Nothing Left to Lose

Page 106
Author: Kirsty Moseley

Security had been immense. Police on motorbikes lined the streets, secret service were out in abundance too, issuing commands and checks through their ear pieces. I’d never seen so many guns all in one place.

Cameras buzzed and flashed everywhere, people stood and watched, soldiers lined up to salute and show their respect to their new commander and chief. The whole thing had been mind-blowing, and although I’d seen previous Presidents sworn into office on the TV, it was different being part of it and actually knowing the man that was going to lead his country for the next four years. An immense pride had swelled inside me as he’d been bestowed the title. Anna’s hand had tightened in mine as she watched with wide eyes and an even wider smile. She looked so proud of him that she was practically bouncing on the spot. Melissa was even worse and had a hankie at the ready, dabbing under her eyes as she cried happy tears.

As he’d stood at the podium and given his speech, people had listened, enraptured, and transfixed with every word. He certainly had the heart of the nation behind him and, to me, it was a momentous occasion, just to say that I was there the day that President Spencer was sworn into office.

Then there was the parade where people cheered as we all walked behind her parents. Afterwards, we’d all been led into the White House and given a tour of the private residence. Anna, being given her choice of bedrooms for when she stayed here in the school holidays, chose a blue room that overlooked the grounds at the back. The whole time we’d wandered around, my heart had been in my throat because of the sheer luxury and intricacy of the building.

After spending a few hours with Anna, getting lost within the corridors, secret passages and large expansive rooms, we’d finally had to leave to catch our flight back to Arizona, leaving her parents to go through the motions of the rest of the ceremonies and galas that were scheduled over the whole week. The Spencers’ goodbye had been a teary one, especially on Melissa’s part who hadn’t managed to contain her emotions all day long.

By the time we arrived back at our apartment, we were both exhausted and fell into bed without even unpacking our bags.

Chapter Forty-Two

The next three weeks before Carter’s trial seemed to pass in a blur. Thankfully, and quite rightly, the press were now more interested in President Spencer than they were me and Anna – though the gossip magazines still chose to feature us both on a regular basis.

Security had tightened around Anna now that the trial was so close. I’d already pulled Dean and Peter in closer as a precaution.

Anna herself had changed slightly in the last couple of weeks. As the trial drew nearer, she became a little flaky and kept going off into her own little world, often completely oblivious to everything around her. Her school work was suffering, deadlines were being missed, but luckily her professors were already going easy on her because of who her father was. For the last two days, Anna had barely eaten anything, barely spoken, and I’d almost forgotten what her smile looked like. But, true to her word, she hadn’t shut me out. We’d spoken numerous times about the trial and what would happen. Although she’d been quieter, and was clearly suffering inside, she hadn’t had the breakdown yet that I was sure would come. I’d been keeping a close eye on her, even to the point of checking her arms while she slept to make sure that she’d not been hurting herself, but thankfully, she hadn’t.

The day before the trial was due to start, the prosecution lawyer paid us another visit, again reassuring her that she shouldn’t be called into court. He’d predicted that the retrial would last no longer than a week and then it would all be over. She’d just nodded politely the whole time, holding my hand in a vice-like grip that almost cut off the circulation in my fingers.

That night, we finally went to bed. That seemed to be where most of her talking was done. It was almost as if she waited for the lights to go off or something. I figured it was easier for her to talk about it when no one was looking at her.

As she scooted over to me and set her head on my chest, I wrapped my arms around her tightly. “Are you okay, Baby Girl?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah, I’m good,” she whispered.

Frowning into the darkness, I rolled to the side and tangled one hand into the back of her hair, holding her securely against me. “Everything’s going to be fine tomorrow,” I assured her, dipping my head and kissing her cheek softly. That did it, the floodgates finally opened and she burst into tears.

I stroked her hair, knowing that there was nothing I could say or do to make her feel better as she sobbed uncontrollably onto my chest. Her whole body hitched and shook as her tears pooled on my skin and her breathing came out in ragged gasps. Her fingers dug into my back, clutching me closer to her as she cried her heart out.

After almost an hour of heart breaking sobs, she finally drifted off to sleep in my arms. I already knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep well tonight. Anger simmered inside me as all I could think about was the photos that I’d seen in her file. The bruises and broken bones that had been documented on the day that she’d been rescued flashed before my eyes. I felt sick. I rolled onto my back, keeping one arm around her, and then I just lay there, staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours before I fell into a restless sleep.

I woke early in the morning. It was only just after six. Anna was stretched out across my chest, still sound asleep. It made a change for her to be lying on me instead of the other way around. I trailed my fingers up and down her back, enjoying her closeness. This week was going to kill me. Seeing her upset like that every day was going to be pain like I’d never experienced. I lay there, watching her for another hour until she stirred, scooting closer to me and making a little sleepy groaning sound as she kissed my chest softly. When she tilted her head up, I saw that her eyes were a little bloodshot and slightly puffy from crying for so long.

I reached out and brushed her hair from her face. “Morning, Baby Girl,” I greeted, smiling sadly.

Her eyes flicked away from me as a subtle blush crept over her face. “I’m sorry I cried all over you last night, Ashton. I’m so pathetic. ” She ground her teeth and frowned as she absentmindedly traced my belly button with one finger.

I closed my eyes and shook my head at her. She truly was absurd sometimes. “You’re not pathetic, and I don’t care if you cry all over me, Anna. I want to be here for you,” I promised.

She hugged me fiercely and made a strangled sound in the back of her throat. “You know, I’m going to miss you so much when you leave. ” Her voice was husky and full of emotion.

I frowned at her statement. “Leave? Where am I going?” I didn’t have any planned trips or anything.

She smiled sadly. “When you leave, when your assignments done. You’re only guarding me until after the trial is finished,” she explained, rolling off me and lying close to my side.

That was true. My assignment was due to finish just a couple of weeks after Carter’s trial ended, which potentially meant that I could have a new job in just three short weeks’ time. I smiled sheepishly because I didn’t intend for that to happen and had planned on speaking to her about it. It looked like now was going to be that time, seeing as she brought it up first. “I wanted to talk to you about that, actually,” I admitted.

“Yeah?” she chewed on her lip as if she was trying to hold herself together.

I nodded, swallowing my nerves, knowing that the time had come for me to finally admit my feelings for her. “Yeah. I was thinking, once I’m not your guard anymore, I could request an assignment near your school. ” I watched her face to see what she truly thought.

A confused frown lined her forehead as she looked up at me. “Here? Why?”

I chuckled awkwardly because she just had no idea of the power that she had over me. Now I just had to suck it up and bite the bullet. It was now time for me to tell her that I loved her and pray that she didn’t freak out.

“Well, I want to stay here with you. I was wondering if I get an assignment here, maybe we could still live together?” I suggested hopefully.

She gasped and shook her head, looking extremely angry. I winced immediately, scolding myself. She obviously wasn’t ready for me to be getting this heavy with her. I should have waited another couple of weeks.

“I’m not some charity case, Ashton! God, you need to chill out, for goodness’ sake! Other agents can look after me, you know,” she cried angrily as she pushed herself up, about to get out of bed. I groaned. Again, she thinks I’m only interested in her safety. Why can’t she see that I’m head over heels for her? I grabbed her hand before she could get out of the bed. “Get off, Ashton! Seriously, I’m really annoyed with you. You think other people can’t look after me so you have to stay here and babysit me, even when it’s not your job anymore?” she spat, struggling to pull her hand from my tight grip.

I tugged on her hand, making her fall down onto the bed beside me before I rolled so that I was half hovering over her. “Anna, calm down! Jeez, let me explain, will you?” I pleaded desperately. She sighed and a muscle in her jaw twitched angrily as she narrowed her eyes but stopped struggling. Nerves were making me feel sick. “I’m not worried about your safety, well actually that’s not true, I’ll always be worried about your safety. But that’s not the reason I want to stay here. ” I begged her with my eyes to hear me out before she had whatever panic attack she was going to have. One of her eyebrows rose in prompt, clearly not believing a word of what I was saying. I took a deep breath. Please God, please don’t let her freak out. “I want to stay here with you, I… I…” I stuttered. Wow, the words are hard to say when you didn’t know how they’re going to be received.

“What? Just spit it out!” she snapped angrily.

I fought a smile. I loved it when she was feisty. “I love you, Anna. ” The anger faded from her face to be replaced by shock. Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes widened as she looked at me. I nodded and smiled, watching it slowly sink in. “I’ve fallen so in love with you that it’s unreal. Honestly, I want to stay here with you because I love you more than anything in the world,” I explained, biting on the inside of my cheek, waiting for her to react.