The American Claimant

  CHAPTER II.

  COLONEL MULBERRY SELLERS--this was some days before he wrote his letterto Lord Rossmore--was seated in his "library," which was also his"drawing-room" and was also his "picture gallery" and likewise his"work-shop." Sometimes he called it by one of these names, sometimesby another, according to occasion and circumstance. He was constructingwhat seemed to be some kind of a frail mechanical toy; and wasapparently very much interested in his work. He was a white-headedman, now, but otherwise he was as young, alert, buoyant, visionaryand enterprising as ever. His loving old wife sat near by, contentedlyknitting and thinking, with a cat asleep in her lap. The room was large,light, and had a comfortable look, in fact a home-like look, thoughthe furniture was of a humble sort and not over abundant, and theknickknacks and things that go to adorn a living-room not plenty and notcostly. But there were natural flowers, and there was an abstract andunclassifiable something about the place which betrayed the presence inthe house of somebody with a happy taste and an effective touch.

  Even the deadly chromos on the walls were somehow without offence; infact they seemed to belong there and to add an attraction to the room--afascination, anyway; for whoever got his eye on one of them was like togaze and suffer till he died--you have seen that kind of pictures.Some of these terrors were landscapes, some libeled the sea, somewere ostensible portraits, all were crimes. All the portraits wererecognizable as dead Americans of distinction, and yet, through labelingadded, by a daring hand, they were all doing duty here as "Earls ofRossmore." The newest one had left the works as Andrew Jackson, but wasdoing its best now, as "Simon Lathers Lord Rossmore, Present Earl." Onone wall was a cheap old railroad map of Warwickshire. This had beennewly labeled "The Rossmore Estates." On the opposite wall was anothermap, and this was the most imposing decoration of the establishment andthe first to catch a stranger's attention, because of its great size. Ithad once borne simply the title SIBERIA; but now the word "FUTURE" hadbeen written in front of that word. There were other additions, in redink--many cities, with great populations set down, scattered overthe vast-country at points where neither cities nor populations existto-day. One of these cities, with population placed at 1,500,000,bore the name "Libertyorloffskoizalinski," and there was a still morepopulous one, centrally located and marked "Capital," which bore thename "Freedomolovnaivanovich."

  The "mansion"--the Colonel's usual name for the house--was a rickety oldtwo-story frame of considerable size, which had been painted, some timeor other, but had nearly forgotten it. It was away out in the raggededge of Washington and had once been somebody's country place. It hada neglected yard around it, with paling fence that needed straighteningup, in places, and a gate that would stay shut. By the door-post wereseveral modest tin signs. "Col. Mulberry Sellers, Attorney at Law andClaim Agent," was the principal one. One learned from the others thatthe Colonel was a Materializer, a Hypnotizer, a Mind-Cure dabbler; andso on. For he was a man who could always find things to do.

  A white-headed negro man, with spectacles and damaged white cottongloves appeared in the presence, made a stately obeisance and announced:

  "Marse Washington Hawkins, suh."

  "Great Scott! Show him in, Dan'l, show him in."

  The Colonel and his wife were on their feet in a moment, and thenext moment were joyfully wringing the hands of a stoutish,discouraged-looking man whose general aspect suggested that he was fiftyyears old, but whose hair swore to a hundred.

  "Well, well, well, Washington, my boy, it is good to look at you again.Sit down, sit down, and make yourself at home. There, now--why, you lookperfectly natural; aging a little, just a little, but you'd have knownhim anywhere, wouldn't you, Polly?"

  "Oh, yes, Berry, he's just like his pa would have looked if he'd lived.Dear, dear, where have you dropped from? Let me see, how long is itsince--"

  "I should say it's all of fifteen years, Mrs. Sellers."

  "Well, well, how time does get away with us. Yes, and oh, the changesthat--"

  There was a sudden catch of her voice and a trembling of the lip, themen waiting reverently for her to get command of herself and go on; butafter a little struggle she turned away, with her apron to her eyes, andsoftly disappeared.

  "Seeing you made her think of the children, poor thing--dear, dear,they're all dead but the youngest.

  "But banish care, it's no time for it now--on with the dance, let joy beunconfined is my motto, whether there's any dance to dance; or any joyto unconfine--you'll be the healthier for it every time,--every time,Washington--it's my experience, and I've seen a good deal of this world.Come--where have you disappeared to all these years, and are you fromthere, now, or where are you from?"

  "I don't quite think you would ever guess, Colonel. Cherokee Strip."

  "My land!"

  "Sure as you live."

  "You can't mean it. Actually living out there?"

  "Well, yes, if a body may call it that; though it's a pretty strongterm for 'dobies and jackass rabbits, boiled beans and slap-jacks,depression, withered hopes, poverty in all its varieties--"

  "Louise out there?"

  "Yes, and the children."

  "Out there now?"

  "Yes, I couldn't afford to bring them with me."

  "Oh, I see,--you had to come--claim against the government. Makeyourself perfectly easy--I'll take care of that."

  "But it isn't a claim against the government."

  "No? Want to be postmaster? That's all right. Leave it to me. I'll fixit."

  "But it isn't postmaster--you're all astray yet."

  "Well, good gracious, Washington, why don't you come out and tell mewhat it is? What, do you want to be so reserved and distrustful with anold friend like me for? Don't you reckon I can keep a se--"

  "There's no secret about it--you merely don't give me a chance to--"

  "Now look here, old friend, I know the human race; and I know that whena man comes to Washington, I don't care if it's from heaven, let aloneCherokee-Strip, it's because he wants something. And I know that asa rule he's not going to get it; that he'll stay and try--for anotherthing and won't get that; the same luck with the next and the nextand the next; and keeps on till he strikes bottom, and is too poorand ashamed to go back, even to Cherokee Strip; and at last his heartbreaks--and they take up a collection and bury him. There--don'tinterrupt me, I know what I'm talking about. Happy and prosperous in theFar West wasn't I? You know that. Principal citizen of Hawkeye, lookedup to by everybody, kind of an autocrat, actually a kind of an autocrat,Washington. Well, nothing would do but I must go Minister to St.James, the Governor and everybody insisting, you know, and so at last Iconsented--no getting out of it, had to do it, so here I came. A day toolate, Washington. Think of that--what little things change the world'shistory--yes, sir, the place had been filled. Well, there I was, yousee. I offered to compromise and go to Paris. The President was verysorry and all that, but that place, you see, didn't belong to the West,so there I was again. There was no help for it, so I had to stoop alittle--we all reach the day some time or other when we've got to dothat, Washington, and it's not a bad thing for us, either, take it byand large and all around--I had to stoop a little and offer totake Constantinople. Washington, consider this--for it's perfectlytrue--within a month I asked for China; within another month I beggedfor Japan; one year later I was away down, down, down, supplicating withtears and anguish for the bottom office in the gift of the governmentof the United States--Flint-Picker in the cellars of the War Department.And by George I didn't get it."

  "Flint-Picker?"

  "Yes. Office established in the time of the Revolution, last century.The musket-flints for the military posts were supplied from the capitol.They do it yet; for although the flint-arm has gone out and the fortshave tumbled down, the decree hasn't been repealed--been overlookedand forgotten, you see--and so the vacancies where old Ticonderoga andothers used to stand, still get their six quarts of gun-flints a yearjust the same."

  Washington said musingly after a pause:


  "How strange it seems--to start for Minister to England at twentythousand a year and fail for flintpicker at--"

  "Three dollars a week. It's human life, Washington--just an epitome ofhuman ambition, and struggle, and the outcome: you aim for the palaceand get drowned in the sewer."

  There was another meditative silence. Then Washington said, with earnestcompassion in his voice--

  "And so, after coming here, against your inclination, to satisfy yoursense of patriotic duty and appease a selfish public clamor, you getabsolutely nothing for it."

  "Nothing?" The Colonel had to get up and stand, to get room for hisamazement to expand. "Nothing, Washington? I ask you this: to be aperpetual Member and the only Perpetual Member of a Diplomatic Bodyaccredited to the greatest country on earth do you call that nothing?"

  It was Washington's turn to be amazed. He was stricken dumb; but thewide-eyed wonder, the reverent admiration expressed in his face weremore eloquent than any words could have been. The Colonel's woundedspirit was healed and he resumed his seat pleased and content. He leanedforward and said impressively:

  "What was due to a man who had become forever conspicuous by anexperience without precedent in the history of the world?--a man madepermanently and diplomatically sacred, so to speak, by having beenconnected, temporarily, through solicitation, with every singlediplomatic post in the roster of this government, from EnvoyExtraordinary and Minister Plenipotentiary to the Court of St. James allthe way down to Consul to a guano rock in the Strait of Sunda--salarypayable in guano--which disappeared by volcanic convulsion the daybefore they got down to my name in the list of applicants. Certainlysomething august enough to be answerable to the size of this unique andmemorable experience was my due, and I got it. By the common voice ofthis community, by acclamation of the people, that mighty utterancewhich brushes aside laws and legislation, and from whose decrees thereis no appeal, I was named Perpetual Member of the Diplomatic Bodyrepresenting the multifarious sovereignties and civilizations of theglobe near the republican court of the United States of America. Andthey brought me home with a torchlight procession."

  "It is wonderful, Colonel, simply wonderful."

  "It's the loftiest official position in the whole earth."

  "I should think so--and the most commanding."

  "You have named the word. Think of it. I frown, and there is war; Ismile, and contending nations lay down their arms."

  "It is awful. The responsibility, I mean."

  "It is nothing. Responsibility is no burden to me; I am used to it; havealways been used to it."

  "And the work--the work! Do you have to attend all the sittings?"

  "Who, I? Does the Emperor of Russia attend the conclaves of thegovernors of the provinces? He sits at home, and indicates hispleasure."

  Washington was silent a moment, then a deep sigh escaped him.

  "How proud I was an hour ago; how paltry seems my little promotionnow! Colonel, the reason I came to Washington is,--I am CongressionalDelegate from Cherokee Strip!"

  The Colonel sprang to his feet and broke out with prodigious enthusiasm:

  "Give me your hand, my boy--this is immense news! I congratulate youwith all my heart. My prophecies stand confirmed. I always said itwas in you. I always said you were born for high distinction and wouldachieve it. You ask Polly if I didn't."

  Washington was dazed by this most unexpected demonstration.

  "Why, Colonel, there's nothing to it. That little narrow, desolate,unpeopled, oblong streak of grass and gravel, lost in the remote wastesof the vast continent--why, it's like representing a billiard table--adiscarded one."

  "Tut-tut, it's a great, it's a staving preferment, and just opulent withinfluence here."

  "Shucks, Colonel, I haven't even a vote."

  "That's nothing; you can make speeches."

  "No, I can't. The population's only two hundred--"

  "That's all right, that's all right--"

  "And they hadn't any right to elect me; we're not even a territory,there's no Organic Act, the government hasn't any official knowledge ofus whatever."

  "Never mind about that; I'll fix that. I'll rush the thing through, I'llget you organized in no time."

  "Will you, Colonel?--it's too good of you; but it's just your oldsterling self, the same old ever-faithful friend," and the gratefultears welled up in Washington's eyes.

  "It's just as good as done, my boy, just as good as done. Shake hands.We'll hitch teams together, you and I, and we'll make things hum!"