Heartsong

“You look like you could use a cup of coffee,” Skye said, watching Anne Marie greedily suck at the bottle. When she glanced up a few seconds later, she found Jordan’s gaze lingering on her. His eyes were narrowed, expressing uncertainty, perhaps hesitation.

  “Jordan, is something wrong?” she asked in a whisper.

  His eyes cleared immediately. “No, I was just watching Anne Marie and seeing how very right you look with a baby in your arms.” His look was tender. “We’ll have beautiful children.”

  Their children … their child. A lump of wonder and joy blocked her throat. The deep womanly desire to bear children was one she had ignored for eight years; now it surfaced, and the longing to hold her own child swelled within her. Jordan was right; their children would be beautiful. God willing they would be dark, like Jordan, but their eyes a striking contrast of deep blue.

  “Do you want a cup of tea?” he asked, breaking into her thoughts.

  “I have one. It’s sitting on the countertop in the kitchen, but it’s probably lukewarm by now.”

  The time he was gone gave Skye a chance to gather her thoughts. Children were something they had barely discussed, and there were so many other things they needed to know about each other. Perhaps Jordan would prefer to wait a few years before starting a family. It was another question to add to the long list.

  Anne Marie finished the bottle; her eyes closed, and she fell more than half asleep. When Skye gently withdrew the nipple from her lips, her tiny mouth continued the sucking action. She placed the baby over her shoulder and urged her to burp by rubbing her arched back in gentle, circular movements. The release came, and Skye placed her inside the playpen, covering her with one of the blankets.

  Jordan returned with their steaming drinks.

  “She’s asleep,” Skye whispered, accepting the cup he handed her.

  By silent agreement, they sat together on the sofa.

  “Have you missed me?” Jordan asked with a coaxing smile.

  She studied the steaming cup of tea. “You know I have,” she admitted freely. When he placed his arm around her shoulder she snuggled closer to his side. A contented happiness stole over her as his body pressed close to hers.

  “Then I won’t mind admitting how frustrated I’ve been these past two weeks.” The words were issued in mild exasperation.

  Shifting her position slightly, she slid her arms around his middle and rested her head on the firm hardness of his shoulder.

  The gentle caress of his hand against her hair was comforting and at the same time arousing.

  “What’s worrying you, Skye?” Jordan asked quietly. The pressure of his lips touched the crown of her head. “The last few times we’ve talked, I’ve felt you were holding something back. It’s the most frustrating thing in the world to hear your voice and realize you need me there. Won’t you tell me what it is, sweetheart?”

  A silence followed. Skye longed to tell him, pour out her doubts and fears, but she was afraid … afraid if he saw her lack of faith, it would hinder Jordan’s budding awareness of God. Dare she bare her soul again? She had left herself exposed, and there was nothing left she could disguise from him any longer. Telling Jordan about Glen had left her naked, her heart, her mind, her soul.

  “What … what makes you think anything is wrong?” she asked, her back stiffening slightly.

  She could feel his smile against her hair. “Other than the sign on your refrigerator door, I’d say it was the hesitation and fear I sense in your voice.”

  Her arms tightened around his midsection, and she raised her face to look into the warm vibrancy of his eyes. Her fingers crept to his face, stroking the rugged jaw she had come to love so much.

  “It’s Billy,” she whispered achingly. “His surgery is Monday morning. His whole life rests on the results.” Her voice trembled slightly. “I’m so afraid. Does that make me sound like a terrible Christian?”

  “No,” he assured her softly, “it makes you sound very human.”

  “I am human, Jordan, and so weak. Billy’s mother needs me to be strong, she’s so alone and frightened. I feel like such a phony spouting off assurances when I am really a quivering mass of doubts myself.”

  Jordan’s arms tightened about her. “My dear, sweet Pollyanna, when will you learn you can’t carry the world on your shoulders?”

  “I don’t know that I ever will. It seems worrying is a part of my nature, but I hate it. Sometimes I see myself as spiritually strong, and I confidently want God’s will for Billy no matter what. But I don’t have the faith to honestly trust God with Billy’s fate. I want him to walk and run and play like a normal ten-year-old. That’s the whole crux of the matter—my wants.”

  Jordan’s finger lifted her chin as he gazed into her troubled eyes. “But don’t you think that’s what Christ wants? I’m confident Billy is going to be fine no matter what the outcome of the surgery. As for recognizing our lack of faith, that’s good, too, because then we must rely on God, and that’s what He wants.”

  Skye searched his eyes. This was Jordan speaking? This was the same man who had told her she was playing a Pollyanna game and wished to agree to disagree on spiritual matters? She immediately wanted to question him, but hesitated. Trusting Christ was new to him, and she didn’t want to rush his faith or make him uncomfortable.

  “What time is the surgery Monday?” he asked.

  “First thing. Betty and I are meeting at the hospital at six. Sally and a couple of other nurses are planning to come later.”

  “I’ve got a conference Monday morning,” he muttered, frowning. “What are Billy’s chances for a complete recovery?”

  “I … I’m not sure, but Dr. Snell told Betty there’s a fifty-fifty chance he’ll regain the use of his legs. But he also said there will be months of physical therapy, if not years. This is not some miracle cure, nor is it a simple procedure that’s going to make everything hunky-dory. Even if everything goes according to plan, it’ll be weeks before Billy can even attempt walking.”

  Jordan’s fingers laced through the long strands of her honey-colored hair. “Would you like me to be with you Monday?”

  “Oh, Jordan, yes. But your meeting …?” She couldn’t hide her desire to have him with her. She needed him; for the first time in eight years, she desperately needed someone to share her fears. Just knowing he would make the effort to come brought an indescribable peace.

  “I can’t guarantee it, Skye, but I’ll try.”

  “I know you will.” She’d been so preoccupied with her own worries, she suddenly broke contact with him. “Jordan, I’m sorry. Are you hungry? I didn’t even think to ask. How about a sandwich?”

  “Dessert?” His teasing eyes questioned.

  “I have some peanut butter cookies,” she said with a laugh.

  “Cookies,” Jordan said distastefully. “What kind of dessert is that?”

  Skye blushed briefly. “The only kind you’re going to get until things are … official?”

  His gaze grew warm and possessive, and he reached inside his pocket and withdrew a small jeweler’s box.

  Skye’s heartbeat tripped over itself as she accepted the package. Her blue eyes locked with his as she flipped open the plush velvet lid.

  “It was my grandmother’s,” Jordan explained, his husky drawl a warm caress. “I had the jeweler clean it and adjust the size.”

  Glancing into the open box, Skye gasped with pleasure. A single diamond set in an intricate gold pattern sparkled back at her. It was beautiful, more beautiful than anything she had ever seen. Simple, yet elegant; antique in style, but unique. When she raised her gaze, Skye was speechless.

  “I knew you’d like it,” Jordan said simply. He took the box from her, removed the ring, and slipped it onto her finger.

  Skye blinked through the wall of tears. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful engagement ring,” she mumbled ardently, her voice weak with suppressed emotion.

  Jordan watched her intently, his look almost physical. In the next
moment Skye was crushed against his chest. His mouth settled over hers, taking freely of her softness in a devouring kiss.

  “Skye,” he whispered achingly, “this had better be a short engagement. I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off you much longer.” His mouth burned hers in another passionate kiss.

  Sliding her arms around his neck, she rested her head softly against his shoulder until their breathing had returned to normal. She raised herself slightly, turning his face toward her. “I want children. I don’t want to wait to start a family.” It was a crazy thing to say under the circumstances. Before questioning her actions, she opened her lips and kissed him hard and long.

  Jordan moaned and broke the contact. “Unless you wish to start our family tonight, I suggest we stop this torture.”

  “Would you like a sandwich?” Skye asked apologetically. Her actions weren’t helping either of them battle the temptations of their love.

  “No, but fix me one anyway.” Jordan helped her up and gave her rump a solid whack as she rose. “And no more teasing, understand?”

  She nodded, her face a rosy hue. “But, Jordan, I wasn’t teasing about wanting a family right away. I do want children.”

  His look darkened. “Skye,” he said, his raw voice pleading with her, “fix me that sandwich.”

  Opening the refrigerator door, Skye scanned its contents for something appetizing. “Leftover roast beef okay?” She glanced toward Jordan.

  “Fine.” He was standing over the slumbering baby, his look warm and tender. “Do they always sleep this peacefully?” he asked, his voice startling Anne Marie, who woke with a feeble cry. Attempting to correct the damage, Jordan began whispering reassurances to her while casting a pleading look in Skye’s direction.

  Skye grinned at him, her eyes full of amusement. “You woke her, you take care of her.”

  The baby cried in earnest, and Skye laughed aloud at the frustrated, helpless look Jordan gave her.

  “All right, all right.” She set the sandwich makings on the countertop. “I’m coming.”

  The minute the baby was in her arms, the cries lessened. But it was obvious Anne Marie needed her diaper changed yet again; her blanket and her sleeper were moist and clammy.

  “Can I help?” Jordan offered as Skye slid the safety pin through the gauze diaper.

  “Give her your hand,” Skye suggested as she snapped the legs of the sleeper together.

  Jordan’s gaze rushed over her skeptically before his hand smoothed the rumpled mass of her unruly curls. The taut muscles of his face relaxed as the baby cooed.

  “For someone so little she has a good pair of lungs, doesn’t she?” He bent forward again, and Anne Marie firmly gripped his little finger.

  Both awake and alert, Anne Marie sat on Jordan’s lap looking around curiously while Skye finished making the sandwich.

  “I told you once she woke up she’d fall prey to your male charms. She hasn’t been that content all night.” She handed Jordan the sandwich and took Anne Marie.

  “The kid’s on her best behavior. She knows a prospective father when she sees one.” He took a bite of the roast beef. “This is good.”

  “I’m on my best behavior, too,” Skye joked. “I know a prospective husband when I see one.”

  They laughed, but when their eyes met, they locked, sharing promises they were both eager to collect.

  Skye broke the contact first. “How did you know my ring size?” she asked. The ring fit her perfectly.

  “I’m glad you reminded me.” He pulled something from his pocket and extended his hand to her.

  “What’s this?”

  “The ring I took the last time I was here. I needed to know your ring size and wanted to surprise you.”

  “Jordan,” she said incredulously, “you didn’t! Do you realize what you put me through? I knew the ring was on the kitchen countertop the last time you were here, and after you left it was missing.” She flushed guiltily. “I couldn’t think what might have happened to it. I’ve been looking everywhere.”

  A grimness settled over him. “I didn’t think you’d miss it. I should have said something; I only meant to keep the ring a few days. As you know I got tied up and it’s been two weeks. I can only imagine what you must have assumed. I would never steal from you, Skye.”

  “I know that,” she said. “I’ve promised to be your wife, and with that commitment comes my trust. No matter what was missing, I would never believe you’d take anything from me.”

  A brooding look came over him. “You mean you trust me unquestioningly?”

  Relaxing against the back of the chair, Skye gave him a full smile. “Always,” she promised. “My faith came with my commitment to be your wife.”

  “I’m not worthy of this,” he argued, setting his half-eaten sandwich aside.

  Skye bounced Anne Marie on her lap, and the baby’s glee filled the room. “It doesn’t matter. I love you.”

  Jordan’s sober voice contrasted with the playful sounds coming from the baby. “And I love you.”

  Standing, Skye transferred the baby to her hip. “I have something for you, too. It’s not a diamond, but it comes from my heart.” She left him momentarily, returning with a leather-bound book. “This was my father’s. I want you to have it, Jordan.”

  He accepted the book, respectfully turning the pages. “It’s his Bible.” A troubled look darkened his face. “I can’t accept this.”

  Skye didn’t immediately speak. “After Glen was killed, my father tried to assure me God had another man for me. Bless his heart, it was little comfort then, particularly since I didn’t want another man. I refused to believe him and built a wall around myself. If someone had told me even six months ago I would fall in love again, I wouldn’t have believed them.” She rushed on before he could stop her. “I owe you so much, Jordan. I don’t think you’ll ever realize how much. There’s nothing I could give you that means more to me than this Bible, but I give it freely with all my love.”

  Anne Marie quieted as Skye laid her across her shoulder. Jordan’s eyes burned with an intensity that seemed to reach out and touch her. The pressure of his hand brought her down beside him. He set the Bible aside and drew her into his arms. The taut muscle of his jaw flexed before relaxing. The kiss that followed was one of wonder, joy, and contentment; lovingly his hand remained to gently trace her face. “And with all my love, I accept.” Tenderly she drew his hand from her face and kissed his palm, then rested against his shoulder in a comfortable and familiar position.

  The alarm rang early the next morning. Skye groaned and buried her head beneath the pillow, attempting to escape the inevitability of rising to meet another day. Jordan had left only a few minutes before Sally and Andy had arrived for Anne Marie.

  “Was Anne Marie good?” Sally had asked with a worried voice.

  “Like an angel.” Excitement burned within Skye; she could barely restrain the rush of words. “Jordan was by and …” But before she could explain further, Sally groaned.

  “Oh, no, I knew something like this would happen. I’m so sorry, Skye, we ruined your evening.”

  Wordlessly Skye extended her hand, letting the sparkling diamond on her ring finger say it for her.

  For the first time in all the years Skye had known her, Sally was speechless. “You’re … engaged … Jordan … marrying?” she mumbled between gasps of amazement and undisguised delight.

  “We’ve set the date for the last weekend in June, right after school lets out.”

  Impulsively Sally hugged her in a breath-denying squeeze. “I knew it the minute I saw Jordan Kiley. I said to myself, this is the man for Skye. I did, I really did. This calls for a celebration. Anyone for pizza?”

  It was well past one before Skye went to bed, but her mind raced and she found herself unable to sleep. It had been hours since Jordan had returned to LA, but the lingering scent of his aftershave permeated the air, almost as if his presence had remained with her.

  Skye had expl
ained to Sally at least ten times that watching Anne Marie had been a blessing. Because of the baby’s presence they were able to relax and talk, something that may have been denied them otherwise.

  Now dressed and ready to face another busy school day, Skye downed a cup of orange juice while the contentment and excitement from the night before lingered.

  Thick fog, so familiar to those in the Bay Area, misted the streets and clung to the earth. The weatherman forecast rain, and Skye pulled her new spring jacket from the closet. Folding it over her arm, something fell from the pocket—it was the uncanny fortune she had gotten the day she’d explored Chinatown with Billy and her niece. With a bubble of unsuppressed laughter she took the small slip of paper and threw it in the garbage. She had been undeniably silly to have allowed a fortune cookie to have troubled her. Her trust was in the Lord, none other. The flash of the diamond ring caught her eye, and she paused to look at it again. It was beautiful, incredibly so—a promise of love. She would never know a greater happiness than what she was experiencing this minute, she decided on her way out the door.

  The whole day was like a teacher’s dream. The children were well behaved, responding eagerly to the lesson plan and Skye’s elated mood.

  Betty Fisher was waiting for Skye in Billy’s hospital room.

  “Good afternoon, Sprout.” Skye sat in the chair beside his bed. “Hello, Betty. Are we ready for the big day Monday?”

  Billy nodded eagerly while his mother showed less enthusiasm.

  “Dr. Warren asked me to come to his office this afternoon. He wants to go over the details of the surgery with me one last time. Could … could you go with me, Skye?” The hesitation in her voice showed that she really didn’t want to ask, but her fear overrode her objections.

  “I’ll be happy to,” Skye assured her quickly.

  “Are you going to tell them, or do I get the privilege?” Sally asked as she strolled into the room, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

  “I’ll tell them,” Skye said with a smile. “I think they’re the only ones in the hospital who don’t know.” She cast a pointed stare at Sally, who feigned ignorance. “Billy, do you remember your old roommate, Mr. Kiley?”