Our Only May Amelia

  You did that on purpose, he says, spitting out mud.

  I did not!

  You weren’t paying attention girl.

  It slipped, I say.

  Well, Kaarlo says, wiping the mud off his cheek, I guess I’m gonna slip too.

  He picks me up and tosses me into the piggery where I land facefirst in the muck. Matti appears as I am pulling myself up.

  Matti! I wail.

  Matti sets down the refreshments and rushes over to the pen.

  What happened Kaarlo? he says, taking in Kaarlo’s muddy front. Kaarlo glares at Matti and says, I don’t have to answer to you and stomps away, trailing mud.

  Kaarlo threw me in Matti! I say.

  Matti raises an eyebrow. Matti always takes my side, he is a nice brother, not like mean old Kaarlo.

  You look like one of the piglets May Amelia.

  I swipe at the mud on my face.

  Come on out of there, he says, and let’s get you cleaned up before Pappa sees you like this or there will be trouble for sure.

  I stand next to the pump and he pours buckets of water over my head.

  May, you gotta stop baiting Kaarlo. I’m gonna be gone soon and he’ll be the biggest one so you’ll have to mind him.

  I cannot imagine minding Kaarlo.

  But he’s never nice to me! I say.

  Well, sometimes you aren’t too nice to him either.

  But he’s not even my brother, I say loudly.

  Matti looks at me with disappointed eyes.

  And he’s not likely to forget that he’s not a brother with you constantly reminding him May.

  Kaarlo is Pappa’s sister Aili’s boy. When Aunt Aili and her husband Asmus came west, they had a real hard time, what with five children and a baby, and when they got to San Francisco they had to sell their luggage because they didn’t have enough money to get a railway ticket for the baby, who didn’t even need a seat when you think about it, ’cause he rested on his ma’s lap, but they had to buy one anyways. The family headed north and when they got to Astoria they borrowed some money from Pappa to pay for the boat fare on to Vancouver but they didn’t have enough for Kaarlo. Since Kaarlo was ten and the oldest they left him with us where he has been to this very day.

  Wilbert tells me that Aunt Aili is always writing letters to Kaarlo about how wonderful it will be when they can send for him, but they never do and that’s why Kaarlo is always in such a bad mood. Kaarlo’s folks must be real poor ’cause he’s seventeen now and we’re still stuck with him.

  It is sad indeed but I suspect Kaarlo would be ill-tempered even if Aunt Aili had fetched him back long ago. Maybe they really left him with us because of his spiteful nature. He’s not nice to anyone, not me or Wilbert or Ivan or Alvin or Wendell or Isaiah. Why he’s not even nice to Matti who everyone knows is the kindest Jackson boy.

  Kaarlo is really mad now and won’t abide me to be near for even one second of the day. He still teases me and says that I am uglier than any boy he’s met, even though he was the ugly one with slop all over his face. He is so mean, almost as mean as Pappa, but I don’t let him see me cry I go out to the hayloft in the barn and cry there. Wilbert says Just Ignore Him May.

  A few days later Wilbert, Wendell, Kaarlo and I have to go help out Uncle Aarno with his nets.

  Mamma says, This isn’t a convenient time for me to be lending you out right now May Amelia so be sure to be a help to your Uncle Aarno and then hurry on home.

  Mamma can do less and less around the house. Her back is always paining her and Pappa says she’s not to do any more lifting. This baby tires her out more ’cause it’s been so long since she had one in her belly. Wendell says that she should rest which leaves me with all the work.

  Uncle Aarno is a gillnetter, he catches salmon that swim in the Columbia. He uses special nets that tangle the salmon by their gills. Us children are to mend his nets and tan them so that they will last longer in the water.

  Uncle Aarno lives down the Nasel, past the Smith Island and that is where he keeps his bateau, the boat he uses for catching the salmon. He also runs the mail boat, which is called the General Custer, up and down these parts when he is not gillnetting. It is always a good day when we get a piece of mail from some relative far away. I often wonder how the letters travel all the way to get to our farm.

  When we arrive, Uncle Aarno is on his verandah with some knitted flax nets, and I can tell from the smell that he is boiling tanbark on his stove. Uncle Aarno’s house is very big and has the only full-round verandah in the valley. He bought the house after Eino Sjöblom killed himself, why Eino just hanged himself right there on the verandah. Uncle Aarno says that he sometimes hears the ghost of poor old Eino a-swinging from the verandah by his rope when it is still at night. It gives me a chill to think of him swinging in the wind.

  Uncle Aarno told Wilbert that Eino Sjöblom was in love with a Chinook woman and she wouldn’t have anything to do with him and so he killed himself. A sadder story I have never heard. Eino Sjöblom was famous around these parts because he was the first man to bring in a real iron cookstove. Wilbert tells me that he carried the cookstove for ten miles on his back.

  Hello children, says Uncle Aarno looking up from his nets and smiling. He is untangling his nets in the yard.

  Uncle Aarno looks just like Pappa, only older and kinder, even though he is really younger. He has light hair and laughing eyes. He has no children of his own since his wife Saara died in childbirth years back.

  Hello Uncle Aarno, Wendell says, are we knitting and dipping nets today? Everyone knows that Wendell has a good hand with knitting and mending the nets.

  He looks at us children and says, Why boys that is certainly what we are going to do. Are you going to be helping, May Amelia?

  I say, Yes I am Uncle Aarno, I can dip nets as good as any boy. Just you see.

  What about your dolly there, is she going to help dip too? It’s messy work you know.

  No, Susannah is going to set on your verandah and watch us.

  Kaarlo tries to scare me, he says, Tell your Susannah to watch out for old Eino swinging from the porch, that’s what she should be looking at, not us.

  Wendell says, Don’t speak ill of the dead Kaarlo.

  Yeah Kaarlo, don’t speak ill or his ghost will surely come and haunt you, I say, being clever.

  He’ll see your ugly face first and be so scared he’ll run away, Kaarlo taunts.

  All right children, Uncle Aarno says, enough of that talk. There’s work to be done and it sure ain’t gonna get done by itself.

  Uncle Aarno shows us how to take the nets and dip them carefully bit by bit into the boiled tanbark. The tanbark sets the flax so that the nets last longer in the water and are tougher. It sure is hard work ’cause the nets are really long and get tangled easily. The tanbark smells something awful and no matter how hard I try I end up getting more of it on me than on the nets. We spread the nets out to dry on the ground next to the house.

  At lunchtime Uncle Aarno brings out some oyster fritters and hätälepä, Finnish quick bread. We set on the verandah and eat.

  So May Amelia, Wendell says pushing his glasses up his nose, what are we going to sew for Susannah next?

  Wendell is smart and clever and so good at sewing that he will surely be a doctor. Wendell says that there are schools back east where a person can learn doctoring. I think he should go away to learn doctoring but I think I will be very sad to see him go. Wendell is my favorite brother after Wilbert; he is good at knowing my mind.

  I reckon a pirate suit, I say.

  Is your dolly gonna be a pirate? asks Uncle Aarno. Why not a princess or a bride or something more ladylike?

  That’s boring, Uncle Aarno. Ladies and princesses don’t get to have adventures because they get left behind. Susannah has got the taste for adventure like Uncle Henry. She wants to go to the East Indies and the Sandwich Islands too.

  Your Uncle Henry’s no pirate May Amelia except maybe to the Englishmen, Uncle Aarno
says. A sea life isn’t as exciting as you imagine. Nothing good to eat for weeks at a time and only smelly sailors for company.

  May’ll fit in just fine then, Kaarlo says with a smirk. She’s about as smelly as they come.

  Shut up Kaarlo, I say.

  But Uncle Aarno, Wilbert says, sailors get to see the whole world; they can go nearabout anywhere. Me and May are setting out to be sailors when we get old enough.

  Uncle Aarno laughs and says I suspect it’ll be a cold day indeed when Alma lets her girl go sailing around the world. But you never know children, it sure enough seems like the devil’s land here on the old Nasel when the winter’s biting through your socks. You never know when your bateau is going to freeze up now do you? You just never know.

  Uncle Aarno has had an exciting life, although he says that all the excitement Darn Near Killed Him. He stowed away on a ship called the Whistler bound to America from Finland. The Whistler wrecked off San Francisco and he was one of only two men who survived. He headed up to Nasel where Pappa lent him some money to start gillnetting, what with salmon being so popular and the cannery in Astoria being built right around that time.

  I liked his wife Saara and was real sorry when she died having the baby. Mamma says they did everything they could for her but nothing would stop all the bleeding, not cobwebs or Chinook teas or nothing. When Saara died Uncle Aarno was real sad and lonely. Pappa says that the old house is full of bad luck on account of Eino Sjöblom. I think he must be right—maybe old Eino’s ghost doesn’t want anyone else who lives in his house to be happy with a wife when he couldn’t.

  We work hard all day and are cleaning up when dark storm clouds roll in. It starts to thunder and rain something fierce-like.

  I guess you children will have to spend the night here, Uncle Aarno says. Your mother would have my hide if I sent you home in weather like this.

  The house is huge and dark. It hasn’t seen a woman’s touch in a long time and it looks it. There’s dust everywhere.

  Where am I sleeping? I say.

  You take the back bedroom May and one of you boys can bunk in with me and the other two can have the beds in the middle room.

  The stairs are made from carved mahogany. My bedroom is at the very-most back of the house, at the end of a long hallway. It has a cold-looking iron bed with a dusty spread.

  It doesn’t look like he’s cleaned since Aunt Saara died, I say.

  At least you have a good view of the Nasel, Wilbert says.

  Uncle Aarno hollers for us to come on down for supper. He has a huge pot of mojakka, fish chowder, bubbling. He ladles it out and we all sit down at the table. He gives us big glasses of clabbered milk, and pours himself some home brew.

  You sure are a good cook Uncle Aarno, Wendell says.

  Mamma often says that Wendell is the only one of us children with a speck of manners. He always knows just what to say.

  Do you ever get lonely out here all by yourself? I ask.

  Nope, Uncle Aarno says.

  Where did Eino Sjöblom sleep? Kaarlo asks rudely.

  I eye Kaarlo. I am wondering if he has something up his sleeve.

  In May’s room, Uncle Aarno says, chewing carefully.

  My room? I say. I can’t take another bite, even though the mojakka is so creamy and good. In my room? I am not going to sleep a wink.

  Uncle Aarno nods his head, it is the same way that Pappa nods.

  I turn to Wilbert. Maybe you can stay in my room tonight, I say.

  Are you scared May? Kaarlo taunts.

  I ain’t scared, I say.

  Maybe you’re scared of old Eino Sjöblom’s ghost getting you? Kaarlo says, digging at me.

  I said I’m not scared!

  Then why does Wilbert have to sleep in your room?

  He doesn’t. I can sleep all by myself.

  Well be sure not to have nightmares, Kaarlo says, smirking.

  I want to punch him.

  You can’t scare me, Kaarlo!

  Leave her alone, Kaarlo, Wilbert says.

  Yes, and mind your manners, Kaarlo, Wendell says.

  I’m lucky that I have real brothers who stick up for me.

  Kaarlo takes a bite of chowder and ignores me for the rest of the meal, which is the nicest thing he’s done all evening.

  I am sound asleep when I hear the creaking. At first I think it is part of my dream.

  Outside the wind is howling and the rain is falling in sheets. Then, over the wind and rain, I hear the creak. I don’t recognize the sound. But I hold my breath and there it is.

  Creak, swish, creak.

  Wide awake, I pull my overalls on over my nightshirt and slip into my shoes and creep out to investigate. It’s not coming from the other rooms; the only sounds out of them are snoring.

  As I walk down the stairs, I can hear the creaking getting louder and louder. The shadows of the trees are dancing against the windows and look like ghosts. I wish Susannah were here with me.

  Creak, creak.

  Someone there? I say. I’m scared now.

  But no one’s answering me, just the creaking. And it’s coming from the verandah.

  I slip out the side door into the rain and wind. The creaking is getting louder now—I’m almost on top of it. I leap around the corner of the house, around the verandah, and there is something swinging away in the dark wind.

  It’s old Eino Sjöblom swinging from the roof of the verandah!

  Aaaaaagh! I scream.

  I run back into the house and up the stairs as fast as my feet will carry me to Wilbert, who is no ghost.

  I burst into his room and with a pounding heart yell, Wilbert! Wake up! Wake up!

  I shake him hard. He squints sleepily at me.

  What’s the matter May? he asks. I’m soaked straight through and must look a Real Fright.

  Wilbert! Wilbert! Eino Sjöblom’s swinging on the front verandah, I Just Saw Him!

  Wilbert jumps up and we fly downstairs.

  Kaarlo is already there and he’s untying old dead Eino Sjöblom. He takes a look at me clutching Wilbert’s hand and starts cackling. Then a clump of hay from Eino Sjöblom’s hand falls to the floor.

  But it’s not Eino Sjöblom at all, it’s just a scarecrow.

  Kaarlo, Wilbert growls.

  Kaarlo is laughing so hard he is doubled over. Not scared of anything, huh, May Amelia? Kaarlo says, gasping for breath.

  I hate you, Kaarlo, I say, and stomp all the way back to bed.

  He is no kind of a brother, that’s for sure.

  The next night me and the boys are back at our house. It is Matti’s last night before he goes to Astoria with Aunt Feenie. I fix laksloda, sliced potatoes and salmon baked in milk sauce. It’s very tasty and is Matti’s favorite dish. Uncle Aarno gave me some Royal Chinook salmon which is the best kind. Everyone knows that salmon are the sure sign of a good fisherman and it is rare that Uncle Aarno has a bad day and catches plain old steelheads. His neighbor who is an old woman will call out to him Cleaning Steelheads Again Mr. Jackson? when he does, but yesterday he caught some salmon so I could cook us a special dinner for Matti.

  Everyone is at the table, and I am just setting out the food when Kaarlo says, A bunch of boys are leaving for Alaska on account of the gold rush; I’d like to try my luck.

  Pappa just keeps eating, doesn’t pay him any attention at all.

  The boys keep quiet and Mamma justs sits there, looking strained. I don’t know if I should keep on filling up the plates or if I should stay where I’m at. I decide it’s best to stay out of the way even though I want to say that I think it’s a fine idea for him to leave.

  It’s a good opportunity, Kaarlo says belligerently. And besides Matti’s getting to go to Astoria.

  Pappa bangs his fist on the table.

  Kaarlo, that gold rush is for fools with no sense, can’t you see that we’re barely making ends meet, isn’t it enough that there’s a new baby to feed you might as well just shoot your poor mother it’ll be the sa
me thing as letting her lose a son to some foolishness.

  She’s not my mother, Kaarlo says coldly. My real mother’s in Vancouver.

  Kaarlo! Aunt Feenie says with a gasp. Alma’s practically raised you, how can you say such a cruel thing?

  Mamma bends her head, and her hair falls over her slender neck like a waterfall on the Nasel, hiding her face. Why isn’t she defending herself? Mamma never lets anyone talk to her that way.

  I don’t care, Kaarlo says fiercely.

  Don’t Speak In That Tone, Pappa says. His face has gone all stormy.

  I look over at Wilbert and he shakes his head, a shake that says Keep Quiet.

  Aunt Feenie says gently, Now Kaarlo don’t be like that. You know Alma loves you. Don’t be mean and say such unkind things.

  Well, it’s the truth, Kaarlo says standing up. He points at Mamma. She’s not my ma and you’re not my pa. I don’t have to listen to you!

  You do so! Pappa shouts. We’re the only kin you have left in this world.

  A hush falls over the room as the color drains from Kaarlo’s face. Pappa puts his face in his hands. Mamma is weeping now, soft hiccoughy sobs.

  What do you mean? Kaarlo whispers, like he doesn’t want to know.

  Aili’s dead, Pappa says, his voice breaking.

  The room goes dead quiet. It is so silent that all I can hear is the sound of Wilbert’s stomach growling.

  Finally Kaarlo asks in a stunned voice, My Ma’s Dead?

  And your pa and the children too.

  Dead? All the kids?

  They’re all dead. They got the fever. Nearly half the town is dead.

  When? Kaarlo says, his voice trembling. His face is white and he is shaking.

  Six months ago.

  Why didn’t you tell me? Kaarlo’s voice is so raw with anger I do not even recognize it.

  We did what we thought was right, Pappa says, and he picks up his fork and starts eating again. Mamma is sitting real still, and there is a tear running down her face.

  Kaarlo looks full of rage and sadness and suddenly pushes back his chair and runs out of the room as if a demon is on his tail. Pappa looks around at all of us. We are all still, even Bosie.

  You children leave him be, you hear me?

  Kaarlo hasn’t been home all week.