Made for You

  “It’s fine.” He folds his hands together under his head. “You never need to tell me you’re sorry. For anything. I like that you don’t act like them all the time. I like that we can be honest, instead of pretending all the time.”

  I’m so not honest right now. I don’t know what to do or say. Why Reid? Why would the killer shoot Reid? Who was he trying to reach? I know it’s not Piper. Who does Reid love so much that he got killed trying to save her? I’m terribly awkward as I blurt, “Do you like Madison?”

  He stares up at me in apparent shock.

  “I saw you watching her.”

  Reid nods, but says nothing.

  “You deserve to be happy. We all do,” I say. “If she’ll make you happy, do something about it.”

  “Really? I don’t know if I should. It’s hard to know sometimes.”

  “You can always talk to me if you need.” I smile at him. “I’m here for you, you know? I think . . . I think maybe we should spend more time together. Maybe you could visit me more.”

  If I can keep him close, I reason, maybe I can keep him safer. He can’t leave town like Piper is, so I need another answer.

  I’m not sure I’ve seen him so excited. “Really? You mean that?”

  “Sure,” I say, more confidently now. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, though, so I add, “Maybe we can talk about Madison too. I saw you watching her, and I want you to be happy, you know?”

  “Madison? You think so?”

  “Definitely! Just be yourself, Reid. Talk to her like she was me.” I pause, feeling a little awkward, knowing it’s going to sound insane no matter how I say it, but I flash back to him standing outside, trying to reach the girl he loves, and getting shot. Quickly, I add, “But inside. Talk to her inside.”

  “Okay.” He reaches up and touches my calf. “Thank you.”

  I think about the killer, the recently dead, and I murmur, “I hope it helps.”

  I’m still trying to figure out if there’s anything else I can say or do to keep Reid safe when Grace comes over and says, “Madison and Bailey left. They said to tell you good-bye.”

  “Yeung,” Reid greets Grace.

  She ignores him, instead looking back at me and adding, “I think everyone’s going to head out. Nate says you need a nap.”

  “He wha—”

  “And I agreed,” Grace continues as if I hadn’t interrupted her. “So I’m going to get a ride home. I texted the General, and she said it’s okay as long as I’m in a group.”

  “Robert can give you a ride,” I suggest.

  She meets my eyes, and I see hesitation there. I’m certain that Robert’s not the killer, but I can’t tell Grace I have proof. I’m about to suggest she ask Piper when Reid speaks up.

  “Do you want me to give you a ride, Yeung?” Reid offers. “Rob’s going the other way because Jamie is riding with him.”

  I think about the vision. Could it have been Grace screaming? It was afternoon from the look of the light, although it was hard to tell because of the trees. It could’ve been evening. “Straight home, right? You’ll take her straight there.”

  Reid gives me a wide smile. “Promise.”

  “Text me when you get there,” I instruct.

  CeCe walks over to join us, obviously having heard the discussion, and asks, “Can you take me too? I may be forced to scream if I have to listen to Jess go on about her new diet any longer.”

  “Hmm. Make CeCe scream or not? That’s a hard question.” Reid crosses his arms and stares at her.

  “Reid?” I say gently.

  He looks at me, but doesn’t offer any smart remark. “Eva.”

  “Would you please give CeCe a ride too? For me? Grace’s mother would feel better if she was with two people, and then I’d feel better because she wouldn’t be so worried that she’d deny me Grace’s company.”

  Another wide smile comes over him, and he kisses my cheek again. “At your service as always.” Then he turns his attention to Grace and CeCe and announces, “Yeung gets shotgun.”

  I think again about telling Reid more than I have, but I don’t know how. I quickly replay the details of my vision and then ask, “Are you going to talk to her tonight?”

  “Should I?”

  All I need to do right now is get Reid through tonight. I suggest, “Maybe go straight home. Stay in. Think about it tonight, plan it out, and then you can go see her in the morning. Afterwards, come see me, so I can hear how it goes.”

  “Tomorrow,” he says softly. “You think I should do it tomorrow morning.” He shakes his head. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” I assure him. I lean in and kiss his cheek. “Good luck.”

  CeCe and Grace are watching us with blatant curiosity, but I’m not going to embarrass Reid by letting them know who he’s crushing on—or according to my vision, in love with. Hopefully, he’ll tell Madison how he feels, and then I have to tell him that he’s a potential murder victim before evening falls again.

  “Let me get Eva settled and then we can go,” Grace interjects. “My purse is up there anyhow.”

  Grace and I head to the stairs, but I refuse to go up on my butt this time. I tell her, “Just walk behind me so if I fall you can help steady me—not that I’m going to fall.”

  She grumbles, but agrees.

  We’re halfway up when Grace says, “Thanks for stepping in with Reid. I’m not up for twenty minutes of the ‘why sex is just like saying hello but naked’ conversation. He needs a girlfriend—or a hobby.”

  I pause on the landing. Steps are harder than they look when you’re on crutches. When I reach my room, I go to sit at the edge of my bed. I’m tired from the death visions and the trip upstairs and from trying to pretend like I’m not five minutes from crying.

  “Reid’s going to get shot,” I blurt now that we’re alone. “I saw it. He’s trying to tell some girl—I think Madison—that he loves her, and he gets shot.”

  “Wow.” She lowers herself to the edge of my bed.

  “And Piper. The killer was in her house. He drugs her.” I shudder at the memory that vision. “She’s going to stay with her grandmother.”

  “You told her?” Grace sounds shocked.

  “No!” I smile slightly. “I just pointed out that she’s been my best friend forever, so she’s in greater risk.”

  “Like me,” she whispers.

  I grab her and hug her. “I won’t let anything happen to you. You’re here inside Fortress Tilling, and then you avoid the library. I saw it, Grace. That was where you were. You can not go there.”

  “If your visions are real,” she adds.

  Quickly, I fill her in on what I saw in Robert’s death. I finish with “Robert admitted that he was suicidal. He was shocked that I knew, but he admitted it.”

  Grace sighs. “So it is real . . . which means Reid is the next victim.”

  “And that we know where your risk is,” I add. “We can keep you safe, and hopefully all of them. Piper will get out of town. Reid’s death was outside, in the late afternoon or early evening, with a girl there, and by a bullet.” I pause, thinking over the visions I had. “I told Reid to go right home and stay there. If he listens, he should be safe—for now.”

  It’s not a great plan, but it’s the best I have right now. Maybe we can keep everyone safe until the police catch the killer.

  “Yeung! Let’s go,” Reid calls up, forestalling any more plotting.

  “Coming!” She turns back to me. “Tell Nate everything. I’ll call you later.”

  Once she grabs her bag, she heads downstairs and joins the stragglers who, from the sounds of it, are waiting at the door for her. A few minutes later, I hear the door close behind them, and then it’s only Nate still in the house with me.

  I pick up my laptop and go to my file of death visions. Then I start adding the ones I just saw before I forget too many details.

  I’m sitting with my back against my headboard. My leg is stretched out, raised slightly on a pillo
w, and it occurs to me that this is a lot like being in the hospital—just more comfortable. It’s quieter too, so much so that I could almost miss the sound of Nate coming up the stairs. I don’t though because I’m sitting here waiting for him, nervous that we’ll fight and hopeful that he’ll hold me so I can feel a little less awful. Seeing so many deaths was horrifying. These are my friends, and I just watched most of them die.

  Nate stops in the hall and leans against the doorframe, not quite inside my room. “We should talk.”

  “Robert’s not the killer,” I start.

  “I meant talk about what happened in the kitchen,” Nate says quietly.

  “No.” I shake my head and continue to focus on the killer. I skim my sketchy notes and tell him, “Reid gets shot. I think he might be the next victim—or maybe Piper. She’s drugged and killed in her house. I talked her into leaving town though, so I hope that her family lets her. CeCe didn’t have a death vision. I don’t know why though.” I think back over the snippets of deaths I saw and felt, and I shudder. I have to look at Nate when I tell him, “I saw Robert’s death. Suicide. Over all of this.”

  I feel a little guilty for violating Robert’s privacy this time. It was different with Grace, but I need Nate to know too. I want him to be nicer to Robert because I’m not convinced that the danger of Robert committing suicide has passed. I hope Robert will keep his word, but knowing both of his girlfriends—because that’s what Amy and I both were—have been attacked by a murderer has to be devastating.

  I realize that Nate is staring at me. Maybe it’s my deluge of words, or maybe it’s because this is far from what he said he wanted to discuss. I don’t know. I meet his gaze and wait though. I need him on my side. I’m scared, and tired, and still recovering from the accident. I need him to help me—and to be someone I can trust.

  “Eva,” he starts, but he says nothing more. He’s still in the doorway to my room, but the way he watches me makes him feel closer.

  “I’m tired, Nate, and I don’t want to think about it, but”—I look back down at my laptop—“I’m guessing that the killer isn’t waiting around forever. Reid dies in the afternoon or early evening, and he’s with a girl he loves. Since he isn’t going to be with her tonight, I need to figure this out before tomorrow. I’m going to talk to him tomorrow.”

  “He’s safe tonight?” Nate asks.

  “Yeah. I’m pretty sure. I got him to agree to stay home tonight. He’s going to tell her how he feels tomorrow morning.”

  Nate walks farther into my room and says, “If everyone’s safe for now, can we please talk about what happened with us? I want to ta—”

  “I already told you how I feel,” I interrupt without looking up at Nate. “You don’t want a relationship. I didn’t ask for one. We’re either friends with rules or friends with benefits. It’s up to you which it is.”

  “You’re not the sort of girl who—”

  “Don’t tell me what sort of girl I am, Nate.” I flip the laptop closed with more force than I should. “I’m the sort of girl a killer is sending messages to, the sort of girl who was attacked and left for dead, and the sort of girl who, oh yeah, sees deaths and is trying to figure out how to save her friends. Trust me when I say that a night with the Jessup man-slut isn’t the worst thing possible. It’s insulting that you think it’s okay for you to sleep with half our class, but I’m supposed to be . . . What? A blushing virgin? I’m not.”

  He watches me in silence again, and I think he might do a repeat of the exiting act from earlier. Instead, he sits on the very edge of my bed beside my uninjured hip. He takes my computer and sets it on the nightstand. He doesn’t look at me, choosing instead to stare at his shoes, as he admits, “I don’t know what to do about you. I’ve never known what to do with you, not once I noticed that you were a girl.”

  “Are you looking for suggestions other than the two I already offered?”

  “Maybe.”

  I scoot over so we’re shoulder to shoulder. He still faces the door and wall beside me, so we’re sort of perpendicular to each other. Cautiously, I touch his arm, and when he glances at me, I say, “If friends or friends with benefits is out, then I say you ask me on a date.”

  “And then?” He turns to face me finally, bending one leg and moving a little farther onto the bed, and I realize that he’s afraid. “I’m not the sort of guy your family would approve of, not like that.”

  “Really?” I say gently. “You can’t honestly think my mother is blind. She hired you.”

  “Being the help is diff—”

  “She hired you because she knows I like you”—I lean closer and kiss his jaw—“and that you like me.”

  “If we date and I fuck up, we won’t be friends. I don’t want that.”

  “So we don’t fuck up.” I kiss him then, cautiously at first. I’m not used to being the aggressor. There’s never been anyone I’ve wanted to kiss as much as I want to kiss Nate. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this kiss, this conversation, this boy since I first noticed boys. He’s the one. He’s always been the one.

  I stop being tentative. I reach up to hold on to the back of his neck, and I press closer to him. It’s awkward because my leg limits my ability to move, but after he kisses me back with the same urgency, I stop noticing my leg and everything else.

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  DAY 14: “THE TASK”

  Judge

  BARELY A MONTH AGO, I’d entered into my darkest time, my doubtful wandering through the desert. In my doubt, I nearly killed the one who was meant to be my helpmate. Today, Eva invited me into her home and told me what to do.

  The journey to this day has been so long. It took me years to comprehend that it was Eva I needed. For years, my grandmother told me that the Lord had made a woman just for me. She promised that I had only to wait and watch; His ways are sometimes hard to know but if we are open to His messages, if we listen for His orders, we’ll know.

  I waited. I watched. I studied them all.

  Then I realized that Eva was the only one who could truly understand me, so I waited for her to heed the Lord’s message too. I knew Eva had heard His voice when she told me that there was a girl out there for me, and if I would be less crude, I’d find her.

  I made sure she saw me be kind and good. I thought that it would be enough, but then she didn’t come to me. I still wasn’t good enough. She punished me by sleeping with Robert.

  But I forgave her. I kept trying—until I saw her turn her gaze so often to Bouchet. I drove the car into her body, even though it hurt my heart and lungs to do it. When God spared her life, I knew that we still had a chance, so I left her messages. I even sacrificed Amy. I did everything right.

  And now . . . and now . . . she rewarded me. She asked me to touch her. It was only for a moment, but it was pure and good. Soon, she’ll ask me to touch her all the time.

  First, I must complete the mission Eva gave me today. I know this is the final challenge. I’ll do a good job, and then I’ll go to Eva’s house, just as she said I should.

  As I drive, I think about how to do it. Madison is difficult. She’s a challenge.

  “Reid?”

  CeCe is talking. I’d considered her. I still want to, but Madison is the one Eva chose for us. I see now that CeCe would be too easy for the trial Eva wants me to complete. Like a knight of old, or a soldier fighting for the South, I wish I had a token of Eva’s regard to carry with me on the battlefield. Maybe I’ll ask for one next time.

  “Reid,” CeCe snaps. “You missed the turn.”

  “Maybe I just wanted to keep you with me longer.”

  “Funny. Turn around.”

  Beside me, Grace is silent, and I remember that Eva didn’t want Grace left alone with anyone. Eva told me that. I’m not going to risk upsetting Eva when we’re so close to our future. “Sorry but Yeung nee
ds to get home first. Right, Yeung?”

  “She’s past my house though,” CeCe objects.

  I shrug. It’s hard to talk to girls who don’t matter as much as my Eva does, but I have to do as Eva wants. I’ll spend the rest of our lives doing as she wants. I’ve been waiting so long, but today, she let me know that she’s almost ready for our union. I felt her hesitation when she asked me to touch her, but she did it. There, surrounded by all of Them, and even with Grace and Bouchet in the room, she asked me to touch her.

  I ignore CeCe and Grace as I think about Eva’s skin. She was as excited as I was. Her pulse felt like a small hammer under my fingertips. I knew when I touched her that she has been receiving my messages. She has heard me, and she is glad. She told me that she saw me, but no one else did. That’s why she gave me a task: it’s to show her my love and loyalty.

  Together, we chose the next message. I’d hoped that she’d seen the rightness of my choices, but I’m excited that she made the choice for me—for us—this time. Eva let me know that she’s a part of the mission. After I do as Eva directed, we’ll be together. She told me that today. She knew I needed to give her one more lesson. She told me, “If she’ll make you happy, do something about it.”

  “Left here,” Grace says.

  Silently, I pull into her drive and wave as she gets out of the car. Then, I pat the passenger seat. “Come up here, CeCe. I’m not going to play chauffeur.”

  CeCe mutters something I can’t make out, but she obeys. We watch as Grace walks to the door. Once she’s inside, I smile at CeCe and suggest, “No witnesses now, Watkins. Call your mother, and tell her you’re staying over with Piper for a while.”

  “Why would I do that?” She has her phone out already though.

  “Let me take you on a date. No one has to know.” I take her hand in mine and pretend she’s Eva. I give her the comforting look I want to give to Eva. “Just a date, Cees. We’ll get some picnic stuff and go down to the lake.”