The Forever Dream

  "You're feeling worse?" she asked anxiously. "I knew you shouldn't have gotten out of bed so soon."

  "I'm feeling stronger every moment," he lied. He was still damned weak, but there was no use worrying her, when she had tomorrow to face. "I just want to cuddle you." His lips brushed the tip of her ear. "You're an eminently cuddly woman, little Piper."

  Jared insisted on coming downstairs to dinner despite her protests, and she was given an example of Betz's weird maternal protectiveness when they reached the bottom of the staircase.

  Betz came padding forward, an anxious frown on his face, his brown eyes narrowed on Jared's pale face. "You

  shouldn't have come down, Dr. Ryker. Dr. Jeffers said you should take it easy for a few days, and you've already taken that long walk to the grove. I really think you should let us serve you something in bed and make it an early night."

  The grove. So surveillance hadn't been as careless as it appeared, Tania thought. And now that she thought about it, Betz had been hovering in the halls whenever she'd left Jared's room during the past two days. Not obtrusively, nor vigilantly, just there.

  "Do you, Betz? But then, we've already discussed your failings in that department. I have no intention of returning to my room." His gray gaze sharpened. "Unless you'd care to try to enforce Dr. Jeffers's instructions?"

  Betz's frown deepened. "I told you, I only use force when it's absolutely necessary," he said slowly. "I thought you understood that." He sighed morosely. "You're going to be a very difficult charge, Dr. Ryker." He turned and walked away.

  "Charge." Jared's lips curled disgustedly. "He makes me sound like a schoolboy under a tutor's care. I think I preferred the old polite menace to this."

  "He's right, though," Tania said as she slipped her arm through his and drew him toward the library. "I hate to agree with Betz about anything, but you're definitely overdoing it on your first day up." She lowered her voice. "Particularly considering what you're planning for tomorrow. You should be mustering your strength, not expending it."

  "You wouldn't care for a karate match, by any chance?" Kevin asked cheerfully as he rose from the padded executive chair behind the desk and came toward them, a warm smile lighting his face. "I think I just might beat you." He slowly shook his head. "You look like a sick cat, Jared. You should have stayed in bed."

  "Thank you. That seems to be the consensus around here. It's enough to make a man feel unwelcome. Not that I didn't before. Cyanide in the brandy has a tendency to quash thoughts of winning popularity contests."

  "I can see how it would," Kevin said, his expression somber. "I didn't have a chance to do more than pop in occasionally to see how you were doing, but I think you know how sorry I am that such a thing happened, Jared. Corbett took the bottle back to Washington to have it dusted for fingerprints, but it was clean. He's doing an independent security check on all Betz's men to see if he can come up with an association with any groups that might be hostile."

  "It's very comforting to know that," Jared said ironically. "But Corbett always did have my interests at heart." He looked steadily into the other man's eyes. "Didn't he, Kevin?"

  "What do you want me to say?" Kevin asked with a shrug. "I think you realize that I suspected the senator's motives weren't the purest from the beginning. I've gotten to know him moderately well over the years. I hope you'll believe that I wasn't absolutely certain until quite recently." He turned to Tania. "You know me well enough to realize I'm not that good an actor, princess."

  "And now that you do know, what do you intend to do about it?" she asked quietly. "We can use all the help we can get, Kevin."

  "I wish I knew," he said, frowning. "I told you I disliked being a catalyst, and the situation is shaping up just that way. I have to admit to mixed feelings."

  "Mixed feelings!" Tania exclaimed. "When you know what Corbett is planning on doing?"

  "I'm able to do a great deal of good in the position I'm in now as the senator’s aide, Tania," he said earnestly. "Corbett may be corrupt, but with his power he can move a mountain of red tape. He enjoys having a philanthropic image, and I can use that."

  "I can't believe it," Tania said slowly. "You're telling me that you'd sanction Corbett's actions against Jared and his misuse of his work in the name of the 'greater good?"

  "I think you know I don't altogether agree with Jared's view on the long-range value of the formula," Kevin said. "So it shouldn't surprise you that it's going to come down to a choice." His face clouded. "One I'm going to have to make in very short order. I received a call from the senator just before you came in."

  "So?" Jared's eyes narrowed warily.

  "He's sending the helicopter for you two tomorrow morning. He wants both of you brought to Washington right away."

  "Why the change of plan?" Jared asked. "He seemed to relish keeping us on tenterhooks, waiting for his visit."

  Tania could feel her throat tighten with fear. How could Jared be so cool, when this might be the end of any hope of escaping? Suddenly she realized how weak and ineffectual that thought was. She'd never been afraid of facing a challenge before, no matter how dangerous. It was only now, when Jared shared the danger, that she was experiencing this sick anxiety. She unconsciously squared her shoulders and lifted her chin defiantly. Jared's strength could only enforce, not weaken, her.

  Kevin shrugged. "Who knows why the senator does anything? All I know is that the helicopter will be landing sometime after midnight and you're both to be brought to the landing pad for takeoff at seven tomorrow. Two of Betz's men will accompany you."

  "Then you have a decision to make." Tania's eyes met his soberly. "And I hope for all our sakes that it's the right one."

  "So do I, princess," Kevin said, his face grim. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll skip dinner tonight and go for a walk instead." He smiled ruefully at Jared. "If it helps you to think, maybe it will do the same for me." He turned, but glanced back over his shoulder to say, "I think you should know that Betz will almost certainly double the guards tonight." He walked swiftly out of the library.

  "Do you think he'll help us?" Tania asked, frowning.

  "Who knows?" Jared asked as he propelled her gently out of the library and across the foyer toward the dining room. "I'd have felt a little more confident if he'd decided to have dinner with us, though."

  "Why is that?"

  "Kevin has a curious sense of values that's almost medieval," Jared answered. "I don't think he'd feel comfortable eating at the table of an enemy."

  "But we're not his enemies," she protested.

  "That remains to be seen," he said dryly. "We'll know at seven tomorrow morning, at any rate."

  "We're not going to try to escape tonight, then?"

  "You heard him, security is sure to be tightened. We'll have to take our chances in the helicopter tomorrow. "

  "With two of Betz's men in attendance?" she asked uncertainly. "That will make our chances of succeeding pretty slim."

  He smiled reassuringly. "We'll have to play it by ear, but then, we've both done that before." He planted a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm not worried."

  "Why not? I certainly am."

  "But then, you've only got me to protect you," he said lightly, "while I've got the Piper in my corner."

  During dinner Jared remained insouciant and refused to discuss any but the most trivial of subjects. Even when they returned to the master suite, he maintained that maddeningly carefree facade, which grated on her nerves like sandpaper.

  Irritated, she followed him into the room and slammed the door decisively behind them. Marching over to where Jared was standing in the middle of the room, she planted her hands on her hips belligerently. "Are you quite through playing Pollyanna now?" she asked tartly. "You've been so soothing and nauseatingly cheerful, I may have a problem keeping down my dinner."

  The surprise on Jared's face was quickly superseded by amusement. "Sorry," he said calmly. "I believe it's traditionally called keeping a stiff upper lip
. I didn't see any need to be unnecessarily pessimistic."

  "You mean you were treating me as patronizingly as a grown-up giving sugar-coated medicine to a sick child," she said. "Don't you think I know how poor our chances are going to be tomorrow if Kevin refuses to help us? I'm not a complete fool, you know."

  No, she was brave and beautiful and so damn lovable that he could feel his chest tighten achingly. She looked so small and fragile standing there with her head thrown back and her eyes blazing up at him. He wanted to protect her from the whole damn world. He would have liked to lock her up somewhere where nothing could touch or hurt her again. Instead he could only offer her danger and a chance of survival that was probably even slimmer than she imagined.

  "No, I don't think you're a fool. I think you're as wise as a seer and as sweet as honey. I suppose I was just trying to keep your mind off tomorrow." Suddenly there was a flicker of mischief in his eyes. "I should have known the only way to distract a little fireball of energy like you was to keep you busy." He tilted his head consideringly. "Yes, I believe that's the only solution."

  "What are you talking about?" she asked in exasperation.

  "I have to keep you occupied," he told her, his lips twitching. "I'm prepared to make the supreme sacrifice." His voice softened to a seductive murmur. "But you have to remember I'm not entirely recovered and I may need a little help."

  "Help?"

  "Undress me, pixie."

  She gazed at him with annoyance that faded as swiftly as it had come. She'd thought for a moment that this was the ploy with which he'd teased her, that he was still offering her that patronizing comfort. But there was none of that in Jared's face as he looked down at her. There was only tenderness and humor and something else that made her catch her breath and take a step closer. Something wild and sad, yet so loving that flooded into every corner of her being.

  "You want me?" she asked.

  "I'll always want you." His gaze was holding hers with a look that was almost a joyous benediction. "I'll want your laughter, your strength, and your zest that turns every moment into an adventure. I'll want your courage and thirst for knowledge that will make you even more tomorrow than you are today." He drew a deep, ragged breath. "Yes, I want you, my love."

  Her lips parted in surprise, and she experienced a sweet, heady joy that was like no other she'd ever known. She'd expected desire and had received something infinitely more precious. She tried to laugh, but it came out husky and uncertain. "That wasn't what I meant."

  "I know." He took a step nearer, and his fingers were deftly unfastening the cloth-covered buttons of her tailored silk blouse. "But the other goes without saying.

  There isn't a moment I'm with you that I don't want to ravish your beautiful body." He pushed the edges of the material aside and slipped his arms around her waist, his thumbs rubbing sensuously at the hollow of her spine. "You should know that by now." He pulled her closer to bury his face in the fine silky hair at her temple. Her bare breasts brushed against the rough wool of his crew-necked sweater, and she felt a mist of heat start to envelop her. "So don't react as if this is a love snatched from beneath the shadow of the sword or some such nonsense."

  She went still. "Love? You were talking about wanting."

  "Love," he said quietly. "I'm tired of using all the pat, safe euphemisms we've been hiding behind." He lifted his head and looked down at her. "It's time we took another step forward, Tania. I'll go first, if you like. I love you, and I believe I always will." His expression was grave. "I don't know if marriage as we know it will exist in the future, but I think there will always be a ritual of commitment in which two people who love each other can state their love. I want that with you, Tania Orlinov." He kissed her gently on the lips, and it was as sweetly solemn as the ritual of love he'd been speaking about. "Will you belong to me until beyond childhood's end, as I will belong to you, little Piper?"

  She nodded, her dark eyes shining with tears. She felt as if her heart were swelling with such emotion that it was in danger of exploding. Oh, Lord, how beautiful and moving were those simple words. "I want to belong to you," she said, burrowing her head in his chest as her arms went around him and she hugged him fiercely. She wanted to be so close to him that she was actually a part of him. "Until beyond childhoods end."

  She heard his chuckle reverberate beneath her ear. Trust you never to do things in the accustomed order, sweetheart. Now that we've made the commitment, will you please tell me you love me?"

  She opened her lips to give him what he wanted and suddenly felt her throat close with panic. Of course she loved him. She'd known that for some time. It filled her whole world and colored everything in it with rainbows. Why couldn't she say the words?

  He must have felt her stiffen. "Tania?" He pushed her away a little to look down at her searchingly, effortlessly reading the panic and tension in her expression. There was a flicker of disappointment in his face that was gone the next instant. "Not yet?" he asked softly. "Don't worry about it, love. I know what you're feeling. It was a little hard for me too."

  But far harder for her to take that final important step toward total commitment, he thought pityingly. Considering her background, it was a miracle she'd been able to come to love him at all. She'd given him so much that he had no right to push her into a corner just to obtain a verbal acknowledgment he didn't really need.

  "Jared, you know ..." Her dark eyes were enormous in her troubled face.

  "Shhh." He put his finger over her lips. "Easy. Don't force it. It will come when the time is right. I don't feel cheated." His fingers moved caressingly over the fullness of her lower lip. "I have everything I want. More than I ever expected to have."

  Oh, God, she did love him. How could she help but love him, when he seemed to know her every thought and feeling and treated each one with the most exquisite I delicacy? Suddenly the intense emotion she was experiencing seemed too much to bear, and she had to lighten it or see it splinter.

  Her teeth suddenly closed on his fingers and nipped them teasingly. "I don't think you have quite everything you want," she said, her eyes sparkling impishly. "Not at

  the moment, anyway. What did you say about wanting me to undress you?"

  His smile lit the somberness of his face. "I've changed my mind," he said, his hands moving to push the silk blouse from her shoulders. "I think to celebrate our new commitment, it should definitely be a mutual effort. Besides, it will be much faster if we each contribute our bit."

  It was faster, and in minutes they were slipping into the king-sized bed and into each other's arms. He was so deliciously hard and firm, she thought, running her hands over the supple, whipcord muscles of his shoulders. She should have been familiar with the lovely feel of him now, but every time they were like this, flesh to flesh, it was as fresh and new as if she'd never touched him before.

  "You're so strong," she murmured, her lips moving over the pulse point just below his chin. "I love to feel that surge of power beneath the sleekness." She shook her head wryly. "Some convalescent."

  "It's always nice to be appreciated," he answered as he suddenly rolled her over on top of him. "But I fully intend to exercise my sick-bed privileges and let you do the work tonight, love." He lifted her to a sitting position, so that she was astride him, and grinned up into her surprised face. "I'm waiting for the music to begin, little Piper."

  "Are you indeed?" she asked silkily, gazing at him from beneath her lashes. After the first moment of surprise, she found she very much liked the feeling of being in control of their lovemaking tonight. The edginess of apprehension at what lay before them tomorrow had sharpened her emotions to fever pitch. It helped soothe away her feeling of frustration and helplessness to have command of something involving the two of them, Did Jared know that about her as well? It was more than

  likely, when he seemed to know every other nuance of her personality. Once again he was giving her what he thought she needed. He was always giving to her, she realized with a s
udden pang of tenderness.

  "I'll play your music, Jared." Her eyes were glowing softly in a face illuminated with the love she found so difficult to express in words. "I'll weave you a melody that will call you down from your mountain and bring you home to me."

  The melody began as a faint overture of haunting chords as she slowly bent her head to kiss his lips with lingering sweetness. Then she began to build on the basic theme with hands and tongue in a slow teasing arousal that caused Jared's chest to labor harshly with the force of his breathing. She could see the look of glazed pleasure on his face as her hands plucked delicately at his tiny nipples. He still made no move, but merely accepted, though she could see his fists clench involuntarily with the effort to keep from reaching out for her.

  She adjusted herself and slowly, carefully s rounded him with her warmth, until she felt that every cell of her body was full of the glorious abundance that was Jared. Her breasts were heaving and she could feel that brand inside her burning and melting everything in its path. She gazed down at him and smiled lovingly. "If I remember correctly, at this point a pas de deux is artistically required," she whispered. "Do you know the steps, Jared?"

  "God, yes!" He groaned as his hands flew to her hips. "I was only waiting for an invitation." His hips lunged powerfully upward while his hands pressed her down to him. She gasped and clutched desperately at his shoulders as she took more of him than she would have believed possible. Then she was lost in a fiery rhythm of thrusts and withdrawals that indeed was like the intricate moves of the most passionate of dances. But it was more exciting than any dance she'd ever known, she thought hazily, more intense, more meaningful, more… Then she couldn't think anymore as they took the grand jete that was like an exultant leap for the stars.

  Her heart was still pounding with a jerky cadence that matched Jared's when he carefully rolled her over so they lay facing each other, his hands cupping her buttocks so that she remained locked in their enchanted union. She felt his chest heaving against her own and the dew of perspiration on the shoulders where her cheek was resting. Her lips brushed his flesh with a kiss that was redolent of tenderness and gratitude. It was strange to be able to feel gratitude untainted by resentment or wariness, she thought dreamily. Another gift.