Searching for Beautiful

  She tried not to be defensive, but old habits die hard. She kept her voice smooth and professional. "I'm sorry. Dr. Ward wasn't listening to my concerns regarding a patient I believe is having cardiac difficulties. Women are misdiagnosed many times for indigestion and I wanted to run this last test. He refused."

  "He refused for a reason. Because it's indigestion and Dr. Ward said she's uninsured. You gonna pay for it?"

  She tightened her lips. "If I have to."

  "How superior you are. Think you're smarter than Ward?"

  "No."

  "Think you're smarter than me?"

  She glared. "No. I went with my instincts. Something's wrong and I couldn't live with myself if it was my fault and I sent her out of here. She's still my patient."

  "Instincts, huh? The same one that told you to escape from me outside a church window?"

  Gen flinched. "This has nothing to do with us."

  "It has everything to do with us." He pushed his hand through his hair and closed the distance. "I miss you, Genevieve."

  "Please, don't."

  "I want you back and it's been enough time. Marry me."

  "I can't. It's over. I'm sorry it happened this way, that I hurt you. But I can't be with you anymore. Ever."

  The beauty faded to ugliness. Those lush lips turned in a sneer. "I don't think you understand. I refuse to be humiliated and mocked. I also refuse to lose you. We can make this work between us and be happy, but if you still deny me I have one option left. I will make you pay." Her breath strangled in her throat. He loomed over her, cheeks red. "Starting with a formal disciplinary mark in your file. You disobeyed two doctors--your bosses--and ordered unnecessary tests we refused."

  "I was trying to do the best thing for my patient. How many times have you told me that was key to the job?"

  "I also said look at the facts. Making random choices based on an odd feeling puts everyone at risk. And I don't want a surgeon like that on my team."

  "You're doing this to get back at me," she whispered.

  "I want you back because we belong together. I can forget the whole incident and get you back on the floor with Ward."

  "If I marry you."

  "If you come back to the man who loves you."

  Her chest felt hollow. Grief and anger swirled together in a mess that rose up and exploded. "Never. Just stay away from me and let me do my job. Your love is an illusion to control and manipulate me. I know what you've been doing behind my back with my family, trying to set yourself up as the good guy. I'm done."

  "Yes. You are done." He reached out to touch her hair but she jerked away. "We'll start with the write-up in your file. I'll have Ward lodge a formal complaint about your instability. Many of your peers have noticed your erratic behavior, so that could become a problem. You can continue working here, Genevieve, but this is my world you live in. I promise to make every day hell and eventually get you kicked out of the hospital. I will destroy your career piece by piece. Do we understand each other?"

  Tears threatened, but she'd die rather than release them. "Is this how you show your love for someone? By hurting and abusing them?"

  "It didn't have to be this way. You chose this. Remember that."

  Her future flashed before her. She could take the whispers and taunts. She could handle the coldness and manipulation. But the slow eroding of her skill and growth as a doctor would destroy her. By the time he was done, she'd lose every shred of confidence in her abilities and the love for medicine that was in her core. He'd leave her with nothing. And he could do it.

  Gen knew she had options. She could go to HR. Fight him and go on record. But with his support, prestige, and position, especially with their previous love relationship, it would look like she wanted him back and he'd refused her. David could spin it any way and people would believe it. She'd never be welcomed into another residency program.

  A piece of her heart slowly broke off and crumbled. In that moment, everything was crushed. Her hope and love for a man she once believed in, and the career she'd dreamed of since she was young.

  All gone.

  "I understand."

  "Good. And your decision?"

  She stepped back, numb. Maybe it was better this way. The pain would come later as she said the final words to destroy the final fragile thread between them.

  "I resign from my residency. Good-bye, David."

  She walked out the door. Everyone stared at her, greedily watching for a medical soap opera to unfold. Gen refused to give them anything else of her.

  The tech touched her on the shoulder. "Doctor, the results came in for the cardiac enzymes."

  "What are they?"

  "Positive."

  She enjoyed the quick rush of satisfaction before she turned to David, who stood in the doorway watching her leave. "Give the results to Ward and tell him I was right. She's got blockage and we need to stave off a heart attack."

  Those were the last words she spoke before she left everything behind.

  thirteen

  GEN, GET UP."

  "Ugh, what's that smell?"

  "I think it's her. I told you we should've busted in yesterday."

  "I know. I couldn't find my spare key. Why won't she wake up? What if she overdosed?"

  "Don't be so dramatic, there's no wine or pill bottles. But the empty ice cream cartons and candy wrappers means she's on a sugar crash. Gen, sweetie, open your eyes."

  The voices swirled together in a beautiful musical harmony. Her eyelids felt heavy and she had a bad feeling that if she opened them she'd remember something terrible. She tried to ignore them, but the nice voices came with hands that were poking her and trying to turn her over. Gen growled. "Go away. I'm tired."

  Her body was shaken harder than a James Bond martini. "Wake up, I mean it. You're freaking us out."

  She opened one eye. Three female faces peered down at her. "How come you're not at work?" Gen mumbled.

  "It's Sunday," Kate said. "We've been trying to reach you since yesterday. Thought you were with Wolfe, but he's at some kind of convention thing, so he told us to break in. How long have you been in bed?"

  Huh. When did her life splinter into tiny pieces so she had no job, no possessions, and no future? Oh yeah, Thursday. "Few days."

  Kennedy pulled back. "Woman, you need to brush your teeth."

  "Tomorrow." She tried to roll back over but they forced her to sit up, climbing on top of the bed so they all surrounded her.

  "Did something happen with David or the hospital?" Arilyn asked.

  Gen realized they didn't know. After her exit, she'd gone directly to the grocery store and bought everything that looked like it would kill her. Saturated fats and sugar galore. Trying to avoid a big pity party on top of her wedding fiasco, she'd texted everyone that she'd be working nonstop and would catch up later. Knowing Wolfe would be checking on her anyway, she'd told him she was staying at Kate's and she'd contact him next week.

  Then she'd gone to bed and stayed there.

  "Honey, what happened? Wolfe was frantic. You lied and said you were with me," Kate said.

  "Didn't want him to worry. He's been babysitting me and it's getting embarrassing. I'll be fine."

  Kennedy lifted two empty bags of Funions. "If you ate these you're not fine."

  Gen took a breath. "I quit the hospital. My residency is over. I had a huge showdown with David and he threatened to make my life hell, and I realized I can't continue there."

  Kate stood up and smoothed back her hair. "Okay, I'm going to go kill him now. Remember, you're my witnesses, so I was never there."

  Gen grabbed her hand. "I know you're serious, so sit back down. I need you here, not in jail."

  Kennedy fumed. "He can't get away with that. You need to report him."

  She lifted her hands. "Guys, he's covered his tracks well. In fact, he planted seeds of depression and anxiety. Wrote up a report for HR. He runs the unit, and I'm just the silly runaway bride. I'm not going back, and I don't
want to get involved in a lawsuit or investigation I'll lose. It'll actually be worse for me."

  "I'm sorry, Gen. But I am going to kill him for you."

  She smiled at Kate. "I know you would. You're such a good friend."

  "Let's avoid talk of murder, please, and figure this out," Arilyn piped up. "Can we hook you up with a tape recorder where you can get him to confess his evil plans on record?"

  They stared at her. For such a sweet, gentle soul, Arilyn had a vicious streak that always fascinated Gen. "Good idea," Ken jumped in. "Nate can help us set it up."

  Gen laughed. Only her friends could introduce humor into every situation. "Thanks for the suggestion, A, but I think I'll pass. I just want to move on. Nothing else matters right now."

  "What are you going to do?" Kate asked. "Transfer to another hospital and residency program?"

  She shook her head. "I'm taking a break. I need to figure out if this is what I really want, or if it's just been a goal I've set for myself. I'd still need to commit to years more of training to do surgery. Maybe this is a sign I'm not meant for it." They jumped in together to protest, but she held up one hand. "No, I'm not saying I'm not good enough. I just don't think I ever gave myself any other options. I need time." A small smile touched her lips. "I have nothing left. Maybe it's a good thing, since I can start fresh. Find out who I really am again. Make sense?"

  Arilyn nodded. "Perfect sense."

  "Is David pressuring you? Are you afraid of him? I still think we should call the cops," Kennedy said.

  "No. Now that I left the hospital, he has no more need to torture me. He can keep my stuff, I couldn't care less. I just want to be free and start over."

  "Okay, but you're not going to spend endless days in bed eating bad food in an attempt to figure things out," Kate announced. "You're getting a job."

  "Where?"

  "At Kinnections, of course."

  Kennedy and Arilyn high-fived. "Yes, that's perfect," Kennedy squealed. "We're growing so fast we're getting behind and need to hire another assistant. You start tomorrow."

  "What? I can't work for Kinnections! I know nothing about matchmaking."

  "You don't need to," Kate said briskly. "We'll teach you what you need, but you already have half the battle won. You've always had an amazing instinct about people. You just need to rediscover that part again."

  The idea was so ridiculous she almost believed it could work. She'd learn about her friends' business, keep busy, and help out. She'd get paid. And what better environment than around the people she loved best?

  "I'm not letting you say no, so just get over it," Kate said.

  Gen grinned. "You're always so bossy."

  "Yeah, Slade loves it."

  Ken rolled her eyes. "Oh please, he's so the dom in your relationship. You get all gooey when he commands you to do all sorts of nasty things."

  Kate sniffed. "What's Nate studying now, Ken? Anal play?"

  Gen laughed at the red flush on Kennedy's cheeks. Priceless. Her geeky rocket scientist had a passion for studying academics and new subjects that included the best ways to have sex. His inventiveness had kept their sex life quite active. Many times Kate said she'd found Ken asleep at her desk in a desperate effort for some actual sleep.

  A pang of longing hit. That should've been her and David. She wondered if there'd ever be someone who'd understand and love her for who she was, warts and issues included. As much as she didn't want to admit it, her confidence was badly shaken. Would a man ever want her with such a raw passion and longing? Was it even possible for her?

  The memory of Wolfe's kiss flashed before her. The solid press of his erection against her thigh. The blistering heat of his skin. The thrust of his tongue claiming her mouth. Yes. With David there was a physical connection, especially in the beginning, but it faded to technique and never cut deep. Just that one kiss from Wolfe gave her a taste of what he'd bring to his partners in bed. Was that wrong to crave such passion for herself?

  She pushed the thoughts out of her mind and tried to focus on the present. "If you think I can be helpful, I'll do it."

  Kate smiled with satisfaction. "Good. Nine o'clock. This is going to be epic."

  "But first you have to shower," Ken piped up.

  Arilyn patted her shoulder. "Why don't you clean up and we'll order some takeout from Mugs? We can have a movie night."

  "Oh, how about The Heat with Sandra Bullock? That was hysterical," Kate said.

  Ken sighed. "You and your comedies. How about Magic Mike?"

  Arilyn shook her head. "We've seen that together three times. There's no plot."

  Ken lifted a brow. "And your point is?"

  Gen got up from the bed and headed for the shower. A glimmer of hope flared. She'd get to the other side eventually, and things would work out. And if she was a surgical dropout and future spinster, so what? She had great friends, family, and a working brain and body.

  Today, that was enough.

  "HI, WELCOME TO KINNECTIONS--Wolfe? What are you doing here?"

  Oh, he wanted to strangle her.

  He strode over to the receptionist's desk, where those wide navy blue eyes looked innocent. He was used to seeing her in scrubs or jeans, so the sexy black lace top and flash of bare leg from her skirt threw him off for a moment. Her usual ponytail had been replaced by curls flying free over her shoulders. Chestnut waves flopped over one eye, which looked annoying but damn seductive. Flirty. Definitely not like the Gen he knew.

  He laid both palms flat on the desk and leaned over. "I think the better question is, what are you doing here?"

  She gave a pout. Was she wearing lipstick? He wouldn't have pegged her to wear a bold color, but the rich, coffee-colored lipstick clung to her mouth and tempted a man to try a sip.

  What the hell was he thinking?

  "You're in a mood. I work here now."

  His temper rose another notch. "You're a doctor. Why aren't you at the hospital?"

  She shifted in the chair. "I quit."

  He turned. "I'm going to kill the son of a bitch. Wait here."

  Wolfe took a few steps before she scrambled and skid ahead of him, blocking his exit. "Kate already tried twice. Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but it's for the best. There was an incident and I realized I won't be able to work there."

  "Why didn't you tell me? I get a text saying you're working late, then staying at Kate's. You refuse to answer my calls, and when I finally get in touch with Kate, she says you're not with her. Crap, Gen, you gave me a heart attack! I'm stuck at the convention with a bunch of suits and couldn't get to you. What incident?"

  "A patient thing. I needed some time alone and didn't want to bother anyone."

  Wolfe gritted his teeth and prayed for calm. "You're not a bother. You're my friend."

  Her face softened and she grabbed his arms. Her fingers lay directly over the thin leather that covered his wrists, but the heat from her touch still burned. "I know. You have to understand how I've been feeling lately. Like a whiny, pitying, weak female. Suddenly I'm doing all these crazy things and I broke. I'm better now, but thank you."

  Her patronizing words made him more enraged. He still wasn't sure why. Her self-imposed isolation drove him nuts, but the thought of her turning to someone else was much worse. He wanted to shake her until she understood how important she was. "You're not better. I refuse to let that asshole push you out when you were born to be a surgeon. You can't work at a matchmaking agency. It's totally beneath you."

  The softness disappeared and turned to fire. She practically growled like a she-cat. "Who the heck are you to judge me or Kinnections! Did you suddenly turn into a snob, O playboy turned millionaire hotel magnate?"

  Wolfe fought not to flush. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm just saying you were meant to save lives, not make matches!"

  She sniffed like it was a reasonable argument. "I disagree. This may be my true calling after all. I'm tired of stress and medicine and decisions that are life-and-death. I'm goin
g to have fun. Who knows? Maybe I'll even find real love."

  Irritation scraped him like a Brillo pad. "You'll get bored of this place in a week."

  She stuck out her tongue. Was she serious? "No, I won't. And I'm not quitting till I help make a great match for someone. I need to be around magic and hope. Hey, want to sign up? Kate says if I get clients on my own I get a recruitment bonus."

  He stared at her. "Are you kidding me? No, I'm not signing up for Kinnections. Listen, I'll help you get transferred to another hospital. I can make some calls--I know some guy in Albany who's high up the ladder. You can't leave your residency when you worked so hard. We'll fix this."

  "There's nothing to fix. This is my job now and you'll have to get used to it." The phone rang and she brightened. "Gotta get that."

  Wolfe watched her run to the phone and lean over the desk. The skirt stretched over her full rear, rode up her thighs, and left her indecent. She wobbled a bit on three-inch stilettos till she found her balance. For God's sake, she never wore heels. Had Kennedy gotten ahold of her? Why was it so hot in here?

  He dragged his fingers through his hair and listened to her chirp about some upcoming mixer at the Purple Haze. She gave a low little laugh that sounded suspiciously like a giggle. Oh yeah. Kennedy had definitely done something horrible to her. She hung up, wiggled back around, and tugged down the indecent minuscule fabric that constituted office wear. Even her perfume was different. The lingering sweet scent of peach mixed with a sharp citrus and musk that tantalized. Was she working here to find dates for herself? No, that wouldn't be like her at all. She used to say she needed months to get over a relationship. A broken engagement would take at least a year.

  "Sure you don't want to help me earn some more money?" She gave him a wink. "You'd be a hot commodity with the women."

  Ugh, he refused to be embarrassed. "No. I can get my own dates."

  "Fine. At least I'll get something for signing myself up."

  He opened his mouth, then shut it. Opened it again. "What are you talking about?"

  Gen grinned. "I'm going to be a new client of Kinnections!"

  "You just broke up with David. You're always bitching about people needing months in between serious relationships in order to heal. Remember that time I broke up with Allie, and you made me cancel my date the next weekend? You forced me to be celibate for two whole weeks!"

  She rolled her eyes and cocked a hip out. The black top shifted and he caught a fragment of lace peeking from her shoulder. Huh? He had it on authority she only wore cotton underwear. "You needed to suffer. You broke her heart."