Nothing Left to Lose

Page 49
Author: Kirsty Moseley

I frowned angrily at myself. What the heck was wrong with me? Why was I so jealous? I wanted to wait outside the apartment, stalker-style, and wait to see if a girl showed up and if she did, I wanted to rip her head off. I took a few calming breaths and forced myself to stop being possessive over a man that wasn’t actually mine. As I walked out of the apartment, I could see Ashton in quiet talks with Dean and Peter. They both looked appropriately abashed so I would imagine they were being berated for not telling him we were planning on going out for a while.

Without waiting for them, I pressed the call button on the elevator and stepped in when it opened. “You two coming or am I going on my own?” I called teasingly as my finger hovered over the close doors button. Ashton’s hand slammed against the door frame, holding it open as he raised one eyebrow in silent warning and then ushered my two far guards in with me.

As the door closed, I winced in Dean’s direction because he was the one that seemed to have taken the brunt of Ashton’s annoyance. “Sorry. Thanks for doing this guys, I know he’s gonna be calling and being a general pain in the butt until we get back. ” I smiled apologetically at the pair of them.

He shook his head and smiled back. “Don’t worry about it, Annabelle, he’s harmless. Well, as long as we bring you home in one piece,” he joked as the elevator lurched down towards the parking lot floor.

An hour and a half later, I had everything that I wanted. “Do you guys mind keeping all of this stuff at yours?” I asked as we pulled up at our apartment.

Dean shrugged. “Yeah, no probs,” he agreed, picking up the numerous bags containing my shopping. “Come on; let’s get you back with Ashton before he has kittens. He’s already called me eight times,” he suggested, grinning.

As soon as I walked through the door of our apartment, Ashton grabbed me into a huge hug; I laughed and hugged him back as he lifted me off my feet so he didn’t have to bend. My legs seemed to act of their own accord as they wound around his waist, clamping myself to him tightly. He carried me into the lounge and sat on the sofa with me still wrapped around him, not wanting to let him go. It was weird being without him actually; I’d missed him so much more than I thought I would. I was certainly used to being around him all day everyday.

“Does our bed smell like sex?” I mumbled into the crook of his neck.

“No. I did her up against the wall,” he answered. I laughed, but part of me was crying out for reassurance. I pulled back to look at him and he put his hands either side of my face, looking me right in the eyes. He looked stressed; his hair was extra messy where he’d probably been running his hands through it a lot. “I missed you,” he whispered. I could see by his fierce expression that he meant it, and it made my heart throb.

“I missed you too,” I admitted. He smiled and pulled my face to his, planting a soft kiss on my lips for a few seconds before pulling me into another hug.

I sighed contentedly against his skin of his neck as I ran my tongue over my bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to press my mouth against his again. His kisses sparked this needy reaction in me every time. “So, what did you do with yourself?” I asked, making no moves to get off his lap.

“Not much. I watched a bit of TV, then worried about you. Went on the internet, then worried about you again. Spoke to Nate, and oh yeah, I worried about you some more. ”

I smiled and pulled back to look at him. “You are such an overprotective guy. Seriously, what are you going to do with yourself in six months when you don’t have me to worry about anymore?” I asked, genuinely curious as to what he would do with his spare time.

“I’ll still be worrying about you, trust me,” he answered, stroking my face.

At that moment, my stomach growled loudly. “Wow, embarrassing. Shall we order a pizza? Or maybe Chinese?” I asked, not wanting to cook.

“Yeah okay, I’d probably prefer Chinese,” he agreed.

A little while later the food arrived; I’d already changed into my lounge clothes of tank top and sweats. We ate sitting on the sofa, watching TV, joking around and flicking rice at each other. I hadn’t mentioned his birthday and neither had he. He’d probably forgotten that I even knew the date. Based on what he’d said before about not celebrating Christmas or birthdays, I had the distinct impression that he wasn’t expecting anything for his birthday from anyone.

When we’d finished eating, he settled onto the sofa and found an old horror movie for us to watch while I took the empty plates back to the kitchen. “Come lie with me,” he suggested, holding his arms open for me as I walked back into the room. I went to him immediately. My body just seemed to respond to his every request; it was like I didn’t really have a choice. Smiling to myself, I lay down next to him on the sofa. His arms wound around me tightly, holding me against his chest so that his whole body pressed against mine from behind.

“I really missed you this afternoon,” he whispered.

His words hit me harder than I ever expected them to. “I missed you too, Pretty Boy,” I replied, snuggling into his embrace.

About half way through the movie I lost interest in it, all because Ashton was trailing his fingers along my upper arm. I didn’t think he was even aware he was doing it, but my whole body was almost vibrating with excitement. I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the smooth silkiness of his fingertips against my skin. I moved my hand back and rested it on his thigh. Scooting backwards, I tried to get impossibly closer to him. Because of the position we were in, I could feel that he was starting to get a little excited downstairs. I gulped at the feel of it as my body seemed to come alive. The desire that I felt for Ashton frightened me, but when it hit me it was almost as if I had no control over myself.

Holding my breath, I rolled over to face him. He smiled that little smile that seemed to make my stomach flutter and my body ache. Needing to be closer, I bent my head and pressed my lips against his. As soon as the kiss started, something inside me snapped, and all my restraint seemed to fly out of the window. He made no moves to do anything else other than kiss me back, the same as always, but I needed him tonight, I couldn’t take it anymore.

Seemingly of its own accord, my hand slid down his chest. A little shiver of anticipation overcame me as my hand got to the waistband of his jeans. When I pushed one finger inside, following the outline of it across his skin, he broke the kiss and pulled back, his eyes wide and wary.

I gulped, meeting his bewildered eyes as the temperature in the room seemed to increase by ten degrees – or maybe that was just my body. I nodded in encouragement and bent forward, pressing my lips against his again. As soon as it started, I knew the kiss was different. It wasn’t just the usual soft, chaste kisses that he gave me occasionally when we were at school or sometimes at home when he seemed to forget himself, no, this one was full of fire and passion. The small moan that he made in the back of his throat made my body go into some sort of frenzy.

When the kiss deepened, he moved so that he was half hovering above me, but he still didn’t make any moves to take things further. Knowing I needed to spell it out for him, I slid my other hand down his chest too and got to work on his belt buckle, pulling it open before starting on the buttons.

He grunted and pulled back slightly, his eyes wide and shocked. “Anna… what?”

I smiled and bit my lip; the need for something else was making me ache. I wriggled under him. “It’s okay,” I whispered, reaching up and gripping the back of his head, guiding his mouth back to mine again.

Obviously taking the hint, he kissed me back desperately as his hands finally seemed to catch on to what I wanted. I whimpered under him, closing my eyes as his hands traced my body slowly, slipping under my top and finding their way to my breasts.

I couldn’t keep still as he kissed down my neck, biting my overheated skin gently. As I finally got the last button on his jeans undone, he groaned, pressing against my hand. My mouth watered as I felt the hardness of him through the material of his boxers. Thoughts of the one time I’d been with him bombarded my brain as I longed to get closer, to be consumed by him, to have him possess me completely.

My fingers traced the outline of his erection as his hot mouth wandered my body before latching onto my nipple through my bra. I gasped, arching my back, loving the feel of it. My shyness and overthinking mind was long gone now, only to be replaced by a needy, desperate being that needed this to happen more than anything in the world. I pushed my hand inside his boxers, closing my fingers around his shaft. His whole body seemed to stiffen as he groaned. With my free hand, I gripped the back of his hair and pulled his mouth up to meet mine again.

As I got to work, stroking him softly, his hand seemed to be hovering at the waistband of my sweatpants as if undecided if he should do it or not. I squeezed my eyes shut, lifting my h*ps in silent invitation.

Just as I thought his hesitance would drive me insane, he pushed his hand inside slowly, trailing his palm over my thigh and squeezing my ass gently. The kissing turned a little animalistic then as he practically devoured me, kissing me with such intensity that if I’d been standing, it would have knocked me clean off my feet.

He moaned into my mouth and slipped his hand inside my underwear, tracing his fingers over my wet folds. I wriggled, gasping as a little burst of pleasure erupted inside me. Tingles spread across my body from every place that his hand touched. I continued to pump him while his hand slid further down and he slowly pushed two fingers inside me. I moaned his name, before biting on his lip roughly in an attempt to try and get a hold on the pleasure he was creating as he slowly worked his fingers inside me to the same rhythm than I was stroking him.

When he flicked his wrist the other way around, massaging me with his thumb at the same time, I almost lost my mind as the pleasure became almost too much to bear – almost, but not quite.

His movements were speeding up, his breathing coming quicker and shallower as I sped up too, squeezing gently with each stroke. “Anna,” he murmured against my lips as he kissed me passionately, almost making me dizzy. I was almost there, I could feel it building. With each thrust of his fingers, he was pushing me closer and closer to the edge of that cliff.