Push and Shove

  "Is he quitting? Is that why he’s staying home?"

  “He won’t talk to me right now.” Nathan rubbed his face, just under his tender eye, as if testing it out. The bell rang. The others got into motion. Nathan continued to look at me. He was as lost as I was right now.

  But why didn't they go to the Academy for help? This couldn’t continue.

  I wanted to ask, but North grabbed my hand, tugging me along to class. While walking, I was going over in my head how I could talk to Mr. Blackbourne about this. Maybe he already knew, but I felt I needed to say something.

  As soon as I was sitting in homeroom and the bell had rung again, the door to the classroom opened.

  Mr. Hendricks loomed in the doorway. He took one look at Mr. Ferguson and nodded to him. “I need Miss Sorenson, if you please.”

  Mr. Ferguson nodded and slipped a look at me that silently asked what I had done for the principal to come and fetch me himself.

  I rose and started to collect my book bag, when North caught my eye. The slight nod of his head toward the bag, and I dropped it on the floor again, leaving without it.

  When the door closed behind us and we were in the hallway, I hoped North or Luke would send a message to Mr. Blackbourne. I had my phone, but wasn’t sure if I could get a message to him.

  “Follow me,” Mr. Hendricks said.

  I wanted to decline. I wanted to run off. I had to tell myself again and again Mr. Hendricks wasn’t Mr. McCoy. Mr. McCoy was gone. I don’t know why I was so nervous now, but everyone was on edge, and now I did know something.

  That I knew who he was working with.

  I couldn’t shake off my need to escape. Maybe it was because I was tired and stressed and he had rattled me by coming for me, not giving me time to talk to anyone about what this might be about or to confirm someone was listening.

  “I’ve been meaning to get a hold of you for a while,” he said as we walked. His hands were behind his back and his face was taut, his forehead wrinkled compared to the smoothness of his shaved head. His scowl was prominent. “You weren’t in class yesterday.”

  Alarm seized me. Of course I wasn’t in class, but he wouldn’t have been notified, would he? He doesn’t track all the absent students in school. “No, I wasn’t,” I said, answering honestly and leaving it at that.

  “So you’re admitting to skipping class?”

  “I thought you wanted me to snoop on the Academy.”

  A graying eyebrow rose on his face. “Is that what was going on?”

  I hesitated, “I didn’t realize it would take so long that I’d be out of class. I’m sorry.”

  He held his palm up. “Hang on until we get to my office.”

  We bypassed the front desk. The secretaries and other administrators in the back giving me a suspicious glance.

  When we got to his office hallway, he hurried to his door and opened it.

  I started to enter, but stopped short.

  Marie sat in the same orange chair I usually sat in, a terrified look on her face.

  I questioned silently at what she was doing here. Her brown eyes narrowed at me, asking me what I could have said to get her into trouble.

  And if she thought she was in trouble, she’d say just about anything to get out of it. Pointing fingers was her specialty.

  “Have a seat, Miss Sang.” Mr. Hendricks side-stepped around me, dropping into his big wingback chair. He sat back, putting his elbows on the arm rests and folded his hands together.

  My lips clamped shut and I tugged an extra seat from the back wall closer to where Marie was sitting.

  Mr. Hendricks glanced between us, as if waiting. “Are you two not even going to say hello to each other? You are related, aren’t you?”

  “You called us down to have us tell each other hello?” Marie asked.

  “I thought it would be better if we all acted from the same page. Perhaps we have different interests, but we’re trying to reach the same goal, after all.”

  “I told you everything I know,” Marie said. “They sleep at my house. They eat my food. They try to tell me what to do. What else do you want?”

  My heart nearly exploded. She’d been telling him all of that?

  And then I realized how naïve I’d been. Of course she would. She hated the boys. She hated me. Was this why she didn’t want to come to school? Because Mr. Hendricks had been quizzing her, too? She knew this was coming?

  Mr. Hendricks made a pyramid with his hands, directing his pointer fingers toward me. “Is this true, Miss Sang? Are they staying at your house?”

  My lips glued shut, afraid to utter a syllable. I didn’t know how much he’d heard from Marie, but I didn’t want to admit to anything else.

  And part of me wondered if he already knew the truth, and he was using this somehow, manipulating us.

  “Perhaps I should talk to your mother,” Mr. Hendricks said, in a tone that said he was displeased with my silence. “She should be concerned about this.”

  “My mother isn’t home,” Marie said.

  “That’s fine. I’ve got your father’s cell phone number.”

  I glanced at Marie, who met my eyes. Our father never responded to any of my calls. If Mr. Hendricks couldn’t reach anyone, then what? Would Marie admit no one was home at all? I mean, that would make sense if the boys were able to come and go. Did she even realize what she was doing?

  Mr. Hendricks waited a few minutes with the phone receiver pressed to his ear after dialing. He stared right at me the whole time. I think he expected me to admit to something, but I didn’t know what to tell him.

  He perked up. “Mr. Sorenson? Hello, this is Principal Hendricks over at Ashley Waters High School.”

  My mouth fell open. I did my best to suppress it and not reveal my shock.

  My father had answered the principal’s phone call on the first try. He probably got all of our messages. He simply didn’t care to respond.

  My heart ached when I realized he hadn’t been too busy to help us or come to see us or even take our calls.

  “No, Mr. Sorenson,” Mr. Hendricks continued. “Don’t worry, your daughters are fine. I just wanted to let you know we had a little bit of a misunderstanding here. I’m afraid little Sang skipped a few classes yesterday. ... Oh, she said she felt ill, but if I fell for that excuse every time, I wouldn’t have any kids in class. I’m sure you understand that I should call. Well, I know it’s tough, but I just wanted to get it cleared up with you. I won’t issue a suspension this time, because I know she’s normally an excellent student. I just wanted to reach out to you.”

  I shoved my hands down into my lap to hide them. I kept stealing glances at Marie, pleading with her not to say anything more. We were already in enough trouble.

  Mr. Hendricks hung up the phone. He looked at us both and pointed to the receiver. “Don’t make me call him back,” he said. “I want answers.”

  “I can’t tell you anything else,” Marie said. She shoved a finger toward my face. “She’s friends with them. Ask her. I don’t know anything about Mr. McCoy. I don’t know where the Academy is. If I did, I’d tell you.”

  Mr. Hendricks directed his attention to me. “Is there something you want to add to this?”

  My jaw locked. I had a distinct urge to curl up and not say anything, as crazy as that would have looked. But not saying anything at all would have been like a beam of light on me, telling him I had plenty to hide. I didn’t know what to offer him.

  But Mr. Hendricks had reached his tipping point, and he wanted answers. He suspected I knew more than I was telling him, and this was his way of making sure I’d tell him everything.

  Before I could come up with a response, Mr. Hendricks stood up. “Perhaps you two need a moment. I’ll let you borrow my office. Why don’t you figure out what you want to tell me, and I’ll come back when you’re ready.”

  . I knew this was a ruse; there were cameras in here. Some were planted by Mr. Blackbourne. Were the others hooked up and wired so h
e’d listen in? Karen had said he was watching his office.

  Mr. Hendricks went to the door, opening it. “I’ll give you ten minutes. If I don’t get the truth, I’ll be calling your father back and I’ll be telling him a lot of things you don’t want him to hear.”

  The door shut behind him, and to me it may as well have been a coffin lid closing.

  The moment he was gone, my hand flew to the cup of my bra. The coffee from that morning woke up every nerve ending inside of me, and my panic was the fuse setting it all off. I didn’t care that cameras might be on. I needed someone to tell me what to do.

  But I didn’t have to type a word, because Mr. Blackbourne had already sent messages to me.

  Blackbourne: Remember what I taught you.

  Blackbourne: I’m with you. I’m listening.

  Blackbourne: If you’re not sure what he wants to know, ask him.

  Blackbourne: And no matter what, you’ll be with us.

  My heart swelled and those once lit-up nerves ceased. His words were all I needed.

  “What are you doing?” Marie barked at me. “We’re in enough trouble here, and you’re using your cell phone in school.”

  “We’re a little beyond that right now,” I said carefully. I was about to put the cell phone away when the screen illuminated again with an incoming message.

  Blackbourne: Negotiate with her if you can.

  “I’m not getting expelled because of you,” Marie said. “They’ll make us bus out to another school, probably more screwed up than this one.”

  I didn’t want to remind her that she was the one trying to skip school all the time. I put my phone away. I did need to talk to her, but didn’t know where to begin.

  Over the years, Marie and I had done a lot of negotiating. She wanted keys to the house so she could escape, and I gave them to her. If she needed money, I was the one that either asked or snuck around the house finding what I could for her. If I didn’t, she found ways to get me into trouble. I was young and gullible and believed when she pretended to want to get along with me. The only way I managed to get on her good side before was giving in to things she told me she wanted.

  What did she want now? I needed her on my side this time, even if only for the moment.

  “I know you don’t like the boys in the house,” I said carefully. I tried to bring up things Mr. Hendricks probably already knew, hoping Mr. Blackbourne would direct me if I said anything wrong. “And I know you don’t like me staying there.”

  Marie rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest, sitting back in the chair. “Whatever. You think this is all about you. As always.”

  “What?”

  “You’re so stupid. And I can’t believe everyone talks about you.” She shook her head, pursing her lips for a moment and staring at the wall like she didn’t want to talk. She sneered and then looked back at me. “You know, I wouldn’t even be in this stupid office or in trouble if it wasn’t for you. My mother’s in a hospital somewhere and I don’t know where she is. My dad won’t come back because you’re around.”

  Internally, I groaned, hoping Mr. Hendricks wasn’t watching. That was more than I wanted him to know about. “He won’t come because he chose not to,” I said. “We tried calling—”

  “If you think you’re staying around because you’re helping me, forget it. I can take care of myself.” With that, she pulled a debit card from her pocket.

  I stared at it for a long time, and her mother’s name was on the outside. Perhaps that was why she was in our parents’ bedroom and told me to stay out. That was why there was cash in her drawer. She never told me?

  I blinked at her, and my hands clenched reflexively. “For how long?”

  Marie shrugged. “About a week after he left.”

  “There’s money in that account?” I asked. “How are you getting to it? Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Why should I? You would’ve had those moochers in the house eating our food, using our utilities. One’s already practically moved in.”

  Nathan. “We were alone,” I said. “And they’ve paid for groceries for weeks. They mow the lawn. And they’ve been looking after us.”

  “I can do those things. They’re using you, stupid. They walk around the house like they own it, and we owe them something for letting them say. Mom would have a fit. I can’t even tell her about it. I can’t even call around to find her.”

  I sat back, exhaling slowly. I’d forgotten to ask the boys about this, a simple request, because of everything else going on. “I can ask,” I said quietly. “And I didn’t know you felt so strongly before. You never said anything. They were helping.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Like I want to be stuck here with you and those idiots walking through my house. And it’s my house.” She pointed to her chest with her fingers. “Mine. You don’t have any right to it. And you act like you own it and you’re in charge. Trying to tell me how to do things.”

  “I was worried about you,” I said honestly. “Especially since the last I saw you, you were passed out.”

  She rolled her eyes. “The hospital gave us an IV and then asked a lot of questions, and shooed us out the door. Like I needed that. If you would have let us sleep it off, we would have been fine.”

  “Do you even know what happened to you?”

  “None of your business,” she said. “And it wouldn’t have even happened if you would just go away.”

  “How was it my fault?” It seemed ludicrous. I didn’t force drugs into her system.

  “We couldn’t even throw a party without mentioning you,” she said, nearly seething. “No one wanted to come when we mentioned a party that night. Not until Danielle thought to mention it was at your house. Then suddenly everyone wanted to be there. If it was Sang’s party then everyone showed up.”

  “Oh no,” I said, sitting up. Was that true? I couldn’t imagine the rumors flying since the party. But what did this have to do with her being drugged? Is that where she got the drugs? “I can’t believe...”

  “But they know me now,” she said, the smirk growing. “I’m out from under your shadow. Now if I can only get rid of you, things would be perfect.”

  Perfect? She thought getting drugged and passing out, almost dying, was perfect?

  And what sort of lie had I been living with her? I helped to clean up after her messes, the boys, too. Did she not appreciate any of the effort we made? She had to be crazy to think this was what she wanted. To live alone in a house and to take care of all those things herself? Danielle only pushed her for parties and use of the house. If other people caught on, she’d be used for the house, too. She was willing to be used just to get attention?

  But Mr. Blackbourne’s messages came back to me again. Like he knew this was coming.

  And no matter what, you’ll be with us.

  I would be with them. Maybe I was clinging to the idea that this was my sister, and for some reason I still needed to be there for her. Instead, she felt intruded upon by the boys, and that I was the cause of all these problems.

  Wasn’t it true? Wasn’t I the reason why she was in the principal’s office in the first place? She didn’t know the boys. She had no idea what was going on.

  She shouldn’t have to know. She should do normal teenager things and not have to worry about what I did. She had a mother, even if she was sick. She had school, even if she didn’t like it, but that was normal, too. I was a problem because I brought the Academy with me.

  “Marie,” I said carefully again. “Maybe you’re right.”

  She raised an eyebrow, casting me a suspicious glare.

  “You’re right,” I said again. “This is my fault. But if I get you out of this mess, I have to have your word that you’ll do what I ask. I’ll try to make sure no one will bother you anymore. And ... and I’ll find a way to move out as soon as I can.”

  “You can move in with those boys,” she said. “Danielle told me Nathan’s dad was never home. Go over there.”
r />   “I will,” I said, unsure if this was the type of negotiation Mr. Blackbourne was talking about, but it was the only thing she wanted. Not that I could move in with Nathan, but that I had to go somewhere. Where, I don’t know, but this was the only card in my deck. “But you can’t tell anyone else I’ve moved out, and you’ll have to tell dad, if he does ever call, I’m still around because he wanted me to stay with you.”

  “Fine,” she said.

  “And I may need to come back some nights,” I said, trying to cover all the bases. “I’ll do whatever I can not to. But I’m still only sixteen, so if it looks like I need to lay low, I need a place to stay. And we can’t let the police know, because they’ll bring me back and look in on us, which means you can’t throw parties and have the police show up. Or do drugs that draw attention to you.”

  She nodded slowly. “The drugs weren’t my idea,” she said. “But I don’t like them.”

  I couldn’t imagine she did. I wasn’t sure if it had been her first experience, but I couldn’t imagine doing something like that and waking up in a hospital. “If you can work with me, I’ll do my best to stay out of your hair. Are you sure you can get groceries and won’t need anything?”

  “Danielle is getting a car,” she said. “And Derrick said he’d help. They’ll teach me how to drive, and dad promised to buy a car as soon as I have a license.”

  I hadn’t realized Derrick had talked to her about this, or if he fully knew what was going on, but there was some comfort in knowing Derrick would be looking out for her. I didn’t know if I should encourage her to stay friends with him, because I thought if I did, she might do the opposite.

  “If I do this,” I said. I met the full stare of her brown eyes, catching the anger and sorrow she must have kept to herself all this time. “You can’t tell anyone. We have to keep it a secret. And you can’t talk about the boys to anyone. No one will understand.”

  “Why don’t you just apply to this Academy?” she asked. “Why not go to that school? Then you won’t have to worry about it. Get that teacher to give you a scholarship.”

  I nodded slowly, not wanting to turn away her idea. “Maybe...” I couldn’t promise her one way or another, because I wasn’t sure that was possible. “But in the meantime, Dad wanted me to stay, so if he’s on the way back, you’ll have to let me know so I can be there when he shows up. I can give you my number and the boys’ numbers if you do need anything.”