Four Seconds to Lose

  Shutting the burner phone off, I toss it in the trash as a wave of relief washes over me.

  I am done with Sam.

  That was the easy part.

  Not wasting any time, I pick up my real phone. I take a deep, calming breath. And hit “send” on the text that I’ve struggled to type out for an entire hour. I know he called me last night—I see the notification of a message—and yet I can’t bear to listen to whatever he said. Just hearing his voice might crack my resolve, which would be catastrophic. I’ve already set too many wheels in motion this morning. I need a clean break.

  Cain gave me that last night.

  The only reason I’m texting him now is because of that voice in the back of my conscience that says I don’t want him to worry about me. Because, despite what he may think of me right now, he might grow concerned when I don’t come to pick up my things, when no one hears from me again.

  I wait for the indication that the message has been delivered, and then I quickly shut the power off, strip it of its memory chip, and toss it into the trash.

  I wrap my arms around my knapsack and bury my face so no one sees the tears that begin pouring.

  Waiting for the second wave of relief.

  The one that never comes.

  chapter forty-one

  ■ ■ ■

  CAIN

  The chime of my phone startles me awake.

  The words staring out at me from the screen turn my blood cold:

  I hope you can forgive me one day. Please give my apartment to Ben and anything of mine at your place to Ginger.

  It takes me another few moments to fully process what’s going on.

  Charlie is saying goodbye.

  No.

  Did she even listen to my message? She couldn’t have. She wouldn’t be leaving me if she had.

  I rush to dial her number—number one on my favorites. It goes straight to voice mail.

  Fuck. No.

  With quick fingers, I punch out a message:

  Call me. Now.

  I get an error message back, saying the text was never delivered.

  I try again.

  I try ten more times.

  Each time, the message bounces back. It’s as if Charlie has disconnected her phone.

  As if I’m never going to hear from her again.

  The thought of that brings a sting to my eyes. No . . . this can’t be happening. Checking the clock to see that it reads ten a.m.—I must have drifted off on Charlie’s couch around six—I hit number two on speed dial. I don’t even wait for John’s greeting. The second I hear someone pick up, I throw out my demand. “Get your ass to Miami. Today.”

  ■ ■ ■

  “Still a fucking looker, I see,” John booms, stalking into my office to slap his meaty hand against mine.

  “And you’re still not, I see,” I retort with a wry grin, softly punching his substantial gut. “What is this?”

  “The women love it!” With a boom of laughter, John turns to appraise Nate’s size with a whistle. The last time they saw each other, Nate was still a scrawny teenager. “What have you been feeding this runt?”

  Nate’s face splits wide open in a grin as he takes John’s hand within his own.

  Nodding slowly, John murmurs, “Good to see you two again. I can’t believe it’s been so long since . . .”

  “Nine years,” I confirm. After that night, John seemed to make a point of swinging by my apartment weekly, offering any little bits of info on my family’s murder. Bits that didn’t add up to anything, but I appreciated it all the same because it meant the cops hadn’t already dismissed it. He came around enough, saw enough of my black eyes and bruised knuckles, that he had to know I was fighting. He never questioned me, though.

  The night that John showed up at my house three months after the murder with two mug shots was the night he earned my trust. Tossing them onto the table, he told me to memorize those faces and to run in the other direction should I ever see them. They belonged to the men who the police suspected were involved and sometimes, especially in drug-related crimes that involved money, family members and friends become targets. If he knew anything about the money I stole, he never let on.

  He warned me that the lead was circumstantial at best and wouldn’t hold up in court but maybe, just maybe, they’d find concrete evidence. But he added that the police force was overextended, that they had some high-profile cases on their desk already, that sometimes, despite knowing who the guilty persons are, those nails in their coffins could remain elusive.

  Basically, John was telling me not to get my hopes up.

  That was the last night we ever talked about my family’s murder.

  Tossing his duffel bag onto the floor—he obviously came straight from the airport—John takes a seat on the couch as I pour him a fresh glass of cognac. And he dives right into business. “So, her phone hasn’t been used since an outgoing text to you at ten-oh-four this morning, eastern standard time. Looks like it’s no longer operational. She must have pulled the sim card out. Banks accounts are drained. I’ve got her credit card being monitored and I’ll get notified if it’s used. I’ve got people searching the airlines out of here. But, if she took a bus and paid cash, we’re S.O.L.”

  Nate and I exchange a serious look as John takes a sip of his drink. When I filled Nate in on everything earlier, I thought he was going to throttle me. He started to ask why the hell I ever let her leave with that guy, but he stopped short, knowing I was already beating myself senseless over it.

  I’ll never forgive myself for that.

  “Oh, and that uncle you were asking me about?” John sets his drink down on a side table with a frown as he drags his bag closer. Pulling out a manila envelope that’s tucked into a side pocket, he confirms, “His name is Phillip. Fifty years old. Mechanic. Here.” He hands me a picture of a thin, brown-haired man, confirming one hundred percent that the man I met last night is not Charlie’s uncle. Or that everything I know about her past isn’t true.

  Fuck, which is it?

  “Cain, why the hell did you drag me all the way here to give you this information? I assume it’s for something good. I mean, I don’t mind seeing you.” His hand gestures in the direction of the club with a knowing smirk. “I certainly don’t mind visiting you here. But I could have given you all this information over the phone.”

  I pause to inhale the rest of my drink. “I’ve got another lead for finding her.”

  “Well then . . .” He moves with surprising agility for such a large, unfit man. “Let’s get on with it.”

  Despite my sour mood, I smile. “Thanks for dropping everything to come out, John.”

  “All-expense-paid trip to Miami?” he snorts. “Why would I say no to that!” He takes the few steps around my desk to settle a heavy hand on my shoulder. “Besides, you know I’m a sucker for love.”

  chapter forty-two

  ■ ■ ■

  CHARLIE

  I wonder if someone actually went out of his way to cover this small, musty motel room in blue peacock wallpaper.

  Maybe it was a special price that he couldn’t pass up. Along with a discount on the cheap furniture, the puce shag carpet, and the mint-green floral bedspread.

  Or maybe this is how all shady motels in Mobile, Alabama are decorated.

  It took one transfer and nineteen hours but I made it to my destination, care of the coin toss when I purchased my bus ticket. After spending hours looking for a motel that didn’t require a credit card or an ID to rent a room, I finally found this one. All the scraggly-haired guy at the front desk seemed to require was an extra-tight T-shirt and cash.

  Luckily, I had both.

  I haven’t slept in days.

  I keep reaching into my purse for my phone, only to realize that I don’t have one anymore. Nor do I have a driver
’s license or a credit card, or a social security number, or a passport. It’s all gone, cut up into small pieces and burned.

  I am no one.

  I strip all the covers off the bed and pull on a T-shirt of Cain’s that I had in my car, inhaling the fresh, woodsy smell until my lungs feel like they’re about to explode.

  Aside from my memories, this is all I have left of him. Even if I don’t wash it, I wonder how long it will be before his scent is gone.

  I burst out in a fresh round of ragged sobs at the thought, my arms clinging to my body as if the act will keep me together.

  As if it will keep my heart from falling apart.

  chapter forty-three

  ■ ■ ■

  CAIN

  “I’ve been on that guy for almost two weeks, Cain. I’m telling you, he’s barely left his place. Aside from the hooker he picked up two nights ago and a trip to the grocery store for two steaks, one bag of jerky, two pound of bacon, three dozen eggs, one pack of ­burgers . . .” John ticks off Ronald Sullivan’s grocery list on his fingers to prove how good of a detective he really is, adding, “Oh, and a jug of OJ to round out his dietary needs. Aside from that, he hasn’t left his apartment. I’ve got a GPS on his car for the times when I have to do things like use the can or grab some food. Or, dare I say, sleep.”

  I’ve been riding John pretty hard these past two weeks. He’s staying at my condo, but he’s rarely there. “Don’t you think that’s weird?” I say.

  “Of course it is! But unless he leads me somewhere, he’s useless.”

  “Cell phone?”

  “One that he uses to phone his mother, upstate. If he’s into what you say he is, then he won’t use his own phone. Not unless he’s an idiot.” John shrugs. “You know, if Charlie is involved and she disappeared, they could be laying low for a bit, until they know their doors aren’t about to be busted down by a raid.”

  He has a point.

  “Yeah . . .” I sigh, just as a knock sounds on my office door. Ginger’s head pokes in. She flashes John a wide, playful smile as she strolls in, her curvy frame in a pink dress holding his eye. “We’ve gotta go, Cain. The ceremony is in half an hour.” Her voice has taken on an unusually soft timber around me since Charlie left. I don’t know if it has more to do with feeling bad for me or feeling bad in general. The two of them had grown close as well. I haven’t told her anything about my suspicions about Charlie and, surprisingly, she hasn’t asked.

  The last thing I want to be doing right now is going to a wedding. Right now, I’d rather climb into my car and drive over to Ronald Sullivan’s house to knock the answer out of him. But this is Storm and Dan. I’d never miss this day.

  “Come on, date.” Ginger reaches out to help me out of my seat, pulling on my arm as I reluctantly follow. I was supposed to take Charlie with me to this and we both know it. I think that’s why Ginger insisted on meeting me here and driving with me. I closed Penny’s for the night. She probably figured I’d be at the bottom of my bottle by mid-afternoon.

  I have to admit, the idea was tempting.

  Her fingers reach for my tie, adjusting it. “You look dashing tonight, boss.” She smiles, holding her arm out. I take it and let her lead me out with a knowing glance over my shoulder at John.

  “You know where to find me,” he mutters with a groan as he gets to his feet.

  ■ ■ ■

  “Congratulations, man.” I throw an arm over Dan’s shoulder in a loose hug. I truly do mean it, despite my personal turmoil. Seeing Storm under that gazebo today, wearing a white dress and a beaming smile, gave me a moment of respite.

  “Thanks,” Dan offers with a chuckle as he glances over at his bride, posing with Kacey and Livie—her bridesmaids—out on the beach. It’s just the two of us, standing off to the side, as a crowd of guests mingle and laugh. He pauses, as if he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. Finally he asks, “Have you heard from Charlie at all?”

  “No.” They all know she’s gone. Even Ben has gone out of his way not to antagonize me, and I doubt it has anything to do with trying to impress the cute date from his law firm with his good behavior.

  No one knows why she left, and I’m sure as hell not telling my DEA agent friend.

  “And John hasn’t been able to find any trace of her?” Dan pushes.

  I sigh. Dan came by the club the other day to check up on me and John just happened to swing by. I introduced him as an old friend, visiting, but Dan had him pegged as an investigator within two minutes. He also figured out that John probably doesn’t use the most conventional, law-abiding methods to find the information he obtains for me.

  “She’s gone out of her way to make sure I don’t find her, Dan. Not much I can do now.” There is no trace of Charlie. She has quite literally disappeared.

  Dan nods slowly. When I turn to look at him, he averts his eyes. It takes him beginning to bite his lower lip to kick my instincts into gear. “What do you know, Dan?”

  Sliding a hand through his buzz-cut hair, Dan finally heaves a sigh. “I’ll come by Penny’s tomorrow afternoon, okay?”

  I fight the urge to grab him by his lapel. “What do you—”

  “It’s my wedding day.” Dan shakes his head firmly. “Tomorrow. Let’s get into this tomorrow. Not tonight. Nothing I know will be of any use to you in finding her, anyway.”

  I watch him walk away, wondering how the hell he has anything on her at all. How much does he know? How long has he known? Did he know before me and not tell me? The silent barrage of questions are still assaulting me as my phone begins vibrating in my pocket.

  “Is he on the move?”

  “No, but . . . something has come up.” A deep inhale into my phone tells me John has news for me and it’s not good. I turn and begin walking down the beach, away from the crowd. “I just got a call from my buddy. Human remains were found six months back in a national park outside Augusta, Maine. Results just came in. Dental records match those of Charlie Rourke from Indianapolis. Died approximately four years ago from blunt trauma to the back of the skull.”

  My stomach drops. I suspected it, but . . . now I have the proof.

  Charlie was never Charlie Rourke to begin with.

  I’m in love with her and I don’t even know her real name.

  “They’re trying to pin it on the father but so far, he’s not admitting to anything. According to the reports, he seemed shocked when they started questioning him. Says he remembers being at work the night his daughter disappeared. They’re checking into his alibi.”

  “So, Charlie . . .” I grimace. “My Charlie somehow ended up with the full identification of a dead girl.”

  “Yup. That’s not easy to do, especially as doctored as it was.”

  I glance over at Dan as he lays a deep kiss on his wife’s lips in front of a cheering crowd. What does he have on her? Will he even tell me? After all, I’ve never helped him when he asked for information. Fuck, I wouldn’t blame him for not telling me a damn thing.

  Tonight’s going to be the longest night of my life. For a split second, I think about going to Vicki’s house. I deleted her phone number but I know where she lives. I quickly dismiss that idea. I don’t think I could even get it up.

  And I have a better idea.

  “John. When you see my Nav pull up, drive around the block until I tell you it’s okay to come back, got it?”

  “Cain, that’s not the best—”

  “Got it?”

  ■ ■ ■

  “What the hell happened to you last night?” Dan’s face pinches together as he stares at me, his hand testing the now-empty bottle of cognac that sits on my desk.

  “I didn’t get married last night, that’s for sure,” I mutter with a dry chuckle, stretching my arms over my head. I assume he’s talking about my black eye. Ronald Sullivan was faster than I’d expected. The f
ucker got one good hit in the second he opened the door. I probably should have made Nate stand out of sight. Then again, Nate shouldn’t have been there in the first place. He saw me take off after dinner and jumped into my passenger seat as I was about to pull away.

  Dan mumbles something unintelligible as he shifts my suit—strewn over the couch—and takes a seat. “Look, I don’t have a lot of time and I sure as hell shouldn’t be here in the first place. I could lose my job over this.” With a heavy sigh, he reaches back to pull out a white folder that’s tucked into the back of his pants, concealed. “Two weeks ago, I opened my front door to get my newspaper and found an envelope with my name on it, marked ‘Confidential, DEA.’”

  “Two weeks ago?”

  “Yeah.” Sheepish eyes flicker to me. “It was from Charlie.”

  I’m on my feet in a second, my voice suddenly blasting through my office. “You’re telling me now?”

  “Relax, Cain. Just . . .” His hand moves to rub the frown out of his forehead. “Sit down.” As easygoing as Dan is, he knows how to pull his authoritative mask on. I do as asked because I can tell by the stubborn set of his jaw that he won’t continue otherwise. “I didn’t know what to make of it at first. To be honest, I was freaked out. I mean, who the hell is dropping off envelopes at my front door in the middle of the night? I only joined the DEA a few weeks ago. Eventually, though, I opened it.” He pauses. “It was a note from Charlie to me, telling me I should be looking into a Sam Arnoni from Long Island, New York, because he’s bringing large quantities of heroin into Miami.”

  “Sam Arnoni?” The Sam that I talked to that day on the phone?

  Heroin?

  Fuck, Charlie!

  “Yeah. There were some other names included. First names: Bob, Eddie, Manny. Street names, no doubt. Useless.” He pauses. “But I started looking into this Sam Arnoni guy and . . .” Dan’s head falls back. “Cain, you have the worst fucking luck in the world.”

  I feel my brow pull together tightly. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “‘Big Sam’ Arnoni has been on the FBI’s radar for years, but they can’t nail him.” Rifling through the folder, he pulls out a small bundle of papers affixed together with a paper clip. He tosses it onto my desk without ceremony. “The guy has enough completely legitimate businesses—some inherited, some built by him from the ground up—to make it easy for him to launder his money and hard for the Feds to catch him. Plus, he’s smart. Smarter than most of these lowlifes. He’s kept his organization small. There’s no grandstanding, no Godfather power-trip crap.