Mission Earth Volume 1: The Invaders Plan

  I was the picture of glad but secret tidings. I glanced around and saw a hidden corner back of some old machines. “I have wonderful news,” I whispered. I went over to the corner, beckoning.

  She came over. I glanced all around and made very sure that we could not be seen nor overheard and also that no one could come up on us suddenly.

  I beckoned with my fingers to get her to move even closer. I whispered, “I have just had the most glorious audience.”

  That phrasing meant only one thing. “The Emperor?” she said. “You?”

  I looked very modest. I fiddled with my emerald insignia locket. “Really, it is because Jettero is so important.” I knew she would accept that. “But who can fail to shine in reflection of his glory. It is just that I have the good fortune to be associated with him.” She was buying it.

  “You see,” I continued, “I was terribly concerned that he might be injured or hurt.” Aha, the (bleepch) thought that the hypnotic suggestion was still in place, (bleep) her. She was nodding: she thought she understood that very well.

  “So I have gently been pulling strings,” I continued with the most innocent face I could manage. Then I looked around to make sure we were alone and drew much closer to her and dropped my voice. “I really should not be telling you any of this. It is the most secret of State secrets. It was thoroughly impressed upon me that I must not reveal it to a soul!”

  I managed to look puzzled, very slightly. “I am not sure why I felt so compelled to come and tell you at once.” Ah, she was really buying it, the filthy (bleepch) with her hypnotic tricks! I put on a “little boy” look that women can’t reject—it raises the motherhood in them. “But in addition to that, I really could not see how I could do it alone. I desperately need your help.”

  Oh, she was eager to give it. Anything that had to do with Heller was her top, and maybe only, priority.

  I resumed the confidential manner. “I could probably be severely punished for revealing any of this,” I said. And then seemed to regret my incaution and drew back a bit. But women are absolute sponges of curiosity.

  “I promise no one else will hear it from me,” she said eagerly.

  “It would be my life if they did,” I said. I resumed. “Really, I have no choice as I need your help in this. May we sit down?”

  I raked a couple of stools over into the hidden corner. By turning our faces to the wall, slightly, it was doubly difficult for anyone to see what we were about should they walk up. I began to undo a couple of my tunic buttons and reached in as though about to produce the packet. But I didn’t. Her eagerness, of course, became intense enough to overweigh some of her natural critical sense.

  “Before dawn this morning,” I whispered, “a Palace City air-limousine came for me secretly. Honestly, I was terrified at first: I thought I was being taken for interrogation. They brought me into the palace by a back route and through a secret door. They led me to a room that had a vast swimming bath. Honestly, I never knew they threw rare rugs around the edges of a swimming bath. I waited for half an hour—I was very nervous, I can tell you.

  “And then there he was! I could hardly believe my eyes, he is so seldom seen. He entered in a sparkling morning robe. Cling the Lofty himself! Honestly, I could have died. There I was in no dress uniform or anything.

  “His Majesty said, ‘Is this the officer in charge of Mission Earth?’ and the escort officer said it was.

  “The king took his robe off and took his morning swim—honestly, I didn’t know he swam every morning: and in a diamond pool, too! Imagine it!

  “I just stood and waited, scared to death, not knowing what I’d done wrong. But after a while His Majesty came out of the bath and lay down on some cushions and a couple of his yellow-men began to lard him with perfumes. He made a gesture at a spot near him and the escort shoved me to that spot.

  “His Majesty said, ‘I have always believed that Jettero Heller was a very good man.’”

  As I expected, this produced an instant reaction from her. Wide-eyed. Amongst a hundred and ten planets and tens of millions of officers, one would not expect an Emperor, even one with a brilliant memory, to know the name of a junior officer. She was now grabbing for every word. To myself, I thought, you asked for it, you (bleepch), and now you are getting it.

  I continued, “After a bit His Majesty looked at me puzzled. He said, ‘So there is some other reason why he is delaying his departure on this mission and I have brought you here to tell me!’

  “Honestly, I expected his next words would order me executed. Well, I am not that brave. And so I am afraid I betrayed some confidences. No, no,” I added hastily, “don’t start so with alarm. This has a very happy ending.” It filled me with private glee to say those words. The “happy ending” would be total tragedy for them both.

  “Forgive me, Countess. I am an officer and know where my duty lies. I am even imperiling myself to relate this to you. But what could I say? Now,” I said, changing the subject slightly, “has Jettero shown you the clipping? The one that concerns you?”

  She probably didn’t know that I knew. She nodded.

  I continued, “I had never heard of it before. If I had, I would have acted sooner. But to get on. I had to tell His Majesty the real reason the mission was delayed.”

  I could practically hear her heart beating rapidly inside her chest.

  “His Majesty hectored me. He told me that the most vast and secret affairs of state depended upon a successful completion of that mission. He sounded very provoked and when it occurred to me that, because of this, he might hurt Heller, I got very sick at my stomach! The thought was that awful.”

  Gullible (bleepch). You think that hypnotic suggestion is still in place. Ah, you’re going to pay for that, (bleep) you. Look at you nod!

  I drew a long breath as though it had been a painful moment. And then I got back to my lying. “Sick as I felt, I simply had to plead with him. Oh, I tell you, even the yellow-men rubbing the perfumed lard into him were frightened that anyone should seek to plead with the Emperor about anything. But something, I don’t know what, was making me desperate.

  “I told him that he knew and I knew that Jettero Heller was the only one who could do the mission to Blito-P3. He agreed with that, as Jettero had done the original mission. And then I did something I couldn’t ever before have imagined myself capable of. I suggested—imagine that, suggesting something to Cling the Lofty! I don’t know where I found the courage—that if Jettero Heller’s immediate personal problems were removed, the mission could go quite quickly.

  “And you know what he did? Oh, it is plain to see why he is the Emperor! He called in his scribes right that moment and he dictated to them. And they wrote it all down. And then he rolled over and looked at me and he said, ‘Never let it be believed that I do not concern myself with the welfare of my officers and subjects. Part of the power of ruling should always be devoted to justice. But you will note that the second document is unsigned. The mission is important to the State beyond belief. See to it.’ And then he had them give me the documents and he waved to them to take me off.”

  I glanced around to verify that we were still hidden. The sounds of the training room even seemed far away. I drew from under my blouse the packet.

  I reverently opened the first one and, holding it, let her read it.

  Adorned and embellished and covered with swirls and curling letters it said:

  Secret

  Not to Be Unauthorizedly Seen

  Know All:

  We, Cling the Lofty, Majestic and Undisputed Ruler of the vast Realm of Galaxies, Stars and Planets known throughout Heavens as the Voltar Confederacy, Emperor of All Dominions Whatever, Conquered & as Yet Unconquered, Do Hereby and Herewith Secretly Decree:

  The MISSION BLITO-P3 of current date, secret and vital to the realm, shall go forward with complete speed, dispatch and expedition, without compromise or halt.

  And I do pledge our Royal and inviolate word to wit:

&nbs
p; That when Jettero Heller, Grade Ten, Combat Engineer, Fleet Corps of Engineers, shall have successfully concluded said MISSION, even though it be easy and nonperilous, he shall be suitably rewarded. It is noted that he has served as a frontline combat engineer three times as long as the normal life expectancy in that profession and it is unreasonable to expect he would survive much longer.

  Therefore, to wit and witness:

  Upon the return of said Jettero Heller, reserving only that he shall have rapidly carried it out to complete success, he shall be attached thereafter to the Royal Staff of Palace City, freed from the absences and perils of the Fleet.

  SEALED, SIGNED, STAMPED,

  VALIDATED, AUTHORIZED &

  LOGGED THIS DATE:

  Cling the Lofty Emperor!

  She was hardly breathing. All this stuff about safety! How clever of me! I had had it measured exactly! The (bleepch), there she sat, utterly starry-eyed!

  After a while she sort of came out of it. “You said there were two.”

  “Yes. But this one is unsigned. His Majesty is quite clever. He wants something. He wants this mission. He promised to sign this second one when presented and when the mission is successfully completed. See, that’s what it says.”

  I unfolded the second forgery and held it so she could read it. It, too, had all the swirls and curling letters. It said:

  Secret

  To Be Signed on the Completion of

  Mission Blito-P3

  Know all:

  We, Cling the Lofty, Majestic and Undisputed Ruler of the vast Realm of the Galaxies, Stars and Planets known throughout Heavens as the Voltar Confederacy, Emperor of All Dominions Whatever, Conquered & as Yet Unconquered, Do Hereby and Herewith Secretly Decree:

  The female once known as Lissus Moam, actually of the family of Krak and also known as the Countess Krak, by reason of a deathbed confession of the true instigator of numerous crimes, is resurrected from the dead and is restored not only her papers and identity but also all the lands once held by said noble family Krak.

  Royal permission is also granted to this said person to marry Jettero Heller, but only at such time as he has joined the Royal Staff on transfer from the Fleet.

  NOT VALID UNTIL SEALED, SIGNED, STAMPED,

  VALIDATED & AUTHORIZED BY FINAL

  SIGNATURE

  BUT LOGGED THIS DATE

  AS AN ORDER

  PENDING SIGNATURE.

  Her cheeks were flushed. Her eyes were almost glassy with stunned comprehension. One of her hands was fluttering at her breast. She was having a little trouble breathing.

  Ah, you (bleepch). Your expectations are high, now, aren’t they? I put the documents back in their covers and into the waterproof sleeve.

  “So you see,” I said smoothly, “I have saved dear Jettero the trouble of going through all the legal nonsense of getting you restored to life. All he has to do is go quickly on his mission, finish it rapidly, return, present these papers at the palace and the rest of your lives will be a beautiful dream.” It gave me a lot of satisfaction. Heller would never come back. And anybody presenting these forgeries at Palace City would pray for death for days before they got through with them. But, of course, none of this would ever get that far.

  “There is only one trouble,” I said.

  She looked at me with abrupt attention.

  I said, smoothly, “Jettero will probably not take to being cast out of the Fleet. You know how he is. It would mean almost death to him.”

  She considered it. She knew it was not without truth.

  I went on, “So this is where I need your help. I am the mission handler and these documents are supposed to be known only to me. I am afraid Jettero will balk or try to see friends and get all this modified. It would make the Emperor furious. It would put Jettero in grave danger.”

  She could see that.

  “Now, let’s be reasonable,” I said. “This is an easy mission, nothing dangerous about it. The sooner he goes, the sooner he will return. The help I need is for you, without telling him anything about these documents, to persuade him to go, to quickly complete the mission and get back. You have to use all your wiles. You can’t use these documents. Can I have that help?”

  I watched her, my face betraying nothing of Heller’s real future.

  The Countess Krak thought it over very carefully. “I will do it on one condition.”

  I waited.

  “If,” she said, “you let me hold those documents myself, I will do my best to persuade Jettero to leave as soon as possible and get back quickly.”

  It brought me no surprise. I had actually thought it might occur and the dangers to me of these documents being exposed was, I thought, minimal. Actually, I took a sort of glee in her having on her these forgeries. Like I was putting a big death stamp right in the middle of her lovely forehead. (Bleep) her.

  “If,” I said, in my turn, “you give me your solemn word that you will not show them to Heller, that you will not mention them to him, then you can hold them. But,” I said, quite factually but with double meaning, “there is danger in it for you. They are Royal documents and a person in your legal status would be imperiled by their possession.”

  “There is a chance,” she said, “that you might, shall we say, misplace them? I think it is safer that I hold them, don’t you, Soltan? Then they will appear when needed.”

  I shook my head sadly. “You should trust me more. I don’t want to see Heller hurt.”

  Ah, well, she thought she knew that.

  She took the waterproof packet, verified the documents were still in there, closed it all up and strapped it to her body and pulled down her jumper over it. It made no slightest bulge.

  Then she looked at me. “I have to say thank you, Soltan. You deserve my gratitude.”

  She was thanking me for putting a knife in her heart.

  I left.

  All the way back to Government City I actively had to suppress shouting and laughing exultantly. It sort of put flavoring on the bun to also think of an additional power I now had. One word from me to search her and she’d be tortured and killed by experts because of what they’d find. That wasn’t part of the plan. It was just a bit of perfume wafting up.

  I controlled myself with effort. I had a lot to do now. A lot to do! This was only the beginning!

  PART NINE

  Chapter 8

  We flew directly to Communication Complex Towers. There is no place that has more traffic, as everyone knows. Air, ground, pedestrian, tens of thousands of people move through it every day, paying their communication bills, arranging for new Homeview service, placing difficult calls to the next inner and next outer planets of this system and just plain complaining about the service. What I wanted was the uppermost dome, Central Directory.

  Heller was going to get operated on and bugged—real good!

  My driver muttered and complained his way along the tight traffic channels, trying to keep his new paint on the airbus and not on somebody else’s.

  I was busy in the back. I took a second set of top-row teeth out of my pocket and put it under my upper lip. I popped color shifters into my eyes so instead of brown they would be bright green. I took off my rank locket and put it in my pocket.

  The driver had us in under the dome overhang and into a slot that said:

  TEN MINUTES! THIS MEANS YOU!

  He said, “Don’t you be too long or I’ll get a fender bash from the local bluebottles!”

  “Before much longer, you’re going to be rich,” I said. “So shut up.”

  “Hey,” he said, suddenly interested. “You gonna rob this place?” Silly nut. They don’t even keep money in Central Directory.

  I sauntered in. Actually there were no more than one or two thousand enquirers and there were a lot of empty interview chairs. I was looking for a female clerk that could turn out to be a complete nitwit. Somebody really dumb. I found her simply by the fact that other customers were avoiding her counter area. This would not t
ake long.

  “We have an emergency,” I said. “We need the absolute top authority on cellology in Voltar.”

  Her hair was done up in a tall peak like a temple. Probably that was the shape of her skull underneath. I had to explain what a cellologist was. She punched it out on her keyboard and the symbols appeared on the desktop before her, upside down to me. I can read upside down. Anybody in the Apparatus can.

  “You want his communications number?” said vacuum brain. That’s what they do in Central Directory.

  “I have to make sure he’s the top authority first. Do you mind?” I reached over across the desktop to the key ranks. I started punching and this lunkhead just sat there interestedly watching me.

  You can strip down a lot of data from these communication information consoles. They run off whole categories of professions as well as businesses. They tell you where this or that person can be reached right then if he is in the habit of inspecting calls. To keep from confusing this person with that, they give full identoplate data. And in case the person wants some new service, they give his credit rating.

  It was nursery school stuff to get all the senior teaching cellologists on Voltar, to get their credit ratings—which is an index to how high up they are in a profession—to get the listed full identoplate data of these top ones, where they were right this minute and to get every bit of that data rolled off and delivered.

  Temple-skull just sat and watched me operate her machine backwards. Maybe she was learning how to use it. Who knows?

  When I had the stack of sheets, I said, “Oh, dear! These will be much too expensive!” There was no such data on any sheet I had pulled but chuckle-wit nodded wisely. Where do they find these girls? Back country of Taugo? Where the men have tails?

  I punched in cellologists who had very recently had new office service installed, which meant they had just completed all their training, had passed all examinations of qualification. Then I got their full credit backgrounds including histories and origins. Then I got their identoplates. It was a foot-high stack.