Wishing for Us

  Lydia was fast losing her temper with the insane woman in front of her. She’d never been driven to violence against another person before, but she had to clench her fists at her sides to keep from wringing Chris’s neck. “Casey shouldn’t be a bargaining chip for any of us. She loves you both and wouldn’t understand suddenly not being able to see her father. No matter how angry you are at him or how you feel about me, she doesn’t deserve to be jerked away from a father who loves her more than anything.”

  Bracing for the attack, she was shocked when Chris shrugged her shoulders as if she’d suddenly lost interest in the argument that she’d started. “Whatever. I really don’t have time for this. I need to pick Casey up from my parents’ house.”

  As she made a beeline for the front door, Lydia said, “I’ll have Jake call you.”

  “Don’t bother.” Chris snorted. “I don’t have a problem finding him when I really need to. For that matter, he’ll come to me when I snap my fingers. He always does.” And that was her beautifully lobbed parting shot as she slammed out of the house. Lydia was almost certain she heard Chris chuckling as she walked away.

  With her head still spinning, she went directly to the kitchen and took out the leftover wine from dinner last night. If there was ever a time that she needed a drink, it was now. She grabbed a glass and stood propped against the counter as she finished one off in record time. Then without pausing, she poured a refill but forced herself to sip it at a more leisurely pace. She wandered through the house and ended up in Jake’s favorite recliner in the living room simply staring at the walls. She was still in that position when she heard keys rattle then the front door open and close.

  Jake appeared before her a few minutes later looking too handsome for a man who had worked twelve-plus hours that day. He leaned down and ran a finger over her cheek before brushing a kiss across her lips. “Hey, sweetheart, how was your baby shower? Did you have fun with your friends?”

  Lydia smiled wearily at him as he hunched down beside her. “It was amazing. Suzy is so happy and much more relaxed. Motherhood agrees with her in a major way. I’m thrilled to have Crystal home as well. Was Mark as giddy as she was after their honeymoon?”

  Jake chuckled before taking the glass from her hand and pulling her to her feet. He relaxed backward onto the sofa cushions and tucked her into his side. “You wouldn’t believe it. He was on cloud nine. Normally something as serious and costly as a labor dispute would have him chewing out everyone far and near. But he actually told the general manager in Boston that ‘these things happen.’ Hell, I don’t know who was the most surprised by that. His assistant, Denny, literally lost it. I didn’t think he’d ever stop laughing. I know it’s a bit crude, but the term ‘pussy-whipped’ has been making the rounds among the men.”

  Punching his arm, Lydia giggled. “You’re right, that is bad. I think it’s wonderful to see two people so blissfully in love that everything else in their lives seems better. I don’t believe there is much that could get to Crystal either at this point.”

  “Don’t get me wrong, babe, Mark definitely needed to de-stress some and she’s made that happen for him. When I first started with DeSanto, he was a control freak. He wanted to be in every place at once and handle even the smallest problem. But when she came into his life, that began to change. He no longer wanted to do all of the traveling or spend eighteen hours a day on the phone. He was finally able to delegate some of that to Denny and me. And even though Denny was perfectly happy being his driver and assistant, Mark has named him as co-vice president along with me. And I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving. Plus, it gives me someone to split travel with, as well, giving me more time at home with my daughter and my wife.”

  Lydia felt like she’d been hit by a bus as his words sank in. He’d included her with Casey as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Did he really want to be in the position to be home more because she was here? She could detect humor and playfulness behind his statement. Going out on a limb, she replied, “I know Casey will be happy to have you around more. And even though you haven’t been on a trip since we’ve been married, I’d certainly miss you if you were gone.”

  She let out a surprised squeak when he abruptly picked her up and resituated her on his lap. She ended up with her legs around his waist and her core pressed against his growing hardness. “That’s better,” he hissed as he took her lips. They kissed for what seemed like hours as he devoured her mouth. Her lips were swollen and tender by the time he pulled back enough to stare into her eyes. “I like hearing that you’d miss me, sweetheart, because I find that I can’t get through the day now without wanting to see you. Knowing you’re going to be here when I walk in that door at night does something to me that I never expected.”

  “And what’s that?” she asked shyly.

  “It makes me long for my wife. For the woman who has been sharing my bed and riding my cock every night.”

  Lydia started choking in shock at his raw, sensual words. He rubbed her gently on the back until she’d gathered her wits. “I like all of that,” she admitted.

  “That’s real good, baby, because I need to be inside you now. I’ve been thinking about that perfect moment when my dick slides into your hot tightness all day. Trust me,” he added wryly, “Mark isn’t the only one walking around at the office with his little head doing the thinking instead of the one on his shoulders.”

  In what was an embarrassing display of enthusiasm, Lydia practically leaped from his lap and pulled her clothing off. When Jake could only stare at her naked form, she tugged him by the hand until he stood as well. Then she proceeded to help him undress until they both stood before each other completely naked. She watched in confusion as he turned to toss a couple of throw pillows from the sofa onto the floor. “Should I sit there?” she asked as he moved closer to her.

  “Put your knees on them, baby, and get down on all fours. I’ve been dying to take you from behind, and tonight, I’m going to do that.” When she hesitated, he reached his hands around to grab her ass, kneading it firmly. “You’ll love it, sweetheart. I’ll be deeper than I’ve ever been.”

  She knew that he’d make it good for her; he always did. Jake never took his pleasure until she’d found hers at least twice. She couldn’t imagine there being a more unselfish lover out there. He got down onto his knees next to her and helped her find the position that he wanted. When he was finished, her ass was in the air and her face rested on another pillow. He began caressing her backside, seemingly obsessed with it. Then without further warning, he slid a finger through the moisture that had gathered between her legs. “Ohhh, Jake,” she moaned as her sex contracted from the sensation. He lazily circled her clit until she could hear the embarrassing sounds of how wet she was.

  “You are so fucking beautiful, baby—absolute perfection.” Finally, he stopped tormenting her and pushed one of his thick fingers into her channel. It felt different from this angle, more intense, and she knew she wouldn’t last for long. When he slid the second finger inside and pushed deep, she came so quickly that she lunged forward in surprise. Jake caught her by the hips, keeping her upright until she’d found her balance once again. “I’ve gotta be inside you now. I’m going to go hard and fast. Let me know if it’s too much and I’ll slow down,” he said raggedly.

  She heard a rip and knew he was putting a condom on. She had no idea where he’d gotten it. Maybe he carried a stash all the time now. Then she could feel him there, pushing his wide tip against her slit. Without thinking, she rocked backward and gasped as she impaled herself on his big shaft. “Oh God!” she moaned. “It’s too much, Jake.”

  “Shhh.” He stroked her back soothingly. “Let me know when you’re ready for me to move. I’ll give you time to adjust, sweetheart.” As she wiggled experimentally, she heard him take a ragged breath. The pressure was easing, and in its place was a hunger that she knew only he could extinguish.
br />   “I’m ready,” she whimpered as her need continued to grow. She gripped the pillow under her head and held on as Jake made some shallow thrusts before plunging deep. “Yes!” she cried out. Before long, they’d established a rhythm as she met him thrust for thrust. The sound of slapping flesh and their groans of bliss as they raced toward the peak together filled the room. When her knees began to wobble, Jake pulled her backward and wrapped one arm around her chest and the other hand went between her legs, rubbing her clit. After only a few strokes, she was screaming his name as she came around his cock. Her contractions pushed him over the edge, and with a harsh shout, he found his release as well.

  After that, they were a leaden tangle of limbs on the floor for several minutes. Jake had pulled out of her and was now laying draped over her back as they both fought to quiet their breathing. She felt like a sated, but sweaty, mess. If she had any energy at all left in her body, she’d go clean up, but that wasn’t an option right now. Since Jake was also damp and sticky, she figured they canceled each other out. “You okay?” he asked as he rubbed lazy circles on her thigh.

  “Mmm, I’m great,” she assured him as she enjoyed the afterglow closeness. Even though they’d been together for only a short time, he never treated her as if she didn’t matter. He touched and kissed her for a long time after most sexual encounters. A few quickies hadn’t left time for that, but otherwise, Jake liked to take his time with her. It was then that she recalled the earlier confrontation with Chris. She hated to ruin the moment, but she needed to tell him what had happened in case he wanted to do some type of damage control with the mother of his child. Clearing her throat, she said, “The reason I was inhaling a glass of wine when you came home was because Chris came by earlier under the pretense of talking to you.”

  She felt him stiffen behind her before he asked, “You think she actually wanted to see you?” She noticed he didn’t seem surprised in the least by that.

  “I think so, yes. She did ask where you were at first, but I got the feeling that wasn’t the reason she stopped by. I think she wanted to feel me out and to let me know that she has the inside track with you.”

  “For fuck’s sake,” he bit out. “I knew things had been entirely too quiet on that front lately.” He moved to lie on his back and pulled her to his chest. Cupping her cheek, he asked, “Did she upset you, sweetheart?”

  “She made me a little angry, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I think she knows or, at least, guesses that we married because of your concern for Casey. She mentioned it while she was telling me that you wouldn’t have any use for me after she backed off on her threats.”

  “I’m actually surprised it took her this long to seek you out,” he said, sounding exasperated. “And please don’t take anything she said seriously. She’s pissed that you have what she wanted. It’s that simple. She doesn’t care at all about the people involved.”

  Doing exactly the thing that Crystal had warned her against, Lydia found herself asking, “But do I really have that, Jake? You have to admit we haven’t talked about what’s going on between us and I’m a little confused about where we’re going. Especially if Chris does back off and the threat of losing Casey isn’t there for you.” What am I doing? Me and my big mouth!

  He studied her intently for a moment before asking, “Are you not happy with how things have been since you’ve been here?”

  “What? No—I mean yes! It’s been amazing. I love living here and being with you.” Crap, why did I toss out the love word?

  “I feel the same,” he stunned her by admitting. “So please disregard Chris and her jealous rage.”

  “Okay,” she whispered softly. It wasn’t until she was dozing in bed later that she realized he’d never answered her question. Other than him admitting to enjoying their current situation, he’d made no promises or mentioned anything about the future. Had it been a mere oversight or had he ignored that part on purpose? She couldn’t bring it up again anytime soon without looking like some kind of insecure clinger. For now, if she wanted to be with Jake, she would have to take each day as it came and hope he saw her as more than someone to warm his bed.

  For the first time since she’d taken the plunge and moved in with him, she missed her old life. Sure, she’d only been half-alive, but her stress level had been so much lower. Really, when you had nothing left to lose, what was there to worry about? Life as the neighborhood cat lady? These days it felt like she suddenly had a lot on the line that she stood to lose.

  Chapter Eight

  I’m an asshole, Jake thought the next morning as he sat in his office at the Myrtle Beach DeSanto headquarters. He’d evaded Lydia’s question about their future last night and had been relieved when she hadn’t called him on it. Truthfully, he hadn’t known what to say. He’d never expected to feel the array of confusing emotions that had come with becoming intimately involved with the woman who was legally his wife. Hell, even that word still turned him on. How powerful it felt to have one woman who belonged with you. Even if it was just on paper.

  As much as it called to the alpha inside him, it confused the hell out of a guy who’d never spent much time in relationships. His career had always come first to him. It had been years since he’d had more than a casual relationship with a woman. Then in one crazy night, he’d gotten married to someone he barely knew. His wild attraction to the mixture of strength and innocence that shone so brightly from Lydia hadn’t waned—in fact, it had only grown stronger the more time they spent together.

  He felt like a coward now, though, for avoiding the relationship talk she’d wanted to have. He’d already picked up on the fact that she had a shy side, and it must have been tough for her to initiate something like that. It wasn’t in a man’s DNA to admit that he was clueless as to what was happening or where it was going. But that’s exactly how he felt. He knew damn sure that he wasn’t ready for it to be over, though. Possibly, it made him a selfish prick for wanting everything that she had to give him while not being able to give her any answers in return.

  He was so mired in his thoughts that he almost jumped from his chair when a voice suddenly asked, “Everything running smoothly in Boston this morning?” He looked up to see Mark propped against the doorway, looking faintly amused. “You were a million miles away, weren’t you, and I don’t think it had anything to do with Boston.”

  For the first time in ages, he felt like a blushing schoolboy. When he was in the office, his mind was on work. He didn’t sit around daydreaming about a woman. To get busted doing just that felt beyond strange. “It’s nothing.” He shrugged. “Just getting things straight in my head for the day.”

  He and Mark didn’t really have a touchy-feely relationship; heck, most men didn’t, so he was surprised when his boss came in and settled in a chair in front of his desk. “How are things going with the new wife?”

  Quirking a brow, Jacob asked, “Shouldn’t that be a question for you to answer? You’re the newlywed fresh from his honeymoon.”

  “I am,” Mark agreed, looking supremely satisfied. “But you tied the knot more suddenly and under rather unusual circumstances. Frankly, I figured you’d have had the marriage annulled by now, or if necessary, been in the process of a divorce. But Crystal tells me that things are going well between you and Lydia. Which I knew anyway since you had no beef with Denny taking over much of the travel here. You once loved living out of a suitcase just as much as I did, so I’m thinking she’s the difference for you.”

  “Are you saying I’m slacking on my job?” Jacob asked incredulously. “If Denny has complained—”

  “Denny is as happy as a fat cat with an unlimited food supply,” Mark cut in. “He’s single and currently not seeing anyone so the travel is exciting to him. I’d hazard a guess to say it’s the best part of his new job. You go above and beyond for me, so there are no worries there. I was simply making a point that you’re content being in town more now, a
nd I’m happy for you. I don’t know Lydia that well, but Crystal has a very high opinion of her. Anyway, good luck with—”

  Mark was getting to his feet when Jacob blurted out, “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

  The other man looked startled at his outburst before lowering himself back down and asking wryly, “I’m guessing we aren’t talking about work since you can do that in your sleep.”

  “No.” Jacob shook his head. “It’s Lydia—my wife. She’s amazing with my daughter and I’m running home every day like a love-struck fool just to be around her for the evening. I swear to you, I almost asked her the other night if she wanted to do the crossword puzzle in the paper with me.”

  Obviously trying but failing to hide his smirk, Mark asked, “And that’s a problem why?”

  “I’ve never done a fucking puzzle before in my life, man. Have you?” Jacob demanded.

  Chuckling, Mark said, “No, can’t say as I have. But there’s nothing wrong with it. It shows that you want to do whatever is necessary to spend time with your wife. People change when they get married. You find yourself doing stuff you wouldn’t normally do. Hell, I bought my first box of tampons a couple of weeks ago. Walked straight into Walgreens, picked up the box, and dropped it on the counter like I was purchasing a case of large-size condoms. Then I grabbed the box before the kid could even bag it and ended up walking down four fucking aisles of traffic in the parking lot with them. So, yeah, your crossword dilemma doesn’t exactly blow me away. It only gets worse, my friend. But I’m happy as a pig rolling in shit, so what the hell does it matter?”

  Jacob burst out laughing at Mark’s analogy. He couldn’t imagine the uptight control freak that Mark DeSanto had always been admitting to buying tampons and being happy about it. Maybe his paranoia was ruining what could be something good between him and Lydia. He’d already married her so didn’t he owe it to them both to give it a try? After only a few weeks, he couldn’t imagine going back to his life without her—that had to say an awful lot about his feelings for her. Looking at his boss, and friend, he said sincerely, “Thank you for that. I’m a little worried about what you’ve done in the name of love so far, but hey, no judgment here, brother. I’m sure I’d do the same if Lydia really needed it. I’d damn well get that bag before I left the store, though.”