Total Eclipse of the Heart

  “She’ll never love you like me,” Carleigh whispered.

  “Honestly, I doubt that she’ll even give me the time of day, at this point. I should probably leave her alone. I can’t run back and forth into her life. It’s not fair.”

  “Then stay with me.” Carleigh grabbed my leg and tried to pull me back down with her. “I’ll change, Damon. I promise.”

  “You apologized for the birth control before. You knew how much a baby meant to me. I can’t forgive you.” I paused. “I can forgive you, I guess, but I can never be with you. Not ever again.”

  “We can go to therapy.”

  “Therapy can’t fix this. You’ve robbed me of years of fatherhood, Carleigh. How is therapy going to help?” I pulled her hand off my leg. “Maybe Arnold doesn’t want children. The two of you can ride off into the sunset together.”

  Carleigh stood up and stared into my eyes. “If I tell you the truth about Arnold and me, can we work this out?”

  I clamped my eyes shut. She did fuck him! “It doesn’t matter what happened between you two. Not at this point. I’d rather not hear about your dirt.”

  “It only happened once. Just once.” Carleigh ran her fingertips over my chest. “It was a moment of weakness and I should’ve known better. You’ve been so distant since your accident and you spend so much time on those websites. Then you started staying out late, probably with her, and I didn’t know what to do.”

  “You started staying out first. Remember that?”

  “Because it seemed like the life was sucked right out of you after the accident. You blamed me for—”

  “Carleigh …” I grabbed her hands into mine and gazed at her. “Believe me when I say that never once did I blame you. The woman behind the wheel caused all of this. And she’s paying for her mistakes.”

  “So you can forgive her, but not me?” Carleigh asked with much sarcasm. “That’s just lovely.”

  “Like I said before, I can forgive you. It’s going to take time, but I can do it. What I can’t do is continue to live a lie, in this house, with you.”

  “I guess you want me to move out!”

  “No, you can keep the house. I’ll move.”

  She faced the wall and started banging on it with her fists. “You shouldn’t have to move out of your own home. I’m the one who fucked up.”

  I found myself rubbing her lightly on the back. “I don’t hate you. And this was our home; the place for us to build a life together. I couldn’t stay here without you. If you want, we can sell it and split the equity, or you can stay. That’s up to you.”

  She turned to face me. “I can’t believe we’re even standing here discussing this. We made love last night and now this. Things changed so fast!”

  “That’s the strange thing about life, but it’s also what makes it exciting. None of us ever knows what tomorrow brings.”

  “I never thought it would bring this; that’s for damn sure.” She grabbed at me, overwrought with emotions, but I pulled away. “I don’t want to be with Arnold, and I don’t want to be alone. Please stay. We can make this work. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

  “You’ll be fine,” I whispered to her. “You’ll be fine.”

  I started down the hallway and Carleigh yelled after me, “You’re going to be with her, aren’t you?”

  Without turning around I replied, “I don’t know.”

  In truth I didn’t know what would happen between Brooke and me. I had to reach out to her, to see where she was in life. After the way I’d dismissed her from my life, she had every right to ignore me. But I had to try. I had to try.

  Brooke

  October 31, 2008

  PETRIFIED. That is the only way I could describe what I felt as I stood on the other side of Damon’s hotel room at the Grand Hyatt in Washington, D.C. When he had called out of the blue, I didn’t know what to think. At first, I was not going to answer, but I caught the call right before it went to my voice mail. He hadn’t said much, just that he needed to see me right away and where he was. Then he said, “If you don’t want to come, I’ll understand.” He hung up without another word.

  I’d paced the floor at Destiny’s for a good two hours, thinking about Damon and also thinking about Patrick. Even though the words had gone unspoken, I could read between the lines. If I went to that hotel room, Damon and I would make love. Then a part of his spirit would remain with me forever, even more so than it did already.

  There were no other options for me. I loved Damon, so I went to him.

  I rapped lightly on the door. He must have been lying in wait because he yanked it open before my hand was back down at my side.

  He smiled at me and looked me up and down. I was wearing a simple black dress and it fit me nicely. I was still not exercising on the regular, but that good old stress had continued to work its magic.

  “Come in,” he said, then moved to the side.

  The room looked as if he’d been in it for a while; not just a night. There were several bags, his computer, and papers. I wondered what was really going on.

  “I’m glad that you came.” He walked over to the minibar and unscrewed a bottle of orange juice. “You thirsty?”

  “No, I’m fine. Thanks.”

  He joined me on the sofa, after I’d taken a seat. For a few moments, we simply stared at each other, both of us struggling for words.

  “So how has life been treating you?” he finally asked. “You look great.”

  “Life has been … life. What more can I say?”

  “I don’t want you to think that I called you here to play games, Brooke.”

  “You’d never play games with me, Damon. You’re a good man.”

  He set his juice down and clasped his hands together. “I try to be … a good man. It doesn’t seem to make a difference some of the time.”

  “That doesn’t mean you should ever change.” I took his hand. “Don’t ever change.”

  “Are you back with him? Patrick. You’re seeing him again, aren’t you?”

  “Is it that obvious?” I shifted in my seat. “I’m not living with him, or anything like that, but after …”

  “After I hurt you.”

  “You didn’t hurt me intentionally, Damon, and I understand that. In many ways, I set myself up to be hurt. Despite the connection that I felt to you, I shouldn’t have let my feelings grow so deep. I was more disappointed than anything, but that was to be expected. You’re a married man and I’m not cut out to be a mistress.”

  “No, you’re not, nor should you be one.”

  I sighed and crossed my legs. “What are we doing here? Why’d you ask me to come?”

  Damon sat back and stared at the ceiling for a moment. “You should go. I have no right to do this to you.”

  “Do what?”

  “You’re trying to work things out with him, and it’s not fair for me to ask you to give that up; not after the way I treated you.”

  I was totally confused. “But you’re working things out with Carleigh.” He stared at me and I read between the lines. “Aren’t you?”

  Damon shook his head. “No, I left Carleigh three weeks ago.” He glanced around the room. “I’ve been here ever since.”

  Speechless, I put my elbow on the armrest of the sofa and sheltered my eyes with my hand until …

  … he touched me. He touched my leg and it sent a shiver down my spine.

  “She cheated on me, and she continued to take birth control behind my back. She made the decision for me to be childless, and I can’t forget about that; not again.”

  I grabbed his hand and held it tightly, looking him in the eyes. “I’m so sorry, Damon. How’d you find out?”

  He winked. “God winked at me.”

  I decided not to push the issue, even though the nosy side of me craved to know how he had discovered what Carleigh had done.

  “I couldn’t leave her before, but now I’m done. I’m free … and you’re not.”

  I leaned my head on hi
s chest and could feel his heart beating. I wanted to climb inside him and live there forever. We sat in silence for a few moments, holding hands and thinking about the implications of what would—or would not—come next. The ball was obviously in my court, and I adored that Damon was not trying to pressure me to make a decision.

  In fact, he said, “Brooke, you should go. You should go and be with him. Go be with Patrick.”

  I sat up and looked at him. “You don’t mean that.”

  “I want you to be happy, and if he makes you happy, then you should be with him. I have no right to even do this to you. I shouldn’t have called. I should’ve left well enough alone.”

  “You don’t mean that either.” I lifted his hand and kissed his knuckles. “You’re trying so hard to do the right thing, and I appreciate that, but you don’t mean any of the shit you just said.”

  A tear began to cascade down his right cheek. I leaned up and kissed it away. Then I kissed him on the lips. Once. Twice.

  He parted them and I slipped my tongue inside, exploring his essence, yearning to feel closer to him in every way. Our kiss intensified, full of emotion, full of lust, and everything in between. He pushed me back onto the sofa and I spread my legs so he could grind his dick against me. Even through our clothing, I could feel it hardening, throbbing, aching to be inside me.

  I unbuttoned his shirt and yanked it off his shoulder, then ran my fingertips down his arm. When I touched his prosthetic one, he almost pulled away. I broke the kiss and gazed into his eyes.

  “I need you to lay your hands on me, Damon.” I caressed the fake arm. “Both of them.”

  Damon picked me up as I straddled my legs around his back and carried me to the king-size bed. It had a fancy paisley comforter and plush pillows. He took his time and slowly removed my dress. Then he stared at me, all of me, naked except for my black satin bra and panties.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said, before kissing my belly button and pulling my panties over my thighs. “I want to taste you.”

  “I want to taste you, too,” I heard myself say, even though sucking dick had never been my choice; more like a chore. I was serious though. I craved to have his dick in my mouth. I wanted to satisfy Damon in every way.

  Damon spread my legs and started sucking gently on my clit. I almost exploded from that alone. Then he pushed the tip of his tongue inside me and I shivered. He engulfed my pussy with his mouth, and I leaned up on my elbows so I could see him; see him enjoying me.

  “You want to know what that woman told me that day?” I whispered.

  He stopped and looked at me for a moment. “What woman?”

  “The older woman at the wax museum that day. Remember that she whispered something to me?”

  “What did she say?”

  “ ‘Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.’ ”

  “Huh?”

  I giggled. “That’s what I thought, too, until I looked it up. It’s a quote from William Shakespeare. It’s from his play Twelfth Night; a comedy, kind of like my life. More than four hundred years ago and he understood that.”

  Damon sat up, moved farther up on the bed, and gazed into my eyes.

  “I didn’t mean for you to stop what you were doing,” I chided. “That felt great.”

  He laughed, then seemed to be in heavy thought. “That’s deep, what she said. What do you think she meant by it?”

  “I’ve pondered over it since that day. I believe that she sensed we were not really together, that one or both of us was tied up with someone else. Maybe it was because you were wearing a wedding ring and I wasn’t.” That caused me to look at his hand, and it dawned on me that his ring was gone; only the tan line from where it had once been remained. “I interpret the quote to mean that we can’t control our own destiny, no matter how hard we try. We can seek out the perfect person, in our eyes, and it can be a hit-or-miss situation, but if we fall in love unintentionally, then it must be the real thing.”

  “This is definitely the real thing.” Damon took my hand. “I have a quote for you.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yes. ‘To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.’ ”

  “Who wrote that?” I asked, impressed that he was reciting quotes.

  “I have no idea; maybe me.” We both laughed. Then Damon kissed my hand. “Brooke, I love you, and I’m going to love you forever. I realize that these were not the ideal circumstances, but that old woman was right. This love is better.”

  “Indeed it is.”

  I buried my tongue in his mouth, shocking myself, and savored the taste of my pussy on his tongue. His kisses were the kisses that were meant for me; there was no doubt there. He was meant for me.

  I pushed Damon onto his back and started caressing his upper arm. He seemed a bit uneasy and I knew why.

  I whispered in his ear, “Don’t worry. I love all of you.”

  He helped me to get his shirt all the way off and I looked at his prosthetic arm. For me, it symbolized his manhood; what he had sacrificed for both Carleigh and me. I fingered it, where it attached to his remaining muscles. He winced a little.

  “Is it causing you pain, Damon?”

  “No, I’m okay. I only want to be with you.”

  “Take it off.”

  “My arm?”

  “Yes, I want to see you. Really see you.”

  After briefly hesitating, he unclasped it and slid it right off. I touched his arm, at the place where it had been severed, then leaned down and kissed him there. He shuddered and I couldn’t tell if it felt good or bad.

  “I’m not hurting you, am I?”

  “No, actually, I like that.” I saw a tear forming in his eye. “You really do accept me as I am.”

  “I adore you as you are.”

  I unbuckled his pants, unzipped them, and pulled them down around his ankles. I unlaced his shoes and took them off, then removed his pants completely. His dick, astonishingly bigger than I’d even fantasized about, was stretching the fabric of his boxers to their limit. I decided to relieve it.

  “Let me rescue him,” I whispered, pulling Damon’s boxers down and off. I sat there, staring at his dick, my dick, then could not take it another second.

  I started with his balls, lobbing them up and down on my tongue, teasing them before I captured them in my mouth and sucked on them like sweet grapes. Damon moaned and ran his fingers through my hair.

  I planted small kisses on the shaft of his dick as I worked my way up to the head. He had to be holding at least ten inches of meat, and he was thick and curved.

  Damn!

  I ran the tip of my tongue through the slit and loved his taste. Damon was such a healthy eater and it showed. Either that or I was so enraptured by him that it didn’t matter. I took as much of him into my mouth as I could manage without choking and used my hand to cover the rest of his massive dick. I wanted to please him more than I’d ever pleased anyone. This was the man who had risked his life for me, who had become an intricate part of my life, who had become my entire life.

  “I want some more of you,” Damon whispered—music to my ears.

  “My pleasure,” I told him as I got resituated on the bed and lay on my side with my feet toward the headboard.

  He spread his legs and put his left thigh over my head. I put my left arm behind his back and grabbed the upper part of his thigh with my right as I greedily swallowed more of his dick. He grabbed one of my ass cheeks with his hand, and I moved my hips back and forth, giving in to his desires.

  Even though I never thought it was possible, I swear that Damon and I did climax at the same exact time. He exploded in my mouth and some of it trickled out the side of my lips onto the bed. I licked it up—every last drop. Overnight, I’d gone from Ms. Timid to Ms. Porn Star. What a difference a man makes!

  We took a half-hour break and then made love for the very first time. It was incredible. Damon drilled his dick into me … literally. I was on my back, gazi
ng into his eyes and kissing him, with my legs wrapped around his back, clamping my pussy on to him like a vise. The heels of my feet were bouncing up and down on his ass as he did a slow grind into me, and it was an amazing feeling of deep penetration. His dick was huge! I am surprised Damon didn’t go deaf when I screamed during my next orgasm. The people in the next hotel room knocked on the wall, I was so damn loud.

  Damon and I both laughed when they banged on the wall.

  “They might call security on us,” I said.

  “Nobody’s going to get me out of you,” Damon replied, still grinding into me. “Not security, the police, or even the FBI.”

  “Ooh, I like it when you talk dirty.”

  Damon picked up his pace and gave me the ride of my life until he climaxed moments later. I found myself shuddering, and I will be damned if my toes didn’t curl up.

  We made love for the rest of the night, until the sun rose over the horizon. It could have been the first time either of us had ever made love, or it could have been the last time we thought we ever might. It felt like a little bit of each.

  My entire life had changed … in the span of an evening. I’d have to end things with Patrick, for once and for all. That was a welcome thought. I’d only continued to deal with him because I couldn’t have Damon. I was wrong for that, but he’d definitely sensed it—had said as much on more than one occasion—and I could now confess the truth. I never doubted that Damon wouldn’t go back to Carleigh. He’d been away from her for three weeks, and if I understood one thing about him, it was that he was a good man and would never go back on his word. It made me feel better to know that she’d constructed the destruction of their marriage. That way, I wasn’t the one who destroyed their home life, even though I was sure that many would label me a home wrecker. I was sure that Mrs. Sterling wouldn’t be able to wait to throw it up in Patrick’s face and make the proverbial “I told you so” statement about what a tramp I was. But I didn’t care, not one bit. I had the man of my dreams and I was going to embrace every moment in life. Fate had brought us together, but love would see us through to eternity.