Soldier''s Pay

  She entered the study. The rector sat in his desk, a pen poised above an immaculate sheet, but he was not writing. His face was propped on one great fist and his gaze brooded darkly upon the opposite wall.

  She stood beside him, then she touched him. He started like a goaded beast before he recognized her.

  “This had to come, you know,” she told him quietly.

  “Yes, yes. I have expected it. We all have, have we not?”

  “Yes, we all have,” she agreed.

  “Poor Cecily. I was just thinking of her. It will be a blow to her, I’m afraid. But she really cares for Donald thank God. Her affection for him is quite pretty. You have noticed it, haven’t you?”

  “Yes, yes.”

  “It’s too bad she is not strong enough to come every day. But she is quite delicate, as you know, don’t you?”

  “Yes, yes. I’m sure she will come when she can.”

  “So am I. Thank God, there is one thing which has not failed him.”

  His hands were clasped loosely upon the paper before him.

  “Oh, you are writing a sermon and I have interrupted you. I didn’t know,” she apologized, withdrawing.

  “Not at all. Don’t go, I can do this later.”

  “No, you do it now. I will go and sit with Donald. Mr. Gilligan is going to fix a chair for him on the lawn today, it is so nice out.”

  “Yes, yes. I will finish my sermon and join you.”

  From the door she looked back. But he was not writing. His face was propped on one great fist and his gaze brooded darkly upon the opposite wall.

  Mahon sat in a deck chair. He wore blue glasses and a soft, limp hat concealed his brow. He liked to be read to, though no one could tell whether or not the words meant anything to him. Perhaps it was the sound of the voice that he liked. This time it was Gibbons’s History of Rome, and Gilligan wallowed atrociously among polysyllabic words when Mrs. Powers joined them. He had brought a chair for her, and she sat, neither hearing nor not hearing, letting Gilligan’s droning voice soothe her as it did Mahon. The leaves above her head stirred faintly, agitated upon the ineffable sky, dappling her dress with shadow. Clover was again thrusting above the recently mown grass and bees broke it; bees were humming golden arrows tipped or untipped with honey and from the church spire pigeons were remote and unemphatic as sleep.

  A noise aroused her and Gilligan ceased reading. Mahon sat motionless, hopeless as Time, as across the grass came an old negro woman, followed by a strapping young negro in a private’s uniform. They came straight toward the sitting group and the woman’s voice rose upon the slumbrous afternoon.

  “Hush yo’ mouf, Loosh,” she was saying, “it’ll be a po’ day in de mawnin’ when my baby don’t wanter see his ole Cal’line. Donald, Mist’ Donald honey, here Callie come ter you, honey; here yo’ mammy come ter you.” She completed the last steps in a shuffling lope. Gilligan rose, intercepting her.

  “Hold up, Aunty. He’s asleep. Don’t bother him.”

  “Naw, suh! He don’t wanter sleep when his own folks comes ter see him.” Her voice rose again and Donald moved in his chair. “Whut I tell you? he wake: look at ’im. Mist’ Donald, honey!”

  Gilligan held her withered arm while she strained like a leashed hound.

  “Bless de Lawd, done sont you back tel’ yo’ mammy. Yes, Jesus! Ev’y day I prayed, and de Lawd heard me.” She turned to Gilligan. “Lemme go, please, suh.”

  “Let her go, Joe,” Mrs. Powers seconded, and Gilligan released her. She knelt beside Donald’s chair, putting her hands on his face. Loosh stood diffidently in the background.

  “Donald, baby, look at me. Don’t you know who dis is? Dis yo’ Callie whut use ter put you ter bed, honey. Look here at me. Lawd, de white folks done ruint you, but nummine, yo’ mammy gwine look after her baby. You, Loosh!” still kneeling, she turned and called to her grandson. “Come up here and speeak tel’ Mist’ Donald. Here whar he kin see you. Donald, honey, here dis triflin’ nigger talking ter you. Look at him, in dem soldier clothes.’

  Loosh took two paces and came smartly to attention, saluting. “If de lootenant please, Co’pul Nelson glad to see—Co’pul Nelson glad to see de lootenant looking so well.”

  “Don’t you stand dar wavin’ yo’ arm at yo’ Mist’ Donald, nigger boy. Come up here and speak ter him like you been raised to.”

  Loosh lost his military bearing and he became again that same boy who had known Mahon long ago, before the world went crazy. He came up diffidently and took Mahon’s hand in his kind, rough black one. “Mist’ Donald?” he said.

  “Dat’s it,” his grandmother commended. “Mist’ Donald, dat Loosh talkin’ ter you. Mist’ Donald?”

  Mahon stirred in his chair and Gilligan forcibly lifted the old woman to her feet. “Now, Aunty. That’s enough for one time. You come back tomorrow.”

  “Lawd! ter hear de day when white man tell me Mist’ Donald don’t wanter see me!”

  “He’s sick, Aunty,” Mrs. Powers explained. “Of course, he wants to see you. When he is better you and Loosh must come, every day.”

  “Yes, ma’am! Dey ain’t enough water in de sevum seas to keep me from my baby. I’m coming back, honey. I gwine to look after you.”

  “Get her away, Loosh,” Mrs. Powers whispered to the negro. “He’s sick, you know.”

  “Yessum. He one sick man in dis world. Ef you wants me fer anything, any black man kin tell you whar I’m at, ma’am.” He took his grandmother’s arm. “Come on here, mammy. Us got to be goin’.”

  “I’m a-comin’ back, Donald, honey you.” They retreated and her voice said:

  “Joe.”

  “Whatcher say, Loot?”

  “When am I going to get out?”

  “Out of what, Loot?”

  But he was silent, and Gilligan and Mrs. Powers stared at each other tensely. At last he spoke again:

  “I’ve got to go home, Joe.” He raised his hand fumbling, striking his glasses and they fell from his face. Gilligan replaced them.

  “Whatcher wanta go home for, Loot?”

  But he had lost his thought. Then:

  “Who was that talking, Joe?”

  Gilligan told him and he sat slowly plaiting the corner of his jacket (the suit Gilligan had got for him) in his fingers. Then he said: “Carry on, Joe.”

  Gilligan picked up the book again and soon his voice resumed its soporific drone. Mahon became still in his chair. After a while Gilligan ceased, Mahon did not move, and he rose and peered over the blue glasses.

  “You never can tell when he’s asleep and when he ain’t,” he said fretfully.

  Chapter V

  Captain Green, who raised the company, had got a captain’s commission from the governor of the state thereby. But Captain Green was dead. He might have been a good officer, he might have been anything: certainly he remembered his friends. Two subaltern’s commissions were given away politically in spite of him, so the best he could do was to make his friend Madden, First Sergeant. Which he did.

  And so here was Green in bars and shiny putties, here was Madden trying to acquire the habit of saying Sir to him, here was Tom and Dick and Harry, with whom both Green and Madden had gambled and drunk whisky, trying to learn to remember that there was a difference not only between them and Green and Madden, but that there was also a difference between Madden and Green.

  “Oh, well,” they said in American camps, “he’s working hard: let him get used to it. It’s only on parade, hey, Sergeant?”

  “Sure,” Sergeant Madden replied. “The Colonel is giving us hell about our appearance. Can’t we do better than this?”

  But at Brest:

  “What in hell does he think he is? Pershing?” they asked Sergeant Madden.

  “Come on, come on, snap into it. If I
hear another word from a man he goes before the Captain,” Sergeant Madden had also changed.

  In war-time one lives in today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Wait till we get into action, they told each other, we’ll kill the son-of-a-bitch. “Not Madden?” asked one, horrified. They only looked at him. “For Christ’s sake,” remarked one at last.

  But Fate, using the War Department as an instrument, circumvented them. When Sergeant Madden reported to his present captain and his old friend he found Green alone.

  “Sit down, dammit,” Green told him, “nobody’s coming in. I know what you’re going to say. I am moving, anyhow: should get my papers tonight. Wait,” as Madden would have interrupted. “If I want to hold my commission I have got to work. These goddam training camps turn out officers trained. But I wasn’t. And so I am going to school for a while. Christ. At my age. I wish to God somebody else had gotten up this damn outfit. Do you know where I would like to be now? Out yonder with them, calling somebody else a son-of-a-bitch, as they are calling me no. Do you think I get any fun out of this?”

  “Ah, hell, let ’em talk. What do you expect?”

  “Nothing. Only I had to promise the mother of every goddam one of them that I’d look out for him and not let him get hurt. And now there’s not a bastard one wouldn’t shoot me in the back if he got a chance.”

  “But what do you expect from them? What do you want? This is no picnic, you know.”

  They sat silent across a table from each other. Their faces were ridged and sharp, cavernous in the unshadowed glare of light while they sat thinking of home, of quiet elm-shaded streets along which wagons creaked and crawled through the dusty day and along which girls and boys walked in the evening to and from the picture show or to sip sweet chilled liquids in drug stores; of peace and quiet and all homely things, of a time when there was no war.

  They thought of young days not so far behind them, of the faint unease of complete physical satisfaction, of youth and lust like icing on a cake, making the cake sweeter. . . . Outside was Brittany and mud, an equivocal city, temporary and twice foreign, lust in a foreign tongue. Tomorrow we die.

  At last Captain Green said diffidently:

  “You are all right?”

  “Hell, yes. They wanted to reduce me at one time, but I am all right now.”

  Green opened his mouth twice, like a fish, and Madden said quickly: “I’ll look after them. Don’t you worry.”

  “Ah, I’m not. Not about those bastards.”

  An orderly entered, saluting. Green acknowledged him and the man delivered his message stiffly and withdrew.

  “There it is,” said the captain.

  “You’ll go tomorrow, then?”

  “Yes. Yes. I hope so,” he answered, vaguely staring at the sergeant. Madden rose.

  “Well, I think I’ll run along. I feel tired tonight.”

  Green rose also and they stared at each other like strangers across the table.

  “You’ll come in to see me in the morning?”

  “I guess so. Sure, I’ll come in.”

  Madden wished to withdraw and Green wanted him to, but they stood awkwardly, silent. At last Green said: “I am obliged to you.” Madden’s light-caverned eyes held a question. Their shadows were monstrous. “For helping. me get by with that dose. Court-martial, you know. . . .”

  “What did you expect of me?” No less, Green acknowledged and Madden continued: “Why don’t you let those women alone? They are an rotten with it.”

  “Easy to say.” Green laughed mirthlessly. “For you, I mean.”

  Madden’s hand strayed to the pocket of his blouse, then fell. to, his side again. After a while he repeated: “Well, I’ll be going.”

  The captain moved around the table; extending his hand. “Well, good-bye.”

  Madden did not take it. “Good-bye?”

  “I may not see you again,” the other explained lamely.

  “Hell. You talk like you were going home. Don’t be a fool. Those birds don’t mean anything by panning you. It will be the same with anybody.”

  Green watched his knuckles whitening on the table. “I didn’t mean that. I meant——” He could not say I may be killed. A man simply didn’t say a thing like that. “You will get to the front before I do, I expect.”

  “Perhaps so. But there is enough for all of us, I reckon.”

  The rain had ceased for some reason and there came up faintly on the damp air that sound made by battalions and regiments being quiet, an orderly silence louder than a riot. Outside, Madden felt mud, knew darkness and damp, he smelled food and excrement and slumber beneath a sky too remote to distinguish between peace and war.

  II

  He thought at times of Captain Green as he crossed France, seeing the intermittent silver smugness of rain spaced forever with poplars like an eternal frieze giving way upon vistas fallow and fecund, roads and canals and villages shining their roofs violently; spires and trees; roads, villages; villages, towns, a city; villages, villages, then cars and troops and cars and troops at junction points. He saw people going about warfare in a businesslike way, he saw French soldiers playing croquet in stained horizon-blue, he saw American soldiers watching them, giving them American cigarettes; he saw American and British troops fighting, saw nobody minding them particularly. Save the M.P.s. A man must be in a funny frame of mind to be an M.P. Or a nigger general. The war zone. Business as usual. The golden age of non-combatants.

  He thought at times of Green, wondering where the other was, even after he got to know his new company commander. A man quite different from Green. He had been a college instructor and he could explain to you where Alexander and Napoleon and Grant made their mistakes. He was mild: his voice could scarcely be heard on a parade ground and his men all said, Wait till we get into the lines. We’ll fix the son-of-a-bitch.

  Sergeant Madden, however, got along quite well with his officers, particularly with a lieutenant named Powers. And with the men, too. Even after a training period with dummies and a miniature sector he got along with them. They had become accustomed to the sounds of far guns (shooting at other people, however) and the flickering horizon at night; they had been bombed by aeroplanes while lined up for mess at a field kitchen, while the personnel of a concealed French battery watched them without interest from a dugut; they had received much advice from troops that had been in the lines

  At last they were going in themselves after a measureless space of aimless wandering here and there, and the sound of guns though seemingly no nearer was no longer impersonal. They tramped by night, feeling their feet sink, then hearing them suck in mud. Then they felt sloping ground and were in a ditch. It was as if they were burying themselves, descending into their own graves in the bowels of the wet black earth, into a darkness so dense as to constrict breathing, constrict the heart. They stumbled on in the darkness.

  Out of the gratis advice they had received, they recalled strongest to drop when a gun went off or when they heard a shell coming; so when a machine gun, far to the right, stuttered, breaking the slow hysteria of decay which buried them, someone dropped, someone stumbled over him, then they all went down as one man. The officer cursed them, non-coms kicked them erect again. Then while they stood huddled in the dark, smelling death, the lieutenant ran back along the line making them a brief bitter speech.

  “Who in hell told you to lie down? The only guns within two miles of you are those things in your hands there. Feel this? this thing here”—slapping the rifles—“this is a gun. Sergeants, if another man drops, tramp him right into the mud and leave him.”

  They ploughed on, panting and cursing in whispers. Suddenly they were among men, and a veteran of four days, sensing that effluvia of men new to battle, said:

  “Why, look at the soldiers come to fight in the war.”

  “Silence
there!” a non-com’s voice, and a sergeant came jumping along saying, Where is your officer? Men going out brushed them, passing on in the pitch wet darkness, and a voice whispered wickedly, Look out for gas. The word Gas passed from mouth to mouth and Authority raged them into silence again. But the mischief had been done.

  Gas. Bullets and death and damnation. But Gas. It looked like mist, they had been told. First thing you know you are in it. And then—Good night.

  Silence broken by muddy movements of unrest and breathing. Eastward the sky paled impalpably, more like a death than a birth of anything; and they peered out in front of them, seeing nothing. There seemed to be no war here at all, though to the right of them a rumorous guttural of guns rose and fell thickly and heavily on the weary dawn. Powers, the officer, had passed from man to man. No one must fire: there was a patrol out there somewhere in the darkness. Dawn grew grey and slow; after a while the earth took a vague form and someone seeing a lesser darkness screamed, “Gas!”

  Powers and Madden sprang among them as they fought blindly, fumbling and tearing at their gas masks, trampling each other, but they were powerless. The lieutenant laid about him with his fists, trying to make himself heard, and the man who had given the alarm whirled suddenly on the fire-step, his head and shoulders sharp against the sorrowful dawn.

  “You got us killed,” he shrieked, shooting the officer in the face at point-blank range.

  III

  Sergeant Madden thought of Green again on a later day as he ran over broken ground at Cantigny, saying, Come on, you bastards, do you want to live forever? He forgot Green temporarily as he lay beside a boy who had sold him shoes back home, in a shellhole too small for them, feeling his exposed leg whipped by a gale as a tufted branch is whipped by a storm. After a while night came and the gale passed away and the man beside him died.

  While in hospital he saw Captain Green’s name in a published casualty list. He also discovered in hospital that he had lost his photograph. He asked hospital orderlies and nurses about it, but no one recalled having seen it among his effects. It was just as well, though. She had in the meantime married a lieutenant on the staff of a college R.O.T.C. unit.