The Resolution of Callie & Kayden

  I run my fingers through her hair and brush it out of her eyes so I can see her face. ‘I’m sorry it took me so long to get to that point, but I’m glad you waited for me.’

  ‘You’re worth the wait,’ she says, breathing me in. Then she starts grinning in amusement, shaking her head at herself. ‘You’ve also turned me into a walking romance novel, FYI.’

  ‘I’m not sure what you mean?’

  Leaning back, she draws down her sunglasses to look at me. ‘I keep uttering these cheesy lines every time I’m around you. It’s becoming ridiculous.’

  I chuckle softly. ‘I think it’s cute.’

  ‘Well, you do it, too,’ she says, amused. ‘All the time.’

  I start to scrunch up my nose and protest, but then I realize she’s right. So instead, I get to my feet, brush the sand off my hands, and throw her over my shoulder.

  ‘Kayden, what the heck!’ she cries through her laughter, pounding on my back as I rush toward the water and wade in until I’m waist deep. We’re not in our swimsuits, but shorts, and the water is lukewarm, and still not comfortable. Still it’s fun.

  ‘This is for turning me into a sap,’ I tease, pinching her ass before I lower her into the water with a splash.

  She lets out a squeal as the salty ocean seeps through her clothes all the way up to just below her chest. ‘You are a mean, mean boy.’

  ‘No way. I’m a sappy guy, thanks to you.’ I give her a lopsided grin as I grab the front of her shirt and pull her closer to me. Her hair is dripping wet, water beads her skin, and her clothes cling to her body. She’s ridiculously sexy and I just want to lick the water right off her skin.

  So I do.

  Dipping my head toward her neck, I lick a path across her collarbone, ignoring the salty taste.

  ‘Kayden,’ she gasps, her fingers tangling through my hair.

  She pulls me closer and I smile against her skin as I drop my head lower as my hands glide up to her stomach. I kiss a path to the collar of her shirt then pull it down to suck on the curve of her breast. She struggles to stand upright against the intensity and the waves rolling toward us, so I reach down, grab her thigh, and hitch it around my hip. She gasps and rocks her hips against me, seeking more. The moment is perfect and I’m about to give our bodies everything they’re craving when a large wave slams against us and knocks us apart.

  ‘Holy shit.’ I struggle to get my footing as Callie comes up from out of the water.

  ‘Serves you right’ – she laughs and swims toward shore – ‘for throwing me in there to begin with,’ she says as she crawls out of the water and drops down on the sand exhausted.

  I wade out and lie down beside her, completely unconcerned that the sand is getting caked to my clothes. Then we stare at the sky, getting lost in the peace of just being near each other. But it’s when the clouds roll in that I’m reminded why we’re here.

  ‘We should probably get ready to go,’ Callie whispers softly with her arm draped over her forehead.

  I slowly nod. ‘Yeah, you’re probably right.’ It takes me a minute to move, though, and in the end, I wish I could have stayed.

  Just her and me.

  Callie and me.

  The warm sand.

  The peaceful ocean.

  That’s all I want.

  But deep down, I know it’s time for me to go say goodbye.

  Dylan and Liz show up at our hotel a few hours before the funeral to take us out for lunch. Callie’s wearing a black dress that looks a lot like Liz’s and Dylan and I are wearing black pants, a white shirt, and a black tie. None of our moods seem as sullen as our outfits, though.

  ‘I can’t believe you’re a writer,’ Liz says to Callie from across the table at the fast food place we’re eating at. ‘That’s so cool.’

  Callie seems a little self-conscious with the attention focused solely on her. ‘Yeah, I guess. But I still have a lot of stuff to do if I’m going to make writing my career.’

  I drape my arm around her and comb my fingers through her hair that still has the faintest scent of the ocean. ‘You are going to be one. It’s what you love to do.’

  She scrunches up her face. ‘I just don’t want to think of it as a job, you know. The internship is great and everything, but I don’t know. It’s just not as fun as writing stories.’

  ‘You should write stories, then. If that’s what you want to do,’ I say, picking up a fry and popping it into my mouth.

  ‘Easier said than done.’ She dunks a fry into my cup of ranch. ‘Do you know how hard of a career that is to get into?’

  ‘You can do it,’ I say with a smile. ‘And I’ll take care of you while you do.’ I promised I’d take care of you, I mouth.

  ‘You guys are adorable,’ Liz interrupts our little moment. When I look across the table, I realize she and my brother are watching us with fascination. ‘Seriously, like the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.’

  Dylan rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t worry. She thinks everything’s adorable. Puppies, kittens, bedding, cars, movies, old people.’ He flashes her a grin and she smiles, playfully swatting her hand against his chest.

  ‘Oh, whatever,’ she says. ‘You get all misty-eyed during movies, too.’

  He keeps grinning at her and she throws a fry at his face, but he opens his mouth and catches it. We’re all having fun and I almost forget why we’re here, until Liz gets up from the booth.

  ‘It’s time to go,’ she tells everyone with a sigh as she glances at the clock on the wall.

  This somber silence sets over us as we’re forced back to reality and the real reason the four of us are here hanging out in North Carolina.

  To say goodbye.

  ‘I guess it is,’ Dylan mutters as he gets up and heads for the door, fumbling to get the car keys from his pocket.

  We all follow in silence and get into the car. The drive to the church doesn’t seem long enough. I wish I could make it last forever. We ride with my brother, sitting in the backseat where I hold Callie’s hand the entire way, which helps me to breathe easier. The air is humid, the ocean is the scenery for most of the way. It’s calming, but I still feel my heart thumping deafeningly inside my chest the closer we get to the place.

  This is it.

  Can I handle it?

  Finally, we arrive at the small, almost rundown-looking church that’s centered in the middle of the small town with the cemetery on the same street. The parking lot hardly has any cars in it, which makes me wonder if we’re at the right place. But I don’t say anything as Dylan seems positive this is where it is, since ‘this is where the GPS took us.’ When we’re walking up the sidewalk, though, he grabs my arm and pulls me back, motioning at Callie and Liz to go ahead.

  Liz and Callie give us both a strange look as they pause in front of the large doors.

  ‘It’s okay,’ Dylan says at the same time I say, ‘I’m fine.’

  With reluctance, they both go inside, leaving Dylan and me standing at the bottom of the stairs in the shadows of the trees.

  ‘So, if things start to get too heavy in here, just say so and we’ll go,’ he says, fiddling around with the watch on his wrist. He seems as uneasy as I feel.

  ‘Okay.’ I glance up at the door and then back to him, realizing that once I step inside, things are going to change. A chapter in my life is going to be closed and however I feel about it, in the end I’m saying goodbye forever, like when Dylan left the house at eighteen. ‘I have a question, though … about how Dad died …’ I have no clue why I’m asking, other than it seems like I should know before I walk in there, before I say goodbye and close the chapter. ‘Do you know what happened exactly that put him in the hospital?’

  Dylan appears uncomfortable, apprehensively loosening his tie. ‘I do, but are you sure you want to hear it?’

  It takes me a beat to answer, but in the end it feels like I should know. ‘Yeah, I think I need to, for closure.’

  He sighs then rakes his hand through his hair, staring out at the
parking lot. ‘I don’t know all the details, but it was a fight.’

  Shock ripples through me and slams against my chest. ‘What?’

  Dylan sighs, looking back at me. ‘He finally got into a fight with someone who fought back.’ He shakes his head and then stares out at the large oak trees around the yard in front of the church. ‘It’s kind of tragic when you think about it. So much useless and unnecessary rage for all those years finally led him to the end. It was such a waste, to live life like that.’

  ‘I know it was,’ I say quietly. ‘Being happy is so much better, isn’t it?’

  Nodding, Dylan looks at me and the edginess in his eyes has vanished and all that remains is pity. Not for me, but for our dad. ‘It really, really is. Too bad he could never figure that out.’

  Silence wraps around us, and even though we don’t agree that it’s time to go in, we both move for the door at the same time and enter the church. It’s about as empty as the parking lot, with a few people sitting on the benches, faces I don’t recognize except for one person who I knew would be there, and who I was dreading seeing.

  My mother.

  She’s sitting at the front, dressed in black, with a hat on her head and a veil over her face. She turns her head when we enter, the hinges of the church door announcing our presence. We exchange this look that I don’t know what it means, nor do I care to find out. Because when she starts to get up, I rip my gaze away from her and sit down beside Callie because that’s where I belong. I’m surprised that my mother takes the hint and sits back down, staring ahead at the coffin upfront. It looks so lonely up there with no flowers around it, no large photo to represent the man that he was.

  Callie holds my hand the entire time. We don’t say much, but there’s not much to say. Besides, she’s here with me and that’s all that really matters – that she loves me enough to be here for me.

  As the funeral goes on, the emptier the church feels with the lack of crying. There’s no heart-warming eulogy dedicated to him. No one has anything to say.

  There is only silence.

  Emptiness.

  Which is really what his life was, wasn’t it?

  It’s in that moment, I feel sort of sorry for my dad. What a waste, to live life with so much anger that there’s no room for love. I’m grateful I’m not like him. Grateful I have the chance to move on from all the pain and hate he inflicted in my life. Grateful I was capable of love. Grateful for Callie, my brother, Liz, Luke, Violet, Seth, Greyson, and even my coach. Because in the end, I realized I’m not my father.

  I’m simply me.

  And that’s enough.

  I wish I could have said that toward the end of his funeral when we took him to the cemetery to put him in his final resting place. To find it in my heart to say a few words that meant something.

  But I couldn’t.

  All I could say was goodbye.

  And let the past go.

  Forever.

  Chapter 26

  #168 Try Not to Get Too Embarrassed in the Most Embarrassing Situation.

  Callie

  Ever since the funeral, Kayden seems to be doing a lot better. I don’t ask him why because really it doesn’t matter. All that does matter is the darkness that has always haunted him seems to have lifted. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not happy all the time, but no one is really.

  It’s Christmas day, which we’re spending at my parents’ house. We’ve been there for a few days now and plan to stay through New Year’s. While I had suggested we go to Virginia, not only because I know that his brother wanted him to come out there, but because I knew my mother was going to act like a weirdo, he asked if we could go to my home. Plus, there was the fact that I was worried I’d run into Caleb again, but my mother assured me he was behind bars, awaiting his trial. And Kayden said it was fair that we came here since I’d already spent time with his brother and sister. I didn’t feel too good about it, though, since the time I spent with his brother and sister-in-law was at the funeral, but he promised me he really wanted to go visit my family.

  Poor guy didn’t know what he was in store for.

  ‘I love Christmas,’ my mother singsongs as she waltzes around, picking up pieces of wrapping paper and putting them in a large garbage bag. She has on a green sweater, tan pants, and her socks have Christmas trees on them, and she’s dancing to Christmas music playing from the antique record player in the corner of the room. ‘It’s the best time of the year.’

  ‘You say that about Halloween and Thanksgiving, too,’ I say, glancing at Kayden who has a fist balled in front of his mouth to hide his chuckling at my mother’s madness. It’s so embarrassing, but I’m trying my hardest not to get embarrassed because I need to get used to it – Kayden learning all my family’s little quirks.

  ‘And Valentine’s Day and the Fourth of July,’ my dad says as he stacks the presents we just opened in a corner. He has on a red and green sweatshirt my mother made him wear all day to celebrate the festivities. ‘Not to mention New Year’s.’

  ‘Oh, I have so many plans for New Year’s.’ My mother sets the bag down and walks over to me, beaming. ‘I was thinking you and I could go shopping, get our hair done, then we could all go out to dinner.’ She glances at Kayden before looking at me. ‘All four of us.’

  I open my mouth to say … well, something that will get us out of that mess, but my father chimes in, giving me a devious look. ‘Actually, sweetie, I had something really special planned for you and me.’

  ‘Really?’ My mother claps her hands together and rushes over to him to give him a big hug.

  Run, my dad mouths from over my mother’s shoulder with a grin. Run while you can.

  He doesn’t have to ask me twice. I snatch ahold of Kayden’s hand and yank him out of the living room.

  ‘Oh my God,’ I hiss, guiding Kayden by the sleeve of his shirt across the kitchen and toward the back door away from my mother. Once we’re out of the house, I pick up the pace, hurrying across the driveway to the garage, worried my mother’s going to follow us. ‘I seriously think she’s like one step away from locking us in the house so she can keep us forever.’

  Kayden chuckles, amused by my embarrassment as he pinches my cheeks, like my mom has done to me a thousand times. ‘What can I say? I’m super lovable enough to want to keep me forever.’ He’s quoting something my mother said to him earlier when we were opening presents.

  ‘You are lovable,’ I tell him once we get inside the guest room above the garage and the door is safely shut behind us. And locked. ‘But she doesn’t need to tell you that every minute.’ I flop down on my back onto the air mattress, which is the only piece of furniture besides the space heater and the bathroom. I’m not complaining, though, since the reason it’s so bare is because the furniture now fills our apartment.

  ‘She’s just being nice,’ Kayden says, gazing down at me. His hair is ruffled, his jawline is scruffy, and he looks so happy. ‘And it’s nice that she wants to be so nice. It could be worse than an overnice mother.’

  ‘Yeah, I know,’ I sigh, knowing he’s right, that it could be worse, that I could have parents like his mother. ‘I just wish she’d be just a little bit less embarrassing.’ I raise my hand and make a pinching gesture with my fingers. ‘Maybe just a teeny, tiny bit.’

  ‘Yeah, I doubt that’s ever going to happen.’ Kayden slips his shirt off and chucks it aside. His jeans ride low on his hips, giving me a view of his abs and chest that is crisscrossed with scars. ‘I did find it funny when she kept cracking jokes about us getting married all through dinner.’ He kneels down on the mattress, nudging my knees open with his until I spread open my legs for him.

  ‘Oh God.’ Shaking my head, I cover my face with my hands. ‘I’m glad you find it funny because I’m sure most guys would be running for their lives.’

  The mattress moves as he leans over me and puts a hand on each side of my head. I crack my fingers apart and look at him. He’s been so much happier since the funeral, since
he said goodbye to his mother, since he put the past behind him. He seems to breathe freer, smile more, and it’s probably the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

  ‘Well, just make sure you really want this,’ I say as he moves one of my hands away from my eyes, ‘because you still have time to run.’

  He shakes his head, his tongue slipping out of his mouth to wet his lips. ‘No running here,’ he whispers in a raspy voice I know only means one thing – he wants me. ‘Ever.’ He moves my other hand away from my face then pins my arms above my head.

  A while ago, the movement would have sent my heart soaring and not in a good way. But now … well, it freaking soars like a bird high up in the sky, never wanting to return to land, ever. It soars because it’s free. It soars for him.

  ‘You want me,’ I tease as he leans down to kiss me.

  ‘You’re right,’ he says. ‘And then I want to give you your present.’

  ‘But you already gave me my present.’ I pat my pocket, inside which are the tickets to the concert he gave me. He said it was for a redo of a night that should have been special, but he couldn’t give it to me then. He was ready now to give me everything I deserve – his words not mine. My mom practically fainted when he said it. And me … well, I think I fell in love with Kayden even more.

  ‘Yeah, but that one was only the first part.’ He kisses me then softly bites my bottom lip before he leans back for air. ‘There’s more,’ he breathes against my lips, coming in for another kiss, ‘but you have to wait.’

  ‘Until when?’ I wonder, my heart skipping a beat as his hands wander to the button of my jeans.

  ‘Until we’re done with this.’ He gives me a wicked smile as he flicks my button undone.

  ‘That feels like blackmail …’ My back arches as his knuckles graze my stomach. ‘Good thing I like being blackmailed by you.’

  ‘God, I love that look in your eyes when I touch you,’ he says softly against my ear before nipping at my lobe.