The Unfairest of Them All

  “But—” Apple began.

  Knock knock knock.

  Raven startled, looking at her door.

  “Apple? Apple, are you in there?” came Briar’s voice.

  Raven turned to her mother and held a finger to her lips. The Evil Queen rolled her eyes.

  “You haven’t been answering my hexts. Come on, the party already started.” Briar’s voice turned away as if talking to someone behind her. “Glitter poop, I don’t know where they are.”

  Raven tensed. If Briar was talking to Blondie, then it was all over. One touch and that door would open to Goldilocks’s daughter.

  But then Briar said, “Sorry, Maddie, I don’t know what’s going on. It doesn’t seem like either of them to forget about your farewell party.”

  “I saw them earlier… they didn’t talk to…” Maddie stopped as if choking up. And then Raven heard the sound of Maddie hopping away.

  Raven exhaled and met eyes with Apple. Apple reached over and squeezed Raven’s hand. Raven nodded but still felt gutted.

  “Oh, gag me with a wand,” said the queen. “Enough sentiment, let’s get back to kicking Apple White out. Now, my little puppy, you will go to the Treasury. That’s where the spell must be cast, and things there need to be as close to the order they were in before your unfortunate riot as possible.”

  “You want me to clean the Treasury?” Apple asked.

  “I want you to put it in order. I suspect you have a talent, or at least a tendency, for such things. One is put in mind of a certain untidy house full of chaotic dwarves, after all. The spell works best if the physical circumstances are exactly as they were at the beginning of the event. If they’re drastically different, the spell might not work at all.”

  “Well, I’m not a hundred percent sure how the Treasury was, but I could try—”

  “Then go, tartlet! Leave. Us.”

  Apple left at a brisk pace, her chin lifted regally.

  “Mother, I’ve asked you not to be rude to Apple,” said Raven.

  “Telling lessers what to do isn’t rude. They crave leadership.”

  “Not that it matters, but, technically, Apple is royalty and not your lesser.”

  “Please. Did you see her outfit? What is she, Miss Cheery Twinkle Toes? She should take a page from your book. You look nice. Would it hurt her to wear a little black, for ogre’s sake? All that white and gold and red hurts me. Honestly, just looking at her blazing outfits gives me a sunburn.”

  “Mother…”

  Her mother grinned. “I can’t wait to see your story play out. You are far superior to that little chicken. You’re going to rule that story with her as Snow White.”

  “I’m not—”

  “Oh, that’s right, you’re not going to become the next Evil Queen.” The queen frowned, somehow looking even more beautiful than when she smiled. “I worry about you, Raven. What will you do now?”

  “Save Maddie.”

  “No, I mean after that. For your life.”

  Raven sucked in a breath. There was that raw, empty place inside her, the hole where her undesired destiny used to grow. “I… I don’t know.”

  “My advice: If you ever have the chance to change the world, don’t hesitate. Leave your great big mark. Let no one doubt that Raven Queen marched through this life in her own way, and let nothing stop her from getting what she wanted.”

  Raven had been considering just curling up under a blanket for a few years, but her mother’s words flickered in her, like the buzz of a spell just before it’s cast. What could she do with her life now that it was hers?

  “Um… we should work on the spell,” said Raven.

  “Right. Gather the ingredients. Let me see if you’re a fraction as clever as I hope you are.”

  THERE WERE NO MORE WINDOWS IN THE Treasury, but the great gaping hole in the wall let in dawn’s light. The songbirds began singing, almost as if they didn’t know it was just a few hours till Maddie was magically banished from Ever After forever after.

  And the Treasury was still a disaster. Frankly, despite an entire night of Apple’s best woodland-creature-assisted cleaning, the Treasury resembled Beauty Palace on a rainy day. When Briar’s eight little brothers were all trapped indoors, well, no room was safe.

  Apple wiped her brow, paused sweeping, and said aloud, “I can’t get it done by myself.”

  But the Evil Queen told them they must do it alone. To trust no one. To lean on their strengths alone.

  “Wait… she’s evil,” Apple said to a squirrel, who was sweeping up wall debris with its fluffy tail. “She’s, like, honestly evil-evil. What if she’s wrong—or even just lied?”

  Squeak, said the squirrel.

  During Snow White’s story, her mother had somehow survived sharing a castle with the Greatest Evil the World Has Ever Known and come out of it not only okay but Happily Ever After. What advice would her mother give?

  Apple knew because Snow White had cross-stitched the words on a pillow and propped it up in the informal receiving room: WHEN LIFE IS ALL DARK WOODS AND POISONED APPLES, REMEMBER YOU HAVE FRIENDS. Snow White had stitched messages on other pillows, too, such as: SQUIRRELS WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN, UNLESS THEY’RE HIBERNATING; THERE ARE ALWAYS BIRDS; NATURE LOVES A BROOM; LOVE IS KNOWING A RABBIT NEEDS YOU; HUGS ARE HOW IT’S DONE; DOUBLE HUGS FOR THE GRUMPY; TREES AND DOGS ARE HAPPY, SO START BARKING; and others. Honestly, it was hard to find a sofa in the enormous White Castle that didn’t sport a cross-stitched pillow. But the REMEMBER YOU HAVE FRIENDS one offered the most insight to Apple at the moment.

  Apple ran to Blondie’s room and knocked. Blondie opened the door, rubbing her eyes. She was wearing fluffy bear slippers with a blue nightgown, her hair in curlers. When she saw Apple, she put a hand to her hair.

  “It’s naturally curly, I swear,” Blondie said. “The curlers are just for… for… taming the, uh…”

  “Blondie, I need your help,” said Apple. “You have everyone’s MirrorPhone credentials for your Mirrorcast show, right? Can you send out a private message to all the students who were in the Treasury that day—everyone except Maddie—and ask them to meet me there now?”

  The Evil Queen may have suggested they not ask others for help, but she most definitely had warned that telling Maddie would nullify the spell. Apple wouldn’t risk breaking that rule.

  She hurried back to the Treasury. Bright yellow caution tape that read BEWARE! BEWARE! BEWARE! crisscrossed the door. But the door itself was broken, its lock having been smashed by a swing of the jabberwock’s tail, and Apple easily opened it. Apparently, with the Uni Cairn gone and the wall broken, the headmaster wasn’t as worried about keeping the Treasury locked up tight.

  Within minutes the small crowd gathered, looking through the threshold as if afraid to go in. After all, jabberwockies might be lurking.

  “Dear friends,” said Apple. “Raven and I are trying to save Maddie from banishment, but we need your help. We’re working on an Irrefutable Evidence spell. It will show the faculty what really happened here that evening, and if Maddie didn’t break the unicorn-prison-thingy, then she’ll be free.”

  “What if she did?” Blondie asked.

  “Well… but what if she didn’t?” Apple said.

  The crowd shifted. No one entered the room. Apple cleared her throat.

  “Um, in order for the spell to work, the Treasury needs to be as close as possible to how it was before the riot. So I need your help. To clean it up. And fix it. Please.”

  Everyone looked around: the monster-sized hole in the wall, broken wall stones littering the floor, bashed pedestals, shattered glass display cases, treasures lying around, a giant helmet fallen from its gigantic suit of armor. The floor was swept, but fixing all that was broken seemed insurmountable.

  “Yeah, good luck with all this,” Sparrow said, turning to go.

  “We have to try!” said Apple. “Please, for Maddie, we have to try.”

  Sparrow paused. The crowd shifted but still seemed un
sure. Apple bit her lip, searching for something, anything to do. Her mind clung to the advice her mother had given her.

  Smile, Apple. Smile like you mean it.

  Could her mother have meant more than Apple thought? Maybe this group just needed to believe there was a chance of success. People would work for something once there was a hope it would work out.

  So I have to believe first, Apple thought.

  “We can do this,” Apple said, smiling. “We can do this,” she said, smiling bigger. And the longer she smiled, the more she believed it. “Look at all the talent in this room! Why, there’s almost nothing we can’t do when we work together.”

  Now not only her smile felt confident, but Apple did, too, from the tiara she’d pinned in her hair sometime yesterday down to her white ballet flats with gold thread trim.

  And then Apple thought of Old King Cole, and she laughed. Some of the students looked startled, but Briar smiled and said, “What? What’s funny?”

  “Everything!” said Apple. “I mean, isn’t it? Kind of funny? What were we thinking, storming into the Treasury where things like jabberwocky prisons are kept? Well, we made a mess of things, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun while we fix it!”

  “I’m always up for fun,” said Briar.

  “Briar, you enchanting girl you,” said Apple.

  “Yes, Apple, you fabulous slice of pie?” said Briar.

  “I think we need to rock this thing.”

  Briar put her hand on her hip. “I know you’re not suggesting that I party-up this dismal scene, because you know I’ll do it all the way.”

  “All the way, Briar Beauty,” said Apple. “All the way.”

  They bumped fists.

  “Oh, hey, Melody Piper would be a great help for you, I think,” Apple said.

  Briar got to work. Under her supervision, Ginger contributed some freshly made finger foods, and Melody Piper brought in her turntables and started the music. Briar got some people chanting parts of the songs, and good energy flowed through the room.

  But much of the crowd just shuffled around the Treasury, unsure, perhaps, where and how to start fixing things.

  Make eye contact, Apple’s mother had said, but surely she had been talking about more than good manners. Look back, and look deeper.

  At first glance, Blondie was a talkative, bubbly girl with really great curls. But as Apple looked closer, she noticed earnestness, an eagerness to be involved… and under her arm, her ever-present MirrorPad.

  “Blondie, did you happen to film anything that happened that evening in the Treasury?” Apple asked.

  “I did!” Blondie said, lifting up her MirrorPad. “You know, in case something newsworthy happened I could use in my Mirrorcast. But just at the beginning, before I got distracted by all the crowns.”

  “The beginning is perfect!” said Apple. “You have a valuable record of how the Treasury looked. You will be in charge of returning the misplaced items where they should go.”

  Blondie’s eyes brightened. “Yes! Thank you! I will help make everything just right.”

  “Cerise and Duchess, we’ll need supplies,” said Apple. “You’re so good at Basketball in Grimmnastics, Cerise, I bet you could be quick to gather materials in your basket. And in swan form, Duchess, you’re such a fast flier. Will you two work together getting the builders what they need?”

  Duchess looked at Cerise out of the corner of her eye without deigning to turn toward her. She sniffed as if smelling something foul.

  “We could make it a race,” Cerise said. “You know, just to keep things interesting.”

  Duchess’s lips curled into a smile.

  “I could fix this wall if I had some grout,” Hunter called out.

  Cerise smiled, too. There was a flash of red as Cerise ran and a puff of white as Duchess changed into a swan and took to the air, off to fetch grout for Hunter.

  The wall looked like a big job, even for someone as skilled at making things as Hunter was. Besides, the pairing of Duchess and Cerise was giving Apple an idea. And Briar with Melody, too. Royal working with Rebel…

  “Oh, Lizzie!” Apple called.

  “Off with her head,” Lizzie Hearts said automatically, though she didn’t seem to mean it.

  “Lizzie, I’ve seen you build the most amazing house of cards from your deck. And a bridge, too. It was truly inspiring.”

  Lizzie sniffed and kept looking just over Apple’s head, as if making eye contact were beneath her.

  “What I mean to say is, I think you’re fairy, fairy talented.”

  Lizzie blinked rapidly and peeked at Apple. “Really?”

  Apple nodded, holding that eye contact and smiling confidently. “I really do. I’ve always thought so.”

  Lizzie smiled, too, and for a moment she didn’t look like a haughty, royal queen—she looked like the young girl she was beneath the Heart crown and behind the flamingo scepter. Apple began to suspect that the seemingly aloof daughter of the villainous Queen of Hearts actually had a tender heart.

  “I was wondering,” Apple asked, “can you make more than houses and bridges of cards?”

  Lizzie leaned forward and whispered, “I can make anything.”

  “I suspected as much.” Apple took Lizzie’s arm and walked her to where Hunter was working. “How about a wall?”

  Lizzie pulled a deck of cards from her purse and shuffled them so they flipped through the air, arcing in the shape of a heart.

  “Hunter, you’re royally talented at fixing things,” said Apple. “Can you and Lizzie work together to remake the wall and window again?”

  “It would be my pleasure. A Huntsman is ever ready to save the day.” Hunter put his fists on his hips, striking a pose. Out of nowhere, trumpets played a fanfare. Apple startled. No matter how many times she witnessed the Huntsman-To-the-Rescue Move, those trumpets always caught her off guard.

  “I knew I could count on you!” said Apple. “Oh, Cedar, could you clean up the glass from the broken display cases? I think anyone else might risk getting cut.”

  “Being made of wood has its advantages!” Cedar said.

  “Cupid, you always have good advice. Know of a way to mend broken glass?”

  Cupid fluttered over to Apple, landing between her and Cedar. Apple noticed she wore her quiver of heart-tipped arrows but not her bow. Raven had that, hopefully perfecting the Irrefutable Evidence spell with her mother.

  “My arrows mend broken hearts when I manage to shoot straight, which I rarely do,” said Cupid. “Little-known fact: I can’t hit the broad side of a palace.”

  “That must be awkward, given your destiny.”

  Cupid shrugged, her countenance as rosy as her pink hair. “It’s okay. I’ve found people would rather have good, solid love advice than an arrow shot through their heart anyway. But my arrow tips are handy for mending things besides hearts. If I could get someone to hold the glass bits together for me…”

  Her gaze drifted over to Dexter.

  “Dexter!” said Apple. “I need a prince to come to the rescue of Cedar and Cupid.”

  “Of course!” said Dexter. “I’m happy to help any damsel, or anyone really. I’ll do what I can. Um… where’s Raven, by the way? Just wondering.”

  “Raven will be here soon,” said Apple. “Hey, Kitty, we need to get that helmet back onto the giant suit of armor. If you held on to it and disappeared, reappearing up on the shoulders of the armor, would the helmet go with you?”

  “Maybe…” Kitty Cheshire said. She made a low, purring noise. “But fixing things isn’t really my thing, oh Fairest One of All.”

  “Would you do it for Maddie?”

  Kitty wrinkled her nose like a cat offered a bath. But she nodded. “For Maddie.”

  “Daring, can you help Kitty?” Apple asked.

  “I think I’m better suited to something more dangerous and heroic.” Daring straightened his crown.

  Apple looked at Daring and looked closer. Explaining the why of it
all again wasn’t going to change his mind. Logic did not motivate her future Prince Charming. So Apple tilted her head, batted her eyelashes, and said, “Please?”

  Daring bowed. “Well! Of course, my future queen. Anything for you.” Daring began to examine the helmet. “I shall require a rope to tie the helmet to the suit!”

  “Um…” Apple looked around. “Holly, could you help out?”

  Holly hefted her hundred feet of hair. “Of course! Rule three in our Princessology hextbook says a princess is always helpful. But rule fourteen says a princess must be dignified at all times. Do you think using my hair as a rope is dignified?”

  She gazed hopefully at Apple.

  “Don’t worry, I believe being helpful is dignified,” Apple said.

  Holly breathed out in relief. “Oh good. It’ll take me a few minutes to braid a strand, and then I’ll cut it out.”

  “Oh!” said Apple. “Cutting a lock out of your fablelous hair! Are you sure?”

  “It grows back fast, trust me,” said Holly. “Besides, anything for Maddie. I dreamed about Ever After High for years! I want everything to stay as magical as the first moment I arrived. And it won’t be, not even close, if Maddie isn’t here anymore.”

  “We can’t afford any interruptions if we’re going to get this done on time,” said Apple. “Ashlynn, can you ask some of your wee friends to keep watch and warn us if any faculty member is coming?”

  “Of course!” said Ashlynn. “I know a very nice family of mice living in the wall near here, ooh, and just the sweetest little cricket.…” Ashlynn wandered off with a far-off expression, shouting, “Oh, mousey!”

  “Apple,” said Blondie, “one of the seven-league boots slid under Charon’s boat, and I can’t reach it.”

  “Hmm… we need a tool, or else someone small. Hopper, can you lend a flipper?” Apple asked.

  “I can’t just change at will, you know,” said Hopper, straightening his bow tie.

  Apple studied him a moment—looking deeper, as her mother had advised—and caught him casting a furtive glance at Briar.

  “Oh, Briar!” said Apple. “Could you help us out for a minute?”