Pieces of Me: A Foundation Novel, Book One (The Foundation Series 1)

  I had decided to come clean with my mother about what had happened with Jax the night of the Spring Formal, and after talking with my father they asked if I wanted to press charges. I was still reeling from the effects of the night and I simply wanted to put it behind me. As much as I wanted to see him get what he deserved, I wanted him nowhere near my life.

  My parents were not so keen on me going out after I came clean about everything, but I was able to get them to agree to the idea by pitching Kayleigh and Bentley as chaperones, against their knowledge.

  Kayleigh was surprisingly not upset in the slightest. I chalked it up to the current hype my parents were making over the Spring Formal. Bentley was in as long as he got free booze; that was not going to be a problem, whatsoever.

  I was nervous about seeing Colton for the first time in weeks. He had no idea what had transpired between me and Jax…and I wasn’t sure I was ready to tell him. It was difficult to ignore his ear-to-ear grin as I greeted him at the door.

  “This is some place!” he exclaimed, his green eyes dancing with excitement.

  I giggled lightly. “Yeah, Harper’s parents are loaded; her mother is a therapist and her step-father is a neurosurgeon.”

  “Damn,” was all he could muster up in response; still taken aback.

  “Well, do you want to come in?” I asked; shifting slightly so he could enter the massive foyer.

  “You haven’t seen me for a month and I don’t even get a hug?” he asked, perplexed.

  “Oh…um, yeah, sure,” I replied, awkwardly before giving him the most embarrassing side hug in the universe.

  “Whoa, what the hell happened to your hand?” A concerned look spread over Colton’s face as he gently touched my arm where the cast was.

  “I broke my hand,” I answered simply.

  “Yeah, I kind of gathered that…” he trailed off, obviously awaiting a better explanation.

  “It’s a long story,” I replied, opening the door even further to allow him entrance. “You want a drink?” I asked as I led him to the back terrace where the gang was barbecuing and swimming.

  “Yeah,” he responded, following me to one of the many kegs scattered around the enormous backyard. I was hoping he would forget about my broken hand so I wouldn’t have to tell him what had really happened.

  I filled him up a plastic cup with the amber colored liquid. He downed it within seconds and then glanced back at me. “Okay, your turn.” He began filling up a second plastic cup before handing it to me.

  “Thanks,” I replied flatly; no intention of drinking anytime soon; my trust issues sky high.

  “Peyton, we need to talk,” he began softly, taking a step towards me.

  “What do you want to talk about?” I asked, taking a small step away; hoping he wouldn’t notice.

  “I meant what I said,” he replied, gently.

  “And that was…?” I played dumb.

  “You’re my future,” he repeated the familiar statement. He took my hand that wasn’t injured in his and my heart rate spiked; anxiety at an all-time high. “I broke up with Tara.” He tucked some stray hairs behind my ear.

  Breathe. I had to keep reminding myself. Just breathe.

  He reached for me with his arm and I dodged it, shaking violently. “Is everything okay?” I heard him ask from behind my back.

  I was still shaking something fierce, but I knew it was unfair to Colton. He had never harmed me in the physical sense. Uncontrollably shaking as a result of him getting close was incredibly unfair. I finally turned back to him, captivating his attention. “I need to tell you something.”

  I came clean about all the reasons I had been avoiding him. The look I had seen spread across his face when I told him I had never been kissed instantly taking over his face again, only to the highest degree this time. I hated people feeling sorry for me. That’s the same look I had come to recognize over the years due to my weight struggles.

  I just wanted everything to go back to normal; whatever that even was.

  “I’m sorry—“ he began, before I rudely cut him off.

  “Don’t,” I stated, simply.

  “What?”

  “I’m just tired of everyone looking at me with that same look in their eyes,” I shot back.

  “And what look would that be?” Colton tested me.

  “Sympathy,” I spat, unable to contain myself. “Like I’m some kind of broken toy that needs fixing.”

  “You’re different,” he stated the obvious.

  “What did you expect?” I asked, incredulously.

  His phone began ringing, the Script playing over the small speakers, filling up the silence. He pulled it out from his back pocket, glancing at the screen quickly.

  The look on his face made it all too obvious who had been on the other side; all the color slowly draining from his face. “I thought you broke up with her?” I asked, not being able to hide my disappointment.

  “I did,” he replied simply. “She’s having a hard time letting go.” He sat his plastic cup down. “I should actually be going.”

  “But you just barely got here.” I looked up at him, his green eyes piercing through me.

  “I know,” he began, running his fingers through his shaggy brown hair. “You know we played that gig at the Pixie last night and I haven’t really gotten that much sleep. Plus, I have to be up early tomorrow…our west coast tour begins on Tuesday. We have a lot of last minute details to tie up.”

  “I know.” I pouted.

  “We’ll hang out when I get back in town, promise.” He stepped towards me, hesitantly. “Am I clear to enter the premises?” He joked, lightly.

  I nodded, mentally preparing myself for the closeness. My heart was still racing beyond control, but my body was not shaking anymore; progress had been made.

  After Colton and his band mates made their departure as well as most of the others, all that remained was my sister, Bentley, Noah, Harper and me. We were plopped around a bonfire, enjoying the humid night air.

  “Sing us a song,” Kayleigh suggested; a welcome surprise. She had never taken interest in my talents. Although she was supportive she never seemed genuinely interested.

  “Well, we need to write a new song anyway.” I glanced at Noah through the orange flicker of the flames.

  Noah picked up his acoustic guitar from beside him. He began strumming the strings gently, waiting for my cue. “Got any inspiration?”

  I looked at my sister and she nodded her head lightly in my direction. Simply having her there made everything that much easier.

  I opened my mouth; baring my heart and soul to my friends, family, and band mates. These were people I could trust; they weren’t ones to judge me. They would support me even if I was in the wrong.

  The feeling of love I felt that night unlike any I had ever felt before; it was as close to normal as I had felt in weeks.

  ***

  I had been dreading my scene with Jace and time had not granted my request for a stand still. Whether I was ready or not, our lips were bound to meet one another’s in less than thirty minutes.

  I had arrived to class early to help set up, when I caught sight of Jace walking up towards me; his blue eyes piercing through my soul yards away. “You ready for this?” He asked in an attempt to strike up a conversation.

  “Jace, I’m not sure I can do this,” I replied, honestly.

  He took a few steps toward me. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

  I nodded. If I didn’t go on I risked a hit to Jace’s grade in class; totally unfair if you asked me. The unexpected was what terrified me most. Physical intimacy was still very intimidating to me.

  The time had come and I couldn’t avoid it any longer. Jace was onstage across from me. He was in the middle of his monologue. My eyes timidly glanced out in the crowd; the lights blinding me from seeing anyone clearly; parents and family of the students filled up the auditorium. I couldn’t make out any faces or even outlines except a strange fig
ure huddled in the corner. I squinted my eyes harder in an attempt to get a better look.

  “I’m afraid to be vulnerable to you,” I heard Jace speak the lead-in for our kiss.

  There was something familiar about the figure huddled in the dark corner of the theatre. I couldn’t tear my eyes off of him. I knew without a fraction of a doubt it was a male by his stocky shoulders.

  I heard Jace repeat the sentence one more time giving me a chance to save our performance. But I was locked in place; transfixed; the tiny light on the wall illuminating the top of his hair. The figure finally raised their head up and their eyes were staring straight at me; cold, dark piercing blue eyes. Eyes I could recognize anywhere; the same pair of eyes that had been haunting me in my dreams the past month. There was no denying it; Jax was there; in the back of the theatre, eyes fixated on me.

  I felt a hand brush my cheek and suddenly I was back there; Rihanna’s voice weaving in and out softly. I adjusted my eyes; positive I was going insane. I began rubbing them madly, praying it was all a dream.

  “You weren’t supposed to wake up so quick…” Déjà vu.

  “Ahhh!” I screamed, terrified out of my mind. He was inching closer and I was shaking in utter fear. Without another thought in mind, I punched my perpetrator square in the face. My biggest fear had reincarnated itself. Having to live through the night once was one thing…but twice? Incredible pain shot up through my fist and arm, wrenching me back. The pain was double from the time before. My face twisted in agony, I cried out from the tender throbbing.

  Rihanna’s voice had all but faded out and now all I saw were bright lights shining down upon me. I squinted up at them, wondering where in the hell I was. I could hear nervous chatter around me.

  I glanced around at all my surroundings; parents, students, and teacher alike standing and staring at me; shocked expressions across their faces. Suddenly, I remembered where I was…what I was supposed to be doing. You ruined everything, my inner voice scolded me. I turned to Jace, humiliation pouring over my face; an apology plastered across it.

  I had punched him in the face; the exact same way I had done to his brother…only this time I was wearing a cast around my wrist. I eyed him, praying that I hadn’t done any permanent damage to his angelic face, but there was no avoiding it, a black eye was inevitable.

  He was holding his face in pain; his expression part horror, part sympathy; fucking sympathy.

  ***

  I was completely mortified by the entire incident that had transpired. Here’s the fucked up part about the story; my Principal tried to expel me…my parents wouldn’t allow it so they marched right in and told her what had happened the night of Spring Formal. She was hesitant to believe it because of Jax’s role on the football team and amongst his peers. Essentially his popularity won her trust. Eventually she decided a lesser punishment would be suitable, so I was suspended. Three days.

  After the catastrophe it was understandable my parents sought help for my…problem. That performance was a whole other nightmare of its own. Although I had been hesitant to see a therapist at the beginning of the school year, I was warming up to the idea. If someone could help me make it through the ordeal I had to go through with Jax, I was willing to tell them anything.

  It was the middle of May and I had been seeing Harper’s mother on the down low at a discounted rate for the past few weeks. I was happy that I knew her already; we already had somewhat of a trust formed. She had prescribed me with an over-the-counter anxiety medication to which I was instructed to take one pill every night before bed. I hadn’t noticed huge changes, but my moods seemed more stable.

  Jeanette, Harper’s mother had also been able to help me accept the fact that I had developed a mild case of post-traumatic stress disorder. Mild in the sense that I was only experiencing some of the symptoms and they were not constant. The night with Jax had done more damage than I could have ever imagined.

  Jeanette had been helping me explore a type of talk therapy called, “desensitization” where I was forced to relive the terrifying events of Spring Formal over and over again. Oddly enough, it was working…the more I was able to talk about it; really get it off my chest; the easier it became to move past it.

  Every day it was becoming easier to stop viewing myself as a victim. I was a survivor. No more feeling sorry for myself. I intended to take this entire debacle and turn it into a learning experience.

  Chapter 9

  I Became the IT Girl.

  On Tour

  Get up on stage-Up to the mic

  Raise your voice-Start a fight

  Drink a little-Smoke a lot

  Drunk enough-But not distraught

  Touring the world-Seeing the sights

  Take it all in-Especially at night

  Ride a few fans-Do a few rides

  Time of your life-Make it worthwhile

  Strap on belt-Safety first

  If you fall off-We’ll catch you next verse

  Jiggle the key in the hole

  Come in the window-Or stay in the cold

  Pull out of the driveway-Back onto the street

  To see the next city-Overcome the defeat

  Ready to rock-Guitar in hand

  See a pretty girl-Taking a stand

  Touring the world-Seeing the sights

  Take it all in-Especially at night

  Ride a few fans-Do a few rides

  Time of your life-Make it worthwhile

  The beginning of summer was all the talk in my small hometown. With only a few more days of school left, anticipation was at an all-time high; talks of camping trips and beach excursions running wild.

  I had reached my goal weight of one 150 pounds, yet was not satisfied in the slightest. My body still felt huge to me because of the small amount of weight I still could lose mixed with my extra skin. I was getting complimented left and right, but when I was alone I became my own worst critic.

  My new weight had created quite a buzz at my small school. Everyone wanted to know how I did it; my secrets. I became the IT girl. Something I never could have predicted had I not lost the weight.

  Complete strangers suddenly took an interest in me. I became somewhat of a local celebrity; the spotlight intimidating. Suddenly, all eyes were on me…I had finally taken on a starring role in my own life…it felt strange, yet exhilarating.

  Due to my growing popularity, it was not a surprise to see my band’s latest show sell out of tickets within twenty four hours. It was the biggest accomplishment we had ever achieved, and it was mostly due to me. It was all so hard to swallow. In less than a year I had gone from zero to hero amongst my peers, by simply being me; something I had been terrified of my entire life---I had touched people’s lives. I had changed their perception without tarnishing my reputation.

  It was one of the first shows we didn’t rely on DarienMae’s fans or followers to give us a chance. Everyone was here for us, more so, to support me.

  “Are you nervous?” Kayleigh asked me while she assisted with my hair.

  I shrugged my shoulders in response. “I’ve been through much worse.”

  I caught her nodding in the mirror. “And you’re a survivor.”

  To be honest, I was more interested to know if Colton or Jace would be showing their faces. I wouldn’t be thrown off if Colton showed up, he was a musician, and a concert was his scene. Jace was a different story altogether. I had been keeping my distance from him for fear of seeing that look in his eyes again. If I had to be subjected to it one more time I would pull all my hair out.

  He had backed off, taking the hint. Seeing him in the audience was something I had not banked on.

  Colton had been texting with minimal response back from me. He was always so unpredictable; I had prepared myself for the possibility of a surprise appearance.

  I smiled back at her reflection. “Do you think they’ll like the new song?” I was referring to the jam-packed venue.

  “Well, duh. Your voice is haunting on it. They a
ren’t going to know what hit them.” I caught her winking back at me.

  “I hope you’re right,” I replied, standing abruptly. “I have to warm up.”

  “I’m always right.” Kayleigh joked, hugging me tightly. “Break a leg.”

  I glared back at her, annoyed.

  “Whoops! I forgot about your odd superstitions! Good luck!” she shouted after me.