Beat of the Heart

  The limo driver shook his head. “I just called the paramedics on dispatch. They were right around the corner, and they should be here any minute.”

  “Shit,” I muttered as another terrible contraction ricocheted through me. Looking back, I realized all the pains I’d had yesterday and today weren’t just the usual pregnancy pains or Braxton Hicks. Even though I was a Cardiac nurse, how the hell could I not have realized the signs that I was in labor?

  I gripped AJ’s hand tight as I rode the agonizing wave of pain. When it finally subsided, I relaxed. But it was at that moment that I felt something had shifted below my waist. “Um, this is probably totally in my imagination, but it feels like she’s coming out already.”

  Abby peered down at her phone. “Your contractions are coming faster and faster together. Do you want me to…” She glanced between AJ and Jake before looking back at me. “You know, check on things…down there?”

  “Yeah, it probably wouldn’t hurt. I mean, between the two of us, we probably have just enough nursing training to be dangerous when it comes to labor and delivery.”

  When Abby reached to ease up my dress, Jake threw up his hands defensively. “Wait, I’m sorry, but I have to get the hell out of here,” he said, before ducking out of door. I caught a glimpse of Rhys pacing outside with Brayden and Lily before Jake closed the door.

  Abby gently reached under my dress to remove my soaked panties. She tossed them to the side, and then pushed the hemline up. “Oh my God!” she screeched.

  “What?” AJ and I demanded in unison.

  “You were right. Bella’s head…it’s like…right there.”

  “Oh, shit, I’ve already crowned?”

  “Whoa, what the hell is crowning?” AJ questioned.

  “Didn’t you read any of the baby books I gave you?”

  A sheepish look entered his face. “I skimmed some of them. Those birthing pictures were way intense.”

  “Well for your information, crowning means it’s time to push.”

  He shook his head wildly back and forth. “But you can’t push yet. The paramedics aren’t here. Can’t you just hold it in?”

  The death glare that both Abby and I shot him caused him to shrink back into the seat. He held up his hands defensively. “Sorry, that was a really stupid question.” He swallowed hard. “Okay, then what do we do?”

  I opened my mouth but was interrupted by the wail of an ambulance’s siren. At AJ’s horror stricken face, I squeezed his hand. “It’s okay now. The EMT’s will know what to do.”

  Just as they knocked on the window, another pain seized me—this time it felt like a giant’s hands were squeezing my abdomen. I couldn’t help but pinch my eyes shut and push, regardless of whether the paramedics were there or not. Voices echoed around me, but all I could do was focus on the contractions as they came harder and faster.

  As I crouched down at Mia’s side in the back of the limo, the irony of the situation wasn’t lost on me. We’d come together sexually as a couple for the first time on a limo floor and now our daughter was going to be born in one. Mia was advancing so fast that the EMT’s refused to move her.

  When I’d dared to protest that maybe having a baby in a limo wasn’t the best idea, they had ignored me. Instead they’d jerked up Mia’s dress even further and widened her legs for the delivery. Shit was getting epically real, and I wasn’t sure I could handle it.

  But when I got my first sight of Bella’s crowned head, it was like a lightning bolt zapped me. Even from my vantage point, I could see she had a head full of jet black hair. Something about seeing that tiny head sent wonder and instant adoration rippling through me. This was my baby girl. I no longer gave a shit that we were having her in a limo and not a sterile delivery room. All I cared about was that my daughter— mi niña—was about to be born.

  While I whispered soft words of reassurance in Mia’s ear, she huffed and puffed out breaths of air as her face contorted in pain. I hated that she had to do this shit without any good drugs. The entire time she was pregnant she had never once advocated for natural childbirth—she’d even refused those classes where they teach you to breathe because she knew she wanted drugs. But now she was being denied that all because of me, and her stupid honor as my loyal fiancée to tag along with me to my Grammy party shit.

  An electricity crackled in the air as one of the paramedics began moving faster between Mia’s legs. A flurry of activity was going on below her waist, but I focused on her. I held her gaze as she rode the waves of pain, and then finally I resorted to singing Spanish into her ear. I knew she’d always said that Spanish turned her on and that was the last thing she was thinking about now, but I figured it might be a little soothing. It seemed to help a little.

  And then almost like magic, one minute Bella wasn’t there, and the next she appeared, bloodied and wailing in the paramedic’s hands. Tears stung my eyes at the sight of her, and I didn’t bother trying to hide them.

  As the EMT suctioned Bella’s nose and mouth, Mia squeezed my hand. “Is she okay?” she questioned.

  The EMT smiled. “Looks fine—great, actually, considering everything. Of course, they’ll check her over at the hospital.” Turning to me, he asked, “Would you like to cut the cord?”

  “Sure,” I replied, taking the scissors from him. Once Bella was freed from Mia, the EMT wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to me. “Sir, I’m going to get you to hang on to the baby while we get your wife ready for transfer to the hospital.”

  Unable to correct him on our marital status, I merely bobbed my head. I couldn’t have spoken if I had wanted to. I was too enthralled by the tiny bundle in my arms. Even though she was still a little bloody and messy from delivery, Bella was the most breathtakingly beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my life, next to her mother that is. Her lungs seemed to be working just fine because she was wailing her head off, her tiny features scrunched in anger. “Welcome to the world, my love,” I murmured in Spanish.

  At the sound of my voice, she cut off her screams before popping her eyes open to stare up at me. “Holy shit,” I muttered before shaking my head. “Great, now I’m already cursing in front of you. You’ll have to cut your old man some slack, okay?” She continued eye-balling me like I was the greatest mystery in her new world. The truth was she was the greatest mystery in mine—the greatest treasure I could ever possess.

  The EMT’s hand on my shoulder brought me out of my trance. “Okay, I need you to step outside with the baby, so my partner can get the stretcher for your wife.”

  When I eased out of the limo, I found a throng of people had gathered around both the limo and the ambulance. Thankfully, our EMT’s partner, along with the police, had worked at erecting sheets up to block the view of any bystanders or paparazzi.

  Through the faces, I caught sight of Jake and the others standing to the side of the ambulance. Walking as carefully as I could, I made my way over to them. “Hey,” I said lamely.

  Jake snickered. “Dude, you like you’ve just come back from war. I thought it was Mia birthing the kid, not you.”

  “Shut up, douchebag.” I glanced down at Bella before looking back at him. “Seeing her born, holding her in my arms—it’s the most fucking intense thing I’ve ever experienced.” At the f-bomb, I winced. “Great, she’s been here less than ten minutes, and I’ve cussed twice.”

  Abby smiled as she leaned down to kiss the top of Bella’s head. “There are worse things you could do besides cuss in front of her. You’re obviously doing something right because she seems very comfortable.”

  “I guess you’re right.” My attention was drawn over my shoulder where the rattling wheels of Mia’s stretcher came screeching up to the open ambulance door. Although she was pale and sweaty, Mia had never looked more beautiful to me. She gave a smile to the others before she was loaded into the ambulance.

  “See you at the hospital, okay?” Abby called.

  “Okay,” Mia replied.

  “Congrats Big Daddy,” Ja
ke said, before slapping me on the back.

  “Thank you.” I smiled before turning to hand Bella to the EMT. I didn’t trust myself to climb inside with her in my arms. I hopped in and then slid across the bench. The EMT had handed Bella to Mia, and she was cradling her in her arms with tears streaming down her cheeks. When she glanced up at me, she smiled. “Thank you.”

  “For making you have a baby in the back of a limo?”

  She shook her head. “Thank you for giving me everything I hadn’t realized I had ever wanted.”

  I leaned over and kissed her. “I feel the same way.”

  Blinking my eyes, I tried remembering where I was. The antiseptic smell of a hospital assaulted my nose, and for a minute, I thought I was back on the Cardiac Care floor at St. Joe’s. But if I was on a shift, what the hell was I doing in bed? When I shifted slightly, a wave of pure exhaustion rippled through my body along with an ache between my legs so strong it felt like a Buick had driven straight through it.

  And then it hit me. I’d given birth to my Bella. A replay of the night’s evens came crashing over me. Oh God, I’d given birth in the back of a limousine outside of a Grammys after party. What could be more bizarre? I could only imagine by now the story and pictures had been leaked, sending the media into a frenzy.

  My ears perked up at the sound of singing. Turning my head on my pillow, I followed the sound to where AJ sat in a rocker with Isabella in his arms. I remembered that once we’d gotten to the hospital, they had taken her from me. After weighing and measuring her, she’d been given back to feed. Once she finished and left my arms again, exhaustion had set in, and I’d fallen asleep.

  Now that I’d woken from my mini-coma, I saw that Bella had been cleaned up, dressed in a onesie, and outfitted with a tiny cap with an enormous pink bow on her head. As he rocked back and forth, AJ softly sang to her in Spanish. With wide-eyes, she stared up at him, occasionally flailing her tiny hands or flicking out her tongue. The expression of pure love and wonderment on AJ’s face as he stared down at his daughter caused my heart to still and then restart.

  When I caught AJ’s gaze, he smiled at me before glancing back down at Isabella. “Looks like Mommy is finally awake.”

  “Have I been out long?” I questioned, as I tried pushing myself up in the bed.

  “About three hours.”

  My brows popped up in surprise. “Really?”

  He nodded. “You needed it though.”

  “I guess so.” With a groan, I wiped my eyes. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.”

  “I would imagine so. You just gave birth, for Christ’s sake.”

  “In the back of a limo, no less.”

  Instead of making a jab at our situation, he gave me a sincere smile. “Even though it wasn’t here in the hospital like we would have wanted, it was still the most amazing experience of my life.”

  Tears pooled in my eyes from his words and the depth of emotion with which he said them. “It was, wasn’t it?”

  He nodded as he took Bella’s fist in his fingers. “You know, I thought I loved her before, but now that she’s here, it’s incredible.”

  Sniffling, I reached for a tissue on the bedside table. “I love you for loving her so much, AJ. But most of all, I love you for being the man that you are.”

  “I love you too, amorcito mio.”

  I wanted to kiss him—to wrap my arms around him and not let go—but I was too tired. I couldn’t stifle my yawn. AJ smiled. “You just rest, amorcito mio. I’ve got Bella all taken care of. Well, until she needs some boob time again.”

  “Whatever,” I murmured, with a grin.

  When AJ started humming to Bella again, I giggled. “You know, you’re setting me up for failure singing to her like that. What will we do when you’re out on the road, and she’s stuck with tone deaf me?”

  AJ grinned. “Maybe I can go to the studio and lay down some tracks for you to play when I’m gone.”

  “That sounds like a good idea.” I motioned to the bassinet. “You should lay her down for a little while. I know you have to be tired, too.”

  “I’m fine,” he murmured.

  “But remember how the baby books all said that we’ll spoil her if we hold her too much?”

  “Yeah, well, fuck Dr. Spock and those other asshats.”

  “AJ!”

  “Sorry. I know I need to watch my language around her.” His blazing black eyes met mine. “Besides, I thought we both agreed not to listen to those books and raise her in our own way.”

  “Yes, I know, but—”

  He exhaled a painful sigh. “I just want to do this as long as I can, Mia. I mean, we’ll be leaving for the East Coast tour in two weeks.” He bit his bottom lip like he was trying not to cry, but the tears welled in his eyes anyway. “I already feel this choking panic that I need to memorize every detail of her face, her hands, and body before I have to go so long without seeing her.”

  “We’ll Skype together every night, and I’ll text you pictures every day,” I protested, softly.

  He gave a quick jerk of his head. “It isn’t the same thing as holding her in my arms, cuddling her close to my heart, and smelling her sweet, little baby scent.” He pinned me with a glare. “And don’t you dare say something to lighten the mood like ‘well, you won’t be thinking she smells so sweet at the next diaper change’!”

  “I wasn’t going to,” I murmured. After all the issues we’d had, the only argument AJ and I had experienced in our last five months together was my decision not to come out on the road with him once Bella was born. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with him—I just wanted Bella to have the comfort and safety of a nursery not on wheels. There was also my job to contend with, which even though AJ thought it was absurd, I wanted to go back to nursing in a few months. It wasn’t about the fact we didn’t need the money—it was the need within me to help and heal people.

  But as I watched the tears drip off of AJ’s cheeks and onto Bella’s blanket, some of Mama Sofia’s words echoed through my mind. “Marriage is all about compromise, Emiliana. It’s give and take, but in the end, it’s always going to be the woman giving more because she’s the soul and heart of her man and her family. And when it comes to being a mother, there is nothing that you won’t sacrifice to ensure the happiness and health of your child.” The more those words rolled through my mind, the more I realized what I had to do. “AJ,” I said.

  “Yeah?” he questioned, not taking his eyes off of Bella.

  “I don’t want you to have to be separated from Bella or from me.”

  He jerked his gaze over to mine. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying I’ll go on the road with you—if you’d still like that.”

  “Like it? I’d fucking love it!” He leapt out of the rocking chair and came to my side. With Bella nestled in one arm, he leaned over the rails of the bed with the other. He gave me a lingering kiss that warmed my heart. When he pulled away, his brows furrowed. “You’re really willing to quit your job and live a chaotic life on a cramped bus just for me?”

  “Not just for you.” I kissed the top of Bella’s capped head. “For her, too.” I smiled at AJ. “Like her mom, she’s blessed with an amazingly, loving father, and she shouldn’t be deprived of one second with him.”

  “Oh God, you make me so happy,” he said, bringing his lips back to mine.

  “I feel the same way about you.” And in the middle of a very idyllic, very romantic kiss, Bella let out a wail that I could only classify, as ‘I want milk, and I want it now!’ Pulling away, I rubbed AJ’s cheek tenderly before taking Bella in my arms. I didn’t know how I became so blessed, but I was certainly grateful.

  After all, a year ago during the darkest times of my life, I would have never thought it was possible to be experiencing the happiness I was now. I wouldn’t have dreamed there could be a man like AJ—one who was so wonderful, so sweet and caring, so generous both in and outside of the bedroom. Most of all, one who was my true
soul-mate that Mama Sofia had always said would one day come along. Instead, I would still be believing the many lies my ex’s from my battered and broken past had told me.

  But when I least deserved it and after being so stubborn, I had found acceptance of myself, the love of a lifetime, and a family of my own.

  As I stood at the doorway leading to the altar of Christ the King cathedral, I fidgeted nervously back and forth on my feet. At the same time, my fingers tapped out a beat on the black pants of my tux. The intensely sweet aroma from all the floral arrangements stung my nose, while my ears rung from the sound of the enormous pipe organ blasting out the pre-wedding ceremony music.

  Wrapping an arm around my shoulder, Jake said, “You know, we can still run if you want?”

  I snorted. “Yeah right. You want a mob of angry Sicilians after us?”

  Jake laughed. “Nah, I’m good.”

  “Besides, there’s nothing more I want to do than marry Mia.”

  “I know, man. I just had to tease you.” He glanced down at the platinum band on his left hand and shook his head. “Who would have thought you and I would be shackled with balls and chains at the ripe old age of twenty-six?”

  “Not me. That’s for damn sure,” I replied, with a smile. I jerked my chin up towards Rhys. “Now we just gotta get him someone, and we’ll all be old married dudes.”

  Rhys shook his head wildly back and forth. “Screw that dude. I’m not getting married until I’m thirty.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I said the same thing.”

  “I said forty,” Jake said.

  With a shrug, Rhys said, “Well, it ain’t happening for me anytime soon. Got it?”

  “Whatever,” Jake, Brayden and I all said in unison.

  We were interrupted by the wedding coordinator. “It’s time.”

  While my heart leapt into my throat with nerves, I clapped my hands together as if anxiously ready to get this show on the road. It wasn’t that I was nervous about marrying Mia—I’d totally been the chick in the relationship by being ready to get married immediately. Hell, I would have married her in Mexico right after I proposed. But she had wanted to wait to give us time to settle in to being engaged, to our new life on the road, and most importantly, to having Bella before we tied the knot. In the end, it made the most sense because she wanted the dream wedding she’d once planned years ago with that douchebag Dev. Between my touring schedule and a newborn, it had taken a little longer to get the wedding planned and executed.