A Mother's Wish

  “To my property.” Cole didn’t turn toward Robin. It was as if he had to ignore her in order to walk away from her.

  “Oh, yeah!” Jeff said enthusiastically. “I remember you said something about it once. You’re building a house, aren’t you?”

  “Remodelling one. My grandfather lived there as a boy and he left it to me, only it’s been a lot of years since anyone’s cared for that old house properly and there’s plenty of work that needs to be done.”

  “I’ll work for you,” Jeff piped up eagerly. He made a fist and flexed his arm, revealing the meager muscles. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but I’m strong. Ask anyone.”

  Cole tested Jeff’s muscles, pretending to be impressed. “Yes, I can tell you’re strong, and I’m sure I couldn’t ask for a harder worker.” Jeff beamed until Cole added regretfully, “I’ll take you up there another time, sport.”

  Jeff’s face fell.

  Before she even realized what she was doing, Robin moved onto the porch. “Cole.”

  He turned to face her, but the movement seemed reluctant.

  Perhaps it was because she didn’t want to be separated from him any more than he wanted to be away from her. Perhaps it was the thought of Jeff’s disappointment when he’d already had so many other disappointments in his life. Perhaps it was this newborn sense of freedom she was just beginning to experience.

  She stepped toward Cole. “Could Jeff and I go up to the property with you?”

  Jeff didn’t wait for Cole to answer before leaping excitedly into the air. “Hey, Mom, that’s a great idea! Really great. Can we, Cole? Blackie and I can help you, and Mom can … Well, she can do things like make us some grub and bring us lemonade and other stuff women do when their men are working.”

  “I’ll have you both know I pound a mean hammer,” Robin felt obliged to inform them. If she was going to Cole’s farm, she fully intended to do her share.

  Cole looked perplexed for a moment, as if he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. “I’d love to have you come—if you’re sure that’s what you want.”

  Robin just nodded. All she knew was that she couldn’t bear to be separated from him any longer.

  “Be warned—the house is only half done. The plumbing isn’t in yet.”

  “We’ll manage, won’t we, Jeff?”

  “Yeah,” Jeff said eagerly. “Anyway, boys got it easy.”

  Cole laughed. “How long will it take you to pack?”

  “We’re ready now, aren’t we, Blackie?” Jeff almost jitterbugged across the front lawn in his enthusiasm.

  “Give me a few minutes to throw some things together,” Robin said, grinning. Jeff was smiling, too, from ear to ear, as he dashed past her into the house and up the stairs.

  Cole’s eyes held Robin’s in silent communication—until Jeff came bursting out of the house, dragging his sheets and quilt with him, straight from his bed.

  “Jeff,” she cried, aghast, “what are you doing?”

  “I took everything off my bed. I can go without plumbing, but I need my sleep.” He piled the bedding at their feet. “You two can go back to looking at each other. I’ll get everything else we need.”

  “Jeff,” Robin groaned, casting Cole an apologetic glance. “I’ll pack my own things, thank you.”

  “You want me to get your sheets, too?” he called from inside the house.

  “No.” She scooped up the bedding and hurried into the house, taking the stairs two at a time. She discovered Jeff sitting on the edge of her bed, his expression pensive.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Are you ever going to marry Cole?” her son asked.

  At the unexpectedness of the question, Robin’s heart flew to her throat, then slid back into place. Briefly she wondered if Cole had brought up the subject with her son, but instinctively knew he hadn’t. “W-what makes you ask that?”

  He shrugged. “Lots of things. Every time I turn around you two are staring at each other. Either that or kissing. I try to pretend I don’t notice, but it’s getting as bad as some of those movies you like. And when you were crying on the pier, I saw something. Cole had his arms around you and he was looking real sad. Like … like he wished he could do the crying for you. It’s the same look Grandpa sometimes gives Grandma when he figures out that she’s upset, and she doesn’t even have to talk. Do you know what I mean?”

  “I think so,” Robin said, casually walking over to her dresser drawer and taking out a couple of old sweatshirts. “And what would you think if I said I was considering marrying Cole?”

  Robin expected shouts of glee and wild shrieks, but instead her son crossed his arms over his chest and moved his mouth in odd ways, stretching it to one side and then the other. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.” She folded and refolded one of the sweatshirts, her heart pounding in anticipation. “It would mean a lot of changes for all of us.”

  “How many other people are involved in this?”

  Robin hesitated, not understanding Jeff’s concern. “What do you mean?”

  “Will I get an extra set of grandparents in this deal?”

  “Uh … probably. I haven’t talked to Cole about that yet, but I assume so.”

  “That means extra gifts on my birthday and at Christmas. I say we should go for it.”

  “Jeffrey Leonard Masterson, you shock me!”

  He shrugged. “That’s how a kid thinks.”

  Robin shook her head in dismay at her son’s suddenly materialistic attitude toward her possible marriage. She was still frowning as she stepped outside.

  Cole was in his garage, loading up the trunk of his SUV when Robin joined him. She handed him one small suitcase and a bag of groceries she’d packed at the last minute.

  Cole stowed them away, carefully avoiding her eyes. “I guess you said something to Jeff about us?” She could hear amusement in his voice.

  “Yes. How’d you know?”

  “He brought down a paper bag full of clothes and asked what kind of presents he could expect from my parents at Christmas. He also asked if there were any aunts or uncles in the deal.” Robin’s embarrassment must have showed, because Cole started chuckling.

  “That boy’s got a mercenary streak in him I knew nothing about,” she muttered.

  Cole was still grinning. “You ready?”

  She nodded, drawing an unsteady breath, eager for this adventure to begin. Jeff and Blackie were already in the backseat when Robin slipped into the front to wait for Cole.

  “Are we going to sing camp songs?” Jeff asked, leaning forward. He didn’t wait for a response, but immediately launched into the timeless ditty about bottles of beer on the wall. He sang ninety-nine verses of that, then performed a series of other songs until they left the freeway and wound up on a narrow country road with almost no traffic.

  Jeff had tired of singing by then. “Knock knock,” he called out.

  “Who’s there?” Robin said, falling in with his game.

  “Eisenhower.”

  “Eisenhower who?”

  Jeff snickered. “Eisenhower late, how about you?” With that, the ten-year-old broke into belly-gripping guffaws, as if he should be receiving awards for his ability to tell jokes.

  Cole’s mouth was twitching and Robin had to admit she was amused, too.

  “The turnoff for the ranch is about a mile up the road,” Cole explained. “Now remember, this is going to be a lot like camping. It’s still pretty primitive.”

  “You don’t need to worry,” Robin said, smiling at him.

  A couple of minutes later, Cole slowed, about to turn down the long driveway. It was then that Robin saw the sign. Her heart jumped into her throat and her hands started to shake.

  “Stop!” she screamed. “Stop!”

  Cole slammed on the brakes, catapulting them forward. “Robin, what is it?”

  Robin threw open the front door and leapt out of the car, running to the middle of the road. She stared at the one
word on the sign even as the tears filled her eyes.

  Cole’s farm was named Paradise.

  Eleven

  “Robin, I don’t understand,” Cole said for the third time, his dark eyes worried.

  “I bet my allowance she’s crying again,” Jeff muttered, poking his head out the side window. “Something weird’s going on with my mother. She’s been acting goofy all day. Why do you think it is?”

  “I’m not really sure,” Cole said as he continued to study Robin.

  For her part, Robin couldn’t take her eyes off the sign. Jeff was right about her crying; the tears streamed unrestrained down her face. But these were tears of joy. Tears of gratitude. Tears of acknowledgment. It was exactly as Cole had described. She’d reached up and God had reached down and together they’d come to an understanding. She’d finally resolved her dilemma.

  Unable to stop herself, Robin hurled her arms around Cole’s neck. Her hands roamed his face. His wonderful, wonderful face.

  Because her eyes were blurred with emotion, she couldn’t accurately read Cole’s expression, but it didn’t matter. Her heart spilled over with love for him.

  “Robin … “

  She didn’t let him finish, but began spreading a long series of kisses across his face, starting with his eyelids. “I love you, I love you,” she repeated between kisses, moving from his cheek to his nose and downward.

  Cole put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Robin was half-aware of the car door slamming and Jeff marching up the road to join them.

  “Are you two getting all mushy on me again?”

  Robin barely heard her son. Her mouth had unerringly found Cole’s.

  The unexpected sharp sound of a hand clap brought her out of her dream world. The kiss ended, and her eyes immediately went to Jeff, who was looking very much like a pint-size adult. His face and eyes were stern.

  “Do the two of you know where you’re standing?” Jeff demanded as though he’d recently been hired by the state police to make sure this type of thing didn’t happen. “There are proper places to kiss, but the middle of the road isn’t one of them.”

  “He’s right,” Cole said, his eyes devouring Robin. He clearly didn’t want to release her and did so with a reluctance that tugged at her heart.

  “Come with me,” Jeff said, taking his mother by the hand and leading her back to the car. He paused in front of the door and frowned. “Maybe she has a fever.”

  “Robin,” Cole said, grasping her hand, “can you explain now?”

  She nodded. “It’s the sign—Paradise. Tell me about it. Tell me why your grandfather named his place Paradise.”

  “I’m not sure,” Cole said, puzzled. “He lived here his whole life and always said this land was all he’d ever needed. From what I remember, he once told me he thought of this place as the Garden of Eden. I can only assume that’s why he named it Paradise.”

  Robin nodded, unsurprised by his explanation. “When Lenny and I were first married, we talked … we dreamed about someday buying some land and raising animals. Enough land for Jeff to have a pony and for me to have a huge garden. We decided this land would be our own piece of heaven on earth and … from that we came up with the idea of naming it Paradise.”

  Cole shook his head slowly, and she could tell he didn’t completely understand.

  “This afternoon, when I was standing on Fisherman’s Wharf, you suggested I talk over my feelings about our getting married with Lenny.”

  “What I suggested,” Cole reminded her, “was that you imagine what he’d say to advise you. I certainly didn’t expect you to really communicate with him.”

  “I know this won’t make any sense to you, but I’ve talked to Lenny lots of times over the years. This afternoon, what hit me so hard was the fact that Lenny would never answer me. That realization was what finally forced me to deal with the pain. To forgive Lenny for dying.”

  Jeff was looking at her in confusion, his mouth open and eyes wide.

  “Here you were wanting to marry me and I didn’t know what to do. I had trouble believing your proposal was prompted by anything more than the desire to replace the family you’d lost. I do love you, and I desperately wanted to believe you loved me—and Jeff. But I wasn’t sure ….”

  “And you’re sure now?”

  She nodded enthusiastically. “Yes. With all my heart, I’m confident that marrying you would be the right thing for all of us.”

  “Of course we’re going to marry Cole!” Jeff cried. “Good grief, all you had to do was ask me and I would’ve told you. We belong together.”

  “Yes, we do, don’t we?” Robin whispered. “Cole,” she said, taking both his hands with her own. “I’d consider it a very great honor to become your wife.”

  “Jeff?” Cole said, tearing his eyes away from Robin.

  The boy’s face shone and his eyes sparkled. “I’d consider it a very great honor to become your son.”

  Cole brushed his lips across Robin’s and then reached for Jeff, hauling him into his arms and squeezing him tight. Blackie started barking then, wanting out of the car. Robin quickly moved to open the passenger door, and the black Lab leapt out. She crouched down and wrapped her arms around his thick neck, hugging him. “You’re going to have a whole family now, Blackie,” she said happily.

  Two hours later, just at dusk, Robin was standing in the middle of the yard. She’d loved everything about Paradise, just as she’d known she would. The house and property were nothing like the place she and Lenny had dreamed about, but she hadn’t expected them to be. The four-bedroom house was much larger than anything they’d ever hoped to own. The land was covered with Ponderosa pine, and the rocky ground was more suitable to grazing a few sheep or cattle than planting crops.

  Cole was showing Jeff the barn, and Robin had intended to join them, but the evening was redolent with a sweet-smelling breeze and she’d stopped to breathe in the fresh cool air. She folded her arms and stood there, smiling into the clear sky. A multitude of twinkling stars were just beginning to reveal themselves.

  Cole walked quietly up behind her, and slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him. “Have I told you how much I love you?”

  “In the last fifteen minutes? No, you haven’t.”

  “Then allow me to correct that situation.” He nibbled the back of her neck gently. “I love you to distraction.”

  “I love you, too.”

  He sighed then and whispered hoarsely, “It was a difficult decision to marry me, wasn’t it?”

  Robin agreed with a nod.

  “Had I given you so many reasons to doubt me?”

  “No,” she said quickly, turning in his arms. She pressed her palms against his jaw. “I had to be sure in my heart that you weren’t trying to replace the son you’d lost with Jeff. And I had to be equally certain you loved me for myself and not because I was Jeff’s mother and we came as a package deal.”

  He shook his head decisively. “Jeff’s a great kid, don’t get me wrong, but there’s never been any question in my mind about how I felt. The first time we met, you hit me square between the eyes. I didn’t mean to fall in love again. I didn’t even want to.”

  “I don’t think I did, either,” Robin confessed.

  “Past experience taught us both that loving someone only causes pain. I loved Jennifer, but I could never make her happy. When we divorced I accepted my role in the breakup.”

  “But she had a drinking problem, Cole. You can’t blame yourself.”

  “I don’t, not entirely, but I accept a portion of the blame for what went wrong. It tore me apart to see Bobby caught in the middle, and in an effort to minimize the pain I didn’t fight for custody. He was an innocent victim of the divorce, and I didn’t want him to suffer any further distress. I was willing to do anything I could to spare him. Later, when I realized how serious Jennifer’s problem with alcohol had become, I tried to obtain custody, but before I could get the courts to move on it, the acci
dent happened. Afterward, I was left facing the guilt of having waited too long.

  “The thought of ever marrying again, having children again, terrified me. I couldn’t imagine making myself vulnerable a second time.” He paused, and a slow, gentle smile spread across his face, smoothing away the tension. “All of that changed when I met you. It was as if life was offering me another chance. And I knew I had to grab hold of it with both hands or live with regret forever.”

  “Oh, brother,” Jeff said as he dashed into the yard. “Are you two at it again?”

  “We’re talking,” Robin explained.

  “Your mouths are too close together for talking.” He strolled past them, Blackie trotting at his side. “I don’t suppose you thought about making me anything to eat, did you, Mom?”

  “I made sandwiches.”

  “Great. Are there enough for Blackie to have one?”

  “I think so. There’s juice and some corn chips in the kitchen, too.”

  “Great,” Jeff repeated, hurrying into the house.

  “Are you hungry?” Robin asked Cole.

  “Yes,” he stated emphatically, “but my appetite doesn’t seem to be for food. How long will you keep me waiting to make you my wife?”

  “I’ll have to call my parents and my brother so we can arrange everything. It’s important to me that we have a church wedding. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but I’d like to invite a handful of good friends and—”

  “How long?”

  “To make the arrangements? I’m not sure. Three, possibly four months to do it properly.”

  “One month,” Cole said.

  “What do you mean, one month?”

  “I’m giving you exactly thirty days to arrange whatever you want, but that’s as long as I’m willing to wait.”

  “Cole—”

  He swept her into his arms then and his mouth claimed hers in a fury of desire. Robin found herself trembling and she clutched his shirt, her fingers bunching the material as she strove to regain her equilibrium.

  “Cole …” She felt chilled and feverish at the same time. Needy, yet wealthy beyond her wildest dreams.

  “One month?” he repeated.