Lost in Bliss

  stretching and standing. “Nothing’s going to happen tonight. I’ll talk

  to you in the morning.”

  They nodded and gave him a friendly goodbye.

  On his way out the door, he bumped into that obnoxious reporter.

  She rolled her eyes.

  “Excuse you,” she said with a huff as she fixed her hair and

  charged into the room past him.

  He watched her ass sway in her tight skirt. She was a loose end.

  She’d been useful over the years. Jana Evans had been more than

  willing to report what he told her to report. He’d always been careful

  with her. He used disposable cells to call her and never the same one

  twice. He gave nothing of himself. It had been mere coincidence that

  his rabbit had been involved with such a piranha.

  Of course, piranhas had nothing on sharks.

  He turned and followed the redhead and her escort. It was time to

  announce that the Marquis de Sade had arrived in Bliss.

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  Chapter Fifteen

  “I don’t see why I can’t go to the bathroom, Logan.” Laura had to

  glare up at the deputy. This close, she could see the tired look in his

  eyes. Lately he’d taken to wearing a pair of aviators everywhere he

  went, but tonight he’d left them off, and there was no denying the red

  rim to his eyes. Logan Green was on the edge of something, and damn

  if Laura could figure out how to help him.

  “Because you could be brutally murdered.”

  “In the ladies room?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t see why not. I was almost brutally

  murdered in my boss’s office. It happens.”

  And that was the trouble. Months before, Logan had been tortured

  by members of the Russian mob who had come to Bliss looking for a

  painting of Jen Waters’s. Logan had endured hours of painful

  questioning. It was a miracle he’d survived, but the sweet boy who

  loved comic books and napped at work was gone. That Logan Green

  had died, and Laura wasn’t sure how to get to the one who had taken

  his place. “Logan, you can stand outside, if you like. All the other

  women are allowed to go to the bathroom.”

  He looked down at her, an unmoving slab of granite. “I’ll let you

  go, but I stand outside the stall.”

  She closed her eyes in frustration. She didn’t really need to go.

  She just wanted a minute alone.

  “All the other women are not being hunted by a serial killer,” he

  said without inflection.

  He had been like this for thirty minutes. He followed her around,

  not speaking unless he needed to. He’d just been a hulking presence

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  as she talked to Stella and her husband, Sebastian, about the wedding,

  and then Brooke Harper about how they were going to get Nell into a

  bra before Stef and Jen’s wedding. Not once had the deputy cracked a

  smile.

  “Logan, do you want to talk about it?” she asked quietly. It looked

  like she wasn’t going anywhere until Nate Wright decided to un-sic

  Logan.

  There was only the fine tightening around his eyes to let her know

  he’d even heard her. He looked older than his twenty-three years. The

  last six months had given Logan a body to die for. It had toned and

  tightened him until even his face had lost its boyish charm and was

  replaced with a hard masculinity. But he’d also lost his joy.

  “I know what it’s like,” she said. “You feel utterly helpless. You

  know what it means to be in someone else’s power, and it’s horrible.

  It changes you, but it doesn’t have to ruin your whole life.”

  But wasn’t she letting it ruin hers? Hours she’d spent agonizing

  over letting Rafe and Cam go. Was she doing it for the right reasons?

  Or was she just afraid?

  No. She couldn’t think that way. It was selfish. She wasn’t afraid

  of them anymore. She had loved them once, but she’d proven that she

  could live without them, and happily at that. This was her home, and

  her friends were her family. Rafe and Cam would give up eventually,

  and they would find a life that made them happy, too. Rafe would go

  back to the FBI, and Cam would find someone to build a family with.

  Logan simply stared at her as though he could read her thoughts.

  “Sure. Voice of reason, huh? You’re totally adjusted, Laura. I’ll take

  that under consideration.”

  “There she is!” Jana’s flat Midwestern cadence broke through the

  chatter surrounding Laura. Laura knew she’d cultivated that accent.

  Jana was from Jersey. “You look…fine. I think the whole small-town

  girl thing will really sell this story.”

  She stared at Jana, wondering what to say. Laura had been

  reconsidering this little plan of hers. Maybe Rafe and Cam were right.

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  227

  De Sade would come after her anyway. All she was doing by taunting

  him was bringing Bliss back into the spotlight. She was just about to

  open her mouth to tell Jana to go to hell when Rafe and Cam walked

  back into the hall, looks of grim determination on their faces. Stef,

  Nate, Zane, Max, and Rye walked after them. Every man walking in

  looked at her.

  What the fuck was going on?

  Whatever it was, Laura had the feeling it was going to be

  interesting.

  Cam walked straight up to Jana. “You, go away.”

  “I will not. I have an interview. Laura promised me. If I don’t get

  my interview, I’m going to run the story anyway. I can make her look

  good, or I can make her look like the cowardly FBI agent who doesn’t

  care that women are being killed.” Jana’s perfectly sculpted lips

  curled into a sneer. “I can make her look like the hero, or I can make

  her a complete pariah. It’s up to you.”

  Laura was just about to defend herself when Cam stared down at

  the reporter. “And I promise that if you attempt to smear her in any

  way, I will find a way to make your life hell. I am damn good with a

  computer. I got a stern talking-to from the government at the age of

  twelve because I managed to hack into several of their systems. They

  were kind enough to decide I wasn’t a criminal and took an interest in

  getting me into the FBI. I will turn criminal if that’s what it takes to fuck with you.”

  Rafe turned to her as well. “And I have connections. I will use

  those connections to ensure that you are not hirable.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You can’t do that.”

  Stef Talbot smiled lazily as he stepped forward. “Oh, I assure you

  I can. I happen to know that several of the heads of the networks are

  great lovers of art. A well-placed word and your career is in the toilet.

  If I can’t influence them with my status as an artist, I assure you my

  status as a billionaire and the heir to Talbot Industries will influence them.”

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  Laura saw the minute Jana knew she was defeated. She turned the

  burgeoning scowl into a placid smile. “Mr. Talbot, I think there’s

  been a misunderstanding. Laura is a dear friend. I’m just surprised

  that these men would think to c
urtail her freedom as a woman.”

  Oh, not even Nell would have been fooled by that one.

  “Well, if you think we’re cavemen now,” Cam said with a grin

  just before he leaned over and shoved a shoulder in Laura’s

  midsection. Laura found herself in a fireman’s hold before she could

  think to protest.

  “Cam, put me down!” Laura shouted, although she was shouting it

  to his butt. It was a really nice butt encased in some fairly tight blue jeans. She had the sudden, wicked urge to cup that ass because it

  belonged to her.

  That was a dangerous thought.

  “No can do, baby,” Cam said with an easy confidence. “We’ve

  decided we outvote you.”

  “I didn’t realize we were a democracy,” Laura shot back.

  Rafe was suddenly on one knee. He gently pulled her head back

  so she was forced to look into that gorgeous face of his. His olive skin practically glowed in the low light, and those dark eyes of his got her

  every time. “There are many things we intend to make you understand

  tonight, bella. The first of which is you will not be speaking to that woman.”

  Cam started to carry her out. She bounced against his body,

  straining to see as he walked. “Damn it, Cam. Put me down. You

  can’t manhandle me like this.”

  “Yes, I can,” he said, a weird cheeriness to his voice. “I’m doing it

  right now.”

  She heard the door open and close, and the world around her got a

  lot darker as he left the building and walked out into the parking lot.

  She saw Rafe walking behind them. Maybe he was going to be more

  reasonable. “Rafe, this is not exactly legal.”

  “Take it up with the sheriff.”

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  229

  Laura strained, and she could make out Nate Wright standing in

  the doorway looking out over the parking lot. He did not look like a

  man about to arrest someone, which was surprising given his

  predilections.

  What had gone on in that meeting? “Let’s talk about this. I’m

  willing to admit that talking to Jana was a mistake, but I’m not going

  to put up with this. We’re adults, and we should discuss this situation

  rationally.”

  Cam snorted. “Not going to happen. You’re not in charge tonight,

  baby.”

  The door to the SUV opened, and Laura found herself stuffed into

  the car. Rafe followed hard after her while Cam raced around to the

  front seat. Before she could scoot to the other side, Rafe pulled her

  close. His arms circled her.

  “We’ve been going about this all wrong. We’ve been treating you

  like fragile glass, but you’re not really fragile, bella. You’re strong.

  You’re so fucking strong. You can handle a little fight. We’re going

  to give it to you.” Rafe’s warm breath played along her skin. “Some

  of the other men seem to think we should tie you up and spank you

  until you submit.”

  She was so going to kill Stefan Talbot.

  “But I think that would cause more trouble,” Rafe concluded.

  “I voted for the spanking, baby,” Cam said as he pulled out. “I

  thought it sounded hot.”

  “We’ll see how you like it then,” Laura shot back.

  “Yes, I thought that would be your reaction,” Rafe murmured as

  he stroked her hair. He should stop doing that. He was kidnapping

  her. “So Cam and I compromised.”

  “We’re going to fuck you until you admit you love us,” Cam

  explained.

  “I already admitted I love you.” Loving them wasn’t the problem.

  She would love them until the day she died, but she couldn’t ask them

  to give up everything for her.

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  “Fine, we’ll fuck you until you forgive us.” Rafe’s hands delved

  under the collar of her blouse. She tried to move away, but he held her

  tight. It occurred to her that she should be fighting this loss of

  freedom.

  When she’d first come to Bliss, she’d had terrible nightmares

  about being held down. Over the years, those nightmares had shifted

  and turned into dreams of being wrapped in Rafe and Cam. Fear had

  changed to longing. She still had the occasional dream that de Sade

  had come for her, but lately, the end had changed. Lately, when she

  thought she would die, the bonds that held her down became warm

  hands stroking her and Rafe’s voice telling her she was safe. She

  would look up and Cam was the one standing over her, a look of love

  in his eyes.

  “I forgive you,” she said, emotion choking her. Damn it. If it was forgiveness they were looking for, then she would give it to them. She

  could give them what they needed. She could forgive them, but she

  was never going to…

  Tears streamed down now.

  “Bella?” Rafe forced her face up.

  “I don’t forgive me,” she choked out. “Oh, god, I don’t forgive

  me.”

  She let Rafe pull her into his arms, his warmth surrounding her.

  She was here when all those other women were gone from this earth.

  Why was she the only one? And how could she have walked away?

  She’d run so fast and so far, but he’d caught up with her, and what

  had that cost all of them?

  “I should have stayed,” she whispered against the fabric of Rafe’s

  shirt.

  Strong hands stroked her. “Bella, you can’t blame yourself.”

  Couldn’t she? The sight of those girls haunted her. She’d known

  he was lurking, and she’d chosen to hide. She’d picked her pain over

  what she’d known was right. God, she’d never cried. Five years and

  she’d never cried.

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  231

  At first it was all about surviving. It was all about putting one foot

  in front of the other and making it through the day without blowing

  her brains out. She’d walked out because she couldn’t deal with Rafe

  or Cam. She hadn’t been able to face them, much less choose between

  them. She’d made it through the interviews by pretending it had

  happened to someone else. She had pushed it back until she told

  herself it didn’t touch her anymore, but now she could see it had

  affected her every minute of every day.

  “He hurt me.”

  A stupid assertion. Obviously he’d hurt her, but she’d never said it

  so simply. She’d told them the clinical details of what had happened

  to her. She’d explained how he’d bound her and how she’d gotten

  away. She’d described the knife he’d used on her in technical details,

  but not how it had felt when he’d shoved it in her torso. He’d used a

  small knife, and he’d cut her over and over. It had been enough to

  hurt, but not kill her right away. She’d never told them how she’d felt.

  She’d never told them how she’d felt when she’d woken up from

  anesthesia and the doctor had told her that he’d been forced to

  perform a hysterectomy in order to stop her internal bleeding. There

  had been numerous other things, but that was all she’d heard that first

  night.

  “I’m so sorry, bella.”

  She could feel something wet on her forehead. Tears. Rafe was
r />   crying with her. Big, strong Rafe was crying. She clung to him. If he

  could cry, she could, too. She could be brave enough to do it.

  “He made me feel so small.” She’d been insignificant. She’d been

  nothing but a body bound to a slab. An insect to dissect. She’d been

  nothing to him. Hours of torture had led her to the conclusion that she

  was nothing.

  When the Marquis de Sade had left her alone abruptly, it had

  taken everything she had to fight. She’d gotten one hand free by

  working it out of the binding. She’d used her own blood to do it.

  She’d found a towel and shoved it against her belly to hold herself

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  together. She’d found the door that led out to the warehouse he was

  using and made her way to the street. All the way she’d wondered if it

  was even worth it. Her feet had moved as though the will to live was

  something that put her on autopilot. How long had she been on

  autopilot?

  “You weren’t small, baby.” Emotion choked Cam’s throat as he

  drove toward her cabin. “You were loved. No matter what he did to

  you, you were loved. So fucking precious to me.”

  “To both of us.” Rafe’s hands tightened as though he was scared

  to let her go. “He can’t take that from you. He can’t make you small.

  You’re Laura Rosen…Niles…whatever you want to call yourself, but

  you are loved. Always loved.”

  It hadn’t happened to someone else. It had happened to her. It

  wasn’t technical. It was visceral and emotional, and she’d ignored it

  for far too long. It was still happening to her because she wouldn’t let these two men in. She’d lied to Logan. She’d lied to Rafe and Cam.

  She’d lied to herself. She wasn’t pushing them away for their own

  good. She was letting that fucker win because he was affecting her

  life.

  Laura cried because she’d held it in for so long. She’d sat up alone

  at night, a pain in her chest that wouldn’t let her go. She released it

  now because for the first time in years, she was finally safe. The

  danger might not have passed, but she was safe.

  She was loved. No matter what he did to her, she was loved.

  “I can’t have babies,” she sobbed. That hurt so much. He’d taken

  that from her. He’d taken her babies. All that mattered was the fact