My Favorite Mistake

  “You’re not embarrassed about anything.”

  He moved the pillow away from my face.

  “Not really. Until tomorrow, goodnight, Princess.” He kissed my nose, and I popped in my retainer and snuggled into him.

  “Missy?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Your mom is kind of awesome, but she looks like she wants to shoot me most of the time.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ve been on the receiving end of that look more than once.”

  “So it’s not just me?”

  “Nope.”

  “Good to know. I thought she was going to be all sweetness and light from the way you were talking.”

  “She is sweet. Sweeter than I am anyway.”

  “How could anyone be sweeter than you?”

  “Oh, it’s possible.”

  “No way,” he said with a yawn.

  I yawned and didn’t argue. Too tired.

  *****

  Hunter and I didn’t beat Mom to the kitchen the next morning, because the coffee was already on when we got up after a night of platonic cuddling.

  “I didn’t hear anything I didn’t want to hear, so I’m going to assume I don’t need to have a chat with anyone.”

  “Mom!” Seriously?

  “She’s not trying to give you a sex talk, is she?” Tawny said, scrubbing her face with her hands and stumbling toward the coffee.

  “Ugh, can we not do this right now? I just woke up.”

  “Eggs anyone?” Mom said, holding up a frying pan. She’d mixed the eggs with cream cheese, just like she did when I was younger.

  “Plates?” Hunter said, going for the cabinet.

  “Top shelf,” I said, grabbing silverware out of the dishwasher.

  Tawny shuffled to the table, crashing into her seat. Tawny didn’t do mornings well.

  We had breakfast and after Tawny had consumed three cups of coffee, she grabbed Hunter and made him show her how to play the guitar as a ruse so Mom could grill me.

  “Are you being safe?” was the first thing she asked.

  “God, Mom. Yes. You know I’m on the pill.”

  “But that doesn’t protect you from everything.”

  “Mom, just trust me. I’m not a moron.” I was helping her do the dishes and contemplating trying to drown myself in the soapy water to avoid the rest of this conversation.

  “It’s just, unexpected, that’s all. You’ve never expressed an interest in anyone, so it was shocking to hear that you had.”

  “He’s different.”

  “I saw the tattoos. How many does he have?”

  “Um,” I said, both stalling and counting. “Five.”

  She held onto the sink. “Dear Lord. Please don’t tell me he has a motorcycle.”

  “He doesn’t.”

  “Well, that’s good to know.”

  “Why? What difference would it make if he had a motorcycle?”

  “Kid, when you’re a mother with daughters, you’ll understand.”

  “Is the interrogation over?” I asked.

  “Taylor, I’m just kind of in shock. He’s not the kind of guy I would have picked for you.”

  I closed my eyes and told myself that she wasn’t saying anything bad about him. It was true. He wasn’t the kind of guy I would have seen myself with.

  “After everything that… happened, and when you couldn’t seem to get over it, I just thought you were never going to take the plunge. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing; I’m just saying be careful.”

  “I will.”

  “Okay. I can see that he makes you happy.”

  We both smiled.

  “He does. Happier than I knew was possible.”

  “That’s great, Kid. Really great.” She gave me a soapy hug that made the back of my shirt damp, but I didn’t mind.

  “Speaking of love lives. Anything new to report?”

  “No, and that is none of your business, young lady.”

  “Have you talked to Dad?”

  “Last week. He’s seeing someone new.”

  “What happened to Michelle?”

  “No idea. We didn’t talk long. He asked about you, and I said you had a boyfriend. He wasn’t very happy.”

  “He doesn’t get a say in my life.”

  “Kid, he is your father, even if he isn’t in your life. You should call him. He’d want to know about the hearing.” We’d managed to make it this far into the weekend without talking about it. I was hoping we’d make it all the way, but we didn’t.

  “I don’t want to talk about that.”

  “You’re going to have to deal with it. He’s not this monster you’ve built him up to be in your mind. Granted, he’s one sick fuck, but he’s just human.” Mom didn’t swear often, and when she did, I paid attention.

  “I know, I know.”

  “You need to take care of your past before you can move on to your future. If you want a future with Hunter, you’re going to have to deal with your past.”

  “Well, nearly eight years of therapy hasn’t helped, so I’m not sure there’s much hope,” I said, snapping a little.

  “Well, when therapy fails, there’s love. You love him, don’t you?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Love heals all wounds.”

  “When did you get so philosophical?”

  “I just started taking a poetry class at the library.”

  “Really?”

  Mom wasn’t one to try new things, so that was huge. We talked about that while Hunter and Tawny sang drinking songs. Apparently, he knew a lot of them.

  “I have many talents you are not even aware of, Missy girl,” he said.

  “What is with the nickname? I’ve been meaning to ask,” Mom said.

  “Oh, it’s not a very interesting story,” I said. For some reason, I didn’t want him to tell it.

  “That means that it is. Spill, Hunter,” Tawny said.

  “It’s nothing special. Just a little mistake I made when we first met.”

  “Lame,” Tawny said.

  “Your father used to call me Sharon,” Mom said.

  “What?” Tawny and I said at the same time.

  “It’s an equally dumb story. We met at a party and for some reason he was convinced my name was Sharon. It wasn’t until our third date when I set him straight.”

  Tawny and I laughed after a stunned silence.

  “What? I was nervous. He was my first boyfriend.”

  I looked at Hunter. You just never knew.

  Mom made us take a few pictures, mostly of Hunter pretending to teach me to play guitar. She liked action shots. None of those lame posed things where people smiled like they were in pain. Hunter kept whispering innuendos in my ear, so every smile and laugh was genuine.

  “Okay, well we have to get back. We both have tests to study for,” I said after the millionth flash. I’d been slacking lately, because canoodling was much more fun than anything my textbooks had to offer. I needed to get my ass in gear if I wanted to keep my GPA high enough to get into Phi Beta Kappa.

  “I should probably shove off, too,” Tawny said, getting up to give Mom a hug.

  “It was so nice of you to have me, Blaire,” Hunter said.

  “I hope to see you again, Hunter. Please be careful with my baby girl,” she said as I hugged her. Ugh.

  “I will treasure her.”

  “You’d better,” Mom said, sort of puffing herself up. She didn’t mess around. Hunter leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  *****

  On Wednesday, it was my turn to be nervous and jittery. It seemed that whenever Hunter and I were together, at least one of us was trying to help the other not freak out. At least we were balanced that way.

  I had a nightmare the night before the scheduled meeting with Mr. Woodward, the assistant district attorney. I woke to find myself biting Hunter’s shoulder and him trying to get me to let go. Luckily, I hadn’t broken the skin.

  ??
?It’s okay, Miss. I’m a big boy. I can handle it. I wish I could be there with you.”

  “I have to do this on my own.”

  “I know. I’m not trying to say that you can’t. I just want to be there.” He rubbed my shoulders, and I could almost hear him counting to five. “I got you a little something. No, it didn’t cost me a lot. I kind of made it.” He handed me a paper bag with another little box in it.

  “More jewelry?”

  “Just one little thing.”

  I opened the little cardboard box to find a necklace with several charms on it, all in silver. A number seven, a four-leaf clover, a scarab beetle, a horseshoe, and a star.

  “I just wanted you to have some luck with you. Some of my luck.” The necklace was so long I was able to put it over my head without undoing the clasp. I looked at it in the mirror, fingering the charms.

  “Thanks, baby. I love it,” I said.

  “You do?”

  “I do. Did you say that you made it?”

  “I had to go to that bead store in downtown Bangor and have the woman help me find the charms. There were fifty million of them, by the way. But you’re worth it.”

  “Thanks.”

  He held me for a moment and I breathed him in, twisting the necklace around my finger. I wasn’t ready, not even for the meeting. I associated Mr. Woodward with a really bad and dark time in my life that I wished I could bury far behind me. I wanted to move forward with Hunter, not go backward.

  He kissed my forehead and left, giving me a moment to myself. I stared in the mirror, watching the necklace sparkle. Such a thoughtful boy. I smoothed my hair back and took a breath. I wasn’t ready, but I’d have to be. Hunter had wanted to come with me, but I insisted on going alone. It was stupid for him to skip class just to be my bodyguard.

  I had to leave soon or else I’d be late. With one last look, I grabbed my purse and keys and walked into the living room to find Hunter and Renee deep in conversation. Probably about me.

  “I’m going,” I said.

  “Good luck,” Renee said.

  “I’ve got some,” I said, showing her the necklace.

  “Dude, I’ve got to get you to influence Paul. I can’t remember the last sparkly thing he bought me.”

  “I’ll do my best,” Hunter said, taking my hand to walk me to my car.

  “Call me when you’re done. I’ll have my phone on, just in case. I wish you would let me come with you.”

  “I can’t lean on you for everything.”

  “You kept yourself propped up for nearly twenty years, so I think you can handle it.”

  “I hope so.”

  He gave me a soft kiss and flicked at my necklace.

  “Good luck, Miss.”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you, too. More than the stars.”

  “Same here.”

  I got one more kiss and I was alone. I watched him walk away and wave before I started the car.

  The drive to Mr. Woodward’s office in Waterville felt both too long and too short. I pulled in front of his office and I had a flashback of coming here with my mother and Tawny. Not good.

  I wrapped Hunter’s necklace around my hand and saw that Tawny’s car was already here. I sent her a quick text saying that I was as well and went through the front door. Mr. Woodward’s office used to be a house, but had been split into offices. It was pretty swanky, with lush burgundy carpeting and gorgeous lighting that looked like old- time lanterns. Still, the memory of that office made my stomach twist.

  His office was on the second floor, so I climbed the oak stairs and saw that his door was open and that Tawny was already inside. I forced my feet to walk forward, one step at a time until I was inside the office.

  “Taylor, it’s nice to see you again. How have you been? Your sister has just been filling me in on your doings.”

  It was a good thing Mr. Woodward looked like a sweet grandpa and liked to chatter to fill awkward silence. I’d had a lot of those with him all those years ago.

  “I’m good.” He waited for more, but that was all he was going to get. It was all I could do to sit in the chair he offered me and not run away and call Hunter and tell him to come get me.

  “Okay, well I’m sure you know by now that Travis Moore is up for parole. There will be a hearing next Thursday, and you are both welcome to be there to give a statement. I’m so sorry we didn’t notify you sooner. It was a clerical oversight that has since been remedied.” Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

  “What about other people coming with us to be in the courtroom?” Tawny said. I reached for her hand and gave it a little squeeze. She had been our microphone back then as well.

  “Just immediate family. Your mother, your father. Of course, I’ll be there.”

  “What about her fiancé?” Tawny said.

  “You’re engaged?”

  I just nodded and switched my ring from right to left hand, hoping he didn’t notice. I held my hand up as soon as the ring was safely on my finger.

  “Well, congratulations! That’s wonderful. Who is the lucky fellow?”

  I cleared my throat to steer him back toward our question.

  “Can he be with me?”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. Immediate family only.”

  Fuck. So much for the fake engagement.

  “So I just wanted to go over a few things about the hearing and start you getting prepared to speak.”

  With that, I tuned him out. Tawny stayed aware, sitting forward and nodding, engaging and asking questions. He gave us packets of information that I hoped I’d be able to read.

  I looked out the window at the tree outside. It was a lot taller than it had been when I’d been in this office last.

  Tawny had to pinch me to tell me it was time to go.

  “If you have any questions, please call me and just remember, even if he’s released early, he will still be on the Sex Offender Registry for the rest of his life. That means he’ll be under extreme scrutiny, so there is nothing for you to worry about, okay?” Easy for him to say.

  “If that’s all, I’ll see you next Thursday. Have a good afternoon, ladies.”

  We both shook his hand and exited, Tawny keeping her hand on my back.

  “Stairs,” she said, as if I needed reminding.

  “I’ve got it.”

  “I know.”

  We walked out of the office, and I finally felt like I could breathe.

  “You okay? I thought I lost you again.”

  “I zoned.”

  “I noticed.”

  “Did you get everything?”

  “More or less. I’ll call you when you’re not in zombie mode and we’ll discuss. Okay?”

  “Works for me.” She handed me my half of the packet, which included a breakdown of court proceedings and victim’s rights.

  We walked back to our separate cars, and I found that someone was leaning against mine.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Hunter was perched on the hood of my car, my e-reader in his hand.

  “Took a cab. I knew you wouldn’t let me come, so I decided to do it without telling you. How are you doing?”

  Well, I was vertical and I hadn’t thrown up or passed out. That was something. I shrugged one shoulder.

  “Thanks for coming,” Tawny said, giving him a one-armed hug. He didn’t go for me right away, as if sensing I didn’t want to be touched at the moment.

  “Anytime. Gotta do right by my girl. Hey, do you have my number? You know, just in case Taylor forgets to tell me about things like this?”

  “Hello? Standing right here,” I said.

  “Sure.”

  They exchanged numbers, and Tawny gave me a hug before hopping in her car and saying she’d see me next week. Joy.

  “Are you happy to see me?” he said.

  “Yes and no. I’m mad at you for missing class, but not mad because it was a very sweet thing to do.”

  “I can settle for that. Can I touch you?”

&nb
sp; I nodded and he gave me a gentle hug, but refrained from kissing me.

  “How was it?”

  “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I checked out for most of it. Tawny took notes.”

  “I’m sure she did. You ready to go home?”

  “Yeah.” I let him drive because my brain was too tired to drive and think at the same time.

  “You hungry?”

  “Not really.”

  “You haven’t eaten much today. Why don’t we stop somewhere?”

  “There’s a diner one exit up that has PB and J on the adult menu,” I said.

  “This is a place we need to visit.”

  So we did.

  I ordered a PB and J with strawberries, and he got banana in his. Hunter turned out to be a master of talking about things that weren’t important, but interesting enough to keep my mind occupied. He probably learned it from Hope, or his mother, or both.

  We shared a dark chocolate shake, with two straws and everything.

  “I feel like I should be saying you look swell,” he said.

  I batted my eyelashes. “Golly gee, Hunter. That sure is sweet of you.”

  “Swell is a cool word. We need to bring it back.”

  “We should. Let’s do it.”

  “I shall put it in a song.”

  “And I will applaud that song.”

  “You are very good at applauding.”

  I nodded seriously. “It’s one of my talents.”

  I put the meeting with Mr. Woodward to the back of my mind, along with all the other scary things. No doubt they were going to get me in the middle of the night anyway. I didn’t want that infringing on my Hunter time.

  We drove back to campus, and I fell asleep in the car. When I woke, I was in my bed with Hunter, pjs on, with him lying next to me, lamp on, e-reader in hand.

  “What are you so enthralled with?” I said.

  “I have to see who she’s going to end up with.”

  “There are still more books.”

  “There are? Damn. I was hoping we could put this baby to bed.”

  “You are so weird.”

  “Swell. I’m swell.”

  “Oh, right.”

  He put down my e-reader, making sure it was safe back in the case.

  “May I kiss you now? My swell lips have been very lonely.” He pouted, making me laugh.