Freedom's Light

  They walked along the rocky path to the beach. Hannah couldn’t take her eyes from her new daughter, and Birch steadied her several times as she stumbled. He helped her into the round-bottomed coble and rowed them across the inlet.

  Hannah was relieved Ephraim’s wife was not in evidence at the general store. Ephraim exclaimed over Charlotte’s beauty and helped them pick out needed supplies. They purchased a small bed, blankets, bottles, nappies, clothing, and myriad other small items. Hannah was shocked at the total, but Birch just peeled off pound notes and thrust them in the shopkeeper’s hand. Then they stopped at a farm on the edge of town and bought a goat.

  Charlotte was beginning to fret when they finally got back home. Hannah was thrilled to see she had dark eyes. She would think of Birch every time she looked into those eyes. She changed the baby’s nappy while Birch took a stab at milking the goat. He was just outside the open kitchen window, and she had to suppress a giggle when she heard him berate the goat for trying to chew his coat.

  He came in looking a bit worse for the wear. His coat was frayed where the goat had chewed it, and his dark hair was loose on his shoulders. “The goat ate my ribbon,” he said with a scowl when he saw the question in her eyes. The frown turned to a grin when she giggled. “You shall see, mistress,” he said teasingly. “She will eat anything. So beware!”

  She giggled again, and he just shook his head. He took a step closer and touched her chin. “You will make a fine mother, Hannah. I shall remember you here with Charlotte.”

  Her heart sank at his heavy tone. He was leaving. “You are going?”

  He nodded. “I must. We weigh anchor in an hour. My men will be wondering where I am.”

  “Do you know when you will be back?” She wanted to hold him here with her a few more moments. Impressing his image in her mind, she stared at him through a sparkling sheen of tears. Her pirate. Biting her lip, she forced the tears away. She would not send him off with tears.

  “Mayhap in the fall.” He stared into her eyes, then stroked her cheek.

  Hannah trembled at his touch. He bent his head and brushed her lips with a soft kiss. “Take care, my Hannah. You hold my heart.”

  “You hold my heart.” The poetic words pierced her soul. She clung to him, and the tears spilled over. “I, too, hold you in my heart.”

  Before he could respond, a knock sounded at the door. She pulled away and went to answer it. Nathan. His smile faded when he saw the babe in her arms and Birch standing just beyond her.

  “Have I come at a bad time, Hannah?”

  She wanted to tell him to leave, but she just shook her head. “Of course not, Nathan. Come in.”

  She introduced the men. “Captain Meredith has brought me a new daughter,” she said proudly. She held Charlotte up for Nathan’s inspection.

  He frowned. “Methinks you do not need to take in some captain’s by-blow.” He shot a glare at Birch. “We shall have children of our own one day soon. I would not have you concerned with wiping the snotty nose of a guttersnipe.”

  Hannah gasped, hurt and rage narrowing her vision. She wanted to glance at Birch to see if he believed she was marrying this man. “How dare you! I have never promised to wed you. You have no right to dictate anything to me.” How could he say such things of this innocent babe? “I would like you to leave, Mr. Gray.”

  “Who is this man,” he demanded. “Is he the reason you refuse my suit week after week? Do not bother to deny it. I can see the truth in your face. This is the same captain with whom you made a spectacle of yourself last fall, is that not right?”

  “The lady asked you to leave her home.”

  The rage in Birch’s face frightened Hannah. Birch must not do anything to jeopardize himself. He was an outsider here and a Tory.

  “Just go, Birch,” she said quietly. “I shall handle this.” She turned to Nathan. He had deceived her. She would never have imagined he could be so angry and jealous. That part of his personality had been well hidden from her. “Please leave, sir.”

  “Oh, I shall leave. But I will be back with the town elders. You will not escape their judgment so easily this time. I will not defend you again, Hannah.” He stomped toward the door and slammed it behind him.

  Birch came up behind her and put his arms on her shoulders. “I have done you no favors this trip. You will have more trouble now.”

  She gave a long, low sigh. “In truth, he will agitate the elders against me. But they were already angry when they saw me in breeches. I was painting the lighthouse when a ship needed rescuing. The townspeople all saw me dressed immodestly.”

  “I should like to have seen that sight,” he said with a twinkle in his dark eyes. “Come away with me, Hannah. We will take the goat and the babe and sail the seas together.”

  A wild longing gripped her, and she trembled with the temptation of it. She swallowed hard. “I cannot, Birch. I am needed here, and there is still the matter of your relationship with God. He has not yet given me leave to follow my heart. He may never.”

  His face darkened. “God, always God. Is he so important to you, Hannah? What of me?”

  A sob tore from her throat. “He is everything to me, Birch. I would not disobey him and hinder him from his work in your life.”

  “He has no place in my life,” he spat out. “He has taken everything from me and still withholds the thing I covet most.” He spun on his heel and stormed out the door.

  Hannah flinched at the slam of the door. Tears trickled from her eyes and dripped onto the folds of Charlotte’s nappy. Why must their times together always end in pain and discord? She shook her head wearily and went upstairs. She spent the rest of the hours until bedtime arranging the baby’s room and trying not to think of Birch. It was difficult with this tiny reminder.

  The next morning she fed the child and dressed in her most somber gown and stomacher. She was ready when the men came for her.

  CHAPTER 23

  Lydia laughed gaily and smiled at her guests as she moved through the party and mingled in the crowd like the skilled hostess she had become, but she felt anything but happy. How was she to tell Galen? Her stomach roiled at the thought.

  Hugh had been patient with her for two months, but his patience was gone. The house he had provided was lovely, with high ceilings and imported rugs, pretty things and tasty delicacies for her, but Hugh expected something in return. Something she was unable to give. Why had she not expected something like this to happen? She had been foolish. Willful and foolish. Tears pricked the back of her eyes, but she suppressed them. She must not disgrace herself further.

  “Having a good time?”

  Lydia jumped. Hugh Montgomery had come up behind her in utter silence. He often did that, moving so quietly through the house like a cat, and she would turn and find him there. It was quite unnerving. She forced a brittle smile. “Lovely.”

  “You look a little pale. Are you feeling well?” His pale-blue eyes bored into hers. “I wouldn’t want anything to spoil our evening. Especially . . . later.” He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “Our guests will be leaving soon.”

  Bile rose in her throat. She couldn’t go through with it. She just couldn’t. Galen would understand when she told him the reason. But how could she tell him when he avoided her? She stared at him with longing. He stood near the window laughing with two ladies who were obviously besotted with his blond good looks. Jealousy tugged at her heart. He didn’t look at her that way anymore. Now he stole in by cover of night and was gone before daybreak.

  She smiled until she thought her face would crack. Hovering as near Galen as she dared, she waited for an opportunity to talk to him. He glanced at her several times, and she tried to signal him with her eyes, but he always turned away. Near tears, she wandered away and slipped across the hall to the library. After shutting the door behind her, she sat in a chair in the darkness and buried her face in her hands.

  Sobs shook her body, and she hugged herself to keep them quiet. It would never do
for the guests to see her terror and despair. After a few moments she took a deep breath and stood. She would have to smile again and go back before Hugh missed her. With her hand on the doorknob, she felt it turn and stepped back into the shadows. A dark figure entered the room, but she stayed silent until she heard a whisper.

  “Lydia, are you in here?”

  Galen. He had seen the plea in her eyes and come to her. She rushed forward with a soft moan. “Here I am, my love.”

  He shut the door behind him. “What is wrong with you? There was no missing the way you were mooning over me, and I had no choice but to follow you. You must stop it. If Montgomery were to find us, I would be sent to the front of the fighting. Is that what you want?”

  “No, no, Galen. But I had to speak with you.” She wrung her hands. “Hugh presses me. He says he is staying with me this night. I cannot do this when I love you.”

  “You should have thought of that before you agreed to this plan, Lydia. Now wipe your eyes like a good girl, and pull yourself together. We must go back to the party. By this time tomorrow, you will wonder what all the fuss was about.” Galen spoke to her as though to a recalcitrant child and took her arm.

  She wrenched her arm from his grasp. “No, Galen, you do not understand! I-I am with child.” There. She had said the words, though she wished she might have broken the news to him more gently.

  “With child? You are with child?” Galen was no longer whispering but nearly shouting. “You little fool! How could you let this happen?” He took her by the shoulders and shook her. “You listen to me, Lydia! You are going to wipe your face and go back to that party with a smile. You will coo and woo Montgomery this night. When he discovers you are breeding, he will think the child is his. Do you understand me?”

  She stared at him in disbelief. The moonlight through the window illuminated his face, eyes bulging and mouth twisted with anger. She swallowed hard and nodded.

  The door swung open, and a figure stepped through and shut the door again. “I, too, understand, Galen. Now I finally see why Lydia turns from my kisses and caresses.”

  Hugh Montgomery looked like a vengeful fiend in the moonlight. His lips were drawn back to reveal his teeth, and she could see the glare of his eyes. Lydia’s vision doubled and the room swam. She clung desperately to consciousness. She must not faint. Curling her fingers around the back of a chair in front of her, she took a deep breath.

  Galen took a step back. “Major, I know not just what you heard, but—”

  “Do not bother with trying to deceive me further, Lieutenant. You were trying to pass your by-blow off on me. Obviously, you have been enjoying Miss Huddleston’s favors while I have been paying the piper.” Montgomery spat out the words.

  “I had no idea of this until tonight, Major,” Galen said.

  Montgomery glared at Lydia. “So, miss, tell me the truth. I will be able to tell if you are lying, and you will not like the consequences. Have you entertained this man since you moved here?”

  Lydia had no strength for lies. His merciless stare left her legs weak. “Yes, Major.”

  “How many times?” The implacable voice demanded an answer. Even though Galen threw her a pleading glance, she could not refuse to answer. “At least three times a week,” she whispered.

  Montgomery shook his head. “I am a fool, a bloody fool.” He drew a deep breath. “You will pack your belongings and be gone this night, both of you. I do not want to ever look on either of you. Lieutenant, I will transfer you to General Howe’s unit, effective immediately. I care not what you do with your strumpet.” He turned and stalked from the room.

  Lydia crumpled to the floor. She had failed Galen. He would go into the heat of the battle after all, and her baby would be fatherless. She burst into noisy sobs.

  “Fie, you cry now. Why could you not have shed those tears sooner and saved us this disgrace?” Galen said through tight lips. “If you had begged him, he might have relented.”

  She couldn’t answer him; she had no strength for words. “We can go away from here, Galen. I can come with you as other women do. When we are wed and the babe is born, we will forget this rocky start.”

  He stared down at her incredulously. “Are you mad? Do you think I would wed you when you have lost me everything?” He turned away from her. “I cannot speak to you now, or I would throttle you.” He strode from the room and slammed the door behind him.

  She stared at the shut door and stumbled to her feet. He couldn’t leave her. He loved her, and she loved him. They belonged together. She pulled the door open, and a group of curious onlookers stared at her ravaged face. She stumbled past them and hurried up the steps. She would gather her things and go back to their home. Galen would have calmed down by then.

  In a near frenzy she stuffed her clothes into her valise, snatched up her cape, and ran back downstairs. The guests had departed and she saw Montgomery, his head bowed, sitting in front of the window. She hesitated at the sight of his dejection. He raised his head and saw her standing there.

  “I really cared about you, Lydia,” he said with a twisted smile. “I had even thought to wed you.” He gave a short bark of laughter. “I, the son of an English earl, was ready to wed another man’s doxy.”

  Her face flamed at the term. She was no doxy. Hadn’t she proved that by keeping herself only for Galen? She stood mutely, unsure of what to say.

  He scowled. “Take your pity and leave me.” When she hesitated, he stood and pointed a finger toward the door. “Go, I tell you. Go to your lover and leave me in peace. If I see you again, I shall offer you to the men in camp.”

  She gulped, knowing it was no idle threat. “I-I did like you, Hugh,” she said in hushed tones. “If I had met you before Galen, mayhap—” She broke off at his glare of rage. “Farewell.”

  She took her valise and let herself out into the heavy spring air. The black night closed in on her, and she hugged her valise to her chest. She had never been out at night in New York unaccompanied. If she had money, she would have hailed a carriage. The rocks and stones bit through her thin slippers and hurt her feet before she’d gone two blocks, but she hurried on. She had to get to Galen.

  A candle glowed in the parlor of the small house she had thought of as home. Galen was here. A wild tide of joy gripped her heart. Until that moment she hadn’t realized how fearful she was that he would just leave her behind. The door was unlocked, so she let herself in. She set her valise down by the front door, then tiptoed into the parlor.

  Galen looked up. “I thought you would come.” He shook his head. “What are we to do, Lydia?”

  She hurried toward him and knelt at his feet. “We will be all right, my love. We have each other. And Hannah. She would help us, she and her captain.”

  His head jerked toward her. “Her captain? Meredith has come back?”

  She nodded. “I think they will wed.”

  “Never.” His blue eyes narrowed. “I shall have a word with Molly, and we shall see what we can do about ridding ourselves of the good captain.”

  Lydia frowned. “Why do you care, Galen? Hannah’s nothing to you.”

  He shook his head again. “You weary me, Lydia. You are like water dripping on stone. I must get away from you before you wear me down to nothing.”

  He wasn’t making any sense. She took his hand and kissed the palm. “Come to bed, love. Things will not seem so grim come the morrow.”

  “You go to bed, Lydia. I shall be gone when you awaken.” He rose and picked up a bag by the door. “I do not intend to fight. Mayhap Washington’s troops can use me.”

  Lydia gasped. “You would betray England?” She stood and followed him to the door.

  He chuckled, a dry rattle with no real mirth. “It would be a way to keep my head on my shoulders. But no, I would not do that. I will offer my services to Howe as a spy. Methinks he can use me there.”

  “You cannot leave me, Galen.” She clutched at him with desperate hands. “Take me with you.”

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nbsp; He seized her wrist and tore her hand from his arm. “I should never have taken you in, Lydia. You have become like a viper in my bosom. I do not want to ever see you again.” He stomped from the room without a backward glance.

  She cried out and ran after him, but he shook her off and slammed the outer door in her face. She wrenched it open, but he disappeared in the fog. Eyes burning and throat sore from sobbing, she fell to the floor in a paroxysm of weeping. She had thought she had no more tears left, but she was wrong.

  After several long moments, she pulled herself wearily to her feet and shut the door. She felt lifeless, drained. What was she to do? She had no money, no friends. The so-called “friends” she had made while with Hugh wouldn’t help her. If she went home to Hannah, her sister wouldn’t turn her away, not even with a babe in her belly. Of course, she’d have to take whatever punishment the town elders ordered, but anything would be better than being alone. But Gurnet was too far to walk, and she had no money for a stagecoach.

  She shivered and went up the stairs. She would think of something tomorrow. She crawled into bed and wept again at Galen’s scent on the sheets.

  Vendors hawking their wares on the streets below awakened Lydia. The sun was high overhead when she pushed back the bedclothes and stumbled out of bed. She threw open the shutters and looked down onto the street. The newsboy shouted about the latest battle, carriages rattled across the cobblestone streets, and soldiers practiced their movements on the field behind the house. Everything seemed so normal, so familiar. But the reality of her situation seemed all the more dire against the normalcy of the day.

  She was penniless, friendless, and pregnant. Her situation couldn’t get much worse. She pulled her gown and petticoat over her shift and rummaged for her stomacher. Her stockings had a hole, but she didn’t care. She combed her hair and put it back up, then went downstairs to find something to eat.

  There was not much food in the kitchen. A crust of bread and some tea was all she could find. What had Galen eaten? After she’d finished, she took a deep breath and sallied forth to see what could be done about her situation. By two o’clock she was disheartened. Hugh refused to see her, as did the few women she would have called her friends. They had all been at the party last night and knew of her fall from grace. Her last hope was Major Grayson, who had spoken kindly with her on several occasions. She assumed he would refuse to see her as well, but she had to try.