Reap

  I’d hurt her.

  I never wanted to hurt her. But my head. I couldn’t control my head. I couldn’t stop the pain.

  Feeling the bed dip, I froze when Talia’s soft hand smoothed across my chest. I kept my head down as her finger traced over my identity tattoo. 221 … 221 … 221 … I was 221.

  I sucked in a breath. I knew who 221 was.

  He was a killer.

  He was Master’s killer.

  He was the man that lived in chains and darkness.

  But Talia called me Zaal. I did not know who Zaal was. A man freed from Master, a man with unexplained dreams and nightmares. The man who craved to be near Talia.

  But there was more.

  I could feel there was more, more to know, to understand.

  Hearing Talia inhale a long breath, I felt her fingertip run along my knee. I raised my head. Talia was staring at my tattoo, then her glassy eyes drifted to meet mine.

  I lifted my finger, and ran it over the smooth skin of her arm. “Who am I, Talia?” I asked, my voice broken. “Who is ‘Zaal’? I don’t know who he is.” I breathed in through my nose and pressed my hands against my head. “It causes me pain. I am in pain.”

  Talia’s face contorted as though she was in pain too. But she finally nodded as if she had decided something, and moved to the table beside her bed. She picked up the object she called a phone.

  Her back curled inward and I saw it shaking. Then suddenly she spoke. “Luka,” she said quietly, “I need you to come here now, and bring Kisa with you. It’s Zaal. He’s ready.”

  * * *

  Talia sat on the seat beside me. Her hands were fidgeting in her lap. She was nervous. I took a deep breath as we stared out of the windows, the sea waves crashing against the shore. I closed my eyes listening to those waves, imagining my feet in the cold sand, the breeze wrapping around my body and the sun shining on my face.

  My eyes snapped open as I instantly thought of my dream. The boy laying in grass, his brother beside him. I shook my head from the memory. If I thought too hard the pain would return.

  Talia shuffled beside me and I turned to her. “Why are you nervous?” I asked. Talia stilled and her brown eyes looked to me.

  “I’m waiting for my brother and his wife to get here. They should arrive any minute.” Talia then looked up and met the gazes of her guards. The men were looking at her back, concerned.

  The guards did not like me. They would stare at me with narrowed eyes and curled lips. I didn’t give a fuck. I didn’t like them either. They were guards. All guards I had ever met were weak and unfeeling. They punished for their own enjoyment.

  Though they seemed to like Talia. They tried to protect her. From what, I did not know. She never talked about her life with me. She never told me anything. I realized that since she had freed me from the basement we hadn’t talked of much at all. We had fucked. I’d held her in my arms, but not much else.

  I didn’t understand why.

  I opened my mouth to ask Talia again why her brother freed me. Just as I did, a bell sounded. I lurched forward at the sound and the guards left the room.

  When Talia and I were left alone, I reached for her arm and turned her to face me. I narrowed my eyes. “You are afraid. Why?”

  Talia’s eyes darted to the side. Unable to stand it, I picked her up and placed her on my lap. I placed my palms on her cheeks and made her look up. Her bottom lip trembled. Unwilling to see her upset, I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers. She whimpered into my mouth, her hands wrapping into my hair. Pulling away, I held her against me, the heat in her cheeks warming my palm.

  “Talia—”

  “Talia?”

  I jerked at a male voice calling her name and jumped to my feet. I eyed up the male standing before me. He looked familiar. His hair, his eyes, his build.

  The male glared at Talia. My hands fisted at my sides. My chest rose and fell. Suddenly, a female entered the room. Her eyes looked to me, then the man, and finally to Talia.

  The female’s eyes widened when Talia’s hand fell on my arm. The male’s eyes narrowed and his head tilted to the side.

  Why did I know him?

  “Zaal,” Talia’s soft voice called. I pulled my gaze from the male’s stare to look into her face. She lifted onto her toes and pressed her hand against my face. She looked pale and my heart dropped. I didn’t understand why she was so worried. I didn’t understand what I’d done wrong.

  “This is my brother, Luka.” Talia pointed at the male who had been glaring. “He’s the person who freed you,” she explained.

  My eyes widened. My attention was naturally drawn back to the male. Talia’s fingers stroked down my cheek. I moved my gaze back to her. “Zaal, my brother, Luka, he is like you.”

  I frowned and Talia edged closer. She placed her other hand on my cheek, cupping my face. I leaned in to press a kiss to her lips. I could feel her lips trembling. Her hands were shaking on my cheeks, but I felt every part of that kiss. Felt her intense sadness.

  She was sad for me.

  My stomach sank. It was as if her kiss was telling me that something bad was about to happen. As Talia broke away, she ran her hand down my neck, over my chest and down to grip my hand. Feeling eyes watching, Talia turned us to face her brother.

  Talia brought us forward. Every cell in my body was alert as the man stared at me. He was dressed in a shirt and pants like Master. He looked like Master. The female behind him, the female with the bright blue eyes moved closer to the male who looked like Master.

  Talia brought us to a long seat and urged me to sit. I followed her lead, but my eyes never left the male. He was tall, broad, and strong. He had scars on his face and arms. I looked down at my arms. They were like mine.

  Talia’s brother and the female slowly sat on the seat opposite us. The room was filled with tension and silence. It made me want to get up and leave.

  The male watched me, then turned to Talia. “How long?”

  I tensed when the question came from his lips. Talia flushed red and bowed her head. “Awhile.”

  The male’s face hardened and his jaw clenched. “And you didn’t think to tell me?”

  Talia was silent. The finger wrapped around mine tightened. The female next to her reached over and got the male’s attention. She shook her head at him. The male’s eyes focused back on me. His hard eyes flickered to Talia, but not for long.

  I pulled on Talia’s hand and her head lifted. Brown eyes met mine and I stroked my free hand down her face to make sure she was okay. Talia cast me a small smile and turned back to her brother.

  “Luka,” she said quietly, her voice timid as though she was afraid of what he might say, “Zaal has been free of the drug for weeks. He has been gaining strength each day.” Her eyes fell, then fluttered nervously back up. “That’s why he is out of the basement. He changed when the drug left him. I have … I’ve been caring for him.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I’ve been with him.”

  Talia glanced up at me and brought our joined hands to her mouth, her lips pressing a kiss to the back of my hand.

  “Talia,” the female opposite whispered as though she was shocked, attracting my attention. She smiled sadly at her friend and then smiled across at me. But I watched the male. I watched his unmoving expression.

  “Luka,” Talia said, her voice suddenly seeming more powerful than before, “I asked you to come here today because Zaal has started having dreams, flashes of people and pictures he can’t explain. He wants to know why you freed him from Jakhua. He wants to know where he’s from. He wants to know who he is.” Talia’s voice never wavered, and she added, “I know some, but not much. I thought this would be best coming from you. That’s why I called you here today. It wasn’t for any other reason.”

  Her steely gaze lay upon her brother, and I felt my chest swell with pride that she was by my side. “I didn’t want to get anything wrong. It’s important he hears it correctly. The whole truth, from someone who was there fo
r part of it.”

  My hot blood pumped in my veins as I listened to Talia speak, then it froze to ice, my lungs squeezing all air from my chest.

  … he wants to know why you freed him from Jakhua. He wants to know where he’s from. He wants to know who he is.…

  Talia’s brother rose from his seat. He walked toward us. Talia squeezed my hand so tightly that, for a moment, I thought she might fear her brother. Rage spiked in my blood at the thought of him taking her from me. I jumped to my feet.

  I was taller than her brother.

  Bigger.

  I had size, but there was no fear in his eyes as he fixed his attention on me. My muscles tensed as he approached. One thought controlled me: protect Talia.

  “Get back,” I snarled as he approached.

  But he didn’t. He just kept coming. I braced on my feet and ignored Talia’s nervous breathing behind me. My head lowered in anticipation of the strike. Suddenly, staring me right in the eyes, the man ripped off his shirt, threw it to the ground, and halted only feet away.

  My body couldn’t move, too overcome by the picture before me.

  818. His chest read 818. His tattoo, his identity ink, just like mine.

  The man lifted his hand and traced his number with his finger. “I am like you,” he said roughly. He took a step closer. “I was taken from my family as a child and forced into a gulag. I was made to fight against my will. Pumped full of drugs until I felt nothing but rage. Injected with more drugs to forget my home, my family. I lived only to kill. I was trained to maim, to slaughter, to annihilate. I was Raze, a champion death-match fighter. I was 818. I was death.”

  I swayed on my feet. Never had I met anyone like me. Never had I met another with this tattoo who wasn’t a slave girl.

  A shot of pain pierced my head and my hands gripped the side of my skull. A number pushed through to my mind, but I could not make out what it was 2 … 3 … 6 … no, it was scrambled, it was—

  “Shh…,” Talia soothed, her hand running up my chest. I cracked open one eye and flinched at the bright light of the sun.

  I wrapped Talia in my arms, gaining strength from her touch. I looked over her head at the man, at 818, and asked, “A gulag? I do not know what that is.”

  Darkness swept over his face. “It is an underground prison. We were kept in cells, like you. Chained up, like you. We were forced to learn how to fight to the death, like you. The only way to survive was to win our matches. I won all mine. And I survived. I got free.”

  The male swallowed as he said this. Something made him step back. I pressed my hand on my chest. “I am free now?”

  He nodded. “I came and freed you from your Master, Jakhua. You were on a drug they are selling. It makes you want to kill. It makes you angry, so angry that the only way to ease it is violence. You have been tested on by Jakhua since you were eight years old. Jakhua uses you as an example of how his drug works. He takes away your free will. On the serum, you do anything he asks of you. You kill anyone he commands, and forget anyone from your past.”

  My heart stuttered as I tried to understand what I was being told. “Eight years old,” I rasped. “A child?” The man nodded and Talia sniffed back tears. She cried, her head tucked against my stomach. My hand on her back tightened and I asked, “How old am I now?”

  “Twenty-nine,” Talia whispered from my hold. Her head lifted. “You are twenty-nine, Zaal. That man, that sick man you call ‘master’ has held you captive for over twenty years.”

  I staggered back. My legs hit the long seat behind me and I dropped down in disbelief. Over twenty years.

  My eyes closed as I pictured Master’s face. I thought of his short dark hair, his harsh brown eyes. I thought of his mouth, his hands, his fists. Too many fractured images raced through my head—screaming. I was screaming, my arms held out for someone. Blood. Blood, so much blood.

  And I felt rage. I felt a rage burn in me that I couldn’t explain.

  “What happened?” I asked coldly, and looked up to 818. “Why did you free me?”

  818 walked back to his seat and sat down. His shoulders sagged, but his dark eyes met mine and he asked, “Do you remember anything before you belonged to your master?”

  I shook my head, but remembered my dreams. Remembered the two boys that looked alike. The little girl. My eyes widened. The little girl tapping my face counting “one, two, three…”

  I lifted my hand to my face, to my left cheek and felt for the moles. Talia was suddenly before me, on her knees. She watched my hands. “Do you remember something, Zaal?”

  “One, two, three…,” I said, my eyes still picturing the little girl’s dark eyes and hair. Talia’s eyes narrowed in confusion, but as she moved my fingers from my face, her thumb stroked over that same spot.

  “Your three moles?” she asked.

  “One, two, three,” I murmured. I looked into her eyes. “Three of us walking. Two boys and a little girl.” I forced my mind to remember. I touched my long hair. “The boys had long black hair.” My breathing increased as I remembered. “They looked the same.”

  “Yes,” 818 confirmed. My eyes snapped up.

  “Who?” I grunted, my hands beginning to shake.

  818 swallowed and said, “Your brother, your twin brother, Anri.”

  I stared and stared as 818’s words carried into my mind.… your twin brother, Anri, your twin brother, Anri …

  I tried to remember but nothing else came. Frustration built in my chest. I barked, “Continue. I want more. I need to hear more.” Talia gripped my hand, but I couldn’t look at her. I needed to know more without distraction.

  “I knew him,” 818 suddenly said. “I knew your brother.”

  I stilled. “How?” I asked.

  “He was in the gulag, the Georgian underground prison, with me. He was the best fighter we had.” 818’s eyes misted with water and he rasped, “He was my best friend.”

  818’s face dropped as he spoke those last two words. Frustration built in my veins. “I do not remember him,” I snapped. “I do not remember knowing him.” I breathed through my nose. “What else?” I asked. “Tell me more.”

  818 lifted his head, took a deep breath, and said, “You are from Georgia, eastern Europe.”

  “Where are we now?”

  “We’re in the United States, zolotse. In New York.” I looked to Talia and my heart sank. Her beautiful eyes were staring up at me, her sadness shining through.

  “I do not know any of this, Talia. I cannot remember anything and it hurts.” I pressed my hand on my heart. “Inside of me feels empty.”

  “I know,” she soothed. Talia got to her feet and sat in my lap. Her palm pressed against my cheek and she pressed her lips to mine. As she pulled away, I took a long breath. “Let Luka tell you about your past. Your memories will return. Don’t force them, just let them return of their own accord.”

  Luka cleared his throat. “You were the prototype for the drug you have been on. Your memories are still within you, but it will take you time to get them all back.”

  “You know this?” I asked, my eyes noticing the many scars on his flesh.

  “I’m living it,” he replied, “and I was not on the same drug as you. Your drug was far worse, much more powerful.”

  My fingers clenched. My teeth started to grind at that information, but I nodded my head for Luka to continue.

  “You had a large family, Zaal. Two sisters and two brothers. You were the eldest, with your twin. You had a sister who was five, and a younger set of siblings, a baby girl and a baby boy.”

  I worked on breathing, though it was a challenge. “Go on,” I pushed.

  Luka continued. “Jakhua was a family friend, the boss of an allied Mafia family. Then one day, he came into your house…” Luka took a deep breath. My stomach tightened. I felt I should know this. I knew this piece of information was important.

  “Go on!” I bit out. Luka’s brown eyes met mine.

  “And he killed them all. Massacred yo
ur family, right in front of your eyes.”

  Talia went absolutely still and turned her face into my neck. I breathed in and out, in and out. No memory returned, but anger did. Anger for what Jakhua had done. For taking away my family.

  “He spared your lives, Zaal. Took you and your twin, Anri, with him to experiment on. He put you through test after test to see if the drug worked. Eventually after a few years, with you, it worked one hundred percent.” He left that hanging in the air.

  “And him, my brother?” I inquired.

  “Only partially. He would forget things for a time, but the drug never lasted long enough to take all his free will. Jakhua needed subjects with full obedience. He knew your brother wouldn’t give him that. So he sent him to the gulag, where I met him a few years later.”

  My muscles ached and I felt exhausted. I clutched on to Talia, praying for a memory, any flicker of my past. But I was numb. Nothing was there in my fucked-up mind.

  Talia, feeling me tense, stroked my skin, pressing kisses to my neck.

  “And my … my brother?” I asked. The room went completely silent. Luka dropped his head, ran his hand through his hair. He looked up and rasped, “He died recently. Died in a death-match cage. In a fight.”

  My chest squeezed. My cheek twitched. I waited for the pain of losing a sibling, but nothing came. It was like my brain had switched off.

  The female beside Luka laid her head on his shoulder, whispering in his ear. Luka turned into her touch and she kissed him on his cheek. Luka’s tired eyes met mine and I said, “You were there.”

  Luka nodded his head. “I made him a promise that I would seek revenge on his captors. We found out it was Jakhua, then we found out about you. I freed you because that is what Anri would have done if roles were reversed.” Luka’s eyes blazed with a sudden flare of fury. “And next I’ll kill Jakhua. I’ll get your brother his ultimate revenge.”

  I sat, staring at Luka. His female’s eyes were glistening as she watched me. I glanced down. Talia was curled against my chest, but her beautiful big eyes were studying me carefully. It was like she was waiting for me to break.