Coming Apart

  “Flora?” she called as she opened the front door. She fingered the bills in her pocket as she ran up the stairs.

  She stopped when she reached her bedroom.

  The vacuum cleaner was in the middle of the floor and Flora was kneeling next to it, sifting through the contents of the bag, which she had dumped onto a sheet of newspaper. She looked as if she might have been crying.

  “What’s going on?” asked Ruby. She tried to ignore her rumbling stomach.

  “I —” Flora started to say, and Ruby noticed that her sister’s hands were shaking. “I guess I broke something of yours,” said Flora miserably.

  “You guess?” Ruby’s eyes drifted to her china animals, but she didn’t notice that any were missing. “What do you mean, you guess?”

  Flora sat down with a thump. “I was vacuuming in here. That’s my job this weekend — vacuuming the bedrooms — and I was right over there by your bureau, and suddenly I heard something go up the hose. Something like, well, china. It clinked. Only I swear I hadn’t knocked anything off your bureau. I swear.”

  Ruby looked once again at the rows of animals, all of which seemed to be accounted for, and a horrible idea began to take shape in her head. She cast her mind back to the day when she’d brought the crystal owl into her room, and she envisioned its tragic fall to the floor, saw herself with the broom and the dustpan, frantically sweeping up the shards. She must have missed a piece of glass in her haste. And now Flora had slurped it up with the vacuum.

  “I’ve been going through the stuff in the vacuum cleaner bag,” said Flora, getting to her knees again, “and I did find that piece of glass.” She pointed to a slender chunk, as pointy and as sharp as a dagger, which she’d set apart from the pile of dust and lint in the middle of the newspaper. “It’s the only thing that could have clinked. But what’s it from? Did I break something of yours? If I did, I’ll pay you for it. I’m really sorry,” she said.

  Ruby let out her breath. Okay, now what? The easiest thing, she said to herself, was to lie. Just tell her sister that she didn’t know what that piece of glass could be from and that nothing in her room seemed to have been broken. Or … she could let Flora think she actually had broken something of Ruby’s (but what?) and pay her for it. Ruby could then put the money toward the owl.

  But when the new, improved Ruby Northrop opened her mouth, she was very surprised at what came out of it.

  “You didn’t break anything,” she said. “I did.”

  “What?”

  “I broke something of Min’s.”

  Flora’s eyes narrowed. “You broke something of Min’s? Here in your room?”

  “Yeah.” Ruby drew herself up as straight as possible. “And I’m going to tell you the truth about what happened.” She felt that honesty should be part of the self-improvement plan.

  “Well … good,” said Flora uncertainly.

  “I was looking through Min’s drawers,” Ruby began.

  “You were what?”

  “Looking through her drawers. You know, just to see if she had anything interesting —”

  “Ruby! You can’t do that! It’s an invasion of privacy!”

  “Well, I did do it, and anyway, tell me you’ve never snooped. That’s all it was. Snooping.”

  “Giving it a cute name like snooping doesn’t make it any better,” said Flora.

  “Well, all right, so I found this box of stuff that had belonged to Mom and one of the things in the box was an owl and I just wanted to introduce it to my animals,” said Ruby desperately, seeing the look on her sister’s face. “So I brought it in here and I dropped it and it broke and I decided to improve myself and I found another owl at the new jewelry store and I’m saving enough money to buy it and when I do I’ll put it back in the box and Min will never know the first one got broken.” She attempted a smile. “And they all lived happily ever after!”

  Flora was gaping at Ruby. “What you did is wrong for so many reasons,” she said finally. “Snooping, lying —”

  “I haven’t told any lies!” Not yet, anyway, Ruby thought.

  “Yes, you have. By not telling the truth. That’s like a sin of omission.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I’m talking about telling Min what you did.”

  “No way!”

  “Ruby, you absolutely cannot let Min think that the new owl — if you even manage to get away with all this — was Mom’s. The real value of the one you broke wasn’t how much it cost. It was the fact that it belonged to Mom. You can’t fool Min like this. It is completely unfair.”

  “If I tell her what happened, it will upset her. Is it fair to upset her?”

  “None of this is fair. The owl must mean a lot to Min or she wouldn’t have kept it. And now it’s broken, and buying her a new one is not going to make things right.”

  “But if she never knows what I did — Flora, I’m very close to getting away with this.”

  “Listen to yourself! You just said ‘getting away’! You know what you’re doing is wrong!”

  “It’s none of your business, so stay out of it.”

  Flora glared at her sister. “All right. For now. I’ll stay out of it for now. But this isn’t over, Ruby.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “No, it absolutely is not.”

  Flora finished cleaning up the mess in Ruby’s room and left without saying another word.

  “Olivia?”

  Olivia, who had been attempting to jerk open her temperamental locker door, jumped at the sound of the voice that had spoken directly into her ear. She dropped a stack of books and a pair of sneakers as kids streamed around her, eager to begin their afternoon activities.

  “Jacob!” she said, gasping. “You startled me!” What she wanted to say was, “What were your lips doing so close to my earlobe?”

  “Sorry. I’m sorry,” replied Jacob, who did indeed look sorry. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He helped her gather her things. “Where do you want them?”

  “I was about to sort them out. Half of the books stay here, the others come home with me.” Olivia jammed the sneakers onto a shelf.

  Jacob stood woodenly by the locker while Olivia then selected four books and placed them in her backpack.

  “Olivia?” he said again.

  “Yeah?”

  “What’s wrong?”

  Olivia turned to him. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I know something is wrong. I think it has to do with us, but I’m not sure. Whatever it is, we need to talk about it.”

  Olivia sighed, feeling unbearably guilty. On the day of the snowstorm, which now seemed rather distant, she had promised her mother she would talk to Jacob that week. And she’d meant to talk to him. She really had. Instead, they’d spoken less and less, and seen each other less and less outside of school. Olivia had thought about the conversation, and what she would say to Jacob, and how he might respond, and the more she’d thought, the more uncertain she’d become. About everything. Well, about everything except the fact that she knew she didn’t want to be Jacob’s girlfriend.

  What on earth should she say to him now? How could she tell him any of her thoughts without hurting his feelings? She could barely explain her feelings to herself. Furthermore, and this was something Olivia knew she could mention to no one — not her mother, not Flora, not Nikki, and certainly not Jacob — one small, conceited piece of her wasn’t ready to give up her enviable status as Jacob’s girlfriend. The image of Tanya or Melody swooping down on an Olivia-free Jacob was absolutely horrifying. What would she do if one of them became Jacob’s next girlfriend?

  And yet, here stood Jacob, waiting for Olivia to answer him. She knew it was time to talk.

  Olivia set her backpack on the floor and straightened up. “You’re right. We do need to talk.”

  “Oh, boy,” said Jacob.

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “So what’s going on?”

  Olivia almo
st laughed. “Jacob, we can’t talk here!” Jacob stared at her. “I mean, let’s go —” Where could they talk? Certainly not at Olivia’s house, where her brothers would undoubtedly engage in some creative eavesdropping. Definitely not here in school. “Want to go get a slice of pizza?” Olivia asked at last.

  “Sure.” Jacob had the look of someone who was on his way to a torture chamber.

  Olivia and Jacob walked along Main Street, Olivia waving at shopkeepers and at Jackie and Donna in the post office, and then stopping in Sincerely Yours to tell her father where she and Jacob were going to be for the next hour. At College Pizza they slid into the booth against the back wall. And stared at each other.

  “So?” said Jacob. He transferred his gaze to the slice of pizza in front of him, cheese drooping off the edges of the paper plate. His hands remained folded in his lap.

  “Well, okay.” Olivia had absolutely no idea where to start and finally decided that maybe she was thinking about things too much. “Okay,” she said again. “The thing is …”

  “The thing is, you’re breaking up with me, right?”

  Olivia’s eyes jumped to Jacob’s, startled. “Um, yes. But,” she continued hastily, “not because I don’t like you.”

  “You’re breaking up with me because you like me?”

  Olivia could see a smile on his lips, and she smiled back. “You know what I mean. Yes, I like you. I really like you. You’re one of my best friends. But being your girlfriend … doesn’t feel right.”

  “I had a feeling that’s what was wrong.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you. Especially since I do like you so much. That makes it harder. I don’t want to hurt your feelings and I hope we can always be friends.”

  “But just friends.” Jacob took a sip of his soda. Olivia attempted a bite of pizza. “Why?” asked Jacob after a few moments.

  “Why what?”

  “Why does being my girlfriend feel wrong?”

  Olivia shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s not so much that it feels wrong as that it doesn’t feel right.”

  “That doesn’t help.”

  “This is the part I don’t understand myself. It’s like when two people have the opposite reaction to the same thing. How do you explain it? They both see the same story on the news and one person says, ‘Oh, how interesting!’ and the other person says, ‘That’s horrible! How could something like that happen?’ You know?”

  “I guess.”

  “Jacob, I don’t know if now is the right time to ask this question, but do you think we can stay friends? It’s so —” Olivia tried to control her voice, which she realized was wobbling dangerously, “so important to me. If you weren’t my friend, I don’t know what I’d do.” She fumbled for her napkin and dabbed at her eyes. Any moment now, her nose would start to run.

  “Of course I want to be your friend,” Jacob replied. “I guess I was just hoping I could be more than your friend, too. But if I have to settle for just friends, well … I can’t imagine not being your friend.”

  Olivia managed a smile. “That’s how I feel. At least we agree on that. So, we can still do our homework together? And sit together at book club meetings?”

  “And eat lunch together?” asked Jacob.

  “Yes. But maybe every now and then Flora and Nikki and I will sit by ourselves. We haven’t seen much of each other lately.”

  Jacob nodded. He glanced down at his half-eaten slice of pizza and then across the table at Olivia’s nearly untouched slice. Olivia thought he was going to ask if he could have her piece. Instead he said, “Do you want to go?”

  It took Olivia a moment to realize that Jacob, whom Nikki thought of as a human Dustbuster, had lost his appetite and was willing to leave behind a good quantity of uneaten food.

  “Yeah.” Olivia slid out of the booth and struggled into her parka and scarf and hat and gloves while Jacob, who was wearing only a jacket, watched her. The prospect of walking home alone and worrying about how long it would take for Melody or Tanya to get wind of what had happened left Olivia feeling helpless. So she was pleased when Jacob said, “Want to go for a walk?”

  “Sure!”

  Weighed down by their backpacks and their thoughts, Olivia and Jacob walked slowly along Main Street.

  “This is nice,” said Jacob eventually.

  “What is?”

  “This. Just walking along together.”

  “We can still do it. Whenever we want.”

  “Yup.”

  Olivia felt something loosen in her chest. “Want me to call you tonight?”

  “About Mr. Barnes’s assignment? Definitely.”

  Olivia flashed him a genuine smile as she turned and left for Aiken Avenue.

  “Flora?”

  “Hi, Olivia.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “Right now? My homework. Why?”

  “I just wondered.” Olivia lay on her bed, her feet propped on the wall, her head hanging over the side. She was halfway through her own homework and in ten minutes would call Jacob. Before that, she wanted to talk to Flora. “Are you in the middle of something? Can you take a break?”

  “I can talk. What’s the matter?”

  “Well … I broke up with Jacob this afternoon.”

  Olivia wasn’t sure what kind of reaction she had expected from Flora — maybe a shriek or a gasp or an exclamation of “Oh, that’s awful! Are you all right?” Instead, after a little pause, Flora said, “I kind of thought that might happen. I mean, not necessarily today, but soon.”

  “You’re kidding! You did?”

  “Yeah. I knew you weren’t happy and I figured it had something to do with Jacob. I’m really sorry, Olivia. But I guess this is what you want, right?”

  “I think so. Flora? Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

  “About Jacob? I don’t know. We haven’t seen each other much lately, and anyway, I didn’t want to seem nosy. I figured you’d let me know if you wanted to talk.”

  “I wasn’t purposely not talking to you. It’s just that everything was so mixed up, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t talk to anyone about it. Well, except Mom, but that was because she forced me.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “One of the reasons — one of the many reasons — we broke up was because I felt like I didn’t get to spend enough time with you and Nikki anymore.”

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “I missed you, Olivia!”

  “I missed you, too.”

  “So you feel better about everything?”

  “Definitely. Well, except for one thing.”

  “Which is?”

  “That I won’t know what to do if Jacob decides to go out with Tanya or Melody now.”

  “With Tanya or Melody?! Are you out of your mind?”

  “I —”

  “Olivia, do you really think Jacob wants to spend time with either one of them? He can’t stand them.”

  “Oh. Yeah. You’re right.”

  “You should have talked to me sooner.”

  Olivia laughed.

  And when she went to bed that night, she felt very grateful for her friends. For Flora, for Nikki, for Ruby and Willow. And for Jacob.

  “He’s here,” Nikki whispered to Tobias.

  Her brother got up from his chair in the living room and peered through the front window. Driving slowly along the lane to the Shermans’ house was a truck with a U-Haul van attached to it. “All right,” said Tobias under his breath.

  In an hour or so, thought Nikki, her father would be gone, traveling back to South Carolina with his boxes and his clothes, the pieces of his life that had cluttered Nikki’s house for months and made her feel attached to a presence that she wanted gone.

  “Is it Daddy?” asked Mae, who was sitting before the dollhouse. She jumped to her feet.

  Nikki knew her sister was wondering if perhaps one more gift would be forthcoming — not because Mae was greedy, b
ut because Mr. Sherman’s last few visits had become, one by one, quieter and shorter and angrier, and Mae’s enthusiasm about her father had turned to uncertainty.

  “Yes. He’s here,” Nikki said. “And you know what’s going to happen today, don’t you, Mae?” Behind her, Nikki heard her mother open the front door.

  “It’s time for Daddy to leave?”

  “Yes. And he’s going to take his things with him, all the things he’s been packing up. We probably won’t see him for a long time. Remember, Mommy talked to you about that.”

  “I know.” Mae frowned. She looked at her mother posed hesitantly at the partly open front door and at Tobias standing behind her with his arms folded severely and then at Nikki, who was gripping Mae’s hand a bit too tightly. “Why is everyone so mad?” she asked. She pulled her hand away, adding, “Ow, you’re hurting me.”

  “Sorry,” said Nikki, and at that moment Mr. Sherman stepped into the house.

  After a brief silence, Mae said in a small voice, “Hi, Daddy.”

  Mr. Sherman glanced at the overstuffed boxes and garbage bags piled by the door. “I see you got everything ready for me.”

  “Nothing to do but load up the van,” said Tobias. “Just trying to be helpful. We thought you’d like to get on your way early.”

  Mr. Sherman snorted. “Very thoughtful.”

  Nikki felt a pain take hold in her stomach. The arrangements had been finalized, hadn’t they? Divorce, custody, everything was in place and couldn’t be changed, could it? She put her hand over the blossoming pain. She knew she would feel better if she could be sure that when the van turned onto the county road she would never have to see her father again, unless it was her decision. But now was not the time to ask her mother about this.

  Tobias hefted a box and started outside.

  “Not wasting a minute, are you?” asked Mr. Sherman.

  Tobias ignored him.

  “Do you want to come inside and see the dollhouse?” Mae asked her father. “I made little teeny tiny books for the family to read.”

  “That’s great, Mae. But I think your mother and brother are pretty eager to see the back end of me.”