Back to You

  Michael stuffed his hands in his pockets, his expression confused. “Where were you?”

  Lauren swallowed. “I…,” she began, and then she exhaled heavily, wiping the saturated hair away from her face. “I was at your apartment. Looking for you.”

  The confusion on his face was quickly replaced with concern. “I was taking a test. I got your message when I got out, and I called you a few times, but you weren’t picking up.”

  Lauren pulled her brow together and shook her head, but then she realized that in her haste leaving the house, she’d not only left her jacket behind, but her purse and her phone as well. A tiny ember of relief lit in her belly, sending little sparks of warmth up through her chest.

  “It made me nervous. That message, and then you not answering,” he said. “So…I came here.”

  She knew she should say something, but her throat was growing tighter by the second. All she could do was stand there like an idiot, blinking against the rain and her impending tears.

  His eyes were darting back and forth between hers. “Are you okay?” he finally asked.

  She forced her body to work, nodding her head slightly. “Yes,” she managed. But then her breath caught on a sob, and she choked out, “No.”

  “No?” he said, removing his hands from his pockets as he instinctively stepped toward her. But then he stopped abruptly, almost as if he realized he would be breaking a rule, and he stepped back, bringing his hands to his sides.

  The look in his eyes was so heartbreaking that Lauren’s restraint instantly crumbled. She threw herself forward, wrapping her arms around him as she buried her face in his chest and burst into tears.

  Immediately his arms came around her, pulling her into his body. “Hey,” he cooed softly as he ran his hand over the back of her head. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m here.”

  She nodded against his chest, but she couldn’t manage anything beyond the sobs that kept bursting from her lips.

  Suddenly her feet were off the floor, and then she was moving. Lauren curled up against him, tightening her hold around his neck as he carried her toward her front door. He reached behind his head, taking the keys out of her hand and opening her door, and then he placed her gently on the couch. Lauren brought her hands to her face, gulping for air as she tried to get her bearings, and she could hear the sounds of him in the bathroom, opening and closing cabinets.

  When she heard him turn the light off, she looked up to see him walking toward her with one of the large, plush towels from her linen closet. He removed his jacket and tossed it on the floor in the entryway before he leaned over and wrapped the towel around her shoulders, rubbing the tops of her arms vigorously.

  Lauren brought the ends of the towel up to her face, wiping away the rain and the tears, and she felt the couch dip as he sat next to her.

  She turned then, crawling into his lap as she buried her face in the crook of his neck.

  Michael sat back as he tucked her against his body, running his hand up and down her back as she continued to hiccup pathetically in the aftermath of her breakdown.

  When she finally achieved some semblance of control, she lifted her head and looked up at him. “I’m so sorry. For everything,” she whispered.

  “Don’t,” Michael said softly. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  “Yes, I do,” she said. “My reaction, the way I treated you that night, the way I’ve been treating you for the past two weeks. None of that was okay.”

  “Lauren,” he said, pulling the towel a little tighter around her, “you’ve been much nicer to me in these past few months than I ever deserved. Your reaction was mild, and long overdue, if we’re being honest.”

  She shook her head. “I understand why you left now. I need you to know that I forgive you.”

  Michael closed his eyes as he exhaled slowly, his shoulders softening in relief before he nodded. “Just know that it killed me,” he murmured as he lifted the corner of the towel and wiped underneath one of her eyes. “Every day. I kept wanting to call you, to come back home to you, to ask you to come out to me. You have no idea how much.”

  He swallowed, and Lauren gently placed her hand on his chest. “But the more I battled myself,” he continued, “the more time passed. And the longer I stayed away, the easier it was to convince myself that you’d gotten over me by then. And I thought it would be so unfair to you, to worm my way back into your life after you’d already moved on, especially since I didn’t think I could be what you needed. I painted myself into a corner, and I didn’t know how to fix it, or even if I could.”

  Michael looked down at her hand, and he lifted it to his mouth, kissing her palm before he placed it back on his chest and looked up at her. “But I never stopped loving you. Not for one second.”

  And then Lauren did something her heart had wanted her to do from the second she saw him standing in the vestibule of Learn and Grow holding his little girl.

  She kissed him.

  She felt his hand curl into a fist behind her back, gripping the towel, but his lips remained gentle as he lifted his chin and kissed her back.

  The second their lips touched, every hair on her body stood on end. It felt like an electric current was running through her, from the crown of her head to the bottom of her feet, and she pressed her body against him, bringing her hands to the side of his face.

  “I should have pushed,” she said. “I should have pursued you.” As she spoke, her lips ghosted over his. “But I thought that you didn’t want me,” she whispered. “And I was too hurt and too proud and too stupid.”

  She brought her mouth back to his, and he made a small noise in the back of his throat as he kissed her again, this time with a hint of the urgency she could feel in the fist that was still clenching the towel tightly behind her back.

  Lauren pulled back slightly. “So it was my fault too,” she said softly, and Michael shook his head, shifting his weight as he released his hand from the towel. He slid it up under her hair, gently winding it around his hand before he pulled lightly, forcing her to tilt her head back. When she felt the heat of his mouth on her throat, her eyes fluttered closed.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore,” he whispered against her skin. “We’re right where we’re supposed to be now.”

  And when Lauren brought her head back down, their mouths met in a searing kiss that confirmed what he had just reassured her of.

  This was exactly where she belonged. Because the way he was holding her, the way his mouth felt on hers, made out everything else she’d ever known of contentment feel like a sham.

  She felt his fingertips curl under the hem of her shirt, and when he slowly slid it up her abdomen, she broke contact and lifted her arms, allowing him to peel the soaking garment from her body.

  “Michael,” she breathed as she came back to him, and he exhaled heavily as his hands came to the sides of her waist.

  “Should we…?” he asked, glancing down the hall.

  “No,” she sighed, kissing him again. “Here. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

  Michael wrapped one arm securely around her back and supported her head with the other before shifting his weight from the couch and lowering them onto the floor.

  “That night with you,” he said, kissing across her collarbone. “Nothing compared to it. Nothing ever came close.”

  “I know,” she breathed. And she did. Because they hadn’t done anything but kiss, and she could already feel it. The thing that was missing with every other man. The thing that made her heart come alive in her chest and her body thrum with emotion and her soul feel like it was home.

  Michael kissed a slow path across her chest and down the line of her stomach, and by the time he was unfastening the button to her jeans, she could feel the rapid beat of her heart pulsing throughout every part of her body.

  He slowly peeled away her sodden jeans before bringing his hands back to her body. He was touching her like she was porcelain, looking at her as if she were sacred, and she la
id there, trembling beneath his hands while he reacquainted himself with her body.

  When she couldn’t stand it any longer, she sat up and began removing his clothing. She tried to be as gentle as he had been, but her need for him had taken over entirely, and she found herself jerking the garments from his body in rushed, clumsy movements.

  He grinned at her, helping her remove the last of his clothes before he lowered her back to the floor.

  Lauren brought her hands to his waist, looking up at him. “This is real?” she asked.

  It seemed like such a silly thing to say, but having everything she wanted fall into place, especially after so long, felt too good to be true. She wasn’t even sure what she was asking him: Were they really about to do this? Was he feeling what she was feeling? Was everything about to change?

  He rested his weight on his elbows as he cradled her head in his hands. “Yes,” he whispered, as if in answer to all three.

  She closed her eyes and tightened her hold on him.

  “Open your eyes. Look at me,” he whispered.

  She did as he asked, and in one slow, smooth movement, their bodies were connected.

  “God,” he breathed, dropping his head to her shoulder, and she tightened her legs around his hips, urging him forward.

  As soon as he began moving, Lauren was completely overcome. On the one hand, she had waited so long to be with him again, but at the same time, it seemed like they had never been apart, like there had never been anyone else but him.

  She was instantly spellbound, completely lost. Everything else in her world fell away, and the only thing that existed or even remotely mattered was Michael, finally there with her, his hands traveling over her body and the brush of his lips everywhere he could reach.

  She felt like she was being worshipped.

  The last time they had been together, he had been so careful. This time, there was a confidence in his movements and determination behind his actions. He could read her so easily; he understood exactly what she needed and when, and he knew just how to prolong the intense sensations he was giving her, drawing out every feeling until it was almost unbearable. And when he knew she couldn’t take anymore, he doubled his efforts until he drove her over the edge, kissing her passionately and swallowing every moan she offered up to him.

  There were no words for what Lauren felt in that moment. It was far beyond just physical pleasure, encompassing every square inch of her body until she felt like she might burst out laughing and crying simultaneously in its aftermath. But instead she focused all of her remaining energy on making him feel the way he had just made her feel.

  It wasn’t long before she felt his body begin to tense, and when the slow, steady rasp of his breath grew rapid, she pulled him down to her, bringing her lips to his ear.

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  Then he was gone, pulling her against his body as he gave himself over to the release. Michael fell forward, his overworked muscles trembling with the effort of keeping his weight off of her until finally he rolled onto his back, pulling her against his side.

  Lauren placed her hand on his stomach, her breath fast and heavy, and she could feel his heart racing against her cheek.

  “Jesus Christ,” he finally said, and Lauren laughed softly as she closed her eyes.

  “I know.”

  “I thought I built it up in my head,” he said through labored breath. “What it felt like to be with you.”

  She shook her head. “To think we could have been doing this for years.”

  Michael groaned softly. “Don’t remind me what an idiot I am.”

  Lauren smiled. “You’re not an idiot. I kind of like you.”

  He burst out laughing. “You kind of like me?”

  “Little bit.”

  He laughed again, pulling her further into his side as he pressed his lips against the top of her head. After a minute, he said, “What made you approach me that day?”

  “Hmm?” she asked as she lazily trailed her fingertips over his chest.

  Michael shifted as he placed his hand behind his head and looked down at her. “In high school. I’ve always wondered about that. Why did you give me those notes?”

  Lauren smiled as she realized what he was talking about. “Because you looked so sad the day before.”

  “Sad? How do you figure?”

  “Not when you were flinging desks across the room,” she clarified, and she felt his chest bounce with laughter beneath her. “I meant after that, when you were sitting in the parking lot.”

  “Ahh, that’s right,” Michael said slowly, nodding his head. “I forgot about the part where you stalked me.”

  Lauren reached up and pinched the inside of his arm, and he yelped out a laugh as he ripped it out of her reach. She went up on her elbow, laying partially on his chest as she looked down at him. “You didn’t look so scary then. You looked like you needed a friend. So I wanted to do something nice for you.”

  Michael reached up to touch her face just as she added, “I had no idea you would turn out to be such an asshole.”

  He raised his eyebrows as she looked down at him fighting a smile, and then suddenly both of his hands were on her waist as he tickled her. She squealed loudly as she tried to push off of him, but he shifted his weight so he was on top of her, pinning her down and continuing the torturous movement of his fingers up and down her sides as she screeched with laughter and gasped for air.

  When he saw the tears at the corners of her eyes, he finally stopped, rolling off of her as he pulled her back on top of him with a laugh.

  Lauren pushed herself up on her hands as she attempted to catch her breath, and he smiled up at her, swiping the hair out of her face as he leaned up and kissed her.

  When his mouth transitioned from tender to insistent, Lauren pulled back slightly.

  “Okay, this isn’t helping me catch my breath,” she exhaled, and he chuckled softly, shifting their weight so she could rest her head on his chest. Michael slowly pulled his fingers through her hair, and Lauren sighed and closed her eyes.

  “So,” Michael said as his fingers lulled Lauren closer and closer to sleep. “What happens now?”

  “What do you mean?” Lauren murmured softly, and she felt his chest rise beneath her as he inhaled deeply.

  “I mean, with us. What happens now?”

  Lauren lifted her head, resting her chin on his chest as she looked at him.

  She did her best to keep a straight face as she said, “Oh, come on. You’re not going to get all clingy on me, are you?” She bit the inside of her cheek as she watched the shock register on his face before she said, “I don’t know what you were looking for, but I just needed a little stress relief.”

  He stared up at her for a second before the corners of his mouth twitched, and then he rolled them so he was on top of her again.

  “Stress relief?” he asked as he settled his hips between her thighs. “That’s all this was?”

  “‘Fraid so,” Lauren said, fighting every urge in her body to press up against him.

  He smiled. “Well,” he said, lowering his head as he gently dragged his teeth over the skin beneath her ear, “I heard that going for a master’s degree can be pretty stressful.”

  “It’s torture,” she breathed, her eyes fluttering closed.

  She felt his lips curve into a smile against the skin of her throat. “Could be that you might need stress relief on a regular basis then,” he said as he kissed his way up the column of her neck.

  Lauren dropped her head back. “I couldn’t agree more,” she said. “It’s a good thing batteries are on sale at Target this week.”

  His head snapped up as he looked at her, and she burst out laughing as she hooked her hand behind his neck and pulled him down to her. “I love you,” she said against his lips.

  She felt him smile before he kissed her softly, and with a gentle shift of his hips, he reconnected their bodies.

  “I love you too,” he whispered.
“Always have.”

  And when his mouth found hers again, slow and reverent in the darkness, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind it was true.

  May 2015

  “Hey, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day!”

  “Thank you, sweetheart,” Lauren’s mom said. “I just got your card. Daddy and I are still laughing.”

  Lauren smiled as she slid a little further beneath her comforter, shifting the phone to her other ear. “I cracked up in the middle of the store. In fact, I made such a scene that two people came over to pick the card from the shelf and read it themselves.”

  Lauren’s mother laughed. “I’m putting it up on the fridge. Your brother will get a kick out of it later.”

  “Hey, Laur?” Michael called from just outside the bedroom door. “You want coffee?”

  “Is that my son-in-law?” her mother asked.

  “No, it’s some random guy I picked up at the grocery store last night. He looked kind of cute, so I figured why not?”

  “Very funny,” her mother drawled, and Lauren laughed.

  “Well, who else would it be?”

  “Put him on,” she said. “Daddy wants to get central air this summer, and he’s set on doing it himself. I’m hoping I can get Michael to talk him out of it.”

  Lauren rolled her eyes. “Michael?” she called.

  A second later, he popped his head into the bedroom. “Yeah?”

  “My mom wants to talk to you so she can get you in the middle of an argument between her and my dad regarding central air installation.”

  He laughed as he walked farther into the room and reached for the phone she outstretched to him. “Hey, Ma,” he said before he mouthed “Coffee?” to Lauren. She nodded and he smiled before saying, “I refuse to take sides before I hear all the facts.”

  Lauren smiled, and he winked at her before he left the room with the phone tucked between his shoulder and his ear.

  She closed her eyes and reached her arms over her head as she pointed her toes, stretching her body before letting it fall limp with a contented sigh. Her eyes were still closed when she heard a tiny knock on the door, and she cracked one eye and lifted her head to see Erin standing in the doorway.