Leo's Chance

…it’s my hope that you will see, that I fought for you because you’re worth fighting for.

  As the sun comes up in the sky, I go and get some paper and a pen and a book to write on, and I return to the balcony and write Evie a letter, pouring out all my thoughts on paper. Pouring out everything she was to me, everything she is to me, and everything I want so badly to be for her, asking her to please, please choose me again.

  After I fold it up and put it in an envelope, something occurs to me. I go into my bedroom and reach in the back of my top drawer, pulling out the letter that I started writing to her all those years ago – the letter I’ve always used to remind myself what a despicable human being I was when I started to forget. A perfect instrument of self-torture, a perfect reminder of what I did to betray her. I don’t think I’ll do that to myself anymore. But I hope it will make her understand a little better.

  I go into work late the next morning, finally falling asleep for a couple hours in the early morning. On my way in, I stop by Evie’s apartment, ringing Maurice’s bell. He comes lumbering out, looking at me suspiciously. I smile my most charming smile and ask him if he’ll put the manila envelope I’ve placed the letters in under Evie’s door. I want her to read them but I don’t want her to have to face me until she’s ready. Until it’s her choice. Maurice nods and closes the door.

  I close myself in my office. Several times throughout the day, Doc's words run through my head …it’s my hope that you will see, that I fought for you because you’re worth fighting for.

  Will Evie think so now that she knows the truth?

  Later that evening, I walk out to get a coffee down the street, needing the fresh air and the caffeine in order to keep myself from nodding off over the last couple of emails I plan on sending.

  As I step off the elevator to the lobby, I see Gwen walking my way. I cringe internally, but keep my expression blank as she veers toward me. The expression on her face is the same one I would imagine a shark wears right before it sinks its teeth into a porpoise. Coming in for the kill.

  "Hi, Jake," she says, a fake smile on her face.

  "Gwen," I say back, moving past her.

  "I ran into Evie at the spa," she speed talks.

  I stop and turn to her. She’s the one who told Evie about my tattoo. Not that it matters. In fact, maybe the way it happened was for the best. Except for the fact that Evie was probably publicly accosted by Gwen the land shark, noshing her way through those who dare to get in her way.

  I look at her thoughtfully for a second. "I should probably thank you then, Gwen. Evie needed to see my tattoo and I had hesitated too long. She needed to see it because it’s her. It’s our story."

  Gwen draws back, her brows snapping down. "What? She is the girl you had tattooed on your back?" She keeps frowning, pausing for several seconds. "I just always assumed that girl was dead."

  I shake my head. "No, not dead. Very much alive. And very much loved. And I pray to God, very much mine. Have a nice life, Gwen." And I turn and walk away.

  I return to my building fifteen minutes later, caffeinated and feeling more alive. I wonder if Evie has read my letter yet. I wonder what she’s thinking for the hundredth time since she ran out of my condo. I wonder if she’ll respond to me, and if so, when. Fight for her. Oh, I intend to.

  You’re worth fighting for.

  Maybe I’m getting there. Maybe I’m not the bad bet that I believed myself to be for so, so long.

  I step on to the elevator and wait as the small group of people step on with me. As I’m waiting for the doors to close, a man next to me taps me on the shoulder, and when I look over at him, he points at the glass behind me. I turn around and there she is. My lion tamer, my Evie, my love. For a second, I don’t understand. She’s smiling up at me and she mouths, "I choose you." Time seems to slow and the background noise fades out around me. I suck in a huge breath, the sudden lump in my throat threatening to choke me.

  You’re worth fighting for.

  I yell out, "Stop the elevator!" and push through the people in front of me, the door opening at the next floor so I can step off.

  I run toward the escalator to the left of me, and even though it’s going in the wrong direction, it’s a way down to Evie and so take it, jumping three and four stairs at a time, ignoring the people swearing at me and giving me dirty looks as I push past them.

  You’re worth fighting for.

  She’s the only thing I see, the only thing in focus as I leap over the railing once I’m close enough to the bottom.

  We run to each other and I pick her up, spinning her around, pressing my face into her hair, trying desperately to stay in control of the emotions that are steamrolling over me – joy, thankfulness, hope, love. She continues to chant, "I choose you. I choose you, Leo. Always."

  You’re worth fighting for.

  The sounds of people clapping and whistling breaks through the haze of joy around me, and I look around to see people staring at us. I laugh, an unbelieving laugh, and look back at Evie who is grinning, too, her face full of love.

  "I love you, Evie," I say, my voice deep with emotion, even to my own ears.

  "I love you, Leo, my loyal lion."

  "You still believe that, after everything?" I look deeply into her eyes and see that she does.

  You’re worth fighting for.

  She nods. "Even more. You found the courage to jump through fire for me. You found yourself on the other side, didn't you?"

  I look at her, thinking that yes, I think she’s right. I think that the fire turned out to be my own fear, my own sense of worthlessness. "I guess I did. But you were the one holding the ring." You were the one who always believed in me. You were the one who always thought I was enough.

  "That's the easy part, my beautiful boy. Believing in you is effortless. It always was."

  God, I love this beautiful, beautiful girl. I grin. "I'm going to take you back to my den and maul you now."

  She grins right back. "Yes, please."

  I take her hand in mine, our future stretched out in front of us, the promise to give her a beautiful life is a vow etched on my heart.

  EPILOGUE

  Two months later

  Leo grabs my hand between our seats, bringing it to his lips and kissing it. He smiles over at me, and I lean my head back on the headrest and give him a smile too. As he turns back to the road, I drink in the beauty of his profile.

  It's been two months since that day in his office building lobby, the most beautiful two months of my life. We've spent it reminiscing about both good and bad times, falling more deeply in love, just being us together, no secrets between us, no fear, no guilt or shame. I tease him that Jake is my lion, and Leo is my boy. I love both, I need both – just one or the other doesn't add up to the complete person that he's become. My fierce, loyal man and my sweet, tender, protective boy. Both scarred, but both finally able to find the strength to accept that even life's worst experiences can be valuable gifts.

  Oh and also, both of them like to maul me, frequently, and that's a good thing. A very, very good thing. I grin over at him.

  "What?" he asks.

  "I was just thinking about this morning," I say, grinning more.

  He chuckles back. "Yeah. We really missed out on the showering together in the beginning, didn't we? I'm glad we're making up for lost time." He winks and grins back.

  I laugh. "Definitely. So where are you taking me?" I tilt my head and look at him suspiciously. When we had gotten in the car, he had said he wanted to show me something, but wouldn't tell me what.

  "You'll see in a minute."

  We both look ahead as he makes a turn and that's when I realize that we're on the street where I used to live, the street of my old foster home. I frown slightly. What are we doing here?

  As he pulls up in front of the house, I look over at Leo, and he has a nervous expression on his face as he studies me. "Trust me?" he asks.

  I don't even take a second to think about it before whisper
ing, "Yes. Completely."

  He smiles as he shuts off the engine and leans over and kisses me softly. "Come on, then."

  He gets out and comes around the car to let me out on my side. He takes my hand in his as I step out and pulls me against him, before shutting the door.

  It's a cold December day and his breath plumes in the air as he says, "I love you, Evie."

  I look up into his warm brown eyes and whisper back, "I love you, too."

  He kisses my forehead and says softly, "I'll never, ever get tired of hearing that."

  Then he pulls me gently and we walk toward the house. It's in terrible condition, garbage strewn all over the front yard, paint chipping everywhere, windows broken. Obviously it's been abandoned for quite some time.

  As he pushes open the front door, and I peek inside, memories wash over me. For just a minute, I feel like a frightened young girl again, emptiness consuming me. But then Leo squeezes my hand and I look up into his love-filled eyes, and I'm okay. But why did he bring me here?

  He pulls me gently again and I follow him as we climb the stairs to the second floor. I know where he's taking me now, and suddenly my heart lifts and a smile tilts the corners of my mouth. Our roof.

  We climb carefully through the broken window and I rub my hands together when we step outside. He wraps his arms around me, and we simply stand there holding each other for several minutes on the very slightly slanted surface.

  When he lets go of me, I move to sit down, but he stops me, saying gently, "No. Stay there. Please." I look at him in confusion, but as he drops down on one knee, I understand and a breath hitches in my throat.

  My Leo reaches into his pocket, and brings out a ring box and opens it to show me the most beautiful platinum, vintage style engagement ring I've ever seen. I stare at it, mesmerized for a couple seconds before my eyes move back to his. My vision blurs as I see the emotion on his face.

  "Evelyn Cruise," he says, pausing before taking a shaky breath and continuing, "I wanted to bring you here to ask you to spend your life with me because this is the place where I first knew that I'd love you forever. This is the place where I learned what it feels like to be loved. And this is the place where my lips first touched yours." He smiles up at me as I let out a half laugh/half sob and bring my hand to his cheek. He leans into it and smiles again before looking up into my eyes and saying, "Will you do me the great honor of being my wife? Will you marry me?"

  Tears are streaming down my cheeks now and there is a lump so big in my throat that I can't speak. So I nod again and again, going down on my knees with Leo so that I can kiss him through my tears and my vigorous nodding. We kiss and he laughs against my mouth, and finally, I collect myself enough to laugh too. He pulls back slightly, smiling, but then going serious as he says, "I need to hear it, baby. Let me hear you say it."

  "Yes, yes, yes," I whisper between more kisses. "A million yesses. Infinity yesses." I smile through my tears as he slides the ring on my finger.

  I take his beautiful face in my hands and bring my mouth to his again. This kiss goes deeper, our tongues flirting, caressing. I feel the air shimmer around us and I tilt my head so that he can go deeper. He moans and pulls me closer and I revel in the heady taste of him, the feel of his body pressed against mine.

  Suddenly, it registers that something cold and wet is hitting my cheeks. I break away from Leo, both of us breathing heavily. We look up at the same time and I suck in a breath when I realize it's snowing! We look back at each other and both burst into wondrous laughter. It's really snowing! Just like the first time we kissed. Only this time, we aren't saying goodbye. This time, we're starting our life together. The magical quality of the moment hits me and I start crying again, and Leo pulls me close, wiping my tears away. We hold each other for a few minutes before it occurs to me that we're standing on a roof on someone else's property.

  I look up at him. "Um, Leo, we should probably go. Aren't we trespassing?"

  He smiles, taking my hand and pulling me up and toward the house. "Actually, no. Come with me. I have something to show you."

  I follow him back downstairs, confused. He leads me into what used to be the living room and leaning up against the wall is something under a draped sheet. He pulls the sheet off and I take it in for several seconds before clapping my hands over my mouth to keep myself from sobbing again.

  It's a sign, and it says, "The Willow House," and has a beautiful Willow tree surrounded by children running and playing and reading beneath it.

  "I bought this property, Evie, and the empty lot next to it," he says quietly, watching my reaction closely and bringing his arms around me. "I thought we could open a community house for kids who are in the foster care system and could use a place to come after school and on weekends. A place for them to belong that’s stable and unchanging. I was hoping you’d run it."

  I gaze up into his warm brown eyes and in this moment, fall even more deeply in love with him, something I didn’t think was possible.

  Nine years later

  I put the last chrysanthemum in the window box and scoop dirt around it with my hands, filling it in and then arrange the ivy between the bright yellow and burgundy flowers, making sure it drapes just so. I stand back and smile, admiring the beauty of the fall plants. I brush my hands off and then gather my gardening tools together. The kids and I had spent the day planting and doing yard cleanup, and that window box was the only thing we hadn’t gotten to. I had promised them I’d finish it tonight.

  I walk inside and just as I’m drying my hands off, I hear Leo’s voice calling my name. I rush to the front excitedly. "Hey, baby." He smiles when he sees me, a large pumpkin in each arm.

  "Hi." I grin, going to him and tilting my head up to kiss him on the lips as he leans down to meet me.

  "Did you find enough?"

  "Yeah. We had to go to five different grocery stores, but I think we rounded up at least one for everyone. There are over fifty in the back of the truck."

  "Thank you." I smile, putting my hand on his cheek and gazing into his eyes, so easy to get lost in.

  "You’re welcome. But baby? These pumpkins aren’t exactly light. Where should I put them?" He’s grinning at me though.

  I blink. "Oh! Sorry. Here. Put them here." I indicate the large table that I’ve decorated with a fall themed orange, plastic tablecloth. Perfect for messy pumpkin guts.

  Leo sets the two pumpkins down. "Are the boys with Mr. Cooper?" I ask.

  "Yeah. I dropped them off at his place after we picked up the last batch of pumpkins. I told him we’d be by to pick them up on our way home. They were a big help with the pumpkins, even Cole."

  I nod and smile, happy that our boys are spending time with the man who is like a grandpa to them.

  I do the last of the cleanup as Leo brings the pumpkins inside. When I walk back out to the main room, the table is crowded with pumpkins of all sizes. We’ll have a fun day carving them tomorrow.

  Nicole and Kaylee and her little brother Mikey are coming by to help. Nicole is pregnant with her and Mike’s third child, a happy surprise. I know that seeing her teeter around here in her crazy heels and big pregnant belly is going to give me a heart attack. And I know she’ll tell me to stop being silly, that just because she’s pregnant, there’s no reason for her to wear the frumpy, orthopedic wear that I’d have her in if I had my way.

  Leo grabs my hand and pulls me toward the stairs and I follow, knowing where he’s taking me. We enter the small room at the back and he opens the window and helps me climb through, onto the roof. I walk a little ways to the side and sit down. He sits down next to me, and I put my head on his shoulder as he pulls me close to keep me warm.

  "This is my favorite place in the world," I whisper in his ear.

  He smiles and brings my arms up and around him. "This is my favorite place in the world," he says back, smiling.

  I nuzzle into his neck and smile against his skin, kissing him there and then laying my head on his shoulder again as
we both look out across the night.

  It was nine years earlier that my Leo had proposed to me on this roof. We were married two months later in a small ceremony with our closest friends, the family we had chosen, in attendance.

  Right after our wedding, Leo had hired a construction company to come in and re-hab the entire property, it being important to both of us that we fix it up rather than tearing it down and starting from scratch. The roof of the house was re-shingled, but other than that, it remained unchanged, ours.

  Several months after that, when The Willow House project was in full swing, I had taken my husband’s hand and led him out to our roof, and under a warm summer sky, I had told him that I was expecting his baby. He had stared into my eyes, frozen for several beats before that beautiful smile that I love so much spread across his face, and he pulled my shirt up and kissed my belly again and again as I laughed. Then he had pressed his cheek there and looked up at me, and I had seen my beautiful, uncertain boy in his expression. I had run my fingers through his hair and whispered, "Yes, Leo, you’re going to make an amazing dad. Some people just know things in their heart."

  He had smiled at me and then suddenly looked panic stricken as he practically dragged me back to the window. "What are you doing?" I had laughed.

  "No way my pregnant wife goes out on a roof," he had said. "I don’t care how safe this one is."

  Later, baby Seth slept in a pack and play in a quiet corner upstairs in what had been my old room.

  When Landon got his degree a year after we opened, we offered him the job of Director and he accepted. I was here as often as I could be but I was a busy new mom, and I knew I needed the help. He brings life and enthusiasm and fun to the place and everyone loves him. How could they not? He’s very loveable.

  Several years after that, when I was nine months pregnant with Cole, my water broke in the front room as I was hanging artwork from a project I had done with the kids. Later, Cole took his first steps in The Willow House as the kids cheered him on.