The Hero''s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom

  “Hey, Lady Lipless! Over here!” Gustav shouted.

  Zaubera zinged a quick blue bolt at him. It hit him in the chest and slammed him into a cracked and chipping pillar. As Gustav hit the floor, the top of the pillar dislodged from the crumbling ceiling, and the enormous stone column began to topple—with dazed and wearied Gustav directly below it.

  Frederic saw the huge hunk of gothic architecture about to crush his friend. With all the speed he could muster, he sprinted across the room. Only a few feet away, and with Gustav disappearing under the shadow of the falling pillar, Frederic dove. He slammed his outstretched palms into Gustav’s side and shoved his friend to safety, just as the crumbling column crashed down.

  Gustav rolled over and hoisted himself up onto his hands and knees. “Thank you,” he panted. He grabbed Frederic’s hand and gave it a squeeze of gratitude. The hand felt lifeless and cold inside his. That was when he realized that Ella was screaming Frederic’s name. His head still in a daze, Gustav looked over to his friend. Frederic’s hand, which Gustav still held tightly, jutted awkwardly out from among the strewn chunks of fallen marble; his body was crushed beneath the pillar.

  “No,” Gustav whispered.

  Ella joined Gustav, and the two hurriedly tossed aside heavy chunks of stone, clearing enough space to let Gustav peer under the fallen column. In the cramped darkness below the debris, he could see Frederic’s gentle face. Frederic’s eyes were closed. Gustav finally knew what real fear felt like.

  “I’ll get you out,” Gustav said softly. He planted his shoulder against the pillar and started pushing.

  On the other side of the disintegrating observatory chamber, Liam steeled himself for battle. He had no weapon, and the witch was obscenely powerful. His only hope was to take her out the same way she’d taken out Duncan—through the hole in the wall. By this time, the crumbling bricks had widened the opening into a gap that stretched several yards across. He just had to get the witch over to it. With that goal in mind, he tried an old Gustav move: the running tackle.

  Liam lowered his head, released a wild scream, and charged directly at Zaubera. He pounded, shoulder-first, into Zaubera’s gut, and the two hit the floor together in a flailing of limbs and flapping of rags. They rolled to within a few feet of the broken wall before coming to a stop. But the witch got to her feet first. She stood over Liam and laughed.

  “You fools!” she cackled. “Why do you keep trying? Don’t you see you can never—”

  She didn’t get to finish. Ella ran up and socked her in the jaw with a surprisingly powerful uppercut. The witch staggered backward to the edge of the crumbling hole in the wall. She waved her arms wildly, trying to right herself. One heel inched over the edge, then the other.

  Then she regained her balance. And smiled with satisfaction.

  “Aw, come on,” Liam muttered.

  “You people are not listening to me,” Zaubera said, as she held out her arms once again to conjure up her diabolical bolts of magical energy. “Zaubera will not be ignored.”

  Suddenly a loud flapping sound filled the air, and the sky that could be seen through the ruined wall behind her was blotted out by the dragon rising up outside the tower. The enormous red creature beat its powerful leathery wings as it hovered directly outside the hole. Sitting astride the dragon’s neck was Duncan.

  “Hey, guys,” he called. “Look what the dwarfs just showed me how to do! Kwanchuk!”

  The dragon belched a huge plume of fire that Zaubera barely managed to duck. Ella and Liam dove to avoid the flames themselves. The witch shrieked, her gown of rags ablaze. Duncan shrieked, too. “Oh, no! That’s the wrong one!” he shouted. “Um, chik-chunk?”

  The dragon sailed forward, plunging its enormous head into the observatory through the hole in the tower wall. The beast opened its mouth and curled its anaconda-like tongue around Zaubera. Howling, the witch clawed at the giant tongue, but to no avail.

  “Kolchak?” Duncan guessed.

  “Heroes,” Zaubera hissed as the dragon pulled her into its mouth and swallowed her whole. One small fiery hiccup later, the witch was gone.

  “Well, that was far more gruesome than I’d hoped,” Duncan said with a grimace. “But we beat the witch. Hooray for that, I suppose.” He flashed an uncomfortable smile at Liam and Ella.

  With every beat of the dragon’s wings, more rafters tumbled down, and roofing tiles flew loose.

  “Duncan, go!” Liam shouted over the din. “We’ll meet you downstairs! The whole room’s going to cave in!”

  Duncan nodded. He and the dragon veered off and headed back down to the ground.

  Liam and Ella dodged raining rubble as they ran over to Gustav. The big prince had strained every muscle in his body to roll the big stone pillar off of Frederic. He was kneeling over his friend’s broken body when Liam and Ella approached. Liam went cold at the sight of his gravely injured friend.

  “Let me help you carry him,” Liam said. “We’ve got to get out of here fast.”

  Gustav waved him away. “I’ve got him,” he said, without looking up. “Go.” He picked Frederic up as carefully as possible and limped down twenty flights of stairs behind Liam and Ella. From several stories below, they could hear the remaining walls of the observatory crash down.

  As they emerged from the fortress, Duncan and Snow ran to greet them.

  “The dragon caught me!” Duncan called out excitedly. “I thought I was a goner, but then—ha!—suddenly I was on a big lizard. And then I finally convinced Frank to tell me … dragon … words…”

  Duncan’s voiced trailed off. Gustav laid Frederic’s motionless body on the grass. “Oh, dear,” he said.

  “Is he alive?” Ella asked.

  Gustav put his head to Frederic’s chest. “He’s breathing, but only barely. It doesn’t look good.”

  Ella buried her face in her hands and wept. Duncan’s legs went wobbly. He leaned against Snow White for support as he wiped the sloppy tears from his cheeks.

  Liam knelt down beside Frederic. “He’s too far gone,” he said somberly. “We can’t save him.”

  With sudden determination, Gustav scooped Frederic back up into his arms. “But I know someone who can,” he said. “We need to travel fast. Duncan, go get your dragon.”

  29

  PRINCE CHARMING DOES EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID HE’D NEVER DO

  In a lush but secluded valley far to the south of Sturmhagen, Rapunzel returned to her rough-hewn wooden cottage after a long and tiring day of healing the sick and injured. She regretted the need to keep her location secret, but knew that if news of her special talents became common knowledge, every farmhand with chapped lips or gnome with a paper cut would show up on her doorstep, eager for a quick fix. She preferred to save her abilities to aid those truly in need. Rapunzel had a network of sprites and fairies that scoured the countryside, scouting out the sick and wounded for her. If there were a coach crash, wolf attack, or outbreak of slug pox, she’d hear about it and show up to fix things.

  Earlier that day, she’d gone to a nearby village, where a batch of tainted gruel had given everyone a nasty stomach bug. After that she stopped in a forest vale to tend to a family of pixies that had been accidentally inhaled by a bear. Considering it a good day’s work, she was now eager to head inside for a quiet evening with a book and a bowl of turnip soup. But alas, it was not to be. She knew she was in for some overtime when a tremendous winged dragon set down in her yard. She wiped her hands on the apron of her white dress and stepped outside to light the pair of lanterns that flanked her front door.

  Two riders slid down off the neck of the dragon. The first landed flat on his face, but stood back up almost immediately. The second, a big bald man who walked with a limp, was carrying a large bundle in his arms.

  The men wore the black trappings of thieves and assassins. As they approached, Rapunzel realized that the bundle the bald man carried was actually a third person. The injured man had probably been hurt in the process of a robbery or
while the trio was escaping from a prison somewhere. She was distressed; she didn’t like aiding criminals.

  The bald man walked right up to her and laid his companion down at her feet. The smaller man stood back, out of the way. Rapunzel glanced down at the man on the ground and gasped. He looked that bad.

  “Can you fix him?” the big man asked. Rapunzel knew that voice.

  “Gustav?” She was stunned. Between the black clothing, the bald scalp, and the fact that she’d never expected to see him again, she hadn’t recognized the man who, just a few months earlier, the whole world expected her to marry.

  “You cut your hair,” Gustav said. Rapunzel’s shimmery blond hair came down to her mid-thigh, but it was nowhere near the length it had been.

  “So did you,” Rapunzel responded. She spoke with a twinkly, almost musical voice, reminiscent of wind chimes.

  “My friend—can you fix him?” Gustav repeated. Rapunzel’s eyes widened at the sound of the word “friend.” She’d never heard Gustav use that word to refer to anyone.

  “What happened to him?” she asked. She kept her eyes locked on Gustav’s. Their usual coldness seemed to fade away as he thought about the injured man.

  “He saved my life,” Gustav said. “Twice, really. Maybe more. I don’t even know. Look, Frederic is a big goober, and he makes me feel like I’m going to sprain my eyeballs from rolling them so much, but he’s a good guy. He doesn’t deserve to die because of me.”

  Rapunzel was amazed. Gustav was expressing some honest feelings. This might have been a bigger miracle than when she cured his blindness. “It’s okay, Gustav,” she said with a soothing, angelic lilt. “You can let it out. Don’t be afraid to cry.”

  Gustav scowled. “I’m not going to cry,” he snapped. “You cry. You’re the one with the magic tears.”

  He reached out and gave Rapunzel’s hair a quick, hard yank.

  “Ow!” she yipped, pulling back from him. “That hurt.”

  “I’m sorry,” Gustav sighed. “But would you make with the tears already? Before he dies.”

  Rapunzel dropped to her knees beside Frederic. “To risk your life for a man as brutish and awful as Gustav, you must be a saint,” she whispered. “Your sacrifice may be the most noble I’ve seen.”

  And tears fell from her eyes.

  As the salty droplets hit Frederic’s body, he seemed to vibrate, and a low hum could be heard. Then his eyes popped open.

  “Huzzah!” Duncan cheered.

  Frederic sat up. “Gustav? Where are we? What happened?”

  Gustav closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Thank you,” he whispered to Rapunzel. It was the first “thank you” she’d ever gotten from him.

  “Duncan!” Frederic shouted. “Duncan, you’re alive!”

  “I was never dead!” he responded gleefully.

  Duncan hoisted Frederic to his feet. “How do you feel?” he asked with a big, eager smile.

  “Um, fine, I guess,” Frederic said, testing his legs and arms. “Great, actually. This is the best I’ve felt since I left Harmonia.”

  “Oh, thank you, Miss Rapunzel!” Duncan sang out loudly, surprising Rapunzel with a grateful embrace that involved his arms and legs. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He let go of her and hugged Frederic.

  “Rapunzel?” Frederic was very confused. “You’re Rapunzel?”

  “Yes,” she replied.

  “Did you just, um, do some, you know … magic?” Frederic pointed to his eyes. “Did you make me better?”

  She nodded and smiled at him. There was something warm and instantly likable about Frederic that made her feel very, very good about having helped save his life.

  Frederic quietly took Rapunzel’s hand in both of his and kissed it gently. He didn’t know if it was part of her magic, or just the way he was feeling about her at that moment, but he would have sworn she was glowing. “You’re amazing. You know, with what you do,” he said. “Helping people the way you helped me—it’s very admirable. If you ever need any assistance … if there’s anything I could ever do…”

  Rapunzel blushed. “I tend to do all right by myself,” she said. “But if I ever need a hand, I’ll know who to ask. If you see a sprite at your door someday, don’t shoo her away. I may have sent her.”

  “Sprites, right,” Frederic said. “They’re the tiny bluish ones? With the antenna thingies?”

  “They prefer to call them ‘feelers,’ but yes,” Rapunzel said with a grin.

  “I’ll get an itty-bitty guest room set up. Just in case.” Frederic realized he was still holding Rapunzel’s hand. “Oh, my fiancée is going to be so excited to hear that I met you. Which reminds me: Where is Ella? And Liam? What about the witch?”

  Duncan put his arm around Frederic. “Come,” he said. “I’ll fill you in.”

  “One second.” Frederic turned to Gustav. “Thank you, Gustav. I know what it meant for you to bring me here, of all places.”

  “It didn’t mean anything special,” Gustav said. “We’re supposed to be a team, right? I just did my part.”

  “Well, thanks all the same,” Frederic said as Duncan led him away.

  Frederic gave a startled little jump when he spotted the dragon, huffing small poofs of smoke from its nostrils as it napped on the grass.

  “The dwarfs made the dragon all nice, right?” he asked.

  “Yep, don’t worry. I got to ride her!” Duncan beamed. “So did you, actually. Although you were almost dead, so you probably don’t remember. And don’t worry about my driving—I promised Frank I’d just stick to left, right, up, and down.”

  “You’re welcome, by the way,” Rapunzel said to Gustav.

  “Huh? Oh. Yeah, whatever,” Gustav mumbled. “I’ve got to go.”

  “Don’t you want me to fix you, too? You’re limping.”

  “It’s fine. I don’t need your help,” Gustav said. It came out more bitterly than he’d intended.

  “I’ll never understand you, Gustav,” she said.

  “What’s to understand?”

  “Frederic’s obviously a warm and kind human being. I could sense it in him immediately. And you and he care about each other.”

  “Bah.”

  “You still feel the need to be a gruff, emotionless, manly hero, as if that’s what everyone expects you to be. There are obviously other parts of you that you don’t feel comfortable admitting to. But they’re the good parts.”

  “I’m all good parts, okay?” Gustav grumbled. “I don’t need you to tell me about myself.”

  Rapunzel wanted to tell him that there was nothing wrong with letting people know you cared about them and that he didn’t need to push friends away if he felt them getting too close, but she dropped the topic. She had no desire to provoke Gustav into one of his childish arguments. But she was right: There were parts of Gustav that he didn’t want to admit to, especially the part that still sort of, kind of, liked Rapunzel.

  Gustav and Rapunzel stood in silence for a few moments.

  “So, why’d you cut the hair?” he finally asked.

  “The only reason I ever kept it as long as I did was because Zaubera ordered me to,” Rapunzel said. “It was a rather inconvenient length once I was no longer confined to a single room.”

  Gustav sniffed. “My haircut wasn’t exactly by choice. That’s my barber, back there.” He pointed over his shoulder to the dragon. Duncan had woken the creature, and he and Frederic were already mounted upon its neck.

  “I need to go,” Gustav said brusquely.

  “Gustav, before you leave—I have one question,” Rapunzel called. “How did you find me?”

  “I’ve known you were here for months. I followed you when you first left, just to make sure you were safe. Then I went home.”

  He turned abruptly and joined his friends on the dragon. Rapunzel shook her head as she watched them soar skyward. “Like I said, I will never understand you.”

  30

  PRINCE CHARMING ALMOST SAVES THE DAY


  Do you think he’ll be okay?” Ella asked as she, Liam, and Snow White stood on the meadow outside Zaubera’s fortress and watched Gustav and Duncan fly off on the dragon with the injured Frederic.

  “We can only hope,” Liam said, raising a hand to shield his eyes from the setting sun. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think Gustav knows best right now.”

  All around them the lush green grass dried up suddenly, turning yellow and brittle. The wind blew up clouds of dirt at their feet. Ella turned to Liam, concerned.

  “The witch is dead,” he surmised.

  “Excuse me! Sir? Misses?” The voice came from high above them. Liam and Ella looked up to see Lyrical Leif tangled in a web of purple vines. “Might you be able to assist us in finding our way to solid ground?”

  “The bards!” Liam said. Leif and the three other songwriters were all strung along the upper edges of the fortress wall. “Just a moment, gentlemen!”

  “Oh, look! There’s Wallace Fitzwallace,” Snow said, and offered the dangling bard a friendly wave. “Sing us a song, Fitzy!”

  Liam ran to the dwarfs, who were waiting nearby.

  “Flik, Frak, Frank!” Liam called. “Could you bring your wagon over here and lend a hand?”

  “You don’t think those are our real names, do you?” Frank grumbled. “That’s just what Duncan calls us.”

  “Sorry, didn’t realize. What are your real names?”

  “Eh, doesn’t matter,” Frank said. “We’re coming with the wagon.”

  With the wagon in place under Lyrical Leif, Liam and Ella climbed up on top of it.

  “If I give you a boost, I think you’ll be able to reach him,” Liam said.

  But Ella was staring off at the approaching army, particularly the golden coach at its lead, which was just now rolling into the field before Zaubera’s fortress. “Doesn’t Erinthia’s flag have a gold star in the middle?” Ella asked.

  “Yes, why?” Liam asked.

  “Then whose banner is flying on that coach?”