Loving Cara

  “Josh? What’s wrong?”

  “I love you.”

  She pulls back and narrows her eyes as she watches me, looking for what, I don’t know. She finally drops her shoulders and sighs in defeat, but offers me a wobbly smile.

  “I love you too.”

  CHAPTER

  Thirteen

  CARA

  I’m sitting in my favorite chair, a cup of hot tea in my hands and Daughtry singing “Tennessee Line” over my sound system. It’s late in the evening, and my home is cool, thanks to the air-conditioning unit my parents had installed ten years ago when the summer heat was becoming too much for them.

  It’s everything that I love about my house, and I hate it.

  I glare at the cell phone in my hand and wish for the fortieth time in the past fifteen minutes that it would ring. I haven’t seen Josh since this morning when he came in the house to wake me up and say good morning before he was called back out again because of an emergency. Louie called, frantic, having found several calves killed in the pasture by what they think are wolves.

  I already miss him.

  Finally my phone beeps, and my heart jumps into my throat, hoping and praying that it’s a message from Josh.

  Jill: Hey! How does it feel to be home?

  Me: Fine.

  I take a sip of my tea and lean my head back against the cushion just as another text comes through.

  Josh: Being in my bed without you just feels wrong.

  I grin and set my mug aside, settling in to text him back, although I can’t help but be a little peeved that he’s texting and not calling.

  Although everything he does right now pisses me off because he didn’t ask me to stay, and even that is ridiculous because I know it’s too soon and I’m being an idiot.

  Me: I miss you too.

  Josh: I love you.

  I want to text back with Then call me! Come see me! but I just set my phone aside and lean my head back again with a deep breath.

  Yes, it’s irrational to want Josh to ask me to move in with him, and it is too soon, but I love him and I enjoy being with him.

  God, I’m needy.

  I’m dozing in my chair when the doorbell rings, startling me. Maybe Josh is surprising me?

  I hurry to the door and fling it open with a big grin on my face, then feel my shoulders fall.

  “Oh, it’s you.”

  “Gee, it’s great to see you too,” Ty mutters with a chuckle.

  “Sorry, come on in.” I stand back and let him inside before shutting and locking the door. “Have a seat.”

  “Thanks, I will.” He flashes me his cocky grin and plops down on my couch, crosses his ankles on my ottoman, and makes himself comfortable.

  He’s still in his black slacks and white button-down from work today, but his sleeves are rolled up, showing off the bright colors of his ink.

  “No suit today?” I reclaim my chair.

  “Naw, no court today.”

  I nod and take a sip of my tea.

  “Why are you here?” I ask with a raise of my brow.

  “Saw your light on.” He shrugs and leans his head back on the cushion of the couch, looking at the ceiling. “Thought I’d come by and see how you are, since it’s your first night home and all.”

  “I’m good.” I shrug and take another sip of tea. “It’s good to be home.”

  “Why do you look like someone just killed your puppy?” He turns his head on the cushion so he can look at me.

  “I’m tired. I’m helping Mrs. Baker get ready for the Huckleberry Festival this weekend.”

  “I loved her in school. Did you have her?” he asks with a grin.

  “I did. She hasn’t changed a bit.”

  “Are you serving the ice cream again this year?”

  “Yes. I’ll give you two scoops, just like every year.”

  “You’re so good to me,” he mutters with a sleepy smile. “If Josh hadn’t snatched you up, I might have tried to lure you in.”

  I frown at the mention of Josh’s name and take another sip of tea.

  “I knew that he’s why you’re unhappy,” he murmurs.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Come on, tell Uncle Ty all about it.” He smiles again as I throw my head back and laugh.

  “You are anything but my uncle, Ty.”

  “Big brother, then.” He blinks sleepily, his blue eyes tired and lined with stress, but he’s here for me, and he’s absolutely right.

  He’s the only brother I’ve ever had.

  “It’s stupid.”

  “Probably.” He links his fingers on his flat stomach. “Tell me anyway.”

  “He didn’t ask me to stay.” My voice is soft, and I just stare down at my empty mug, avoiding Ty’s stare.

  “Seriously? Did you tell him you wanted to stay?”

  “No.”

  Ty laughs and scrubs his face with his hands. “So, he didn’t ask you to stay, as in, move in with him?”

  “Yeah,” I whisper. “I know it’s too soon.”

  “Have you done the ‘I love you’ thing yet?”

  I can’t help but meet his eyes and grin.

  “I take that as a yes.” He smirks and watches me for a long minute, blinking sleepily, but not breaking eye contact. “I’m not surprised, you know.”

  “Why?” I ask, taken aback.

  “He’s always had a soft spot for you. Not to mention, you’re hot.”

  “Shut up.” I wave him off as he smirks.

  “You are, Cara. It doesn’t surprise me that he’s finally noticed.”

  “He’s a good guy,” I whisper, and close my eyes.

  “One of the best. So you didn’t tell him you wanted to stay?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Cara.” Ty pinches the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb and shakes his head ruefully.

  “Why would I say that? It’s like inviting yourself to someone’s party or something. It’s his house, he should say it first.”

  “Says the girl who has clearly never been in a relationship.”

  Ouch. “Eff off, Ty.”

  “I’m sorry, hon, but how is he supposed to know that you want to stay if you don’t tell him? Josh has many talents, but being psychic isn’t one of them.”

  “You’re psychotic,” I mutter, and glare at him, making him laugh.

  “You need to communicate if you want it to work, you know. That’s just Relationships 101.”

  “Are you a lawyer or a couples counselor?”

  “A little of both.” He smiles softly, his blue eyes full of humor.

  “I have to pee. I’ll be right back.” I jump up and head for the bathroom, needing a minute to gather my thoughts.

  Could it be that simple?

  Is that why Josh looked so torn yesterday when he watched me pack? Maybe he wanted to ask me to stay, but didn’t think I wanted to.

  Yep, I’m an idiot.

  I wash my hands and walk back to the living room, surprised to see Ty with my phone pressed to his ear.

  “Dude, seriously? Don’t be an ass. Cara’s back. Here she is.” He hands the phone to me, his face sober.

  “Hello?”

  “What the fuck is Ty doing at your house this late in the evening?” Josh’s voice is deceptively quiet.

  “He came over to say hi. My lights were on.”

  “How long has he been there?”

  “Why?”

  “I’m just asking a question, Cara.”

  “Long enough for us to get naked and have wild and crazy sex in every room of my house. Is that what you want to hear?”

  “Watch yourself, Carolina.”

  “No, you watch yourself! Who do you think you are to call me and question me about having my friends over? I’ve known Ty my whole fucking life, Josh, just like you. What exactly are you accusing me of?”

  “Cara, stop.” Ty is standing with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. “You’re not he
lping.”

  I shake my head in return and listen to silence on the other end of the line.

  “Well?” I ask Josh.

  “I’m not accusing you of anything,” he murmurs, his voice resigned and tired. “I’m sorry. I hope you sleep well, baby.” He hangs up.

  I throw my phone across the room. “What the fuck, Ty?”

  “Cara . . .”

  “Why is he acting like this? I just saw him this morning, and he has the balls to be jealous because you are over here talking with me?”

  “Cara, he’s in love with you. He’d be jealous of fucking Santa Claus right now.”

  “Bullshit.” I’m panting, my hands are in fists at my side, and I’m just fucking pissed.

  “No, it’s not bullshit. If the roles were reversed, I’d kick his ass. It was inappropriate for me to come over. It just didn’t occur to me because you’re my sister in my head, but not in his head.”

  Ty sits at the edge of the couch, his elbows on his knees, and watches me calmly as I process what he’s said.

  Well, shit.

  “I fucked up,” I whisper, and sit dejectedly in my chair.

  “It happens. He’ll get over it.”

  “He was so mad.” My voice is shaky, and I feel the tears welling in my eyes.

  “Whoa.” Ty raises his hands in surrender, his blue eyes wide. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. It’s time to call Jill.”

  He finds my phone across the room, pops the battery back in it, and as soon as it’s rebooted, he finds Jill’s number and calls her.

  “No, I’m not fucking Josh right now, thanks for asking.” He swears under his breath about what girls talk about on the phone and pushes his hand through his hair. “You need to talk to Cara. She’s crying, and tears are so not my department.”

  Ty walks back to me and kisses my forehead gently. “You’ll be fine. I’m gonna go home and call Josh. Talk it out with Jilly.”

  He hands me the phone and lets himself out of my house.

  JOSH

  I’ll fucking kill him.

  And spank the shit out of her.

  What the fuck?

  I’m never going to sleep now, so I get dressed and head out to the barn to get a head start on chores. With a wolf out there killing some of my cattle, I have more on my plate than I can handle.

  This week is going to be hell. I don’t know when I’ll see Cara again, and I need to see her, like I need to breathe.

  Apparently I need to remind her that she’s mine.

  As I walk up to the barn, I’m surprised to see my mom coming from the chicken coop, a basket looped in her arm.

  “Mom?” I hurry over to her. “Is everything okay?”

  “Of course.” She smiles at me and kisses my cheek when I bend down and offer it to her. “Couldn’t sleep, so I figured I’d come out and see if there were any fresh eggs for breakfast.”

  “Any luck?”

  “Yep. Come inside, I’ll fix you something.”

  “You should go back to bed,” I mutter, secretly longing for some bacon and eggs.

  “Nonsense, come inside and talk to me.” She smiles and leads me to the house, dressed in her usual yoga pants and oversize T-shirt.

  At sixty-eight, my mom is in great shape and is active in our community, serving on the board at the credit union and on the town council, and she still helps with fund-raisers for the school.

  I take a seat at the table as she pulls out a skillet to cook the eggs.

  I immediately begin to help, pulling the bacon from the fridge and washing my hands.

  This is what I needed.

  “So, why are you awake, Son?”

  “Just worried about the wolf killing the cattle,” I reply, and pull the bacon apart.

  “Bullshit.”

  I raise my head in surprise to find her glaring at me, her hands on her hips. Her salt-and-pepper hair is up in a bun, and her face is clean of makeup, but she’s no less forbidding.

  “What?” I ask.

  “You heard me. Is this about Cara?”

  Just the mention of her name is both a stab to the heart and causes butterflies to explode in my stomach.

  “She left.”

  “She just moved back home, Joshua.”

  “I know.” I shrug and turn away, making coffee.

  “If you want her to stay, why didn’t you ask her?”

  “Because it’s too soon to live together. Going home was right for her; I just got used to having her around.”

  “Mmm . . .” she murmurs noncommittally. “She’s a sweet girl.”

  “Yes. She is.” When the coffee has brewed, I pour both my mom and myself a cup, and she slips the bacon in the oven, sets the timer, and we sit at the kitchen table until it’s time to scramble the eggs.

  “I always liked her parents.”

  I nod and grip the mug in the palms of my hands, thinking about Cara and her kindness, her gentleness.

  Fuck, I miss her.

  “Gram would have loved her,” I whisper, and take a sip of coffee.

  Mom smiles and nods. “Absolutely.” She sits back and narrows her brown eyes at me, deep in thought. Z and I get our features from Mom.

  “Dad still in bed?” I ask, trying to change the subject.

  “You’re in love with her,” Mom responds instead, and I know she won’t let me off the hook.

  “Yeah, I’m in love with her. It’s got me all messed up.” I sigh and push my hands into my hair.

  “Love will do that.” She smiles softly. “I’m so happy for you, my sweet boy.”

  “Well, don’t get too happy. I pissed her off last night.”

  “Love will do that too.” She laughs and takes a sip of her coffee. “Are you thinking marriage?”

  Marriage?

  I swallow hard and scowl down into my mug. “It’s entirely too soon to go down that road,” I mutter softly.

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” She shakes her head adamantly and rises from the table to refill our coffees. “Your dad and I got married after dating for four weeks and we’ll be celebrating forty years next month.”

  “But you knew each other all your lives.”

  She turns to me with a raised eyebrow and a small, knowing smile on her lips.

  Point taken.

  “Yes, I’m going to marry her.” I sigh and close my eyes as calm settles over me. “If she’ll have me.”

  “She’d be stupid to pass you up. You’re brilliant and funny, not to mention the handsomest man I’ve ever seen.”

  “Zack will be happy to hear that,” I reply with a grin.

  “He looks just like you, so it works for me.” She chuckles and then gets that gleam in her eye that says she has a great idea. “I’ll be right back.”

  She leaves the kitchen just as the timer for the bacon dings, so I take it out and put it on paper towels to drain. Just as I set the pan aside, she’s back with a small black box.

  “If you’d like, give this to her when you propose.” She hands me the box and I open it to find Gram’s diamond-and-sapphire engagement ring nestled inside.

  “Mom, I can’t take this.”

  “It’s an heirloom, of course you can.”

  “Why didn’t you give it to Zack?” I ask, and take it from her.

  “Because your grandmother might have had a problem with that, given that it was still on her finger when he married that woman. Besides,” she sniffs, and crosses her arms over her chest, “that little bitch was never going to get any of my jewelry.”

  “Good girl.” I smile and kiss her on the forehead. “Thanks, Mom.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  CARA

  “Who’s that?” Seth asks, and points out the window to the men and one woman standing in the back pasture. Josh is with them, and it’s like drinking water after being in the desert for months. I haven’t spoken to him since our angry phone call on Wednesday night.

  I know he’s irritated about Ty being at my house, but is he punishing me for it? Becau
se it sure feels like it.

  “Have you seen them before?” I ask.

  Seth twists his mouth in thought. “Yeah, they’ve been around off and on all week.”

  “I bet they’re the Fish and Wildlife people,” I mutter, watching Josh wipe his forehead on the sleeve of his white T-shirt. His biceps flex with the motion, and my stomach clenches as I remember how it feels to have those arms tighten around me.

  God, he’s gorgeous.

  “Are we done?” Seth asks, interrupting my thoughts.

  “Yeah, I’ll see you Monday. You get tomorrow off since I’ll be at the festival all day.”

  “Yes!” He pumps his fist and grins.

  “I’ll miss you too,” I mutter sarcastically, and he grins wider.

  “I’ll miss you, but I won’t miss those worksheets.”

  He waves as he leaves the house, and I’m disappointed to see that Josh and the others are gone when I look back outside.

  I miss him so much.

  I gather my things and head for my car, surprised to find Josh standing in his driveway with the others.

  “Hey.”

  “Cara.” Josh’s head snaps around, his brown eyes wide, taking me in from head to toe as if he has missed me too.

  Thank God.

  He quickly walks to me and pulls me in for a long hug. I blink, keeping tears at bay, relieved that he’s holding me.

  “We need to talk,” he whispers in my ear.

  “I know.”

  “I don’t have time now.” He backs away and brushes the backs of his fingers down my cheek and offers me a small smile, his dimple winking at me.

  “Is everything okay?”

  He sighs and shakes his head. “No. These guys”—he gestures and leads me over to where they’re standing—“are from the Fish and Wildlife department. The one wolf I thought I had killing my cattle is actually a pack of about eight.”

  I gasp in surprise and take in everyone’s grim faces. “Eight?”

  “Yeah,” Josh confirms as the others nod.

  “We’re tracking them, but they’re sneaky bastards. We didn’t meet the last time I was here. I’m Erica.” She shakes my hand and smiles kindly.

  “What will you do to them?” I ask.