The Unfairest of Them All

  “Hey, Humphrey,” Apple said, letting go as he found his balance.

  “Check, Birdfruit,” he said. “What’s on the swing?”

  Raven looked at Apple with her most sincere “That is exactly what I’m talking about” face.

  “Oops,” said Humphrey. “I, er… sometimes get, I don’t know, wordspun when I’m working on, uh, songs and stuff. I mean, hey, Apple; hey, Raven.”

  “Raven?” Dexter Charming stood up from a couch in the back of the room. He saw Raven and automatically tried to smooth down his brown hair. But as always, a vicious cowlick stuck it straight up in front. He adjusted his black-framed glasses and then put his hands in his pockets, as if trying to look casual. “Oh, hey, Raven, Apple.”

  “Sorry, I thought Humphrey was alone,” said Apple. “We can come back—”

  “It’s okay,” Raven said. “We can trust Dexter. He’s cool.”

  “I am?” said Dexter. He turned away as if he urgently needed to examine a shelf of mirror discs against the wall, but he clearly was just trying to hide a furious smile. Raven didn’t think much about it.

  “I have another quest for you, Humphrey,” said Apple. “Or a re-quest, anyway. We need to access a restricted place on the Mirror Network. Um, fairy, fairy restricted.”

  “Whoa. You need the locks taken off the network?” said Humphrey. “I couldn’t do that without getting noticed.”

  “What if you made, you know, a kind of rabbit hole in the network?” Apple said.

  “Dig a tunnel, sure,” Dexter said, coming closer. “That would get you through without actually blowing the locks.”

  “Yeah, good idea, Apple!” Humphrey tapped on his MirrorPad and then each of the bigger table mirrors. “Let me just run a test to see if I can do this safely.” He tapped a few images on the left mirror, made some gestures on the right, and then spoke into the microphone in a whispered rhyme.

  “Okay,” Humphrey said. “I’ve doppelganged—”

  “Copied,” Apple whispered to Raven.

  “—the encryption.”

  “The locks,” Apple whispered.

  Humphrey picked up his MirrorPad and gave it a few swipes. “Now I’m doing a test run on my own system doppelganger.” He began making gestures on his MirrorPad and occasionally singing at it.

  Raven gave Apple a questioning look.

  “The oldest, deepest Mirror Network architecture responds better to rhymed voice control than typing or gesturing,” said Apple. “Ancient fairytale stuff. You know, ‘mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all.’ ”

  “Crown’s up, Humph, you’ve got company,” Dexter said.

  The two table mirror screens had turned red, and it looked as if faces were forming out of the red smoky image. Humphrey started to chant as he typed rapid-fire commands on his MirrorPad.

  Check it, D

  you’re locked in a wee

  sea of me

  nowhere to go

  so fade your glow

  and head below

  lest I show

  my sweet street beat

  that I call delete

  The faces faded.

  “Whew! That nearly poached us, but I’m in,” said Humphrey.

  “What was that?” Raven asked.

  “A mirror daemon,” Dexter said. “Sometimes the network locks are there to keep them in, not just to keep us out. But, dude, you killed that.”

  Dexter and Humphrey bumped fists, complete with explosion.

  “I must have inadvertently copied one to my local mirror when I doppelganged the security system,” said Humphrey. “Let me set up a secure path out of the school’s fire-thrall protections from a single terminal, and I’ll shunt control to a mirror in your dorm room. How are your rhyming skills?”

  “Fairest,” said Apple.

  “Er, rarest,” said Raven.

  Dexter laughed. “The key is to be threatening and rhyme fast—like you’re having a rap battle with the daemon. I’m just okay at it, but Humphrey is the king.”

  Humphrey shrugged away the compliment but glanced at Apple as if to make sure she’d heard.

  “Raven, you should totally lay down some tracks in Humphrey’s studio,” said Dexter. “Raven’s voice is amazing.”

  “No, it’s okay,” said Raven.

  “You’re a singer? Girl, that is poison! I’m a music aficionado myself. Here…” Humphrey tapped on his MirrorPhone. Both of the girls’ phones buzzed. “I sent you one of my demo tracks.”

  “Oh,” said Raven. “Thanks?”

  “Not to groove to,” he said, looking shyly down at his foot. “Unless you, I don’t know, want to. But the track I sent is a warding beat. You play it as a loop near the mirror and it’ll discourage the daemons.”

  “That is fairy enchanting,” Apple said. “Raven, did I tell you that Humphrey was a talented songsmith?”

  She hadn’t.

  “I think you mentioned it,” Raven said. “I mean, that thing you did with the daemon just now could be a song.”

  “Nah,” Humphrey said, cheeks coloring. “The good stuff comes from the soul.”

  Raven started to edge back to the door. She had a suspicion this conversation was going to turn awkward.

  “I have another beat I wrote, Apple,” Humphrey said. “It’s kind of about you guys.”

  Uh-oh, Raven thought, here comes the awkward.

  “It’s wicked cool,” said Dexter.

  “I’d love to hear it,” Apple said.

  Humphrey turned his crown backward, picked up his microphone, and started a beat from his mirrors.

  “Is this a sitting-down thing?” Raven whispered to Apple as Humphrey began to rap.

  Yo. Time to light a candle

  for change you can’t handle, y’all.

  Hup!

  Down with the standard

  gotta get with the band or

  try to withstand

  the assault of the cult of

  the soon-to-be queens

  a team of two teens

  you’d never expect

  Except for the beauty

  the two they

  share nothing or do they

  have more in common than

  a blackbird and swan?

  This piper, this pawn

  tries to stand strong

  alongside them

  to guide them

  but like that Piper I’m pied then

  by the twist and the bend of

  plot, path, and trend, so

  later my friend, ’tis time for

  The. End.

  Apple squealed and clapped.

  Raven applauded rapidly. “Thanks so much, Humphrey. You’re a knight in shining eggshell armor. Thanks, Dex. I’m sorry to scat, but we’re fairy pressed for time.”

  “Ain’t no thang,” said Humphrey. “Raven’s standing mirror in your room is programmed with the rabbit hole. Be careful where you browse with it.”

  “See you later, Raven?” asked Dexter.

  “Definitely. Thanks again.” Raven grabbed Apple’s arm and pulled her out the door.

  Raven kept her head down as they hurried through the castle, afraid to see anyone who might slow them down. Maddie had less than twenty-four hours.

  Raven shut the door to their room and touched the knob, murmuring a locking spell and squeezing shut her eyes, tensed for the spell to backfire. Her magic always worked better when she used it for evil, but she was never certain what her magic would deem evil. This time, the spell held. Apparently “breaking rules=bad” outweighed “helping Maddie=good.” The locking spell wouldn’t stop Blondie—nothing could do that—but hopefully the curly-haired porridge lover wouldn’t come around looking for Apple.

  Apple was standing in the center of the room, a good fifteen feet back from Raven’s ebony-framed, full-length mirror.

  “You ready?” Raven asked.

  “As ready as I’m going to be,” Apple said, staying exactly where she was.

&nb
sp; “So as soon as my mirror is connected to mirror prison, remember not to touch it.”

  “What?” Apple started walking backward. “Wait… you mean there’s a chance she could pop out of there and into this room?”

  “In all likelihood, it would take a lot more than just touching the mirror to let her out,” said Raven. “Headmaster Grimm says the spells binding her in mirror prison are the strongest stuff there is. But my mother is such a powerful sorceress we shouldn’t even risk a touch.”

  “Okay,” Apple said, exhaling the word on a trembling breath.

  Raven sat on the floor in front of the mirror and tapped it. Instead of merely reflecting her image, icons popped up, opening a connection to the local network. “I can do this alone, if you want. Or at least try to do it.”

  Apple whimpered quietly but came closer.

  “I’ve only ever contacted my mom from our home mirror,” Raven said, “so I’m not sure how to—”

  Apple swiped through some commands, and a view of a slowly turning green ring appeared. “This is the data carousel that routes mirror traffic. You can spin the carousel until you get to the path you’re looking for.”

  Raven opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “I have no idea how you did that.”

  Apple kept swiping the carousel, tapping paths, searching. Raven noticed that its greenish color was bleeding into scarlet.

  “Apple!” Raven shouted. A monstrous face was forming—deep eyes, wide nostrils, stubby horns. “We forgot to play the… the… Humphrey loop,” Raven said, scrabbling at her handbag for her phone. “The warding beat thing!”

  “Of course,” Apple said, and in two quick moves, she had her phone out and Humphrey’s rhyme was playing.

  No fear drear sphere

  just a trick o’ the mirror

  we’re a mere fleck of dust

  you must adjust

  steer clear

  veer to the rear

  nothing is as it appears

  The face started to fade.

  “Whew,” Apple said. “That was close!”

  Raven nodded and crept back to the mirror. “Wait… it’s turning red again.”

  A gargoyle-like face popped back up, opening a huge, toothy mouth.

  “Ugh!” Apple said, scrambling again for her phone. With a swipe and a tap, Humphrey’s rap was back on. “I forgot to set it on repeat.”

  Slowly the face, and then the color, drained from the mirror view.

  “So can you get us on my castle’s network?” said Raven. “There’s a mirror there that connects to Mom’s prison once a year. If we can find it—”

  “Hexcellent idea,” Apple said, tapping the mirror.

  Raven began to see things that looked familiar.

  There was that MirrorChat node for the village kids that her dad was always trying to get her to use, and the place where you could order fried noodles for delivery.

  “There it is!” Raven shouted. She slid forward and tapped a dark speck in the corner of the mirror. It enlarged to show another carousel ring with what looked like a single green mirror node. “Whenever I tried to access this on days that weren’t approved, this node was dark,” she said, tapping it. The words and digital carousel flickered and faded. “Whoa. It’s connecting already! Humphrey’s hack worked.”

  Skinny silver sparks buzzed across the mirror’s surface. For a moment it was just a mirror, Raven’s own face reflected back. Then the view deepened till it seemed she was looking through a window into a sunny, large room with many mirrors on the walls. Raven put her hand on Apple’s arm, reminding her not to touch the mirror now.

  The Evil Queen walked into view, dark and beautiful. Apple gasped and fell back, scrambling away on her hands.

  “Oh!” said the Evil Queen. She smiled slowly.

  Each time Raven saw her mother’s face, she had the uncomfortable feeling that she was looking into a mirror—but a mirror mirror. They shared the same strong brows, nose, and chin, and the same purple-tinted irises, pale skin. Like her, the queen had purple highlights streaking through her black hair, though usually she also had a little gray. Now the gray hairs were gone. Surely there was no salon in mirror prison where she could dye them, and Raven knew she couldn’t have used sorcery to change their color, because the prison blocked all magic.

  Usually she wore a striped prison jumpsuit, but now she was dressed in a black-and-scarlet gown as if about to go out to dinner. Or to overthrow a kingdom. Not to mention her cell looked a lot larger than Raven remembered and the walls were covered with mirrors. Perhaps the prison rules had relaxed, privileges for good behavior?

  “Raven!” said the queen. “What a pleasant surprise!”

  “Uh, hi, Mother,” Raven said awkwardly. She had hoped to ready herself before actually talking to her mom. Oh well. “It’s good to see you, too.”

  “Of course,” the queen said, gesturing dismissively. “But what a surprise to see you in this way. You’ve broken the locks! But”—she touched the mirror—“you haven’t actually broken them. Clever. A little regrettable, but clever.” She shifted her position and looked at Apple. “And… is that Snow’s daughter back there? Participating in such skullduggery as this? Scales and snails, girl, you’ve surpassed yourself!”

  Apple crossed her arms and put on a brave face, but Raven saw that she was shivering.

  “I suppose I have you to thank, Snowflake,” said the queen. “Years I’ve been imprisoned and my own daughter never bothered to sneak in a little extra time with her beloved mother. Not until she befriended the daughter of my nemesis. Well. At least she knows how to make use of her friends.”

  Raven bowed her head. Facing her mother, she felt six years old again—shy, uncomfortable, anxious that she was doing something wrong. She had to stop that. What she was doing was important, and she needed to be big Raven, Raven who was Maddie’s best friend and In Charge of the Situation. Rebel Raven. She took a deep breath and tried to meet her mother’s intimidating gaze.

  “Well, I suppose it’s too much to assume you’ve come to break me out?” asked the queen.

  “Right… no,” Raven said. “Sorry.”

  The queen looked at her nails. “Pity. Just miss me, then?”

  “No, I mean, yes, but there’s something else.”

  “I’ve told you,” the queen said, sighing. “I don’t know where that wretched stuffed bunny of yours is.”

  “What? No.”

  “Stuffed bunny?” whispered Apple.

  “I don’t know why you held on to that thing for so long,” said the queen. “I think it a blessing the nasty little totem found its way to oblivion.”

  “I found Prince Bun-Bun, Mother,” said Raven. “Last year. At the bottom of the moat.”

  “Great Gorgons, Raven! What were you doing swimming in that filth?”

  “Prince Bun-Bun?” whispered Apple.

  “I was looking for Prince Bun-Bun,” Raven said through clenched teeth. “And I found him.”

  “Well, good for you. Sometimes one has to do dirty and distasteful things to achieve one’s goals,” the queen said, looking at her significantly. “Sorry.”

  Raven was frozen for a moment. Sorry was not a word she was used to hearing from her mother. Was she apologizing about the bunny? Or maybe even for all she’d done—not only to Ever After, but to Raven herself? The neglect, the curtness, the years of evil training? Or was she playing games as always? Raven hated this. Still feeling six, she had a sudden urge to run to her father for a hug.

  Perhaps Apple noticed, because she stepped forward boldly and put a hand on Raven’s shoulder.

  “Ms. Queen, we need your help,” Apple said.

  “Certainly! Just put your hands on the mirror and repeat the words I tell you. I’ll be out in a flash to assist you with whatever troubling little dilemma you find yourselves in!”

  “Mother, please, we can’t do that,” Raven said.

  “Hmph. I had to try. People are always surprising me wit
h the extent of their stupidity, but no surprises here today. Yet.”

  “We need your assistance with a translation, Your Majesty,” Apple said, fists on her hips.

  The Evil Queen snorted and then giggled and then began laughing with such malevolent force and volume that Raven worried the mirror glass would break.

  “I’m sorry,” the queen said, wiping tears from her eyes. “One doesn’t get to laugh much in here, and I found that delightful. Snow White’s daughter needs my help! With a translation! Any other homework I can do for you?”

  There was a knock at the door. Apple and Raven turned to each other in terror.

  “Raven! Apple! Are you ladies okay?” a voice called.

  “Quick,” Raven said. “Put a blanket over the mirror!”

  Apple tossed a blanket as Raven removed the locking spell and opened the door to Professor Momma Bear.

  “Hi,” Raven said, putting on her most relaxed face.

  “I thought I heard something in here,” Momma Bear said. “Something… terrible.”

  “Nope,” Raven said. “Just us girls. We were, uh, telling jokes.”

  Apple approached the door. “What did the zero say to the eight?”

  Momma Bear furrowed her brow. “I’m sorry?”

  “Nice belt!” Apple said.

  Momma Bear and Raven both stared at Apple in silence until Apple gave Raven a significant look.

  “Oh!” said Raven. “Nice belt! Ha!”

  Apple nodded at Raven, coaxing.

  “Ha. Ha!” Raven continued to laugh, building volume. “Mwahahahahahahaha!”

  Apple flinched. Raven had sounded almost exactly like her mother.

  “Um,” Apple said. “Is that what you heard?”

  “I think it was,” Momma Bear said, eyes narrowing. “Be careful, girls.”

  “Okay,” Raven said. “Thank you, Professor Momma Bear.”

  Raven shut the door and leaned against it.