My Favorite Mistake

  “You were a child.”

  I tried to shake my head, but he wouldn’t let me.

  “I should have done something.”

  “I let my father shoot my mother and then himself. If anyone should have done something, it’s me.”

  “He had a gun.”

  “He had your sister.”

  “It’s not the same.”

  He sighed. “Taylor, we can what if ourselves to death, but it won’t do anything. The only thing we can do is keep moving, even when it feels like you’re walking through a pit of cement.”

  “With cinderblocks on your shoulders.”

  “Exactly.”

  “The only difference is that your demon has a human form.” His hand traveled up and down my arm in a soothing motion.

  “I’m still sorry I beat you,” I said, touching his perfect face.

  “How’s my face looking?”

  I glanced up. He was going to look quite pretty tomorrow.

  “A little battered.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll just tell everyone I was in a bar fight.”

  “What, you’re ashamed to say you were hit by a girl?”

  “No, but I’m worried you’ll get hauled in for domestic violence,” he said with a smile.

  “Okay, fine.”

  “Feel better?”

  “I guess. I’ll let you know.”

  “It’s okay to be scared.”

  “I hate being scared.”

  “I know. But you don’t have to be scared of him. He’s locked up right now, and you’re not alone. I want you to remember that. You. Are. Not. Alone.”

  “I’ve always been alone. Old habits die hard.”

  “Yes, they do.” He laughed a little. “Are you tired?”

  “Not really.”

  “Then do you mind if I just hold you like this? It’s very nice.”

  “Yes, it is.” I shifted so I could wrap my legs with his, like we had that night we’d spent together.

  “Well, that’s even nicer.”

  “Hunter.”

  “Sorry, Miss.”

  “Every time I think about being physical with someone, all I can remember are his hands and his face above mine, and not being able to breathe. I know I shouldn’t associate those things, but I do and I can’t seem to change it. Every time I think about sex, that’s what I think about. That’s why I’ve never been with anyone. Well, part of the reason. I just never met anyone who I’d wanted to even attempt it with.”

  “Until me? Please say until me.”

  “Until you.” I reached up and touched a spot that was starting to turn purple on his cheek. “But I’m a freak. You wouldn’t want me.”

  “I don’t want anyone but you.”

  “You’re just going to have to be patient with me,” I said, tracing his face with one finger. He grabbed my hand and kissed it.

  “I’ll do my best. Not making any promises.”

  “How about this?” I said, having an idea. “We have a word that I can say if I start freaking out.”

  “Like a safe word? Baby, you’ve been reading too many sketchy romance novels, haven’t you? I saw them on your e-reader.”

  “Whatever. Okay, so what should my safe word be?”

  “How about stop?”

  “Boring.” I went through a bunch of words.

  “Mistake,” Hunter said, smiling.

  “Perfect.” He held my hand in front of his face, turning it back and forth, as if he was fascinated.

  “You have such tiny hands,” he said.

  “Uh, thank you?”

  “They’re cute and feminine. I like them.”

  “I think I’ll keep them. I don’t have my receipt for the hand store so I can’t trade them in.”

  He laughed, his chest moving under me in a wonderful way. He stared down at me and smiled, bringing my hand to his lips. He kissed each of my fingers and then the back of my hand. He turned my palm over and kissed that. He took his time, as if waiting for me to say the safe word. I didn’t.

  Hunter kissed down my arm, all the way into the inside of my elbow, which was surprisingly sensitive. He waited before putting one hand under my chin and tipping my face up. He moved so close our noses touched before he tentatively kissed my lips. Pulling back, he waited for me to tell him to stop. I didn’t.

  He reached for my lips again, this time lingering. I kissed him back, moving my mouth so it fit against his. How was it we fit so well together? Hunter pulled back again, and I opened my eyes.

  “I’m going to kiss you now, and I’m not going to stop.”

  “I don’t want you to.”

  “Okay, then.” He brought my face toward his again and opened his mouth as I opened mine to deepen the kiss. At that moment, I wanted to crawl inside him and hide. His tongue entered my mouth, and I let him. I couldn’t really use the safe word because my mouth was occupied. I didn’t want to use it anyway.

  Hunter pulled me closer, twisting our fingers together as he nipped at my bottom lip.

  For a moment, he pulled away so we could both breathe.

  “Want me to stop?” he said.

  “Nope.”

  “Then I suggest we move this to our bedroom. Your bed or mine?”

  “Mine,” I said.

  He wiggled out from under me and picked me up, kissing my lips as he did so.

  “No kissing and walking. I don’t want to hurt you,” he said while he carried me back to our room. He nearly tripped on a few t-shirts, but he got me on the bed and then his lips were back on mine. I moved over so he could climb on. Damn those tiny beds.

  Before he continued, he held my face in his hands.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Right now, yes.” I didn’t know if I’d change my mind. Kissing was nice and well and good, but once clothes started coming off, and other areas started getting explored, I wasn’t sure if the ugly shadow of that horrible night would swallow me up again.

  In response, he kissed me again, and then sat up, pulling at the hem of his shirt.

  “I want to do it,” I said, propping myself on my elbows.

  “Your wish is my command, princess.”

  I’d never taken a shirt off a guy before, but guy’s shirts weren’t that different from girl’s shirts, right? They had armholes and were made of cotton and all that. How hard could it be? I started pulling up, and he put his arms up. I got it kind of stuck on his nose, but he moved it so he could get his head through before he chucked it on the floor.

  “We’ll have to practice that one,” he said, coming back for another kiss. He moved down to my ear, which made me giggle, and then down to my neck, which made me sigh. I ran my hands up and down his chest, tracing his tattoos. I wondered what they tasted like.

  “I want to see you,” he said into my neck. “Roll with me.” He got his arms around me and we rolled, somehow not coming off the bed, so I was on top of him. He reached for the hem of my shirt, never taking his eyes off mine and waiting for me to say the word. I put my arms up.

  He got the shirt off with more grace than I had, but he’d had practice.

  “Show-off,” I said as he stared at me. I only had a bra on, and it wasn’t a very sexy one.

  “A belly ring? Christ, you are trying to kill me. How did I not know about that?” His finger dipped into my belly button, and I had to bite my lip.

  “It’s my little secret.”

  He stared at me for a few more seconds before he reached for me so we could roll back the other way.

  “You’re so pretty it hurts.” He ran his hands over my royal blue bra. At least it had a little lace on it, but it had seen better days.

  He moved his head down and kissed his way across my chest, my skin shivering in anticipation. When he got to my bellybutton he kissed that too, and I moaned a little. I wasn’t thinking about anything else but me and him. We were in our bubble again.

  His hands were all over me, covering every inch of my skin with a light touch, setting my s
kin aflame. I touched him as well, and he made a sound in response.

  “Too fast?” he said, stopping.

  “No.”

  I kissed him again; this time his hands roamed the rest of me, going lower and setting a fire there as well. I ran my hands across his back and grabbed his ass. I’d wanted to touch it for a very long time.

  It was well worth the wait.

  “I need to get something. Damn I should have thought of this ahead of time.” He glanced over to his dresser, which was several feet away. “You’re coming with me.” He got up and picked me up again, walking with me to the dresser where he grabbed a foil packet from his sock drawer. My chest was pressed to his, and I only wanted to be closer, closer, closer.

  “Wrap it before you tap it,” he said, holding the package in his fist before taking us back to my bed. I laughed as we made our way back to my bed.

  It was happening. It was really happening.

  Hunter set me back down and made sure the packet was in easy reach for when he needed it.

  “Not yet,” he said.

  “Not yet,” I agreed.

  We kissed some more, and he ran his hands all over me. I decided that clothes were highly overrated. They were between me and him, and I did not like them at the moment. I started tugging at his boxers, mad at them for separating us.

  “No way, you first,” he said.

  It wasn’t really fair that he would be completely naked, and me not so much at all, so I leaned up so he could undo the clasp of my bra. Of course he got it with one hand.

  “I’ve had practice,” he said as he slid the straps down my arms and removed it. Well, there I was.

  He smiled and kissed my lips before moving his mouth lower and kissing my nipples. My breath hissed out from between my teeth and my back arched. Hunter laughed, which tickled in the best way, making things even worse.

  “My turn,” I said, trying to push him so I could kiss his chest. He settled for lying on his side while I was on mine. I kissed his tattoos, one by one. His eyes closed, and he made a contented sound. That made me smile. I kissed my way across his chest as he moved his hands through my hair and all over my back.

  We moved our lips back together, and he rolled back above me. I moved my hands down to his boxers, insistent again.

  “Taylor, if you touch me there, I’m not going to be able to make it. Just warning you.”

  “Okay,” I said, moving my hands away from that particular area. He pushed against me, and I could feel that he was ready. Was I?

  “I want to touch you,” he said.

  “You are.”

  “Everywhere.”

  I didn’t hesitate. “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Yes.” Oh, it was more than okay.

  His hands made their way down my stomach and into my shorts. Holy crappity fuck. I’d never felt that before.

  Doing it yourself was one thing, but having a man with slightly calloused hands touch you there was something else entirely. It was like he’d taken a class and gotten an A.

  I’d had orgasms before, I mean, who hadn’t? Renee had dragged me to a sex toy party last year, and I’d bought a few things, but nothing worked better than Hunter Zaccadelli’s hands.

  My back arched and I bit my lip so I wouldn’t be too loud.

  “We’re alone; you be as loud as you want, Missy. I plan for this to be a regular thing,” he said, kissing me. His hand continued to work, torturing me again.

  I wasn’t sure how much more I could take. On my own my record was three. I was coming up on number two in a very short span of time.

  “I want you so bad right now.”

  “Okay,” I said as another one hit me. That time I made a lot of noise. Hunter kissed me again, and decided that he’d had enough of clothes, too.

  The next thing I knew we were both naked, and his entire body was pressed on mine.

  “This is going to hurt. If you want me to stop, just say the word and I will. There are plenty of other things we can do,” he said with a smirk. “But I don’t want this to be a bad memory. I want this to be a good one.”

  He kissed me again, and I reveled in the feeling of his warm skin against mine. Hunter pulled away to rip open the wrapper and roll the condom on.

  “Are you ready?”

  “Yes.” I was. This was my choice. My body. My Hunter.

  He pushed into me, and I tried not to cry out in pain. It hurt.

  “Aw, baby, I’m sorry.” He kissed me, and I held onto him until he was all the way in. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” He stayed still for a few seconds, and my body started to adjust. It was a strange sensation, but I didn’t want it to stop.

  “Taylor?” Hunter said, brushing my hair back from my face. “I love you.”

  “I love you,” I said without even hesitating. In that moment, as we were joined together as one person, I did. He pulled out and thrust in again. It hurt again, but not as bad.

  “Again?” he asked, his muscles trembling.

  “Again.”

  He started going faster, and the pleasure started overwhelming the pain. I moved my hips up to meet him, and he kissed me hard. He groaned a little while later, and I felt him come. He fell against me, exhausted. Hunter tried to pull out, but I wrapped my legs around him so he wouldn’t.

  “Not yet,” I said. I wanted to keep this moment for as long as I could.

  “I love you,” he said, kissing me as he rolled us both onto our sides. We were both sweaty and still a little out of breath, but it didn’t matter. “More than the stars.”

  “I love you, too,” I said, holding him close.

  “I believe you.”

  We stayed connected as long as we could, but then he had to pull out and toss the condom. When he came back we lay naked for a while, touching each other softly and trying to figure out what we could say that would make sense.

  “Did I hurt you?” he said.

  “Yes, but it doesn’t matter.”

  “I wish I hadn’t.”

  “Don’t un-wish it. It was perfect.”

  “Perfectly -imperfect.”

  “Like us,” I said.

  “Just like us.” He kissed my nose. “More?”

  “More what?”

  “I have a whole repertoire that I want to use on you. It’s one of my many talents. It’s my goal to satisfy.”

  “And I appreciate that. Must be those fingers,” I said, bringing them to my mouth and kissing them. I rubbed them across my lips.

  “Must be.”

  I wasn’t a virgin anymore.

  “I know I should be freaking out right now, but I’m not,” I said.

  “Good.” He ran his finger between my breasts and flicked my belly ring. “I have to say that I enjoy that, very much.”

  “I didn’t get it with you in mind.”

  “Why did you get it?”

  I propped my head on my hand. “I always thought they looked pretty, and it seemed daring.”

  “I like it on you.” He leaned forward and kissed my belly. I sighed again. God, that felt so good. He felt good.

  “Shit,” he said, pointing to my comforter. I’d sort of forgotten about the bleeding part in the heat of the moment.

  “Aw, crap. Guess I’m due for a new one.” My face went red, and I stuffed my face into my pillow.

  “It’s okay; we’ll just stay in mine tonight.”

  “I should get cleaned up.”

  He raised one eyebrow. “Can I help?” I was about to say hell no, but then I thought of all the times I’d thought about bathing with Hunter. They were too numerous to count.

  “To the shower,” I said, raising my arm. He took the opportunity to tickle me under my armpit as he climbed over me so he could pick me up.

  “We can soak that in the tub later,” he said about my comforter.

  There was something absolutely weird about being completely naked with another person and not caring.

  He turned the showe
r on and made sure it was the right temperature before he let me get in.

  We spent most of the time kissing, with me trying not to drown under the water and him laughing at me. My hair kept getting in the way. I had way too much of it.

  We soaped each other up and had a little too much fun washing special parts. He made me come a few more times, and I had to hold onto him because my legs wouldn’t support me.

  “You are really good at that,” I said after another one.

  “You’re easy.” I smacked his chest with a wet slap. “You know what I mean. All those years of not doing anything and you’re all pent up. All I have to do is push the button.” He pushed said button and I cried out, falling against him.

  “I told you I was a virgin, not a nun. I know how to make it happen. It’s just better when you do it.”

  “I knew girls did that. Most of the ones I’ve been with denied it.”

  “Not as much as boys, but we have needs, too.”

  “Needy, needy, girl.” He kissed my mouth and moved me so the water pounded on my back. He lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around him.

  I loved him.

  Twenty-Five

  Neither of us wanted to put clothes on, so we didn’t. We spent the rest of the night in Hunter’s bed, talking and kissing and touching. It was sweet and nice and glorious.

  He told me more about his parents and different stories about growing up. I told him about my childhood, about the good times before my dad became a douche.

  “So are we going to talk about what happened?” he said.

  “You mean the sex?”

  “I mean the love part that happened during the sex. There should really be a better word for it. Sex sounds so clinical.”

  “Canoodling?” I suggested.

  “Making whoopee.”

  “Rolling in the hay.”

  “Making love.”

  We both laughed. He ran his hands across my breasts and up to my face.

  “So, the love part,” I said.

  “Yeah. That happened, didn’t it?”

  “Yes, it did. You’re not the only one who said it.”

  “I realize that. So what are we going to do about it?”

  “Pretend it was a fluke during the heat of the moment?”

  He thought about that, making a circle around my navel. “Nope, still love you.” He kissed the spot right where my heart beat.