My Favorite Mistake

  “No, I deserved it. I’m not very nice, Taylor.” He almost never called me by my real name. I found I didn’t like it much.

  “I know. But that doesn’t give you license to be a jerk.”

  “I am what I am. If you don’t like it, there’s a simple way out of it. You have three options. Hate me, love me, do me. Pick your poison.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “That’s one of the options.”

  “I am never giving you a ride again.”

  “That’s fine. Now I know where you keep your keys. Sassy and I would have a good time,” he said, patting the dashboard.

  “I swear to God, Hunter, if you steal this car, I will stab you in your sleep.”

  “Fine. Go ahead.”

  What was wrong with him? I turned on an old Avril Lavigne CD just to piss him off. He stared out the window and tapped his leg.

  One, two, three, four, five. I wanted to break each one of his five fingers so he couldn’t tap them anymore.

  I didn’t speak to him again until we were back on campus. Hunter carried his guitar, and I carried a plastic container with leftovers from Hope that she had forced on me as I walked out the door. How could I say no?

  I immediately went to our room and shut the door.

  *****

  I stayed in there for several hours, munching on the leftovers from the Masons and reading. I thought about calling Tawny, but I didn’t really want to know what she’d have to say about this situation. I didn’t want advice, which would be what she would give me, however unsolicited it might be.

  I was deep in the throes of Gone With The Wind when I heard voices in the living room. Must be Dev and Sean. There was a soft knock on the door. Hunter never knocked on our door.

  “Hey, we’re going to Blue. You want to come? I’ll buy you a drink.”

  I shook my head, not looking up from my book.

  “Come on, Missy.”

  “You’ve been saying that a lot to me lately.”

  “Thank God, she speaks.”

  “Bite me.”

  “You’re insulting me. Must mean you’re back to normal. Come out with us. It’ll be fun. You can dance and tease me again.”

  “Will you let me smash a beer bottle over your head? Because I’d totally sign up for that.”

  “Let’s get you out and see how things go. I might let you get a punch in, depending on how drunk I get.”

  I’d never seen Hunter drunk. He had a few beers, but I’d never seen him out of control like most people got. Since I was small, alcohol affected me like a hammer. I just needed one or two drinks and I was in happy land. I’d never really seen the appeal of getting drunk. Until tonight.

  “I’m in,” I said, swinging my legs over my bed and hopping down. I’d cleaned up the clothing disaster from this morning, but finding the right shirt was going to take another trip through the mire.

  Hunter stared at the closet. He knew where my mind had gone.

  “Wear that pink one on the left.” He pointed, and I saw a scrap of pink. It was a shirt I had, but never wore. It just wasn’t really me. Tawny had given it to me a few years ago, and I couldn’t part with it because I didn’t want to make her mad. It had a little fabric flower on the neck and was kind of drapey.

  “And those dark black skinny pants.”

  “Who are you, my fashion consultant?”

  “If it’ll get you ready faster, sure. I’ll be your fashion consultant.”

  I grabbed the shirt and held it up. Actually, it didn’t look that bad.

  “We’re ready when you are,” he said before he left me to change. It was going to be interesting to go out with just me and three boys. If I was a guy, I’d be a pimp. There really wasn’t a good equivalent for a girl.

  I decided to leave my hair down. It was looking better than it had this morning, which was unusual, so I decided to embrace it.

  “Fuckable?” I said when I came around the corner into the living room.

  “Definitely,” Hunter said. I enjoyed the semi-stunned look on his face. God, he saw me every day, but still, when I put on something nice he couldn’t speak. I enjoyed it very much. You didn’t do that with someone you didn’t like.

  The other boys smiled politely. I hadn’t seen much of them lately.

  “Okay, let’s go, boys. Who wants to carry my purse, and who wants to be my drink bitch for the night?”

  They all looked at each other.

  “Joke. That was a joke. I wouldn’t emasculate you like that.”

  “Carrying a purse wouldn’t emasculate me,” Hunter said. Yeah, I bet.

  “I’d carry it, but it doesn’t go with my outfit,” Dev said. We all burst out laughing.

  “Ditto,” Sean said as we left.

  I took each of their arms.

  “Shall we? To the bar!” I said, raising a fist.

  We all walked in unison, Hunter trailing behind.

  “You got a third arm for me?” he said.

  “No, sorry. You can have my purse.” I tossed my black clutch at him, and he caught it.

  “Well done. You may fetch my drinks this evening.”

  “And what are they going to do?” he asked.

  “Fan me and make sure I’m comfortable. Right?”

  “My fanning skills are at your service,” Dev said, squeezing my arm.

  “I guess that means I’m on comfortable duty,” Sean said.

  “Man, are you always this easy?” I said to them.

  “That’s what she said,” Hunter mumbled behind me.

  “I heard that,” I said over my shoulder.

  “You walked right into it, what was I supposed to do?”

  “Control yourself, purse man.”

  The slight chill in the air made my skin pimple, and I wished I’d brought a jacket.

  “You cold?” Sean said.

  “I’m fine. We’re almost there.”

  Blue Lagoon was hopping again. It seemed that everyone had been bitten by the fall bug, or maybe it was a hold-out from summer. There was already a girl puking her guts out next to a car in the parking lot.

  “It is your job tonight, all of you, to make sure I don’t turn out like that,” I said, pointing to the girl, whose hair was being held by an equally drunk girl who could barely stand.

  “Hold on a second,” Hunter said.

  “What’s he doing?” Dev said.

  We all watched as he went over to the girl, who was making sure she steered clear of the vomit stream coming from her friend’s mouth.

  “I have no idea,” I said.

  He talked to the girl who wasn’t vomiting. She shook her head, and he motioned to me.

  “You got your phone? My battery died. I’m going to call them a cab. They don’t live on campus.”

  “Of course,” I said, fishing out my phone and searching for the number for one of the local cab companies that frequented the campus.

  “I don’t know where my purse went,” the non-vomiting one said. “Purse” came out “pursh.” The other girl was slumped on the pavement, moaning.

  “It’s okay, you’ll find it tomorrow. We’re gonna call you a cab, okay? Do you know where you live?” he said.

  She gave him the address, and I relayed that to the cab company in case they forgot.

  Dev and Sean got in on the action, helping vomit girl up and running inside to get a wet paper towel and a cup of water so she could try to clean herself up.

  The cab came a few minutes later, and we got them both in. The cabbie assured us he would get them home safe and refused payment when Hunter pulled out some cash.

  “No need. One good turn deserves another,” he said, waving to us and taking the drunken girls home. They probably weren’t going to remember the kindness Hunter showed them, but I would.

  “Everyone ready to go in?” I really wanted to get away from the vomit smell, and my teeth were starting to chatter.

  “What is it with girls and not having coats?” Hunter said.

&nb
sp; “Well, I didn’t plan for this random moment of good Samaritan-ship.”

  “You never do,” he said, walking to the door.

  We saw a different bouncer this time, but he also knew Hunter. He was certainly a popular fellow. My fake ID was barely scrutinized before I was let in.

  “One girl, three men. Damn,” he said.

  “These are my toys,” I said, feeling bold. God, I hadn’t even had a drink yet.

  “Need one more?”

  “Maybe. I’ll let you know,” I said with a wink as I sashayed away.

  “Are you sure you’re not drunk already?” Hunter said, his face a little stunned by my sassiness.

  “Drunk on life, Hunter. Drunk on life.”

  *****

  An hour later I was a drink and a half in, and having a good time with the guys. We’d seated ourselves at one end of the bar and were busy watching the mayhem around us. Hunter was next to me, and it wasn’t my imagination that his hand kept finding itself somewhere on my body. My back, my shoulder, my waist. I was too blissed out on rum and cokes to bother slapping it away. Besides, I was feeling nice since he had been so concerned about those drunken girls.

  He’d been a jerk today, but he’d also been sweet and adorable with Harper. They were like two peas in a pod. She was an odd little girl, but he got her.

  “Do you want to dance?” he said in my ear.

  I knew my face was red from the alcohol, but it got redder and hotter with him standing behind me.

  “Sure.”

  I was a tiny bit unsteady when I got down from my stool, but I could walk fine. Dev and Sean were busy chatting up two girls who had spotted them from across the room and were on the prowl. I didn’t think they’d be going back to their own apartments tonight.

  “I’m going to get you drunk more often. You’re very compliant tonight,” Hunter said.

  “I’m not that drunk, Hunter.” I really wasn’t. Just pleasantly buzzed. I’d never really been drunk before. It didn’t seem like a thing I’d want to do.

  “Not yet. I just need to get a few more drinks in you and then you’ll be swooning in my arms.”

  “Whatever.”

  I took his hand and led him to the dance floor, which, big surprise, was crowded. I shoved and pushed until I found a little bit of room. Hunter came with me, making his own room. I started to groove, but Hunter stopped me.

  “Oh no, I didn’t bring you here to dance like that, as much as I love watching you do that thing with your hips.” He yanked me close, wrapping his hands around my waist, and creeping down my back to my ass. Watch it, Mister.

  “I want to dance,” he said, starting to move, “like this. I want to dance like we’re the same person.”

  “I thought you didn’t like me.”

  “I don’t,” he mouthed, and then closed his eyes for a moment. Before opening them and meeting my eyes.

  “Dance with me. Just dance with me.”

  So I did.

  We danced for what seemed like hours. Hunter left for a moment and returned with another drink that I somehow balanced while we danced. My body felt liquid, heavy and smooth. Hunter had another drink and he seemed to be lost. Like that moment in his room when we’d been the only two people on a planet that was standing still.

  His hands were on me, mine were on him, we were both sweating and breathing heavily, and the music hurt my head and pounded in my skull and it was all too much and not enough.

  Eventually I got too hot and I started to walk away to take a break. Hunter followed me, and it was like the dance bubble we’d been in had burst.

  “Do you want another drink?”

  “Some water would be good,” I said, fanning myself.

  Dev and Sean had come to find us earlier to say that they were headed to a house party with the two lovely ladies whose names I couldn’t remember at the moment. Abandoned in my time of need, I was.

  Hunter came back with a glass of water for me, complete with a lime wedge and another beer for himself.

  “How you feeling?”

  “Fine,” I said.

  “You gonna be ready to go soon?” It was still relatively early.

  “Why, do you want to go?”

  He shrugged. Yup, the dance moment was broken. We each sipped our drinks in silence.

  “I still don’t like you,” he said suddenly. “Despite, all of that.” He waved his hand. I supposed he was indicating the vertical expression of the horizontal desire we’d been doing only minutes before. We were back to walking that fine line between roommates and… whatever else.

  Hunter drank his beer, and I sipped my water. We were sitting at the same bar, but it was like we were sitting across from each other with the Grand Canyon between us.

  Hunter finished his beer and got another. He was on his fifth or sixth, I couldn’t remember. I’d never seen him drink so freely. I sat and fiddled with my phone, and sipped my water and watched the other dancers. Hunter wouldn’t talk to me, even though I tried a few times.

  After he finished his most recent drink, I said I was ready to go. It hadn’t turned out to be the fun night I’d expected. The memories of Hunter and I dancing sizzled in my mind, setting me on fire.

  We walked back to our place slowly, trying to avoid tripping on unsteady feet. He was just as bad as I was.

  When we got back to our room, Hunter crashed onto the couch. I sat down in the recliner, pulling my feet up and resting my chin on my knees.

  “Are you mad at me?”

  “What?” It was like he’d just remembered I was there. Like he’d been in a trance.

  “Are you mad at me? You’ve barely talked to me all night.”

  “Not everything is about you, Taylor,” he snapped.

  “I know that, you jerk. Why won’t you just talk to me? Something is obviously bothering you. I have some idea that it has to do with your secret meeting with the mysterious Joe. Am I getting warmer?”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, his eyes cold as steel.

  “Then enlighten me. You don’t have to keep everything to yourself.”

  “Maybe I do. I’ve told you that you don’t want to know the truth, so I’m not going to tell you.”

  “Don’t tell me what I will and will not do, Hunter Zaccadelli. You don’t know anything about me.”

  He closed his eyes, as if he was trying to compose himself or praying for patience.

  “You only play Pistol Annies when you’re pissed, usually at me. I know your fake laugh from your real one. You have a great laugh, by the way. I know which shirts are your favorites, because they’re the first ones you wear after you’ve done your laundry. You lick your bottom lip when you’re trying to concentrate on your textbook reading. You cry during those commercials with the abused animals when you think no one is looking. No, I don’t know you at all.”

  “That doesn’t mean anything,” I whispered.

  “It means something.”

  “I thought you didn’t like me.”

  “I don’t want to.” He got up and crouched in front of my chair so fast I almost jumped. “What is it about you? Is it the eyes? Your smile? That sexy laugh? The way you call me out on my shit? I don’t know. All I know is that I don’t like it. I don’t like it.”

  He moved his face close to mine. His breath smelled faintly of beer, but more like him. That spicy smell that clung to him.

  “I don’t like it,” he whispered against my lips. They were almost touching. Almost…

  He pulled back.

  I’d had enough. If I didn’t kiss this boy right here, right now, I was going to die.

  I slammed my hand on the back of his head and pulled his head toward mine. Enough talking. Time for kissing.

  Our lips met and that was it. All our resistance crumbled and suddenly, I was being thrown backward as Hunter tried to devour me none too gently. We landed on the floor as the recliner flipped up.

  “Ow,” I said into his mouth.

 
“Hm,” he said, ignoring the fact that the recliner was bottom-up and we were on the floor. He grabbed me and rolled me, so we were free of the chair that had sabotaged our kiss.

  “I don’t like that chair,” he said as he kissed up and down my face and down to my neck. I rubbed my hands up and down his head, feeling his short hair prickle against my palms. He had just a little bit of stubble on his face, and I could just feel it scraping my hypersensitive skin.

  He bit my earlobe, and I laughed because it tickled.

  “What are you laughing about?”

  “Tickles,” was the only word I could form before his lips were back on mine again and then his tongue was in my mouth. Kissing Hunter was like nothing I’d ever experienced. It was both awful and wonderful at the same time. He was too much, too close, his mouth was too demanding. I’d never been kissed like that before, with pure unadulterated need.

  No guy had ever kissed me as if his salvation depended on it. Hunter kissed like he was going to hell, and he had this one kiss left and he was going to make the most of it.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said when he pulled back to breathe for a second. I was having trouble with it myself.

  Instead of answering, I reached up for his lips again. I wanted them more than I wanted oxygen.

  The sound of the door closing sounded like it was miles away, but then a voice said,

  “Well, hello there.”

  Hunter and I both looked up to meet Renee’s irritated face.

  “It’s about time.”

  Seventeen

  So apparently Renee had had a fight with her mother and had decided to come back to the apartment on Saturday rather than stay home. She’d texted both of us to let us know so we didn’t freak out if she was there, but neither of us had been paying attention to our phones. We hadn’t been paying attention to much of anything other than the other one’s lips.

  Hunter and I had rolled away from one another, breathless and still buzzing with the energy of the kiss. I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to recover from such an explosive kiss.

  “What happened to the recliner?” Renee asked.