The Complete Rockstar Series

  “Adam, are you okay?”

  I snap out of my daydream, focusing on Ellie as we ride the tube to the Drunken Kitten for my gig tonight, my side painful but mended just enough to not miss work. “Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m brilliant, El. All healed up, no worries.” Jesus, I’m such a stupid arse. No wonder she hasn’t brought up the kiss or tried for a repeat.

  “Seriously, are you alright with me coming with you? I don’t want to get in the way.” Ellie’s cheeks glow with streaks of red, and she stares down at the ground, worrying her hands together before chewing on one of her thumbnails.

  “In the way? Fuck no, El. I want you there.” I take her hand in mine and remove it from those plump lips, secretly loving how it feels to hold her skin to skin. “If you weren’t with me, I’d be worried that you weren’t safe so it’s better this way.” Idiot, now I’m using the excuse of protecting her to keep her around me all the time. I want to kick my own arse for not just telling her that I need her, not for her safety but for me.

  Ellie lifts her head, just enough so I can see the edge of one blue eye and the corner of her mouth as it lifts up into a smile, her blonde hair tumbling over one shoulder in soft waves of vanilla. “You’d worry about me? That’s rubbish and you know it. You’re the one who got jumped and stabbed. Maybe I should worry about you.”

  “Maybe you should,” I mumble, more to myself than to Ellie. Her head comes up the rest of the way and she turns to face me, her eyes wide in surprise.

  “Maybe I do,” she whispers back.

  I swallow, mesmerized by her gorgeous face and the way she’s staring at me. I study those eyes of hers, deep cerulean blue with shards of icy steel grey in them. Neither of us can look away even though it should be getting awkward with us gawking openly at each other. But it’s not, both of us are equally entranced by the magnetic pull that seems to exist between us.

  “This is King’s Cross.” The Underground announcement shakes us out of our little bubble.

  “C’mon. It’s our stop,” My words are husky, I have to cough to pretend to clear my throat so she won’t think I’m mental. I grab my guitar case and stand up. Ellie takes my offered hand and follows me as we walk in silence to the DK, weaving through the other pedestrians as the foot traffic becomes thicker near the pub district.

  The big bouncer nods and lets us past the queue and we head directly for the back room to meet up with Dax and George, and unfortunately, George’s American nephew.

  “Finally!” Dax says as Ellie and I enter the tiny space, which is even smaller now since there are three other blokes, plus Dax, squashed in with us.

  “Adam! I wanted you to meet my nephew,” George bellows happily. Looks like someone has had a few pints already. George’s cheeks are ruddy and his small eyes are glassed over, his crooked smile wide and friendly.

  “George, how’s it going?” I ask politely, subtly positioning myself between him and Ellie.

  “Oh-oh! Who’s this lovely thing?” He strains to see around me so he can get a better look at her.

  “Right, George this is Ellie. Ellie, George here owns the DK.” I stay firmly planted between them so George can’t give her one of his usual sweaty, touchy-feely hugs that the girls round here know to avoid when he’s had a few too many.

  “Hello,” Ellie says graciously, ignoring his drunken state and instead giving George a brilliant smile.

  George is speechless for once. Unable to come up with anything to say to her. I know it’s because she’s so freaking gorgeous. Hell, I’ve been struck dumb around her too. Any man with eyes would suffer the same effect.

  “Uh, well yes. Ummmm, my nephew.” George steps back and nudges a tall, blond bloke forward. “Adam, this is my nephew, Gavin Walker. Gavin, this is Adam Reynolds, the other half of the acoustic duo with Dax here.”

  We shake hands and Gavin gives me a big smile and a quick once over with his eyes, which is a little odd. Gavin is what I’d describe as beautiful. Most men aren’t beautiful, but Gavin sure is, almost abnormally so. He’s so good-looking, he should be doing aftershave ads or walking a runway in Italy, not standing in the backroom of a smoky pub with George.

  “Nice to meet you. Uncle G. hasn’t stopped talking about you since you first auditioned.” His American accent isn’t harsh like most are. His voice is so striking that it’s almost melodic in a way. Gavin nods at Ellie who is still tucked slightly behind me. “Hey,” he says to her.

  “So, where are you from?” I ask, not giving Ellie a chance to answer him. George’s flirting I can handle, this overly attractive guy? No fucking way.

  “California. Los Angeles actually. This is my friend Hawke.” He flicks his perfectly disheveled hair out of his eyes and gracefully motions over his shoulder to the guy behind him.

  “Hey man.” Hawke steps up to shake my hand. I note that he is also American. He’s covered in tattoos and piercings, wearing a hoodie and square black-frame glasses. Real nerdy rock and roll type. The type girls go crazy for because he’s edgy enough to be different but still harmless looking. My instinct tells me that Hawke isn’t as harmless as he appears.

  “Hawke?” I ask, curious about his unusual name. Then I see Hawke’s sharp gaze land on Ellie, and the way he looks at her starts a fire in my gut that has me clenching my hands at my sides. Jesus, between the model and the tatted up rocker, it feels as if a fight to defend my girl will be inevitable.

  Your girl, right Adam. She’s not your girl.

  Hawke tears his greedy eyes from Ellie for two seconds to look at me and answer my question about his name. “Henry,” he shrugs, “but I’ve been called Hawke since I was a kid.”

  I reach back and wrap my arm around El, pulling her into my side possessively so this Hawke guy will get the message. “This is Ellie,” I say, glaring at the two men angrily.

  Gavin smiles kindly at my display of ownership, but Hawke’s eyes widen in understanding and he immediately backs off. Good, because with the healing gash in my side and the still sore bruises all over my body, there’s no way I could fight anyone tonight. I grudgingly allowed Ellie to cover the bruise on my face with concealer, but it’s still there, and it still aches.

  “Well, I’m going to check out the bar area. You boys chat and I’ll be back when it’s time,” George says happily and he disappears out the door and into the crowd.

  “So, what do you play?” Dax asks the two newcomers, joining our awkward little group.

  “I play guitar, acoustic and electric. Mostly bass,” Gavin answers.

  “Drums,” Hawke says as he air drums the space around him. “George says you guys are really talented, so we can’t wait to hear you. He has a surprisingly good ear for these things.”

  Dax and I share a look and start unpacking our things, getting ready for our set. Ellie chats politely with the two Americans. I nearly blow a gasket watching them. Gavin has the nerve to touch her arm and I bristle immediately, spinning to punch the crap out of him. I don’t get a chance to make a move before I’m being pulled back by Dax’s strong hands.

  “Don’t man,” he whispers. “Not here, not now, and certainly not while you’re still all fucked up. Plus, we can’t afford for you to mess up your hand again,” he growls under his breath. “They’re just talking so calm the fuck down.”

  Breathing in and out deep and rhythmically, I attempt to control my emotions, thankful that Dax is able to keep me from screwing up. Fuck! She’s not even mine, so I have no right to feel this way and I know it. I just can’t even think of anyone else touching her, not when I’m literally aching to hold her in my arms.

  “Fine, but I’m keeping my eyes on them,” I growl. My teeth are grinding together so hard that my jaw aches. I have no idea what I’m thinking right now, I’m not a fighter. In fact, I despise it. Living through my dad knocking my mum and me around more times than I can remember, I despise violence unless absolutely necessary, but when it comes to Ellie, it seems all bets are off.

  Loud clapping precedes George as he
steps back into our tiny space. “You’re up! Let’s go boys!”

  Dax and I grab our gear and turn to leave. “Ellie,” I call to her. She comes over and I lean in close, inhaling her sweet vanilla scent. “Stay near the stage, okay? I want, no … I need to be able to see you.”

  Her beautiful pink lips part in surprise and she blinks a few times before answering me, her cheeks flushing pink. “Okay, Adam. I’ll stand wherever you want.”

  “Good,” I meet her curious eyes with mine and manage a small smile. “I’ll see you out there then.” I flick my gaze over at the two strangers before focusing back on Ellie. “Dax! Let’s go.” I take a deep breath and wince at the pain that lingers in my side as we head out to take the stage.

  8

  Ellie

  Watching Adam sing is probably the most sensual thing I’ve ever experienced. His presence is captivating, as if he were literally born to be on stage. His voice draws you right in, both musical and masculine at the same time. Perfect lips caress each note as he strums on his guitar.

  Adam’s eyes never stray far from where I’m standing a few meters from the stage. I feel as if I’m the only person in the crowded pub as his heartbreaking lyrics pierce through me. No one here knows what he’s seen and done, how he lives, how much pain he hides inside. The songs that he writes express the hard life he’s had to endure.

  “Your boyfriend is jealous of me,” Gavin says, leaning in close so I can hear him over the music. His American accent is such a contradiction, so smooth and beautiful, yet severe at the same time.

  I slide my eyes briefly over to the tall, unbelievably attractive blonde man before returning my gaze to the charismatic singer on stage. Gavin is so beautiful it almost hurts to look at him. Men shouldn’t really be allowed to be prettier than you, but Gavin certainly is. Yet he’s incredibly masculine at the same time. “Yeah, we’re just mates, that’s all,” I tell him as I go back to watching Adam.

  Gavin lets out a gentle laugh and gestures towards the stage with his beer. “Does he know that?” I pay closer attention, and sure enough, Adam is scowling at Gavin as he sings.

  If looks could kill.

  I press my lips together determined to ignore Gavin for the rest of the set. Adam and Dax are good. Really good. The large crowd cheers when they take their leave and I realize the conflicting emotion I’m feeling is jealousy. Jealous of the crowd, of the women ogling and quite loudly appreciating Adam’s physical beauty, of sharing him and his music with everyone here. I want to lock him up and keep him to myself.

  “Ellie? Did you hear anything I just said?”

  “Huh?”

  Hawke steps in front of me, waving his hand in my face to pull me out of my thoughts. “Earth to Ellie. Come on, we’re going back to meet the guys.” He laughs and pulls on my arm, tugging me toward the small room in the back of the dark pub. I trip on my own feet and can’t help but giggle at my clumsiness.

  Gavin shoves Hawke through the door and we’re all laughing by the time we stumble into Adam and Dax who have beers in their hands and are grinning as they chat.

  George is already here, congratulating the guys on their set. Gavin and Hawke join the conversation and all five men are eagerly discussing the music, how to add drums and another guitarist to the mix.

  I watch from the edge of the room, uneasy, as another strange emotion washes over me. Loneliness. I’m in a room with five other people and I feel completely and utterly alone. It’s how I felt when Dad lost his job and I left all my friends behind to move to Hackney. Only now the pain is focused on a single aching spot that is piercing straight through my heart.

  “Hey sweet girl, what’s with the sad face?” Adam snakes his arm around my shoulders and I can see concern in his bright hazel eyes, the flecks of golden brown in the greenish-gray background shimmering under the lights.

  I give him a pathetic smile. “Nothing. I’m great, Adam. I’m just thinking about how your side must hurt. That’s all.”

  Adam raises an eyebrow and frowns. “You’re a crap liar, El.” He pauses, studying my face for a moment. “Give me a second, then we’ll go, alright?”

  I nod blankly, suddenly overwhelmed with the need to get the hell out of this cramped room. Adam steps over to Dax and says a few words. I worry at my thumbnail, not even realizing that I’m doing it until the metallic taste of blood hits my tongue.

  Adam slides his hand into mine, threading our fingers together and squeezing tight, his warm touch instantly calming me. “Let’s go, Sweetheart,” he whispers.

  He gives me one of his perfect smiles and my heart speeds up. Falling for Adam Reynolds? Worst idea ever. He’s meant for greatness, I know it. I’ll never have him to myself. I’ll have to share him with the world once they hear his music. This cannot end well.

  9

  Adam

  Watching the tattooed and pierced Hawke eye-fuck Ellie and the too beautiful, too-tan and blonde surfer Gavin touch her all night was a wake-up call for me. I’m not going to be able to sit back and let some other guy come in and snatch her out from under me. She’s too gorgeous, too caring, too fucking perfect to not want her for myself.

  That’s my biggest problem, that she’s too good for someone like me. I’ll drag her into my crap, my brother, my dad, my dead end fucking life. Ellie deserves better, she is better.

  I walk her back to her flat after leaving the DK and catching the tube to our crap side of town. She let me hold her hand the entire ride home. I knew then, even though I’m probably the worst thing for her, that I was going to try to make her mine.

  “Thanks for walking me, Adam.” Strands of Ellie’s long blonde hair blow across her face in the chilly winter night.

  I scoff. “El, it’s after midnight, it’s freezing out, and I’m still worried about your safety. Not to mention that I’d be a real prick to let you walk home alone.”

  She brings her blue eyes up to meet mine. Even in the dark, I can see a hint of a blush stain her cheeks under the streetlights. I glance down at her mouth and watch, mesmerized, as her lips part just a fraction and her tongue darts out and moistens them.

  Unable to stop myself, not wanting to stop myself, I reach up and push her hair behind her ear, leaving my hand on the side of her face. “Tell me if you want me to stop.” I lean closer, pulling her gently towards me with my other hand that’s somehow found its way around her waist.

  “I don’t want you to stop,” she says, her voice husky with desire.

  Those words undo me and the last little bit of restraint I have evaporates. I bring my mouth down on hers and she lets out a tiny moan. It’s hardly loud enough to hear, but that sound marks this moment for me. The moment I begin to fall hard for Ellie Palmer.

  She kisses me, hesitantly at first. Then that moan, and her mouth opens, giving my tongue enough room to explore and taste and discover. The kiss is so perfect that I never want it to end, but it’s late, and getting colder every minute.

  Reluctantly pulling back, I rest my forehead on hers, allowing us both to catch our breath. The small clouds of mist mingle between us in the frigid air.

  “Ellie,” I murmur, her name a benediction for me. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  Her eyes close, as if in pain at the thought of parting, but she nods. “Yes, tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” I press a kiss to her forehead and another quick one to her swollen lips. “Go inside. I can’t leave until I know you’re safe.”

  Ellie takes the last few steps backwards, not turning away until the last second. “Bye Adam,” she says as she opens the door and disappears inside.

  “Bye Ellie,” I whisper to myself.

  * * *

  Turns out Gavin and Hawke are excellent at their respective instruments. Better than excellent, they’re freaking brilliant. When they jammed with us the first time, it was as if we’d all been playing together for years. We make a great foursome.

  “Ellie! You ever going to get your nose out of that sodding book and listen to u
s play?” I call out to where she’s sitting nearby with her maths book open.

  “Adam, stop trying to corrupt me. I have to keep up with school so I can take my A-levels,” she snaps back at me playfully, smiling the entire time. “Just because you’re going to be a huge famous rock star and won’t need to know any of this, doesn’t mean I don’t.”

  I shake my head and laugh at her. There are only two things I care about these days, music and Ellie. School isn’t part of my future, I know that, Ellie knows that. In fact, if I didn’t get to see Ellie there everyday, or need to get out of the hellhole I live in for a few hours, I’d probably have dropped out by now.

  “Fine, miss out on being a part of history in the making,” I joke with her as I play a quick riff.

  Ellie rolls her eyes. “Mighty large head you’ve got there, Reynolds,” she laughs as she turns back to her book.

  I shrug, even though she isn’t watching me anymore. Our gig at the DK was popular before, but with Gavin and Hawke playing with us, George has had to turn people away at the door because there’s literally no more room for anyone else inside the tiny pub. We’ve gone from no job and no future, to raking in piles of money every weekend. It’s not enough to get our own flat or make a living, but for me, it’s enough to feed myself and still save money to leave eventually.

  “Adam! Are you going to stare at Ellie all day or are we going to practice?”

  I look over my shoulder and see Dax grinning at me from the other side of the abandoned basement, ecstatic to be able to embarrass me in front of Ellie. Only, I’m not embarrassed. Even though we haven’t gone any further than some pretty heavy kissing, I enjoy every single second I spend with her. And surprisingly, it’s me who keeps it tame between us. I don’t want to spoil everything by treating her like another easy fuck. The slow burn we’re working up will make it so worth it when we finally get to the physical part of our relationship. For the first time in my life I’m not in it just to get my rocks off.