If I Fall

  He sat in his black SUV parked just around the corner from the café and watched as Jade got into her car. He was still reeling from the relief that she had lost the baby. Sometimes life just worked out favorably on its own.

  With all loose ends now tied, he should walk away, but he couldn’t stop himself from watching her. She had a way about her. Perhaps it was the glimpse of fierceness he caught every time he heard her speak or perhaps it was the vulnerability that swiftly followed.

  Originally, he’d thought she was nothing more than a ditzy blonde. Sure, she was a nurse and that took some brains, but outside of her job, she was a clumsy little kid with big tits who laughed at everything and took nothing seriously.

  However, in these past weeks, he discovered a side of her he hadn’t known existed. A side he grudgingly respected. She was strong, stronger than he’d assumed. Her short-winded displays of strength titillated him. She had a fire in her belly where their child had been. She was a feisty little mouse and he wanted to get her under his paws again.

  The game had changed and he wasn’t finished with her. This time, he’d go about it differently.

  He’d maintained very limited contact with her up until recently, but now he was ready to show her how perfect they could be together. He’d play his cards right and, slowly but surely, cement himself in her life.

  Every day he was making progress toward the inevitable outcome. Soon enough, she’d be his.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Jeremy was going to kill someone. Last he spoke to Jade she was getting in the shower and heading to bed. That was almost fifteen hours ago. She said she had some errands to run today and he assumed she meant last minute shopping. He never thought for a minute she would be doing something as reckless as running off with the asshole who may or may not be the man who attacked her.

  What was she thinking? Was she thinking at all?

  He’d been wrapping Christmas presents when Tyson called around noon. At first, he couldn’t even wrap his brain around what the guy was trying to tell him. When he realized Jade was missing, he immediately called her cell phone, but it went right to voicemail.

  It did the same thing when Kat called, which she’d done the minute she found Jade’s note in Mia’s bag. What Jeremy couldn’t understand was how such a thing ended up in his daughter’s backpack. It didn’t make any sense.

  They each questioned Mia, asking if she found the note and hid it in her backpack, but she promised she never saw it before and was now convinced she’d done something wrong. Of all the places to hide a note like that, Mia’s bag seemed absurd.

  Why even write a note? How about fucking communicating for once? For all he knew, she’d been kidnapped in the middle of the night.

  Kat used her father’s connections to get Nathan’s phone number, but his secretary said he wasn’t expected back until the following Monday, after the holiday. Furious, Tyson called back and demanded the secretary contact Nathan and have him return their call. The man was quite intimidating when his wife was upset, but no amount of intimidation made any of their phones ring.

  Trent approached. “I checked the cottage and found no evidence of forced entry. After keying through the electronic log it shows she left around ten a.m.”

  Jeremy frowned. “Mia leaves for school before then.” He looked at his watch and cursed. “She’s been gone for hours.”

  Trent laid a heavy hand on his shoulder. “She’ll turn up eventually with an explanation. Try to relax.”

  He was crawling out of his skin. If that motherfucker harmed even a single hair on her body he’d murder him. He’d aged thirty years in the past three hours, every passing minute taking its toll.

  Just let her get home safely. Please.

  Kat was speaking to the two police officers who’d been dispatched to the cottage. Jeremy couldn’t repeat himself anymore. He needed something to happen.

  Kat wrung her hands. “I always go through Mia’s bag before dinner. She knows that. She put it there on purpose.”

  The officer glanced at the sky and frowned. “But you found the note this morning?”

  She nodded. “My daughter had a half day. It’s Christmas break. I was going to wash her schoolbag. That’s when I found it.”

  “I see.”

  Jeremy grit his teeth. Kat was meticulous and, knowing her as well as he did, he had no doubt she’d emptied Mia’s bag last night around six or seven. That meant Jade had slipped the note inside sometime after that. That also meant she knew full well she was doing something reckless and didn’t plan on telling anyone, which made him livid.

  Not only did he plan on kicking the fuck out of Nathan Lithe, he was pretty sure he was going to lay into Jade—once assured she was safe. How could she do something so stupid?

  Pulling out his phone, he called her again, but there was no answer. He continued to pace, letting his anger seep into every step so his fear didn’t consume him.

  He needed to hear her voice—something—anything—so he knew she was safe. Any minute now he was going to snap.

  Where is she?

  Jade parked around the corner from her house, trying to comprehend all she’d learned. She now had some of the explanations she wanted but wasn’t any closer to finding the cocksucker that did this to her. She truly believed Nathan wasn’t her assailant. While he still wasn’t someone she fully trusted, she now shared an undeniable—if distasteful—connection with him.

  Glancing at the clock on the dashboard, she forced herself to put her newfound information on the back burner. There would be plenty of time to process later. Mia would be getting home from school soon and she needed to get the note out of her backpack before Kat stumbled across it. After everything Nathan confided, she owed it to him to hold up her side of the bargain. No one could ever know they met.

  Putting the car into drive, she distracted herself by going over her mental shopping list. Despite her Jewish upbringing, she loved the magic of Christmas, mostly because Mia made it so much fun and there weren’t anymore little kids in her family to spoil.

  As she pulled onto her street—“What the hell?”

  Two cop cars were parked outside of the cottage. Jeremy paced her sidewalk like a caged panther and Trent, the giant, was on her porch talking to Tyson who looked furious. Kat was rocking in the rocking chair beside him with her face in her hands. Was she crying? Jade spotted Mia and everything clicked.

  “Oh fuck,” she whispered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” She parked at the curb, her mind frantically thinking up one faulty alibi after another.

  Jeremy jerked open her door before she even shut the car off. “Are you okay? Tell me you’re okay. I swear to God, if that son of a bitch did something to you I’ll kill him!”

  Her adrenaline spiked. She never saw him so frantic. “I—”

  “Goddamn it, Jade! How did you even get in contact with Lithe and why the hell would you leave a note like that without telling anyone?” The volume of his voice rose as his relieved expression darkened and contorted. “Do you have any idea how dangerous he is? Christ, Jade! He could have kidnapped you! How could you have done something so stupid?”

  She jerked back as he screamed the last question in her face. Shock wearing off, she returned his scowl. Before she could respond—and oh, she would respond—a police officer approached. He looked to be in his mid-thirties and she found no comfort or security in his presence after everything she just learned from Nathan.

  “Ms. Shultz, would you mind stepping out of the car so we can ask you a few questions?”

  “Yes, I would mind. This has been a big misunderstanding and you may all leave, now.”

  “Ma’am, we can’t leave without a statement. Please step out of the car,” the officer insisted.

  Feeling cornered by not just the officer, but her irate boyfriend, she flung her seatbelt off. “Here’s my statement. I’m fine. I was finishing up some shopping and now I’m home.”

  The officer didn’t look impressed. “Who were
you shopping with?”

  “None of your business!”

  “Jade,” Jeremy warned and she shot him a cutting glare. “We found your note. We know you were with Nathan Lithe. You specifically requested we call the cops if—”

  “Well, what do I know? I’m just stupid!” Flustered, she hopped out of her SUV and slammed the door. “You have my statement. Now, I’d appreciate if you leave.” Turning back to Jeremy she snapped, “All of you.”

  Barreling up the steps, overwhelmed by the scene, she avoided eye contact with the others. As soon as she unlocked her door, the alarm shrilled. “Goddamn it!” She punched in the code and threw her purse on the table. Turning to the window, she found Tyson and Trent staring at her like she was crazy. “What are you looking at?”

  Kat peeked around Ty, her expression matching the others. Letting out a frustrated breath, she sighed and opened the door. “Are you coming, Kat?”

  Kat nodded and quickly slipped around the men. The moment she was in the house, Jade slammed the door. “He called me stupid!”

  “He said meeting with Nathan was stupid, Jade, and I can’t say I disagree with him. What were you thinking?”

  “You weren’t supposed to know that!”

  “Then why did you leave that note? You scared the hell out of us!”

  Taken aback by her friend’s hostility, she deflated. This was a disaster. “It was a precaution, in case something happened. You weren’t supposed to find it—at least not until tonight and by then I would’ve been back and destroyed it.”

  “Mia had a half-day and I was going to wash her bag.”

  Jade slowly shut her eyes, understanding dawning. “Shit.”

  Kat gaped at her. Then she shouted, “You could have been killed!”

  “Well, I wasn’t, okay? I’m sorry I scared you.” She rubbed her face and growled. “God, I should have never left a note!”

  “Why would you want anything to do with that guy? I don’t understand this. Please, help me understand, Jade. What would possess you to meet with someone who might have attacked you?”

  She really should have thought of a back up story before she got home. “He didn’t do it! Okay? He didn’t.” She’d completely broken her word. This was bad. “Look, just forget about all of this. I’m absolutely fine. I know this was my fault and I’m sorry I scared you, but I’m okay.”

  “How do you know he didn’t do it?”

  “Because I just do. I can’t tell you the details, but I know.”

  “Why, because he denied his involvement? Jade, Nathan Lithe’s a lawyer. He lies for a living. Why would you believe him?”

  “I gave him my word and I’ve already betrayed him. I can’t—”

  “Betrayed him?” Kat scoffed. “For what? What do you owe him? This makes absolutely no—”

  “Kat,” Tyson interrupted from the doorway.

  Great, more people to judge me.

  Tyson stepped into the kitchen and gently shut the door. “Why don’t you come home and cool off.” He sent a withering glare in Jade’s direction.

  Great, just great.

  “We’re just talking,” Kat said, crossing her hands over her belly.

  “No,” he corrected. “You’re fighting. Jade obviously doesn’t want our help with whatever’s going on right now, so I think you should come home. This afternoon’s been a nightmare for you and, while your friend may not realize it, getting this upset isn’t good for you.”

  Okay, that hurt.

  Guilt filled her stomach as she hung her head. “Kat, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I worried you. I shouldn’t have done that. Please, don’t be upset. For the baby’s sake, go home and rest. Ty’s right. I need to handle this by myself. I’ll call you later.”

  Kat slowly nodded. “I wish you would just tell me what’s going on.”

  She walked to her friend and hugged her. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad. I’ll come talk to you in a little bit. Right now, though, I need a minute to think.”

  Kat wiped at a tear that escaped her lashes and nodded again. As she left, Tyson stepped in front of the door, scowling down at Jade. “I know you’ve had a rough past few months, Jade, but you ever put my wife through something like that again and yell at her for caring, you and I are going to have a serious problem. You get me?”

  Feeling about two feet tall, she nodded. “Yes.”

  The door closed. She walked to the front window and everyone was gone. Even Jeremy’s Jeep was nowhere to be found. She had so many apologies to make and didn’t know where to begin.

  Pulling out her phone, she emailed Nathan with her phone number and asked him to call her as soon as possible. Her phone rang shortly after.

  “Jade? It’s Nathan. Is everything all right?”

  Jade exhaled. “Um, we have kind of a situation. They know I saw you.”

  “Who’s ‘they’?”

  “Kat, Tyson, and my boyfriend, Jeremy.”

  He let out a humorless laugh. “Jeremy must be the gentleman who hit me in the face.”

  Jade grimaced. “Yeah, that’s him.”

  “Should I expect a visit from him? Are you warning me to lock my doors?”

  “No, nothing like that.” She hoped she was telling the truth. “See, I took precautions in case something happened with you. They found out before I could get back to retrieve the information.”

  “What was the information?”

  “Uh…” Jade bit her lip. “That’s not really important. The point is, when I got home, they were all here. I told them you had nothing to do with what happened to me and that it was none of their business why I met with you.”

  “Did they believe you?”

  “Um, not really, but that doesn’t matter. I won’t tell them anything, Nathan. I know you weren’t involved and I … I trust you.” It sounded weird even to her own ears, but she wasn’t lying. She did trust him on some strange, fucked up level. Maybe because they were victims together.

  When he finally spoke he seemed not angry, but relieved. “I’m glad you trust me, Jade. I like you. I want to help you. I wish there was more I could do, but, like I said, the best thing for everyone is to forget about what happened and move on.”

  She took a shaky breath. It was strange, speaking of something so personal with a virtual stranger. A stranger she disliked, until a few hours ago. Funny how common tragedies forged bonds between people when they had little else in common. “I know where you stand.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Jeremy needed time to cool off after being asked to leave Jade’s property. He could tell when she hid behind a facade and fought to keep it together. That wasn’t the case. If she was frazzled at all, it was due to everyone’s concern—concern she provoked by leaving a note and electing to meet with someone no one trusted.

  He had absolutely no answers and he was still furious. Nathan, the little prick, had yet to return a single voicemail. Kat said he was a lawyer. Was he consulting for Jade? No, Jeremy knew it was something to do with the rape. That creep knew things. Did Jade now know what he knew?

  He had so many questions, but he wouldn’t get a single answer until he worked things out with her. He wasn’t going to apologize for his outburst when he spent half the morning worrying she might be dead.

  Of course, she wasn’t stupid. Her IQ trounced his. That didn’t mean she couldn’t make stupid decisions. This assumption that there was good in everyone was going to get her seriously hurt—more than she’d already been.

  Gritting his teeth, he stepped aside as a couple crept closer to the display he was blocking.

  “Pardon.”

  The mall was a thousand degrees. How fucking hard was it to pick up something he’d ordered weeks ago? The last thing he expected was to be in a fight with his girlfriend the day before Christmas.

  This disagreement could ruin their holiday—it could ruin everything—so of course he’d apologize for shouting in her face, but that didn’t mean he’d change his point of view.
r />   This was ridiculous. They were past keeping secrets. He didn’t understand why she couldn’t tell him what had transpired yesterday. The girl was a vault and he was locked out. It fucking hurt.

  “Sir.” The salesman finally returned and Jeremy pulled out his wallet and signed the necessary paperwork.

  As he left the jeweler, last minute shoppers hastily scurried around like a cluster of ants under a kid’s magnifying glass. He should have done this yesterday, but of course, yesterday he had to wait with the cops for his girlfriend to safely return home—totally normal.

  As he made it to his Jeep, parked the length of three football fields from the exit, he stuffed his bag in the trunk and drove to Jade’s.

  She wasn’t expecting him, which was clear the moment he walked into the cottage and found her sitting in a mess of paper, wrapping Mia’s presents. Her hair was a disaster and she was in sweats.

  “I thought you weren’t coming until later,” she said by way of greeting.

  Sliding his keys on the counter, he tried for calm. “I thought we should talk.”

  Snapping off a piece of tape, she secured the end of the wrapping paper. “Oh? About what?”

  “Jade, this is ridiculous.” She unrolled another length of paper and he stepped forward, stilling her hand before she could reach for the scissors. “Stop.”

  “What do you want, Jeremy? I have to get this done.”

  “I want you to take me seriously. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings yesterday but do my feelings count for anything to you? I was fucking scared and all you can do is give me the silent treatment and get upset that—”

  “You called me stupid.”

  “I said meeting with a man none of us trust without letting anyone know was stupid. There’s a difference and you know it. I didn’t call you stupid, so don’t act dumb and try to get out of this on a technicality. You owe it to me to explain what’s really going on.”

  Sitting back she sighed. “Fine. Meeting with Nathan wasn’t the smartest move. I’m sorry I made everyone worry, although I’d think you’d be pleased I took precautions.”