Control

  My eyes widened at what he was telling me. I felt sorry for bringing it up. “I’m sorry to hear that. It sounds rough.”

  He smiled slightly. “It was. But I grew past it and made something of myself, so I guess it doesn’t really matter that much. I survived.” He shrugged his shoulder to brush it off. “Want some coffee? I was going to go put on a pot.”

  “Coffee? Yes please.”

  He chuckled in response to my instant acceptance and pushed himself off the bed. “I’ll leave you to get cleaned up and dressed. The bathroom is through that door if you need it. Meet me in the kitchen when you get done.”

  He walked across the room and I admired his half-dressed body as he passed. He’d put on his jeans at some point while I was sleeping and they hung off his hips and accented the perfect shape of his midsection. Once he was out of the room, I jumped up and started gathering my clothing together. I made my way into the bathroom and gasped when I saw that it was bigger than my bedroom at home. The tiles and countertops of the bathroom were the same as the kitchen. There was a glass enclosed shower with multiple shower heads and a separate oversized tub that could probably fit five people at one time.

  After I was dressed and freshened up, I padded out in search of Daemon. The smell of the freshly brewed coffee attacked my senses as soon as I stepped foot in the kitchen and I hustled over to the machine in search of my caffeine fix. I heard Daemon chuckle behind me and I turned to find him standing there holding up a cup. “You’ll need this I think, unless of course you were just planning on sticking a straw directly in the pot.”

  I smiled at that thought but added, “Nah, the cup will come in handy actually. I need something to measure out my sugar and creamer.” Daemon handed me the cup and then turned to reach up in the cabinets to pull down my coffee supplies. He watched in amusement as I put together my mixture and shook his head when I gave him a thumbs up when it was put together.

  I laughed. “Alex swears I’m going to develop diabetes one day from the way I drink this.”

  Daemon’s eyes narrowed slightly when he asked, “What is up with you and Alex exactly?”

  Crap. Explaining Alex was going to be tough. I wasn’t sure how Daemon was going to react and I hoped he wouldn’t get all possessive and obstinate about Alex. That would be a definite deal breaker. “Alex and I are good friends. We dated briefly in college, but he wanted more than I could give, so we remained friends…” I looked up at Daemon through my lashes before adding, “…with benefits.”

  Daemon’s eyes narrowed further and I waited for him to say something that would piss me off. He surprised me with his response. “I feel bad for Alex. Giving up benefits with you will be tough, I imagine. Hopefully, you can remain good friends when all is said and done.”

  I couldn’t help the smile that broke across my face. I was totally expecting him to go all caveman and demand that I not see Alex again. “Yeah, I was hoping he would meet someone else and call things off with me first. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened.”

  Daemon walked over to me and loosely wrapped his arms around me to pull me closer in to him. “It’s like I keep telling you, Damsel. People have to take what they can get with you and they have to be happy to have gotten that. I can understand why Alex hasn’t moved on. I’m not sure I could ever walk away from you.”

  His statement rattled me. I knew that Alex felt more for me than I did for him and I pondered whether I had been leading him on by continuing to sleep with him. If Daemon is right, and Alex was merely accepting what I would allow, than I haven’t been a good friend to him at all. I felt shameful for my actions and I feared that it had been a selfish whim on my part to not stop my arrangement with him. It occurred to me that Alex may have believed that my feelings would change, that I could change, and my heart broke over the realization.

  Daemon crossed through the kitchen towards the living room and sat down on the large leather sofa. I followed him and watched out the window as the sun peaked over the horizon. The sky was a brilliant blue and the clouds were stained pink and orange from the first rays of the sun. I was lost in my thoughts about Alex when Daemon turned and grabbed my legs to pull my feet into his lap. He started massaging my feet as he spoke. “Any plans for today?”

  My mind was in the process of designing an award for his massage abilities and I almost didn’t hear what he had asked me. “Guess I need to head over to my place to figure out what to do about my bike. I’ll probably also look into Chris’ identity and background.”

  Daemon nodded his head as he listened to my plans. “If you need anything from me, you know where to find me. I have to work today and tonight, but I can leave if you need something.”

  My smile brightened at his offer. “Thanks, but I wouldn’t hold your breath. You know how I am about asking for help.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, I’ve started to figure that out about you.” I playfully fluttered my lashes at him in response to his comment.

  Pulling my feet off his lap, I started to push myself off the couch when he grabbed my arm and pulled me back down into his lap. He wrapped his massive arms around my slim frame and placed a kiss on my forehead. “You’re amazing, Paige.”

  My skin must have turned bright pink at the compliment, but I played it off anyway. “I know.” Daemon grinned at my response and released me so I could continue on my way.

  After grabbing my boots and pulling them on, I went back into the living room to find Daemon sitting in the same place, apparently lost in thought. I took a moment to admire his half-dressed state. My mind began flashing back to the night before and I could feel my skin heat at the thought of it. I was nervous that this man could affect me the way he did, and I tried to shake off the feeling before letting any dark thoughts ruin my good mood.

  Daemon looked over to me and my breath hitched. The early morning light cast shadows across his face, hardening his features. He really was magnificent and I became concerned that I might have gotten myself in over my head with him. He stood up and walked into the kitchen, grabbed the keys to the bike and walked over to me to place them in my hand.

  As I was turning to open the front door, I remembered I’d left my helmet at my house. “Crap! I don’t have a helmet.”

  Daemon moved over to a side closet, opened the door and pulled out a white helmet. I raised my eyebrows questioning how his helmet would fit my head and he responded to my silent inquiry by stating, “It’s for passengers, when I have them.”

  Images of slutty redheads clutching themselves to him on the back of his bike played through my head and a twinge of jealousy shot through me. Logan’s warning about Daemon’s man-whore reputation rang in my thoughts and I worried that I could be just one more egg in a basket of many. The walls that had started to crumble around my heart reconstructed at the thought and I felt myself begin to lose the high spirits I had been enjoying this morning.

  Daemon didn’t immediately bring me the helmet, but instead, he walked into the kitchen, opened a drawer and pulled out a black permanent marker. He wrote something in small script on the back of the helmet, smiled at me, and came over to hand the helmet to me. I took it from him and looked to see what he had written. My jaw dropped and I laughed out loud to see that he had tagged the helmet with the word ‘Damsel’.

  Take that slutty redhead!!

  He flashed me a stupid grin and opened the front door to let me out. He took my hand as he walked me to the elevator to escort me down to the garage. The bay door clanked loudly as he raised it above his head and I half walked, half ran, over to the bike. Daemon came up behind me as I started to pull on the helmet and his mouth found mine. When he finished having his way with my lips he looked into my eyes and said, “Please take good care of my trusty steed. I may need it for the next time my fair damsel finds herself in distress.”

  I laughed and replied, “You might want to consider ditching that damsel of yours, she sounds like a pain in the ass.”

  He gave me a sly grin and bent dow
n to whisper in my ear. “You have no idea what a pain in the ass she is.” I laughed while climbing on the bike and Daemon moved out of the way so I could pull out. I flashed him one more giant smile, started the ignition, and off I went.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Details!!!”

  David stood in the doorway of our apartment wearing an apron over his clothes and holding a feather duster. My eyebrows shot up at the sight of him and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me. I motioned to his attire with my hand. “What’s with the housewife getup?” David looked down at his clothing and then waved his hands at me to brush off my question.

  “Oh no, you are not shifting the focus on me. You did not return last night, you were with Man God and I will live vicariously through you this morning.” He ran up behind me, pushed me into the living room of our apartment and shoved me onto the couch. He held up his finger to indicate he needed a minute and ran into the kitchen. I heard cabinets opening and closing and then a beeping as he was setting the microwave. I leaned over to see what he was doing, but he was just out of sight. Within a minute, I heard popcorn popping and the distinct fizz of a soda bottle being opened. The microwave dinged to alert that it was done and David came around the corner holding a bowl of popcorn and a soda. He dropped himself into the wingback chair opposite me and placed the popcorn in his lap. As he raised the first kernel to his mouth, he said, “Okay, I’m ready. Proceed.”

  My grasp at the English language was momentarily stunned as I took in the sex starved, masculine housewife, who was currently eating popcorn in front of me. “Can I ask about the outfit?”

  “No. Details first and then I’ll spill. So make like a canary and sing.”

  The munching of the popcorn was distracting. “Okay, well, we went and got coffee…” David nodded his head enthusiastically. “…and then we went to his place…” David developed a shit eating grin. “…and I spent the night.”

  His face fell.

  “You’re kidding me, right? That’s all you’re going to tell me?! I don’t think so, Paige, you promised a full report and you are going to give me a FULL report. Now spill. I have a house to clean and I don’t have time for your cryptic story telling.”

  I sighed and counted off the details on my fingers. “He loaned me his bike while mine is being fixed. His apartment is well decorated and he is apparently into medieval or renaissance décor.”

  “Oh, that’s super racy. Continue.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “The sexy, dirty, drool will drip uncontrollably from my mouth part. Tell me that.”

  I chuckled at his questioning. “It was nice…okay, it was amazing…seriously David, could you stop with the munching? It’s distracting me”

  The bowl was flung on the table and he sat primly with his hands in his lap. Ugh. I was going to have to draw him a diagram before this inquisition was over. “He blindfolded me, used some weird static noise device to make it so I couldn’t hear, and then he teased the hell out of me to the point where I probably would have attacked him and forced myself on him if he tried to stop.”

  David’s eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He held out his hand to shush me. “Stop right there. He’s kinky? There’s kink involved? I knew I should have opened a bottle of wine.” He waved his hand at me. “Go on.”

  “That’s it, I mean except for the control thing. I’m not sure what to make of that.”

  “Control? Explain.”

  “Well, the other night when I saw him at Tomb, he took me in the back room when Alex was distracted. He told me that if I was his girl, he would possess me, own me and control me.”

  David’s eyebrows crinkled in between his eyes. “And you agreed to talk to him again? You?! Oh my dear friend, Paige, you’re turning over a new leaf.” He clapped his hands excitedly. “I’m so proud.”

  My back sank into the couch when I realized this was going to be a long conversation. “Yeah, I don’t know about that exactly, but anyway, he explained that he didn’t mean that he wanted to control my life…” My voice quieted. “…He just wants to control me in the bedroom.”

  His jaw dropped and his face froze that way for a full minute. When he spoke again, his words came out slow and clearly pronounced. “That is the hottest thing I think you have ever told me. It’s like a scene directly out of a dirty romance novel.” He dropped out of his chair and scooted over to me on his knees to take my hands into his. “So did you like it? I mean, with all your trust issues and all? Honestly, what he did wasn’t all that bad. Kink can get a lot more involved. He is definitely far over on the ‘less is more’ side of the spectrum.”

  I chuckled. “That’s just it, though. He told me that he had gone easy on me because it was the first time. He said that was ‘control lite’ and the next time I would know what control really is.”

  David put his finger to his mouth in thought but then dropped it again. “Wow. That’s…wow. But what I asked was, did you like it?”

  A humorless laugh burst out from me and I couldn’t believe what I was about to say. “Yes, I did. That’s fucked up right?! I don’t know why, but it was the best sex I’ve had in my life. I think I need to seek psychological help.”

  David shook his head in disagreement with what I was saying. “Actually, it makes sense. Think about it. You are so damn strong and independent and, you know, ‘Ms. Powerful Female’ in all aspects of your life, it makes sense that being dominated is a fantasy for you. It’s the one time when you are able to give up control completely, to let someone else call the shots. I imagine that could be a relief for a headstrong person.”

  He was right. It was a relief. I hadn’t thought of it like that but I fell asleep almost immediately afterwards. I’ve never been one not to immediately get up after sex to break away from whoever I was with. But last night I stayed and the thought of leaving Daemon never crossed my mind. “I think I’m in over my head, David. I think Daemon was serious when he said he was being easy on me. What have I gotten myself into?”

  David opened his mouth to respond when an angry voice interrupted. “So, what? You’re going to let this guy use you and degrade you? Are you fucking kidding me, Paige?”

  I snapped my head in the direction of the voice to find Alex standing in my bedroom doorway. He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. His rage was clearly written in his expression.

  I froze. I just, froze. I tried, but I failed to come up with an intelligible word, phrase, or sentence when I saw him standing there.

  He uncrossed his arms and stood straight before stalking into the living room to stand in front of David and me. David raised up one of his hands and said, “Alex, when did you get here? I don’t remember seeing you come…”

  “Give it up, David! You’re not helping her by encouraging her to let this guy fuck with her head!”

  David’s mouth opened and then closed.

  Alex started pacing back and forth on the other side of the coffee table from us. He would stop every once in a while, turn to us like he was going to say something, but then turn without speaking to start pacing again. How in the hell did I let him find out this way? This situation is a thousand times worse than any scenario I had considered.

  Alex turned to us and asked, “Paige? Can we please go talk in private?”

  I nodded in agreement and was happy that the shock had worn off enough so that I could physically move to get up off the couch. Alex turned to go in the room and I followed behind. David gave me a sympathetic smile as I passed.

  Alex closed the door behind us and I sat on the bed. He was quiet and he wouldn’t look at me as he crossed the room to sit in a chair near the closet. He took his time before finally speaking. “I assume this means our arrangement is no longer.” His voice was raw and rough as he spoke.

  My voice came out in a whisper as I replied, “Yes, Alex. The ‘with benefits’ portion of our arrangement is done.” I looked up at him and tears well
ed in my eyes as I took in his pained expression.

  “So, we’re done.” His voice was so soft, I could barely hear him.

  My head started to shake in protest. “No. We’re not. Just because we’re not sleeping together doesn’t mean that we aren’t still friends. Our relationship wasn’t about sex. We were friends first!”

  His words were hurtful when he spoke again. “Actually Paige, it was just about sex. You never let it be more than that, remember? Couldn’t let someone in and all that shit. I heard you when you said this asshole would own you. Are you together with him?!” He stood up suddenly and moved directly in front of me.

  My head dropped in my hands and shook back and forth. My mind wasn’t processing this situation well and the consequences of everything I could think of to say to him played itself out to disastrous results in my head. I raised my head slowly to look up at him. His body was tense and he looked straight ahead with his eyes closed as he waited for my answer.

  “I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about it, this is all so…”

  “Do you want to be with him as more than friends, Paige?!”

  I sighed. There was no easy way to do this. I went with the direct approach just to get it over with. “Yes. I would be with him as more if that is what he wanted.”

  His head dropped suddenly and I held my breath as I waited for him to respond. He looked up at me and the raw pain I discovered in his eyes disturbed me. I wanted to reach out to him, to take him in my arms and beg forgiveness, but I couldn’t force myself to move.

  “Why him, Paige? From what I heard you telling David, this guy is treating you like an object; like something that he can use and toss aside at his leisure and you are allowing him to do just that. It’s everything you’ve always said you were against. What is it about him that is making you change who you are? I don’t even know who I’m looking at right now. I mean, I see my friend, Paige, sitting in front of me, but I have no idea who the fuck you are!” He paused to reign in his anger. “I love you, Paige, and I would never treat you the way that asshole is treating you.” His voice quivered on those last words and I could tell he was holding back what he was saying.