Nothing Left to Lose

Page 41
Author: Kirsty Moseley

“Ashton? How is it going to be hard for you? What are you talking about?” she asked, interrupting my examination of her legs.

I closed my eyes and willed myself to calm down downstairs. “You’re gonna get hit on a lot today,” I admitted.

She turned back and held out a glass of apple juice to me, making her bangles jingle as she moved. I smiled down at them weakly. I’d noticed that whenever she wore short sleeves, she always wore something on her wrists, covering up the scar from her suicide attempt and the various other small scars on her wrist where she had obviously self-harmed at some point in her life.

When she boosted herself up onto the kitchen counter, my body moved of its own accord. I stepped closer to her, setting myself between her legs. Her minty breath blew across my face as her breathing started to speed up. Her eyes widened a fraction as I leant in closer.

“With you looking like this, I may have to kiss you a fair few times today,” I warned. I kept my eyes trained on hers, watching for her reaction as I reached out and traced the line of her cheekbone with one finger.

Her breath seemed to catch in her throat as she nodded slightly. “If you think that’s necessary,” she replied, not taking her eyes from mine.

I could feel the passion building between us and I knew she could feel it too because of the way she was looking at me. That look made the hair on the nape of my neck stand on end. There was no denying that she was attracted to me too, but she didn’t like the fact that she was, I knew that for sure.

“With you looking like this, Baby Girl, I think it’s going to be very, very necessary. ” My voice was so husky and thick with lust that it was almost embarrassing.

Her knees tightened around my h*ps as her gaze flicked down to my lips. All I could envision was pressing my lips to hers and tasting her again as I pressed every inch of my body against hers. Before anything could happen though and I could act on what my instincts were telling me to do, there was a knock at the door. My heart sank because I knew that the intimate moment was over. I seriously needed to get a grip on myself.

“That’ll be Dean,” I whispered, not taking my eyes from hers. “Are you ready to go?”

She blinked a couple of times as if coming out of a daze, and then nodded, clenching her teeth together. It was almost as if she was mentally scolding herself for allowing me close to her or something. She did that a lot after we’d almost had a ‘moment’.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” she confirmed. “Do you have your iPod? You’ll need it. ”

~ Anna ~

As the rental car headed towards the school, I could still feel the residual ebb of the sexual tension from the apartment. I had no idea how he did it, but one smouldering look from Ashton seemed to reduce me to a needy, quivering mess.

I flicked my eyes over to him, trying to be discreet as I watched the way his muscles tensed in his arms while he drove. He looked particularly irresistible today. He was wearing blue again – I liked him in blue. My teeth sank into my bottom lip as a thousand lustful thoughts of him seemed to hit me at once. Clear as day, I could remember the feel of his skin under my hands, the taste of his tongue, and the sensations that his lips created with the smallest of kisses. A wistful sigh escaped my lips as I forced my eyes away from him, looking out of the windshield instead. I needed to stop this because it wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair on Jack for me to keep lusting after another man.

After another five minutes, we pulled into the campus parking lot. Ashton turned to me. His eyes were stern and warning, just as they had been this morning when we’d discussed the rules of him guarding me. “Wait there for me to come around and get you. You stay with me at all times. ”

I nodded in agreement, trying to keep my breathing steady. This was my last attempt at school because I wasn’t going to start over again. I was really going to try hard this time, just like I’d promised Jack I would. Hopefully, Ashton would make that possible with all the changes that he’d made to my usual routine.

As he opened my door for me, I took a deep breath and took his offered hand, closing my fingers around his tightly. He smiled reassuringly. “You’ll be fine,” he whispered, pulling me to my feet gently. “This’ll be fun, and I’ll look after you. You trust me, don’t you?” he asked, bending his knees so that his emerald green eyes met mine.

An involuntary smile tugged at the corner of my lips. “I trust you with my life, Ashton. ” That was the honest truth. He was the only one that made me feel safe, but I didn’t know why, there was just something about him that told me that I could put my faith in him.

A dazzling, proud grin spread across his face as his arm slipped around my shoulder, pulling me to him as he guided me across the parking lot and towards the large campus building in front of us. As we walked past people, I pressed against his side, trying to melt into him as inquisitive glances were cast in our direction. The tension was practically radiating off him in droves as he discreetly surveyed the area. Dean was doing the same thing about a hundred yards off to my right. I smiled because no one was paying the slightest bit of attention to my far guard, which meant that maybe the undercover thing would work here like Ashton kept assuring me.

A group of girls fell silent as we walked passed, all of them eyeing Ashton like he was their next meal. “You could get a lot of action here, Pretty Boy,” I teased, shaking my head in awe. He wasn’t even trying, yet it looked like girls were willing to throw themselves at his feet.

His forehead creased with a frown as he shook his head. “I’m not interested in any of these girls, Anna. ” His tone was a little brisk, as if I should have known better or something. He opened the door to the building and pulled me inside with him. “Come on then, let’s get to our first class,” he whispered, guiding me down the hallways as if he knew exactly where he was going.

“Don’t we need to go to the office first? How do you even know where our first class is?” I asked, confused. Usually I had to book in at the office and someone gave me a tour of the school before showing me the way to my classes.

“They sent me everything already, and I spoke to the dean this morning while you were getting dressed. Plus, I have the map, remember? You know, the one I was looking at this morning when you said I was taking this too far,” he mocked, smirking at me.

I laughed, slipping my arm around his waist. “Okay, I guess your memory will come in handy for finding our way around then. ”

He stopped walking, pulling me to a stop too. “Wow, that’s almost an apology. ”

More people were watching us now. I shook my head in rejection. “No it wasn’t, I don’t do apologies very often,” I denied, shrugging and narrowing my eyes at him teasingly.

He grinned, cupping my face gently as he stepped closer to me, so close that my skin prickled with sensation. “Oh, I know that,” he purred as his mouth closed over mine, claiming my lips in a kiss that made my tummy flutter with excitement.

Waves of desire crashed over me; they were so powerful that I was surprised we were still standing. I moaned in the back of my throat and wrapped my arms tight around his neck, trying to get closer to him, tangling my fingers in his soft hair. When he nibbled on my lip, wanting to deepen the kiss, I kissed him with everything I had in me. The passion from the kitchen was spilling over as he ran his hands down my back, gripping fistfuls of my shirt, clamping me to him. A small moan escaped his lips that set my heart soaring.

I wanted him. I needed him. When Ashton’s mouth was on my body, everything felt right and whole again, like all of that awful stuff with Carter hadn’t happened. But the kiss didn’t seem enough for me, I wanted more. I wanted him to lavish attention on my body like he had done that one time at my parent’s house. I wanted him to make me feel like that special, beautiful girl that he looked at with those sultry eyes that shone with desire. My whole body ached for it.

By the time he pulled away, my head was spinning with need. He pressed his forehead against mine, still holding me against him as our breathing slowed to normal. His eyes that met mine were dancing with excitement too. He looked like he was fighting for control. I could see the conflict across his face; he wanted to drag me to the nearest supply closet too, just like I was silently envisioning.

“What was that for?” I whispered, raising my chin and brushing my nose against his softly.

He swallowed loudly as his hand slid down my back, coming to rest on the small of my back. “Just wanted everyone here to know that you’re mine. ”

Mine. The word made a shiver of something run down my spine as I pressed myself closer to him. “Why don’t you just take me against the wall or something then with everyone watching?” I joked.

A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth as he dipped his head towards mine. “Gladly. ” His lips met mine again, and I sagged against him in contentment. The kiss didn’t deepen though, it was just a little chaste kiss before he stepped back and ran his hand down my arm, taking my hand and interlacing our fingers. “We should get to class before we’re late. ”

I swallowed the lust that had built inside me and nodded in agreement, letting him give me a gentle, little tug to get me moving again. Now that I was out of the little bubble that he seemed to create around me, I could see people watching us again. Clearly, being new and having a major make-out session in the middle of the hallway was drawing peoples’ interest. As we walked, I tried my best to ignore the stares and whispers. I cringed into Ashton’s side as a couple of guys let their eyes wander over me just that little too long.

Finally, after lots of twists and turns, he stopped outside a classroom. I peeked in, seeing people already sitting on desks, chatting amongst themselves as they waited for lessons to start. The teacher was perched on the edge of her desk, sipping coffee. I scanned her, making my estimations of how good she would be. She was thin and wearing all black and her brown hair, flecked with the occasional grey, was pulled back into a severe ponytail. If I had to guess, I would put her at mid-fifties. She looked friendly enough, and just the right amount of eccentric to teach art at college.