him, which was a strange sensation. It had been a long time since I’d worried about anyone other than myself. They didn’t let me out for any ‘daylight privileges’, so I sat on the balcony for most of the day, wanting to tear my hair out with boredom and trying to make plans. I had to think about how to get off this island, and then how to approach another attack on the fortress. I had failed at it twice before, so this time I clearly needed to come up with something different.

  ‘Are you as bored as I am?’ a deep voice drifted down to me.

  I smiled. ‘More.’

  ‘Not possible – I’ve been counting the cracks in the marble for two hours.’

  ‘How many are there?’

  ‘One hundred and twelve. This place is pretty run down.’

  My smile widened. I could just imagine him up there with his nose pressed to the floor, searching all afternoon, counting under his breath. ‘Didn’t they give you any books?’

  ‘No – did you get books?’

  ‘Plenty, but I can’t focus long enough to read any of them.’

  ‘That’s an outrage. Bring some up for me.’

  ‘Why should I do that?’

  ‘Because under that surly, shitty front, you’re actually a very sweet person, Avery.’

  I grabbed a few books, then swung up onto his balcony. ‘I am not sweet.’

  Ambrose smiled. ‘You are – you just don’t know it yet.’

  A blush threatened to creep into my cheeks so I glanced away. He took the books from my hands and flicked through them, making funny little noises as he flipped past the pages and read small bits. I watched his face as his eyes narrowed in concentration, absently biting his bottom lip.

  ‘They’re all about Kaya,’ I said.

  He grunted.

  ‘Probably very distasteful to you.’

  As he belatedly processed my words, he looked up at me. ‘Not at all.’

  ‘Doesn’t it make you uncomfortable to read about people you’ve set your life to killing?’

  Ambrose met my eyes. ‘Don’t take us back to that place. You know me better than that.’

  ‘Do I really? Then tell me – what is it that you’ve set your life to?’

  ‘Nothing. Why must I—?’

  ‘Because you are a prince. You have the power to make change and you waste it.’

  He smiled coldly. ‘And what power do you think I have from inside this prison?’

  ‘You and I both know that these walls won’t hold you for long, Ambrose. You’re a lot stronger than all this cracked marble.’

  ‘What exactly are you saying, Avery? What change do you believe the second prince can make, when he is nothing compared to his mother and brother?’

  ‘Nothing?’ My mouth fell open. ‘Gods, Ambrose, don’t you know that you are—’

  The door to his room unlocked and Hannah entered with a tray of food. She stopped when she saw me, her eyes widening worriedly. ‘You shouldn’t be here!’

  ‘It’s all right, Hannah,’ I said curtly, wanting her gone.

  ‘You can’t be here,’ Hannah said more firmly. ‘I’ll have to notify the guards.’

  Before I could intervene, Ambrose strode over to her, grabbed her by the throat, pushed her gently against the wall and murmured, ‘Keep your mouth shut, girl, or I’ll slam that pretty face of yours into your precious marble walls, and then we’ll see who’ll want to bond with you.’

  Hannah went white with shock and Ambrose shoved her towards the door. Once she’d stumbled out, he turned back to me, expressionless and unbothered. I froze. Something inside me hardened – changed. It was one thing to treat me like dirt – I was a criminal in his eyes and deserved punishment, besides which, I antagonised the crap out of him and could take anything he doled out. But to viciously frighten an innocent person like Hannah? My skin crawled.

  ‘Avery,’ he started, then faltered at the thunderous expression on my face.

  ‘How dare you?’ I hissed. ‘How could you speak to someone like that?’

  ‘Avery,’ he snapped, eyeing me irritably. ‘Did you want her to tell the guards? I’m sure they’d make it pleasant for us once they knew how easily we can get in and out of our rooms.’

  ‘You’re a cruel, arrogant pig, and I’m disgusted by you.’

  His eyes shone furiously. ‘They were just words! I barely touched her!’

  ‘I know you. They weren’t just words – you wanted to hurt her.’

  ‘Oh, for Gods’ sakes,’ he snarled suddenly. ‘She’s just a girl. Why do you care?’

  ‘Just a girl?’

  I felt suddenly as though I had found my footing after years of treading water. Hannah’s words vibrated through my mind: It seems to me the deepest betrayal of our sex to hide yourself the way you do.

  I looked into his beautiful, pale eyes and I said softly, ‘Can’t you see me, Ambrose? Open your eyes and look – really look at me.’

  He frowned, staring. He didn’t understand – he was completely blinded.

  So, with Hannah’s words in mind, I reached up and began to undo the pins in my hair. My hands were shaking and I fumbled, but soon my thick blond locks had fallen down around my face, all the way to the small of my back.

  Ambrose was stunned. He watched, transfixed, confused, still oblivious.

  Drawing the deepest breath I could, I undid the buttons of my nightshirt and dropped it to the ground. Then I unwound the cloth from my chest until it too was gone, and I stood completely naked in front of a man from Pirenti.

  Ambrose

  There was a woman standing before me. She had appeared out of nowhere and torn me asunder. The boy in the room was transformed before my very eyes, and I felt myself changed forever.

  ‘My name is Ava,’ the stranger in the room said; I couldn’t breathe.

  I thought for a brief moment that I was hallucinating, but I kept blinking and she kept being a woman. But this was supposed to be my pretty boy, my friend and companion – the boy I’d respected and understood more than anyone else in the world. The boy who’d rowed all night and skinned a stag on his own. The boy who never backed down, never gave up, the boy … the boy I’d beaten. This didn’t make any sense – it didn’t make sense. I felt queas
y, because there it was – the huge dark bruise that covered her ribs – physical proof of my blind, dumb violence.

  Gods, I was as bad as my brother.

  I closed my eyes, swallowing the bile in my throat, then forced them open to try to see her, just as she’d asked me to. Her golden hair was thick and lovely, and hung like a halo around her. My eyes travelled over her long, slender neck, her fine shoulders, the small, round breasts, the slim waist and curved hips. She was too skinny, but she was strong, too. Her muscles were hard and toned – I could see the lines of them perfectly. She was more beautiful than any girl I’d ever seen. And her face … it now seemed deeply, horribly obvious. The prettiness, the fine bone structure and full lips – the incredible depth to those purple eyes. It was a depth I’d thought was unique to Avery because I’d never seen it in another man’s eyes. Now I realised the depth came from the simple fact that she was a woman and she knew true things about the world.

  Desire kicked me in the guts, ravaging its way through my entire body. I sat down heavily on the bed, unable to tear my eyes from her. I wanted this woman so much I thought I might die. I’d never understood lust – real, debilitating lust – until this moment.

  ‘Just a girl,’ she said, and her voice sounded different – sweeter. The deception hit me full force and I felt like a child. ‘Do you want to bully me, too? Threaten to smash my face in? Is that what I deserve for being this?’

  I shook my head, letting it drop into my hands. ‘Shit,’ I whispered, over and over again. ‘How could you?’

  She didn’t appear remorseful in any way, instead she wore an expression I’d come to know well – she was cold and unforgiving. How fierce she seemed, this woman. ‘I didn’t want to be underestimated,’ she told me calmly. She’d got hold of her temper, but there was still so much rage in her – I could see it in the red tinge to her eyes.

  ‘It was all a lie then?’ I asked, standing and reining my heart back into my chest. ‘You’ve been deceiving me this whole time.’

  ‘I fail to understand how you could be surprised by this,’ she said coldly. ‘Think back to the man you were when first we met. You would have raped and beaten a criminal girl from Kaya and not thought twice about it.’

  ‘I’ve never raped a woman in my life,’ I growled. ‘You know that.’

  She tilted her head slightly, scrutinising me, as if making up her mind about the truth of my words. And Gods, how I wished that her answer didn’t matter so much, but it did. It mattered more than anything.

  ‘I’m not sure what I know about you,’ she murmured. ‘You’re complicated and difficult – too much so for me to understand.’

  My mouth fell open. ‘Me? How can you use those words when you are as impossible as those caves we found our way through? You’re a nightmare!’

  She licked her lips; my eyes locked onto her tongue. ‘You save guilty lives and threaten innocent ones.’

  I closed my eyes, sick with shame. I couldn’t bear this, couldn’t bear her eyes on me, knowing how I’d thought of her all this time. Sword, she must have delighted in my idiocy – so many days and nights spent in deception. I’d thought, throughout each one, that I was the one who’d held the power, but I’d been terribly wrong.

  ‘How you must have laughed,’ I murmured.

  She frowned, a line forming between her eyebrows.

  ‘Deceiving the idiot brute from Pirenti. When I told you my secrets, did you store them away for later? To regale your people with?’

  She – I couldn’t even bring myself to think her name – she shook her head. That long, long hair rustled. Desire humiliated me.

  ‘You were my best friend,’ I murmured, my voice cracking. ‘Gods, what a fool.’

  ‘Ambrose,’ she tried, stepping towards me.

  ‘Put your clothes on and get out.’

  She was breathing fast – I could see the rise and fall of her chest before I turned quickly away. She started to dress, doing up the buttons on her shirt. ‘Ambrose, it’s not like that. I would never—’

  ‘Get out of my room!’ I snarled. ‘Lying whore. I can’t stand to look at you.’

  The blood left her face; her lips were bone white. I saw the purple of her eyes shift to a strange silver colour that made everything about her seem colourless.

  And then she was gone, and I felt colourless too. I started to climb.

  Ava

  My hands wouldn’t stop shaking – I could barely get the buttons done up and then I nearly fell from the vines several times. I paced my room over and over, unable to sit, clueless as to how that scene had moved from my rage to his within the blink of an eye. I’d known he would react badly to me being a woman, but I’d never imagined that kind of betrayal in his eyes. Gods, I’d never imagined he would appear so broken.

  Lying whore. I felt sick, the words running around in my head. A soft cry of frustration left my mouth and I punched my fist straight into the mirror, shattering it. A spider web of cracks splintered through the glass, pieces of which stuck in my knuckles. A gasp sprang from my chest and I stumbled back, staring at my bloodied fist.

  That was when the shouting started. From outside the building, I could hear people yelling and screaming. My pack had been gone since he’d tackled me off Migliori, so I didn’t have my tools anymore. I scrabbled through the dresser with my uninjured hand, searching for something I could use. All the damn pins from my hair were still up on Ambrose’s floor, and I certainly wasn’t going up there again. I found a few hair tools in my drawer and used them to jiggle the lock on the door – twisting and turning and prodding as Gidion had taught me. It was damn hard with only one properly functioning hand, but eventually the door clicked open and I was free. People were running through the hallway, but they ignored me. I followed the stream of them outside onto the grand marble staircase. A crowd of onlookers were pointing worriedly at something and as I spun around to see what it was, my heart did a funny little skip in my chest.

  Ambrose was climbing the face of the building, his huge body swinging its way up with alarming agility. My first thought was that he was going to fall and kill himself – and those watching didn’t seem to care at all that he was in peril. They only cared that there was an enormous Pirenti soldier free in their island sanctuary.

  Marla was a few feet to the left, watching furiously. She barked an order to the guards who’d arrived, telling them to ready their bows.

  ‘Wait!’ I crossed to her side. ‘I can get him down – there’s no need to shoot.’

  ‘Who are you?’ she snapped.

  I realised I’d forgotten to pin up my hair. ‘Avery,’ I told her shortly. ‘I came here with him.’

  Marla looked at me properly, her eyes widening. ‘What in Gods’ names? You’re a woman?’

  ‘I can bring him down.’

  ‘So do it! He’s terrifying them.’

  ‘I’ll get him down if you agree to one thing for me.’

  Her eyes hardened to dark brown.

  ‘I want him allowed to leave his room for a few hours a day – daylight privileges. I’ll watch him the whole time – he won’t leave my side. You can post guards with us too.’

  ‘You want that monster allowed out?’ she exclaimed. ‘You’re out of your mind. I’d rather shoot him now.’

  ‘I can control him,’ I snapped. ‘I can get him back, and make him behave. If you shoot him you won’t have any leverage. I don’t think the Emperor will take kindly to you killing a prince of Pirenti without notifying him first.’

  Her gaze sharpened. ‘You’re a shifty one. What could you possibly know about the Emperor?’

  ‘More than you’d think,’ I muttered flatly.

  ‘Very well, do as you will. Get him down and I’ll see what I can organise.’

  ‘Is there inside access to the roof?’

  ‘Do you think we’d all be standing here gawking if there was?’

  I walked to the building, letting my eyes travel over the surface of the walls. I felt like
pretty much the stupidest woman in the world at this point – I’d just smashed up my hand, then claimed that I could climb several hundred feet of smooth marble and ‘control’ an angry Pirenti prince. Okay, I just had to focus. I had no idea what Ambrose was doing up there, but I didn’t want him to get shot. As soon as I started climbing, the pain grew bad. The glass shards were still embedded in my hand and every time I used it they sliced a little further into my flesh, but I needed to get to the top of this building. At the sight of him something hurt inside my chest and I didn’t know why.

  I was able to use the vines for most of the climb, which was straightforward enough, but when the vines ended I had to try and find cracks in the marble. My recently injured hand slipped a few times, causing me to crack my elbows and knees against the hard rock face in my scrabble for a hold.

  ‘What in Gods’ names are you doing?’ Ambrose shouted down. He’d made it to the roof and now I was the one in danger of falling – of course.

  I couldn’t answer – I needed all my concentration for this stupid climb.

  ‘Your left hand goes there,’ Ambrose ordered, pointing to a fissure a long way to the left.

  ‘Too far.’

  ‘It’s not. Put your left foot there and push off hard.’

  ‘I’m half your size – I don’t have the reach.’

  ‘It’s the only way up,’ he snapped. ‘Concentrate and do it.’

  I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. There was no fear, of course, but there was a strange kind of tightening around my heart, making it hard to breathe. Lying whore. My jaw clenched and I tried to push the words away. They ached – not because I cared about being called names, but because it was Ambrose who’d said them.

  I licked my lips and pushed off, stretching myself as far as I could and using the muscles in my legs to gain enough leverage. My left hand caught the fissure, slipped, jerked for a hold and pulled against my shoulder. A groan escaped me as I hung on for life, trying to find a foothold. I managed to get my toe into a crack and push myself up far enough that Ambrose could grab my bloodied hand and pull me onto the roof. I screamed as his palm crushed the glass further into my knuckles, then curled into a ball around my agonised fist.