The Lost Year

  “Your body is tight. If you loosen your limbs, you might kick better.”

  Trembling, I slipped a finger into the well of my cunt. I couldn’t help myself, Leon was right, every muscle in my body tensed. Not from the swim, but from being in his arms. He made me nervous and excited. Until meeting Leon this week, I’d never felt these urges as strongly as I did now. I held on to his shoulders, kissing him all over again.

  “Maybe this will help you relax.” His hands, controlled and focused, found mine.

  “Leon,” I whispered under my breath, unsure if we should.

  “Let me touch you.” Kissing me, he pressed his fingers up against my g-spot. He knew exactly where to go. Even in the water, Leon hit it like a switch. Jesus!

  Lip-to-lip, I whimpered into his mouth, moaning, calling out to him, “I want you.” A tingly sensation overcame the lower part of my body. “Oh, I’m going to—”

  “Come for me, Mon chére.” He spoke as if in my daydream.

  Just a little, right there, in the water, I came. Pulling him into me, I wasn’t going to stop. We didn’t have any condoms and I didn’t care. “Fuck me. I want you inside of me.” I needed him. I tightened my legs around his torso.

  Forget the fact that we weren’t an item, let alone floating in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, I never thought my first time would be casual.

  Regardless of the formalities, being with Leon Lartique, right this very second, sharing my body with him, suddenly felt like the most meaningful thing I’d ever done. The importance of this meant more to me than graduating from Avon Porter, getting into college, or making my own money. This, right here, what we were sharing, was the truest expression of oneself.

  My brain had been awake for years, in recent times so had my heart, but not until today had I thought much about my soul, about life and death. Leon touched my soul.

  Today could be my last day alive. I refused to go with regrets.

  “Mon chére, I’ve never…had unsafe sex before.”

  “Ha! I’ve never had any kind of sex before. So skin-to-skin will be new for me too.”

  The tip of his dick slid inside me. Welcoming him, I took more. My muscles contracted tight around him. “Ahhh,” I moaned, watching his face.

  He found his groove in the water.

  “Am I hurting you?” He pulled out, almost all the way.

  “Amazing—keep going.” To show my comfort, I fell back, floating in the water.

  Weightlessness surrounded us.

  In long, slow strokes, he fucked me. The sunset cast shadows across his face. His skin was illuminated with amber hues of paradise. Leon spoke to me in French, caressing my breasts, saying beautiful things to me that sounded lyrical and poetic.

  For a minute, I closed my eyes, taking all of this in. Hypnotic! My senses felt intoxicated in a newfound euphoria. My hair floated around me as if petals in the wind.

  The water’s level rose up past my ears, over my eyelashes. Hands at my sides, they seemed unattached to the rest of me.

  Leon’s grip at my torso tightened. His penetration taught. Hips pulsating faster, he was going to come. So was I. Again.

  Inhaling deeply through my nose, he impaled me. Just a small oval of air at the surface circled over my face. It felt cool. The rest of me was submerged into the sea with ecstasy.

  A noise, faint at first, sent a humming sensation through the water. Leon’s orgasm brought new meaning to…feeling the earth shake. Holy shit!

  Suddenly Leon pulled me against him. I thought he was going to growl naughtiness in my ear, but instead he shouted, “Aeroplane!”

  “What?” Disoriented, I blinked. Hearing the plane, I rubbed my eyes and asked, “Where is it coming from?”

  Leon’s fingers locked with mine. Our spirits filled with hope. Together, we glanced up at the sky. A moving light, a shooting star, soared closer in our direction.

  “It’s flying over us.” My mouth hung open. “Can they see us?”

  “Over here!” Leon shook his arms. “Looks like your friends sent a search team after all.”

  Shouting, waving our hands, we made as much noise as possible. I felt relief. Leon was right. If I believed my friends would come for us, they would, and they did.

  A moment later, the jet flew straight over us. It was close enough for me to see their logo, Americana Airways. “That’s a commercial carrier.” Grabbing on to Leon’s shoulder, I said, “Probably people on vacation, going to Eden.”

  His face turned in the direction of the jet. The light faded back to a small, glittery diamond in the sky. “We are far from shore.”

  “I’m gonna scream.” Pissed off, I didn’t imagine my frustration could escalate to much worse. I was wrong.

  “Mademoiselle, you already have screamed plenty.” He laughed and splashed at me. “Are you rested? Shall we swim?”

  “No. I need a minute.” Jiminy Criminy, we had sex, I came once, almost twice, a plane just flew over our heads, and he wants to swim. I’d like to take a hot shower, to eat cold pizza, and to curl up in his arms on the sofa. On my back, I resumed the floating position and tried to get my heartbeat under control. Okay, I wanted him to fuck me again.

  “I like this sweeter side of you.” His feet came up. He rested back on the water as if it were a chaise lounge.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “You are difficult to work with.”

  “Likewise,” I snapped, kicking the water at him.

  The sunset was almost over. Shades of dark blue and night came over us.

  “Gus, Fab, and I have rules about working with models.”

  “Oh…what are they?”

  “You are a subject to be shot. Not a woman to be played with or entertained.”

  Interesting concept they had going. “Modeling aside, I’m never to be played with.”

  “Noted, Mademoiselle.”

  “However, you broke the entertainment rule.” I reached over tickling his naval.

  He garbled water, sat up in the ocean, and declared, “New circumstances.”

  “Life or death,” I elaborated, acting as if it this wasn’t happening to us. I kept my eyes on the purple sky. Darkness came in from the corners.

  “Also you are much nicer now. Maybe the crash did you some good.”

  “Ha!” I couldn’t believe Leon was taunting me. “I have been nothing but nice since day one.”

  Gently he pulled at my arm and swam forward, taking me with him. “Your agent warned us about you.” Pushing me a few feet further, Leon then swam up ahead.

  “Minnie loves me.” Not. I could only imagine what she’d told them. “What did she say?”

  “The truth.”

  “Spill it.” I rolled over on my stomach dog-paddling behind him.

  He turned back and said, “On a conference call, Minnie told us 36C-25-35.”

  “Typical, you know my measurements.” Squeezing my eyes tight, I tried not to get water in them. The saltwater stung.

  “No. I know you.” He stopped swimming and came close.

  “Prove it.” I held on to my life jacket. I almost forgot how stunning Leon was until I caught the tops of his shoulders and that face of his in the moonlight. I trembled.

  “Minnie told us you got a bad rap, spent time in jail, hated modeling, are photogenic, and this would be a make it or break it year for you.”

  The water tasted saltier on my lips than in my eyes while hearing Leon size up my so-called life. I hadn’t thought about this year like that. Come to think of it, eighteen was my make it or break it year indeed.

  “Anyone can find that gossip about me online. Read a few past issues of People magazine.” I shrugged it off, making a joke. “Photogenic, huh? Are you saying I look better on film than in person?”

  “I mean, your agent believes in you. You should believe in yourself too.”

  “I do……in other areas of my life. I don’t care about modeling.”

  “Well you should.”

  “Why
?”

  “Taddy, you could be the next Giselle. Work with what you have.”

  Giselle was soon becoming an icon to those in the industry. Minnie had said on my occasions I could be Giselle’s doppelganger. Personally, I didn’t see the resemblance. Pretty and gorgeous, she was everything I wasn’t.

  “Nah.” I splashed him with a kick of my legs. “I wanna go to college. Maybe start a business. I don’t like being in front of the camera.”

  “Gus could tell.”

  “Really?”

  “Oui. Mademoiselle is virgin doe in the woods, scared.”

  “Funny.” I’m not a virgin anymore.

  “You need to loosen up.”

  I took his advice about modeling to heart. I appreciated that he cared. Here I thought I had been trying to work with what I’d been given all along. Oddly I’d rather wait tables and serve chicken wings than get dressed up in those silly clothes and pose.

  Tilting my head up, I inhaled deeply through my nose. I hated this swimming crap; I had to consciously try and breathe. Modeling, tuition, and an education didn’t matter. Not anymore. I was focused on staying alive. “I’m rested now. Thanks for the break. We should swim.”

  “Follow me.” He picked up speed.

  We swam, maybe another hour. The moonlight illuminated the water, making it appear from a distance almost like snow. Regardless, up close, we swam in black waters. Cold, I tried not to shake. While following behind him, I thought about having him inside me to keep me warm. That togetherness was the most intimate experience I’d ever felt.

  Leading the way, every so often he’d turn around to make sure I was okay. Sometimes he’d shout for me to keep going. Leon motivated me to not give up, but more of the accident played in my head too. I couldn’t make it stop.

  Images of Blake and the fire made me almost sink to the bottom of the ocean. I practiced what Leon taught earlier, visualizing my GBF in a good place. Blake survived. He had to.

  And Vive with her desire to die. I still couldn’t believe she’d unfastened her seatbelt. I had to make this swim to Eden, just so I could slap some sense into her.

  The last few years had been hard on all of us. Vive’s scars were cut deeper than mine. She’d buried her only boyfriend and had given up their baby for adoption. I tried to keep that in perspective.

  Suddenly, something—unfamiliar and slimy—smacked against me.

  What the fuck!

  At first, I thought it might be my own limbs. I’d been swimming hardcore and couldn’t tell if I was coming or going.

  Shaking it off, I kept following Leon.

  Then it slammed into me.

  Skin-like.

  Leathery.

  Screaming for Leon, I practically jumped out of the water.

  He stopped, turned around, and swam back.

  I knew what it was. “Don’t come any closer.”

  “Oue—”

  “Shark.”

  A fin reflected in the moonlight between us.

  Then a second one came up diagonally.

  “There are deux sharks.” Leon’s voice for the first time expressed fear.

  We’d survived the plane crash. There was no way in hell we were going to get past these two sharks without being eaten alive. This was two sharks too many.

  Jaws Syndrome

  “Stop moving!” My heartbeat thumped in my ear, deafening me. Itchy nervousness ran over my face and scalp. I resisted the urge to move my legs. Plain and simple, this was a panic attack. I’m sure of it. Inhaling deeply, I tried to control myself.

  I couldn’t relax.

  Soon I’d be nothing more than a slice of bologna. In my head, the theme song to Jaws played on repeat. Aside from not having a gun, there were also no fire extinguishers to shove in their mouths to blow them up, like they’d done in the movie. We had nothing but ourselves.

  Separated by their fins, Leon swam a few feet away trying to get to me. I assume so did the sharks.

  Damn. I knew I should’ve taken that marine biology class at Avon Porter my junior year. Lex had though. Thinking back to what she’d said about her studies, I wondered if sharks could smell. Or is it our vibrations telling them where we are? Could they see us at night through the water? Why aren’t they asleep in an underwater cave somewhere?

  The life-jacket kept me afloat. Making myself as small as possible, I tucked my legs up and crossed my arms. Maybe, just maybe, they’d pass us.

  “Stay calm.” Leon paddled closer.

  What was he gonna do? Knock ‘em out?

  The second fin brushed my butt.

  “Ahhh!” Shivering, I held back a scream. My ass is so gone. Closing my eyes, I prayed…

  God…

  It’s me, Taddy Brill. We haven’t talked in a while. Well, not since I was thirteen.

  Listen, I get that you’re livid ‘cause I applied to work at the pole-dancing place and also at that chicken wings joint. But come on, what other choice did I have? As Leon says, I gotta work with what I got.

  Thank you for this modeling gig, by the way.

  Now, you want me to get an education, don’t cha? Help me out here. Enough with these low blows already. Three hot men—teasing me—all week long is cruel. A plane crash? I mean really. Now these sharks!

  Aside from giving Leon what my BFF refers to as her Lady V (which was the most amazing six or seven minutes of my life), this trip goes way beyond punishment. You’ve completely changed my thoughts about hell.

  Yes, hell!

  I’d imagined damnation a lot like one of those designer discount outlet stores in the burbs. You know, where people are fighting for deals, there’s never anything in the right size, it’s always winter merchandise being sold during the summer months, and ya can’t find a sales clerk to save your flippin’ life. Let’s not forget the fact that it’s always a final sale and there are never any refunds, only exchanges.

  But this plane crash thingy is waaay worse.

  Please, I’ll do anything you want. Just make the sharks disappear. When the semester starts, I promise that I’ll be nicer to Vive. I’ll help Blake find a boyfriend. I’ll personally give up my quest to get laid. Wait…I can cross that ‘effer off my list, now, huh? Well, going forward, no more sex. How ‘bout that? I swear it. Cross my heart but I do not hope to die. Not yet. Please.

  Leon snickered at me.

  Did he hear the silliness going on in my head?

  “Why are you laughing?” I asked, opening my eyes.

  “Mademoiselle—” His baritone chuckle bounced off the water.

  Circling us, the fins didn’t go away.

  “How is this funny?” I resisted the urge to reach over and whack him one. We had to stay perfectly still.

  “Those are not sharks.”

  “Are you blind?”

  “They are dauphins.”

  “Whaa?”

  “How do you say in English? You have a place—SeaWorld.”

  “Dolphins,” I repeated. Leon’s accent is sexy as hell, except in times of crisis.

  “Look,” Leon swam toward one and pointed.

  I stared at them.

  The larger of the two came up to Leon, making a high-pitch squeaky noise.

  He put out his hand, patting its side. “See, dauphins. They are harmless.”

  “Do you think they know?” I asked, extending my hand to the smaller one who chirped in a different pitch. Its head was round. Its body appeared in the dark waters to be a few feet longer than mine.

  “What? That you are the next supermodel of the world? From the big city? In need of getting back to the mainland for a photo shoot?”

  “Leon, I think I liked you better when you were mute.” Nervous energy bubbling over, I giggled.

  “Maybe.” Swimming up beside me, Leon placed his hand on the small of my back. His touch reactivated that tingle throughout my body. “They sense we do not belong here.”

  One nudged me as I gave him a gentle tap.

  The dolphins circled
around us as we kept swimming. Unsure of how far we’d gone, I didn’t stop. I couldn’t. Something told me to keep going. Hope? Must be. My spirit felt filled with hope. My heart told me my friends were okay. I’d see them again. I pictured their happy faces, and I focused on getting to Eden.

  As a pair, side by side, they swam. One wouldn’t get too far away from the other without them regrouping.

  When my feet scraped the sand, I let go of the dolphin and stood. I felt as if I’d won my life back.

  “Do you believe in miracles?” Leon asked, coming up behind me.

  “No…can’t say I did.”

  He held me close. We watched the dolphins turn back out to sea.

  “And now?”

  I nodded, buried my face in his chest, and wrapped my arms, as best as I could, around his broad back.

  Together, we waded our way to the shore and collapsed under what appeared in the dark to be a palm tree.

  “This can’t be Eden,” I said in disbelief. “Where is everyone?”

  From what I could make out in the moonlight, this place wasn’t inhabited. There were no lights, no noises, only us and paradise.

  “Close your eyes, Mademoiselle. We will find them at sunrise.”

  “What if we’re the only…survivors?”

  “Do you remember what we talked about?”

  “Sorry.” Naked, I curled up against him. His magnificent chest rose-up high as he inhaled. I kissed his flesh. First his chest, then I found my way up to his face. We locked lips. He turned my body around and spooned me protectively into a tight hold. On land and in his arms, Leon felt different than in the water. Leon seemed confident of his abilities yet still I got a sense of apprehension from him.

  I never slept locked body-to-body before. Foreign to me, I could get used to it. Moments past, and I thought he’d fallen asleep. I lifted one of his heavy arms.

  He cupped my breasts, pulled me close, and spoke more lyrical French words in my ear. Leon comforted me. We made love in the dark. Unlike before, he came when I did, filling me with him.

  “Will you hide this for me?” My BFF asked, handing me a large bag of candy. It made a noise like loose change in a pocket.