Suddenly You

  As he might have expected, Amanda was no passive partner, her mouth entreating his with eager kisses, her hands wandering busily over his chest and midriff. The tightly fitted layers of his clothes and cravat defeated her, and she tugged at them with a moan. “Help me,” she said shakily, fumbling at the waist of his trousers. “I want to touch you.”

  “Not yet.” His palms slid over her drawers, finding the curve of her buttocks. “If you touch me now, I won’t be able to control myself.”

  “I don’t care.” She tugged harder and managed to unfasten the top button. “I want to know how you feel…to hold you in my hands…” Her fingers moved over the hard shape that reared beneath the front of his trousers. The slight pressure caused him to jerk and groan. “Besides,” she reminded him breathlessly, “you are the one who started this.”

  She was so adorably imperious, so passionate, that Jack felt his heart contract with a feeling he had never known before…a feeling that was too dangerous to examine. “All right, then,” he said, his voice filled with lust and amusement. “Far be it from me to deny you anything you want.”

  He brushed aside her exploring hand and deftly unfastened the remaining six buttons. His erection sprang free of the thick, twilled fabric, twitching at the proximity of Amanda’s soft female flesh. Jack’s hands shook as he fought to control the urge to bring her fully over him and thrust inside her virginal body. Instead, he waited with forced patience, his teeth gritting as her cool fingers settled cautiously on the taut length of him, brushing the silken skin that stretched so tightly over the stiff upthrust of his sex.

  “Oh,” she said, her eyes half closing, her hand moving in gentle exploration. “I didn’t expect…it’s so hot…and the skin is so…”

  Jack turned his face to the side, breath hissing through his clenched teeth as he struggled to endure the sensation. He felt Amanda’s soft cheek press against his. “Does it hurt when I touch you?” she whispered, her fingers hesitating near the pulsing head of his erection.

  “No, God, no…” He let out a shaken laugh that ended in a groan. “It feels good. Mhuirnin…you’re killing me…you must stop now.” Taking hold of her wrist, he eased her hand away, and reached for the long slit of her drawers. He pulled at the opening until he felt stitches pop, then reached inside with his thumb and grazed the patch of damp red curls.

  “My turn,” he murmured, kissing her hot face as he drew his thumb gently into the crevice hidden beneath the curls, repeating the action until the feminine lips were swollen and separated. He felt her thighs tighten around his, and he used his legs to keep hers spread wide, her body rendered open and helpless to his touch.

  Locating the entrance to her body, he stroked, teased, until he felt the gathering moisture against his fingertip. Amanda groaned and pressed against his hand, seeking more stimulation. He kept his touch maddeningly light, resting his thumb just above the delicate rise of female flesh that had become swollen and unbearably sensitive. She trembled and writhed as he circled his thumb in tickling swirls.

  Carefully he brought their loins together, not penetrating her, just allowing the sensitive underside of his sex to rub into the wet notch between her legs. Each jolt of the well-sprung carriage urged their bodies closer. Jack closed his eyes as the sensation climbed to an excruciating height. He froze with pleasure as his self-control began to shatter. He was going to climax soon…no, he couldn’t allow that, not here, not yet. Cursing in his throat, he clutched her round hips in his hands and pushed her back from his straining erection.

  “Jack,” she gasped, “I need you…need you…oh, Lord, please—”

  “Yes,” he muttered, his entire body stiff and sweating. “I’ll give you ease, darling. Soon. But we can wait a little longer, mhuirnin…we’ll do this properly, in a comfortable bed. I never meant to go this far in the carriage…it’s just…I couldn’t help myself. Turn around now, and let me fasten your dress—”

  “Don’t wait,” she said thickly. “I want you now.” She kissed his mouth, using her tongue to taste him, incite him, and his thighs turned to iron beneath her.

  “No.” He laughed unsteadily and cupped her face in his hands, brushing kisses against her mouth. “You’ll regret it if we don’t wait…oh, sweet…let me stop while I’m still able.”

  “I’ve waited thirty years,” she whispered, lurching awkwardly to bring herself over him. “Let me decide when and where. Please. You decide the next time.”

  The mention of “the next time,” and the thought of all he was going to do to her, with her, for her, became too much for him to resist. “We shouldn’t,” he heard himself saying raspily, even as he reached beneath her skirts and positioned her over his hips.

  “I don’t care. Do it now…now…” Her words dissolved in a low moan as she felt his thumb teasing her once more, while his middle finger slid inside her.

  Jack stared into the drowsy gray softness of her eyes, watched her lashes lower as the color of passion ascended her cheeks. Her hands clutched at his shoulders, his chest, and she pushed closer to him, gasping, and he felt the hot interior of her body tightening around the gentle invasion of his finger. Her mouth sought his, and he kissed her as deeply as she wanted, slowly plunging his tongue in rhythm with the thrust of his finger, using all his skill to bring her closer, closer.

  A shaken sound escaped her, and then a moan, and she clutched him tightly as an intense climax streaked through her. She shivered, arched, crushed herself against him, while her sheath contracted in sinuous ripples. Murmuring low in his throat, Jack withdrew his finger and positioned her over his aching sex. He teased the wet opening to her body with the head of his shaft, circling, nudging, and Amanda pressed down on him eagerly. She caught her breath at the first pain of his entry, but her body continued to push downward until he finally penetrated her with one sure thrust.

  Jack tilted his head backward, eyes closed, his forehead drawn in a fierce frown. The feminine weight of her pressed on his thighs, while her body held his in a snug clasp. The pleasure of it was too great to bear. He couldn’t think or speak, couldn’t form her name. He could only sit there while sensation glided over him in relentless waves. He felt Amanda lean forward, her parted lips touching his exposed throat where the pulse throbbed beneath his jaw. Her tongue brushed his skin in dainty exploration, and he breathed harshly. His hips lifted against hers, his cock nudging deeper inside her, and her sheath squeezed tightly in response. He heard his own full-throated cry as he drove in the final thrust of release, straining and shuddering in ecstasy. Finally able to move, he clutched her head in his hands, devouring her, aware that his kisses were probably bruising her tender mouth, but she didn’t seem to mind.

  The sound of their labored breathing was slow to diminish. Jack held Amanda against his chest, resting his large hand over her rumpled hair while the other moved in circles over her naked back. She shivered at the contrast between the cool air and his warm hand. He muttered a curse and fumbled with the back of her corset, realizing that the carriage was slowing.

  “Dammit. Dammit. We’re there now.”

  Amanda remained relaxed and pliant against him, not seeming to share his sudden urgency. Languidly she reached over and latched the door. When she spoke, her voice was thick and husky. “It’s all right, Jack.”

  Scowling, he jerked the edges of her dress together and fastened it deftly. “I should have kept my head…should have made us both wait. That was no way to take a virgin. I intended to be gentle with you, I was going to—”

  “It was exactly what I wanted.” She regarded him with a slight smile, her face still flushed, her gray eyes brilliant. “And I wasn’t your usual sort of virgin, so I fail to see why we should have done it the conventional way.”

  Still frowning, Jack took hold of her waist and lifted her, and she gasped as he withdrew from her body. Understanding her intimate needs, Jack somehow managed to find the handkerchief in his coat pocket, and he gave it to Amanda silently. Clearly embarrassed, she
used it to blot the abundant wetness between her thighs. “I hurt you,” Jack said in gruff remorse, and she shook her head immediately.

  “The discomfort wasn’t as great as I had been led to expect,” she said. “One hears tales of agonizing wedding nights, but it wasn’t nearly as terrible as I thought it might be.”

  “Amanda,” he muttered, amused despite himself by her chatter, and he hugged her tightly. He kissed her hair and the side of her face and the corner of her mouth.

  The carriage came to an abrupt stop. They were at Amanda’s house. Muttering beneath his breath, Jack tugged and jerked at his clothes, settling them into place, while Amanda tried to restore her coiffure. She refastened a few hairpins, then found her burgundy shawl and draped it over her shoulders. “How do I look?” she asked.

  Jack shook his head ruefully as he glanced at her. No one could mistake the remaining flush on her cheeks, or the soft sparkle of her eyes, or her lusciously swollen mouth, for anything other than the results of physical passion. “Like you’ve been ravished,” he said flatly.

  She astonished him by smiling. “Hurry, please. I want to go inside my house and consult a looking glass. I’ve always wanted to know what a ravished woman looks like.”

  “And then what?”

  Her gray eyes regarded him steadily. “And then I want to remove all your clothes. I’ve never seen a completely naked man before.”

  A reluctant smile hovered at the corners of his lips. “I’m at your disposal.” He reached out to play with a tendril of fiery hair that curled near her ear.

  She was silent for a moment, staring at him without blinking, and he wondered what thoughts occupied her mind. “That is something we should discuss,” she finally murmured. “I suppose we had better set terms.”

  “Set terms?” His hand stilled in her hair.

  “For our affair.” An uncertain frown marred the smoothness of her brow. “You do want an affair with me, don’t you?”

  Chapter 10

  “Hell, yes, I want an affair.” Jack stared at her with amused resignation as he added, “But I should have known you’d want to plan the damned thing out.”

  “Is that wrong of me?” Amanda asked. “Why shouldn’t I try to arrange an affair in a sensible manner?”

  “All right,” he murmured, his voice vibrant with laughter. “Let’s go inside and negotiate. I can hardly wait to hear your plans.”

  The footman opened the carriage door, and Amanda allowed Jack to escort her inside the empty house. Her legs were shaky and the place between her thighs was wet and sore and stinging. Wryly she reflected that this was certainly a Christmas that she would never forget. A straggling curl of reddish-brown hair fell from her disheveled coiffure, dangling over her right eye. She pushed back the springy lock, tucking it behind her ear, and thought of Jack’s urgent fingers clasping her head, his mouth fitted securely to hers.

  Surely she hadn’t just surrendered her virginity in such a manner…and yet the insistent soreness between her thighs, and the invisible but tangible imprints of his hands on her body, were proof that she had. She searched her soul for regrets, but she had none.

  No man had ever made her feel so desirable and fulfilled, and so unlike a spinster. She only hoped that she could keep from revealing her love to him.

  For she did love him.

  The realization had come over her, not with the immediacy of a summer thunderstorm, but with the slow persistence of April rain. She thought it unlikely that any woman could keep from falling in love with Jack Devlin, as handsome and wily and damaged as he was. She entertained no illusions about his loving her in return, or about the potential of his interest in her withstanding the test of time. If he were capable of loving a woman, he would have done so long before now, with one of the many women he had known in the past.

  And even if a woman did manage to entrap him into marriage, it would doubtless be a miserable, unfulfilling experience. He was a handsome man with wealth and position; women would forever be throwing themselves at him. And he’d never be able to return a wife’s love.

  She would simply take what she could have of him, and do her best to ensure that the affair would not end in bitterness on either side.

  They went into the parlor, where Jack extracted matches from a silver match safe and struck a fire in the grate. Amanda sank to the flowered carpet before the leaping blaze, stretching her hands toward the warmth. Lowering himself to the space beside her, Jack slid an arm behind her back. She felt him kiss the top of her head, his mouth moving gently amid the disheveled curls.

  “Now tell me your terms, before I ravish you again,” he said, his voice husky.

  She struggled to remember exactly which points she had wished to make. It was difficult to think clearly with his body so close to hers. “First, I insist on our mutual discretion,” she said. “I have a great deal to lose, should our intimate relationship become public knowledge. There will be rumors, of course, but as long as we do not flaunt our activities, there will be no great scandal. And also…” She paused as she felt his hand coast along her spine. Her eyes closed, the firelight flickering in scarlet patterns across her eyelids.

  “Also?” he prompted, his breath hot against her ear.

  “Also, I wish for our affair to be of a limited duration. Three months, perhaps. At the end of that time, we shall conclude the liaison as friends, and go our separate ways.”

  Although she could not see Jack’s face, she sensed from the sudden tension in his body that the request had startled him. “I suppose you have a list of reasons for that. God knows I’d like to hear them.”

  Amanda nodded decisively. “From what I have observed, it always seems that affairs end in boredom, or arguments, or jealousy. But if we decide in advance exactly when and how the affair should be over, we may still be able to part amicably. I should hate to lose your friendship when the passion ends.”

  “Why are you so certain that it will end?”

  “Well, no affair can last forever…can it?”

  Instead of answering, he countered with another question. “What if neither one of us wants to break things off in three months?”

  “So much the better. I would rather end it still wanting more, than to drag it out until we are both sick of each other. Besides, our chances of getting caught increase with time…and I have no wish to become a social pariah.”

  He urged her to face him, and it seemed that he was somehow torn between amusement and annoyance. “I will still want you in three months,” he told her. “And when that time comes, I reserve the right to try and change your mind.”

  “You may do your worst,” she informed him with a gathering smile. “But you will not change my mind. I have a very strong will.”

  “So do I.”

  They shared gazes filled with pleasurable challenge. Jack’s hands curved around Amanda’s shoulders, and he nudged her forward, his mouth lowering to hers. They were interrupted, however, by the sounds of someone entering the house, and Jack paused in mid-motion.

  “My servants,” Amanda said ruefully. She struggled upward from the floor. Jack rose in a fluid movement, pulling her with him to a standing position.

  Despite having known Sukey for most of her life, and enduring the woman’s constant needling concerning the lack of a male companion in her life, Amanda was embarrassed by the compromising situation. She felt her face turn hot, even as she assumed a perfectly bland expression. Sukey came to the parlor door and her face went blank with astonishment when she saw that Amanda was alone in the house with Jack Devlin. The disarray of Amanda’s clothes and hair, and the intimate atmosphere of the parlor, left little doubt as to what had occurred between them.

  “Pardon, Miss Amanda.”

  Amanda went to her immediately. “Good evening, Sukey. I trust you and Charles enjoyed your Christmas revels?”

  “Very well, miss. A fine night indeed. Is there aught I can do before I settle in for the evening?”

  Amanda nodded. ??
?Please bring a ewer of hot water to my bedroom.”

  “Yes, miss.” Scrupulously avoiding the sight of Amanda’s guest, the housemaid hurried away and headed down to the kitchen.

  Before Amanda could move, she felt Jack’s hands catch her waist from behind. Gently he pulled her back against his chest, and lowered his head to nuzzle the side of her throat. The pressure of his mouth was hot and light, sending a thrum of delight down to her toes. “I have a condition of my own to add to our agreement,” he said against her skin.

  “What is it?” The sound of her own voice, thick and pleasure-fogged, was unfamiliar to her.

  “If we are to be lovers for such a short time, then I am going to make the most of it. I want you to promise that you’ll withhold nothing from me.” His hand moved down her side in a long caress as he whispered, “I want to do everything with you, Amanda.”

  “How would you define ‘everything’?” she parried.

  He laughed softly instead of replying, the sound reverberating along every nerve.

  Amanda turned to him with a defensive frown. “I can hardly be expected to agree to something if I don’t know what it is!”

  Jack’s mouth twitched with suppressed amusement. “I gave you a copy of Gemma Bradshaw’s memoirs,” he said, straight-faced. “That would have provided a considerable amount of enlightenment.”

  “I didn’t read all of it,” Amanda replied pertly. “Only certain parts…and then I found it much too lurid to continue.”

  “I wouldn’t have thought a lady who was willing to lose her virginity in a carriage would turn out to be so prudish.” He grinned at her reproving scowl. “Here’s our bargain, then. We’ll end our affair in three months, per your request, as long as you are willing to do everything described in Gemma’s book with me.”

  “You’re not being serious,” Amanda said, utterly appalled.