Much Ado About Nothing (Shakespeare for Everyone Else)

  Chapter Four

  Lounging on the hood of his car, Bordin blew a fresh stream of smoke into the air. “Things could have been worse,” he said to Jason as he stood next to his car, arms crossed.

  “You were supposed to make it look as though I’ve changed. You’d think I was a villain,” Jason said angrily. “It’s over now. Did you see the way that simple girl clung to Clark? When did this happen? Boys do not turn into men overnight.”

  “I think we made good progress,” Bordin said lazily. “I think you planted a seed of doubt in Clark’s simple mind.”

  “What good is a seed without water and sun to help it grow?”

  “I agree,” Bordin said, “which is why you should listen to me when I say that not all hope is lost.”

  “Oh?” Jason asked. “You think you can do something about Clark’s happiness? I would love to hear it because when I see him smiling and hugging her, I get so pissed off. Please, tell me, do you actually have a plan?”

  “I do,” Bordin said, tossing his cigarette across his parent’s lawn. “Though I will say, it’ll be dishonest.”

  “Wow, there’s a surprise. Tell me your plan.”

  “I’m sure you’re aware that I’m seeing Meagan now—”

  “Along with—”

  “I’m dating Meagan,” Bordin interrupted. “She doesn’t need to know what I’m doing when I’m not with her.”

  “Smart man.”

  “Anyway, Meagan always mentions to me how much she wants to hang out with Heaven…she wants to be in that stupid little circle they’ve created.”

  “Go on with the plan. I’m getting bored.”

  “Meagan has a sort of infatuation with Heaven. I think I can arrange something that will ruin Heaven’s clean image in the eyes of Clark and even Donnie.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes. Remember, Donnie wants to get along with you—”

  “He has an odd way of showing it,” Jason said.

  “He does,” Bordin urged. “What you need to do is pull Donnie aside and tell him he made a huge mistake setting up Clark with Heaven. Lie and say that you wouldn’t bring this up but you know how sensitive Clark is and don’t want to see him get caught up with that kind of girl. Tell him that you’ve changed and want to help him out in any way you can.”

  “This part better be the lie.”

  “Of course,” Bordin chuckled. “Donnie’s only slightly less simple than Clark. He’ll believe you.”

  “What does this have to do with Heaven?”

  “Let’s set her up to look like a whore.”

  “A whore?” Jason repeated. “Clark may be stupid but he’d never believe that. To everyone at that school, Heaven is an angel walking around the earth.” He rolled his eyes. “Really, Bordin, that’s your plan?”

  “It can work if you would give me time to explain.”

  “I have time, stop wasting it.”

  “Talk to Donnie and Clark. Let them know I’ve been underhanded in more ways than one, making moves on the sainted Heaven. Clark will hardly be able to control his jealousy, and even if he doesn’t want to believe it, he’ll find himself keeping a closer eye on her. Tell him that you’re sure that Heaven was being very…experimental at band camp. Hint that there are pictures going around.”

  Jason smiled. “That could work, playing on Clark’s jealousy.”

  “Clark’s a moron. Now Donnie may be harder to convince, so this is where we’ll need proof. A weak relationship may be ruined with words, but to make sure this works, we’ll need to take another step.”

  “Continue.”

  “Meagan, has often asked me to call her Heaven when we’re…um—”

  “Making out? Doing it?” Jason chuckled.

  “Whatever, the point is Meagan likes me to call her Heaven—”

  “That’s sick, man. Even for you,” Jason exclaimed, slamming his friend with his arm. “That’s disgusting.”

  “But convenient,” Bordin said. “Tell them you’ve driven past her house and seen the light on at unusual times, men crawling out from her window and maybe even flashes from a cell phone camera.” He shook his head. “Clark will be so pissed he won’t be able to contain himself. The idea of his perfect girl showing herself off to random strangers? That’s when you step in and offer to help show them the proof. You’ll take them to Heaven’s house when I’m having Meagan over. I’ll take care of the rest.”

  “You’ll have Meagan screaming your name?”

  “What does that matter? You’re going to hear me calling out ‘Heaven! Heaven!’” he said, thrusting his hips forward. “Besides, with a little Photoshop I think I can create something quite believable. The doubt turns into proof. Proof that not even Donnie can deny.”

  “Clark will be pissed,” Jason said. “I’m sure that he’ll do something stupid to embarrass her.”

  “And to top it off, Donnie will look bad for setting up his friend with a filthy girl like that.”

  “I love it,” Jason said. “I love it! Pass me a smoke. Screw my lungs.”

  The two lay back on the hood of Bordin’s car for a while in silence, watching the evening turning to night. As Jason finally stood up to walk home, he looked over his shoulder.

  “We’ll take care of this,” Jason said. “What can I do to repay you?”

  “Some time alone with Heaven for real would suit me perfectly,” Bordin said. “You’ll be surprised how good this will be.”

  “Sick bastard,” Jason laughed as he began his walk home. “I’ll figure something out.”