Ghostwriting

  Nobody ate very much at dinner that night, but Simon polished off a whole bottle of red wine on his own. Billie was neither drinking nor smoking, and nor would she until their mission was over.

  ‘What are you going to tell customs if they ask to check your bags?’ Simon queried, fearful for the girls.

  ‘I’ve thought about that.’ Shannon smiled for the first time since the pool incident this morning and dispersed a little of the gloom that had descended on them all. ‘I’m going to type up a fake order form on the film company letterhead that I’ve got lying around in my editing suite.’

  ‘You’re going to tell them it’s a prop for a film?’ Simon gaped at the idea, finding it so outrageous that it just might work.

  ‘Works for me, babe.’ Billie gave her hippie mate a wink. ‘But if they pull us up, I don’t know you,’ she added and then laughed at the look of desertion on Shannon’s face. ‘Oh, as if?’ Billie was offended that her friend would take the joke to heart. ‘You know I’d punch out the guards while you do a runner with the bones.’

  Shannon laughed, as this was more like the truth. ‘You know, now I think about it, this is really exciting.’

  Billie swallowed down another vegetable juice and slammed the glass down on the table. ‘Yep! I’ve never felt so alive in my whole goddamn life!’ Of course, Billie was very liberal with the ‘f’ word in this instance.

  ‘Well, getting Katlin back to her lover is one thing,’ Simon sighed, ‘but what am I going to do about the ghost in my pool? I’m sure as hell never going in there again.’ He went white with fear. ‘What if it comes up to the house?’

  ‘We’ve never encountered him in the house.’ Shannon was quick with the comforting thought.

  ‘If he comes up here I’ll kick his butt, just like I did this morning,’ Billie assured him, rubbing her fingers through her short bleached hairdo.

  ‘But what am I going to do when you leave?’ Simon was stressing out. ‘I could be murdered here and no one would be the wiser.’

  ‘Then come with us?’ Shannon proffered. ‘The Irish are experts on ghosts. I’m sure someone there can give us some good advice on how to be rid of one.’

  The colour returned to Simon’s face and he stood. ‘Let’s do it.’

  All the lights in the house began to flicker in unison. The temperature in the room plummeted, and all present could see the vapour of their breath.

  Billie reached for her bag. ‘Keys, wallet and sunglasses, guys … everything else we can pick up on the way.’

  ‘Right you are,’ Simon agreed, launching himself into the search for said items, which were scattered around the kitchen.

  Shannon crammed the album pertaining to the house’s history in her large pouch-like bag, and reached for the handle of the suitcase containing Katlin’s bones.

  ‘I’ll take that.’ Billie took the suitcase in hand. ‘The only way that Heartley gets this bag from me is if he pries it from my cold, dead fingers.’

  All the doors in the house began opening and slamming closed in rapid motion, the noise of which was deafening.

  ‘Jesus Christ!’ Simon cried, shoving his wallet in the back pocket of his filthy jeans as he scampered back toward the girls.

  ‘Ah! The decaying bastard is full of piss and wind.’ Billie waved off the display as if it were nothing and headed for the back door with the suitcase. When she tried to exit, all the doors slammed closed and the back door refused to open.

  ‘F — k it!’ Billie kicked the stubborn item, frustrated that her brute strength would not open it.

  Shannon went for a window, but once unlocked it began crashing up and down like a guillotine.

  ‘Here …’ Simon grabbed a small coffee table and swinging two of the legs outside he used the table and the other two legs to prop up the window which continued to pound down, though unable to break their brace. ‘Quick, let’s go!’ He helped Shannon out of the window. Billie clambered out on her own, dragging the suitcase with her.

  No sooner had Simon jumped out on to the lawn than the tabletop split in two and one fragment came crashing down on top of him.

  Both girls rushed to his side.

  ‘Simon, are you okay?’ Billie slapped him around the cheeks, but failed to raise any coherent response from the man beyond an, ‘Ahhhh?’

  As kitchen items began flying out the window at them, Shannon and Billie were forced to move.

  ‘Take the bag.’ Billie handed Katlin’s remains over to Shannon, and scooping Simon over her shoulder, Billie headed for the car.

  Katlin’s case and Simon got thrown in the back seat. Billie jumped into the driver’s seat, eager to get the car started, as the sky above rumbled, threatening rain.

  ‘Hurry, Billie,’ Shannon urged from the passenger seat, having never been so scared in all her born days. ‘I have a bad feeling —’

  ‘Yeah, me too,’ Billie said, hating to admit it. She turned the key in the ignition. ‘No, no!’ Billie tried to start it several times and slammed the wheel in frustration. ‘It always starts, first time, every time!’ In the rear vision mirror she spied old Heartley sitting in the back seat, smiling back at her. ‘F — k! Heartley’s in the car.’

  Shannon turned and looked in the back seat, but saw nothing; she looked back at Billie, who was glaring into the rear vision mirror. ‘What’s he doing?’

  ‘The fuckwit is blowing me kisses.’ Billie, infuriated and ever more inspired, grabbed her bag and got out of the car.

  Shannon followed suit. She pulled her mobile phone from her bag and checked it for a signal. ‘Shit!’ It was promptly returned to her bag. ‘Now what?’

  ‘Are you game to go back in the house?’ Billie questioned, as she spotted the wheelbarrow and moved to fetch it.

  ‘Absolutely not.’ Shannon was grateful that Billie was not seriously entertaining that notion either.

  Once Simon was in the barrow, Shannon attempted to pull Katlin’s suitcase from the back seat, but it stuck fast. ‘Billie, I think Heartley’s sitting on it.’ When Billie grabbed hold as well, the suitcase gave a little, but it took considerable heaving to free the bag from the car and when it did come away, the force sent Shannon and Billie toppling backwards to the ground.

  They didn’t waste any time in getting to their feet. Shannon pulled out the handle on the suitcase, set it on its wheels and started running for the gate at the end of the drive.

  ‘Go babe,’ Billie urged her, she herself taking up the handles of the wheelbarrow and forging ahead with it.

  Rain had begun falling and the open gate banged in the wind.

  As Shannon neared, a gale blew up that pounded the gate so hard against its foundations that it began to swing closed. ‘Don’t even think about it!’ she shouted, picking up her pace and willing herself to beat the gate to its locking. Shannon realised she wasn’t going to make it. ‘Help me, Katlin! Fight for your freedom, goddamn it. We’re not going to do it all for you.’

  Just as the gate was about to slam closed in front of her, a gale blew up and forced it open again.

  ‘Way to go, girl!’ Shannon cheered as she sped out the gate and held it open for Billie to power on through.

  ‘We’re outta here!’ Billie cheered on the way down the road.

  Before Shannon headed off after her, she pulled out her mobile to check for a signal. ‘All right!’ She suspected that Heartley’s ghost held no sway beyond the boundaries of his property, but then maybe the signal for her phone was just better at this location? Ghosts had filled up so much of her days lately that she didn’t want to start getting overly paranoid — despite how prone she might be to doing so, considering the display she’d just seen. The world without such phenomena seemed a million miles away now. Her view of life, death, the universe and everything had been dramatically altered forever.

  As Simon wasn’t looking any closer to regaining consciousness, Shannon dialled for an ambulance.

  The harsh hospital lighting brought Billie and Shannon back t
o reality, as did their damp, filthy clothes, soaked through by the time the ambulance had reached them.

  Simon had been admitted to hospital with mild concussion. The doctors wanted to keep an eye on him overnight, but Shannon and Billie would be permitted to see their friend once he was settled in his room.

  ‘What have I done, Bill?’ Shannon whispered, although they were alone in the waiting room. ‘I have made Simon an outcast in his own home.’

  ‘Hey, you weren’t to know.’ Billie shrugged. ‘No one expects this kind of thing to happen. If I know Simon, he won’t blame you … he’ll just be happy that his spooks didn’t cut loose when he was alone in the house.’

  ‘Still, I shouldn’t mess with powers that I know nothing about.’ Shannon sank even further into her slouched position, feeling remorseful and responsible.

  ‘And how the hell do you learn about haunted houses?’ Billie scoffed at Shannon’s unfounded guilt trip.

  ‘I could have read more —’

  ‘Those books you brought home all stated that every haunting is unique,’ Billie argued. ‘At least you had the guts to investigate. And give us a little credit … we’ve solved a mystery that has been buried for nearly a century. If we’ve come this far, knowing nothing, then I’m pretty confident that we can find a cure for whatever ails Simon’s property.’

  Shannon was so impressed by her friend’s attitude that she burst into a broad smile.

  ‘What?’ Billie was alarmed by Shannon’s sudden amusement.

  ‘You’re really amazing, you know that?’ Shannon began and Billie rolled her eyes.

  ‘F — k off.’

  ‘No, I mean it,’ Shannon persisted, over Billie’s denial. ‘You are the stuff that heroes are made of. I never could have done this without you.’ She couldn’t prevent tears from welling and her emotions choked her, restraining her from further speech.

  ‘Hey, it’s been a blast,’ Billie reassured her, guessing that Shannon was going into shock. ‘I’m off all the toxins and I’ve scored a free trip to Ireland … I’m a happy woman.’

  ‘If the offer of a free trip still stands,’ Shannon mused, realising Simon now had the expense of tidying up the interior of his beautiful house.

  ‘Are you kidding,’ Billie retorted. ‘Simon’s going to want a way to get Heartley out of his house.’

  ‘What if he tells us to put Katlin back in the ground?’ Shannon feared their effort might all come to naught. Billie looked rather concerned suddenly. She obviously hadn’t considered this turn of events.

  ‘I’m not taking her back there,’ Billie insisted. ‘I’ll beat Simon into submission if need be.’

  ‘You may see Mr Wexford now,’ a nurse entered to announce. The nurse regarded Billie warily, having caught her threat. ‘But you can only see him briefly, as he needs rest.’

  ‘My saviours!’ Simon held wide his arms to the girls, welcoming their entry into his private room.

  ‘You’ve got a tough head.’ Billie sat on the bed and gave him a squeeze.

  ‘We’re so sorry about the all the trouble and damage we’ve caused you,’ Shannon added, before Simon had the chance to award her his full attention.

  ‘How badly was the house damaged?’ he thought to inquire from Billie as they parted from their embrace.

  ‘We didn’t go back to find out,’ Billie advised him, ‘but Heartley had started throwing things about when we left.’

  Simon roused an ironic smirk. ‘With any luck the bastard will burn the place down and then I’ll claim the whole thing as an insurance write-off.’

  ‘If we go to Ireland,’ Shannon began to skirt her way around the issue, ‘I feel sure we can —’

  ‘What do you mean “if”?’ Simon protested. ‘I’m counting on you two to go. I’m selling the house,’ he informed them, ‘whether or not you solve my little problem. But if you can find a way to rid the house of Heartley, my selling price might be a whole lot higher.’

  ‘We could try putting Katlin back in the ground … the disturbances might subside.’ Shannon was shy of suggesting this, but she felt, in all fairness to Simon, that she had to.

  Simon had a brief think about the proposition. ‘I believe Katlin has suffered long enough for the inhumanity of man. So you’re taking her back to Ireland and I’m paying all your expenses, first-class all the way.’

  Billie and Shannon’s cheering brought the nurse running. ‘I said he needed rest,’ she reprimanded them and then insisted they both leave.

  ‘Here, Simon.’ Billie tossed him her keys. ‘Stay at my place when they let you out.’

  ‘My knight in shining armour,’ Simon emphasised as he caught the keys. ‘Just keep all your receipts, ladies, and I’ll reimburse you.’ Simon waved and blew kisses while the girls were ushered out the door by the nurse.

  6. A Ghost’s Chance

  There wasn’t much choice but to pack light for Ireland, seeing as the girls had left most of their good warm clothes at the haunted house in the mountains. Shannon, being a bit of a hippie-surfer girl, didn’t have a hell of a lot of warm clothes anyway. What the hell, she’d decided, viewing her near-empty backpack, it’s a good excuse to go shopping.

  Once packed, Billie and Shannon dropped by the editing studio where Shannon had been working on her last feature and there they typed up their fake order form.

  ‘I don’t know if this is going to work.’ Shannon looked over the printout, fearing that if they were exposed she’d never edit film in this country again.

  ‘Looks real to me.’ Billie snatched it from Shannon’s grasp, folded it and placed it in her top pocket. When Billie heard the weeping, she thought Shannon was overreacting. ‘Get over it, babe.’

  ‘It’s not me.’ Shannon turned to face Billie, dry-eyed. ‘Katlin?’

  Billie and Shannon’s ears pricked up, and they looked about the room for the apparition.

  On top of the suitcase containing her bones sat Katlin, weeping as quietly as possible as she held her hands over her heart in gratitude.

  ‘What’s the matter, Katlin?’ Shannon attempted to get their ghost communicating. ‘Can you tell me?’

  As Billie and Shannon stared at the apparition, they could see her desperately trying to convey her views but alas they could not hear a word. Katlin kept pointing to her mouth and shaking her head. In the end, Katlin gave up trying to voice herself and frustrated, she vanished.

  ‘Why can we hear her crying and yet not hear her speak?’ Shannon frowned, perplexed.

  From behind her came the sound of keys being tapped on the computer keyboard.

  HEARTLEY CUT OUT MY TONGUE. I HOPE I SHALL BE REUNITED WITH MY VOICE ONCE MY SPIRIT IS AT PEACE.

  ‘What a prick!’ Billie’s apprehension was swept away by her anger, as they read the words on the screen.

  HE DISCOVERED THAT I HAD TOLD SOME CLOSE FRIENDS ABOUT MY TRUE LOVE. I WAS NEVER LET OUT OF THE HOUSE AFTER THAT, NOR WAS I ALLOWED ANY VISITORS. NO ONE KNEW ABOUT MY MUTILATION, EXCEPT THE SERVANTS, WHO WERE PAID WELL TO KEEP QUIET ABOUT ME.

  Shannon’s hand had come to cover her mouth; the thought of what this woman’s life must have been like made her want to be sick.

  CLEARLY, I AM DEEPLY INDEBTED TO YOU BRAVE WOMEN, BUT I FEEL I CANNOT ASK YOU TO TAKE ANY MORE RISKS ON MY ACCOUNT. I AM AWAY FROM HEARTLEY’S TORMENT NOW. PLEASE LAY ME TO REST ANYWHERE AND SAVE YOURSELVES ANY FURTHER HARDSHIP.

  ‘No, no, no, Katlin.’ Shannon stood to voice her feelings. ‘You’ve endured too much to settle for such an anticlimax.’

  ‘I don’t think that we’re really Katlin’s main concern.’ Billie cocked an eye in challenge. ‘If you ask me she’s just shit scared of meeting her old flame again.’

  The computer keys began clicking away again.

  WHAT IF HE IS BURIED BESIDE HIS WIFE?

  ‘Do you know if Timothy married?’ Shannon asked.

  NO

  ‘Well then, until we go investigate what happened to the man, you’ll never know,’ Shannon told
her. ‘If it turns out he found true love elsewhere … then we’ll bury you at some other nice location.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Billie seconded that. ‘If we can be brave enough to get you this far, you can bloody well be brave enough to go the rest of the way.’

  THANK YOU

  Both women smiled at Katlin’s resolution. ‘You’re welcome,’ they chanted, followed by a mighty ‘Yahoo!’

  The flight from Sydney to Dublin was long, but uneventful. They would be changing planes here, to catch a domestic airline to a smaller airport in County Kenny.

  As they awaited their baggage at the luggage belt, Shannon had the horrid vision of the bag containing Katlin’s corpse ending up in Africa or somewhere. But the bag, which Shannon had covered in fragile stickers, with Katlin’s comfort in mind, was one of the first pieces out of the gate.

  All the stickers were removed before approaching customs, as they did not want to attract any attention to the case. It was good that Shannon’s backpack was quite under-loaded, because it looked as if her main luggage was in the bag in question.

  The customs man was pleasant enough, asking how long Shannon would be staying. He inquired whether she was in Ireland for business or a holiday. It was all going rather smoothly when he suddenly asked what was in Shannon’s suitcase.

  If she told him clothes and then he opened the suitcase, she’d be in strife; if she told him the truth, she’d get arrested and possibly locked in an asylum. Thus, their fabrication seemed the best option.

  Shannon leaned in close to give her answer. ‘An old rotting skeleton,’ she whispered, mysteriously.

  The officer smiled, realising Shannon was having a go.

  ‘Well, that’s what we hope it looks like,’ Shannon announced cheerfully, as she pulled out her fake order form and handed it to the officer. ‘Do you want to have a look?’

  Billie, who was next in line behind Shannon, began biting her nails as her friend made the offer.

  ‘You could give us your professional opinion?’ Shannon urged him to comply.