The Problem with Forever

  “Out,” I replied, my heart racing.

  “Mallory—”

  Opening the door, I stopped in the doorway and faced her. “I need to be there for him. Hector and Jayden are like brothers to him.” Cold air washed over me and rolled into the house. “I need to go.”

  “You can’t—”

  “I need to go.” My hand tightened on the knob as Carl appeared in the background. “I’m going.”

  Then I did.

  I left the house knowing that Carl and Rosa didn’t approve, knowing I was going to be in trouble.

  Knowing that I was letting them down.

  That I already had.

  * * *

  I’d tried Rider again, but the call went straight to his voice mail and the text I sent him didn’t show delivered. I knew that most likely meant his cell was turned off. I tried not to let myself freak over that too much, because I was freaking about Carl and Rosa.

  We never would have had to have this conversation with Marquette.

  God.

  God, that stung bad. It hurt. But it also hurt to know how they viewed Rider and even Hector and Jayden. Never did I think they’d be like that. I was so mad, so disappointed, that my knuckles ached from my grip on the steering wheel.

  I couldn’t think about Carl and Rosa right now. I’d deal with the fallout when I got home, and it would be a huge fallout, because I knew what I was doing was right.

  And it was also wrong.

  The first place I checked was the Lunas’ house. I’d found a spot about two blocks down and jogged up the block, against the brisk wind whipping down the street. I saw Hector’s Escort. People wearing bulky jackets and skull caps sat on the steps of the homes as I hurried past them and walked up to the front door. The autumn-themed wreath on the door had been replaced with evergreen and mistletoe.

  Renewed anger hit me as I remembered what Rider had said about the school administration. That they saw certain addresses and then didn’t even try. I never thought Carl and Rosa would be the same.

  Sirens wailed off in the distance as I knocked on the front door, reminding me of yesterday. A shiver curled down my spine.

  Heavy footsteps were heard inside and I tensed. The door swung open, and a tall, older man was standing there. He took one look at me and frowned. “Who are you?”

  “I’m looking for—”

  Another guy appeared behind him. I recognized him from yesterday. He’d been at that house, but I didn’t know his name. “You’re Rider’s girl.” He shouldered the other man aside. “You lookin’ for him?”

  I nodded. “Is...he here?”

  “Yeah. Upstairs. The attic last I saw him.” He stepped aside, letting me in. I swallowed hard as I looked around. The living room was crowded. I glanced back at the guy. “I’m so sorry about Jayden. I...”

  His eyes glinted as he closed the door. “They ain’t gonna get away with that. Aw, no. No way in hell they gonna get away with taking my blood,” he promised, and I shivered again. The other man shook his head as this guy, who I was guessing was family, pointed to the stairs. “It’s a little crowded up there.”

  I thought that was a little weird, because even though I hadn’t been up in the attic, I was under the impression it was pretty big, but I turned and headed up the stairs, passing a very tall, dark-haired woman who was dabbing a tissue under her cheeks. I didn’t see Mrs. Luna, but all I could think about was what Jayden had said to her before. That she wouldn’t know what to do without him. My chest squeezed.

  On the second floor I walked down the hall, past open doors. I didn’t let myself look in, because I didn’t want to see if any of them was Jayden’s room. I couldn’t see that—see his stuff. I walked past Rider’s bedroom.

  At the end of the hall, I opened the door. The narrow staircase was dimly lit, and there was a stale, earthy scent that reminded me of Jayden. Holding on to the railing, I made my way up and crested the top of the stairs.

  Sunlight fought its way through the dusty attic windows, casting enough light that without the lamps on, I could still see.

  And I saw.

  I saw the mattresses and stacked pillows.

  I saw the card table covered with bottles and cans of soda. And there was Rider’s phone, on that table.

  I saw the TV that wasn’t turned on.

  I saw the couch.

  And my heart stopped and then dropped. Dropped like the stars falling out of the sky. My lips parted on a soft inhale. I’d found Rider. He was asleep, his head resting against the back of the couch. He wasn’t alone.

  My bag slipped down my shoulder and hit the floor with a thud.

  Paige was there, curled up on the couch beside him.

  Chapter 32

  The sound of my bag hitting the floor didn’t wake them. Paige stirred, though. She curled in more, pressing into Rider’s side. Seeing that was like taking a punch to the stomach.

  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

  For what felt like the hundredth time in twenty-four hours, I was absolutely dumbstruck, and my brain had a hard time catching up to what was happening.

  I opened my mouth, but a sinking feeling cut me off as I stared at the two. Then my gaze cut to the table, to where Rider’s phone sat. He hadn’t answered any of my texts or calls. I’d believed it was because he was with Hector, and he was here, at home, but he wasn’t with Hector. The punched-in-the-stomach sensation increased.

  The guy’s words from downstairs came back to me. It’s a little crowded up there. Now I knew what he’d meant. Oh my God. Pain lit up my chest, and it felt so very real. Like my chest had been cracked right open.

  As horrible as it was, I wasn’t thinking about Jayden in that moment. I was thinking about the time Rider and I had spent together before we’d walked outside. How he’d held me. How he’d kissed me. Touched me. What he’d admitted to me.

  And now he was here with her, asleep together?

  I had to get out of there.

  Picking up my bag, I wheeled around. I crept down the stairs, wincing each time the floorboards creaked. I had to get out of there before Rider woke up, because I...I couldn’t deal with that right now.

  Quietly closing the attic door behind me, all I could focus on was getting out of there and then? I didn’t know. I couldn’t go home. Not yet. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I’d made it halfway down the hall when a door opened.

  Hector walked out, scrubbing a hand through his hair. His body jerked when he spotted me. “Hey,” he said, voice thick as he dropped his hand. “I didn’t know you were here.”

  I glanced behind me and then refocused on Hector as I shut down the whirlwind of raw emotion swirling inside me. “I...um, I stopped to check on Rider—and on you. I am so sorry about...about Jayden.”

  “Me, too.” His bloodshot eyes closed briefly. “The messed-up thing? I’m not—I’m not surprised, you know? Even after what happened with our cousin, I’m not surprised. He was making changes. Getting a job with me, but...but it was too late. He got in deep with people you just don’t screw around with. I just thought... I don’t even know what I thought.”

  I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t think there was anything I could say.

  “He...” Hector’s shoulders slumped. “He didn’t deserve that. I don’t care how much money he owed.”

  “No,” I whispered, and I thought about the day in the garage and what Rider had said to Jayden. You’re going to get yourself killed. Oh, God, Rider had been right. “He didn’t.”

  He lifted a hand and scrubbed his fingers through his messy hair. “I don’t...I don’t even believe the police will get them—the ones who got Jayden.”

  “They have to.” My chest squeezed. I refused to believe anything else. “They will.”

  Hector nodded and the act looked like it took a lot of effort. “My abuelita is asleep. She’s... They’ve got her sedated.”

  I still didn’t have the right words, but innately I knew that this was one of the
moments where there were none. Only action mattered in times like these, I realized. It was why I’d come over to comfort Rider. To just be there for him.

  Except he’d obviously already had someone comforting him.

  Stepping forward, I did the only thing I really could. I wrapped my arms around Hector and squeezed. He stiffened at first and then a sigh shuddered out of him. He folded his arms around me.

  “Thank you,” he whispered in a hoarse voice.

  I nodded as I drew back.

  Hector blinked rapidly several times. “So, um...” He cleared his throat. “You see Rider?”

  A twisty motion in my chest threatened to steal my breath. “He’s asleep. I...I didn’t want to wake him.”

  “What? We can wake him. You came all the—”

  “No. It’s okay.” I started to pass him. “I’ll call him later.”

  “But—”

  “It’s no problem.” I forced a smile as I stopped, facing him. “I’m...thinking of you.”

  A trace of a grin appeared on his lips and then he nodded once more before turning toward the attic door. I left then, hurrying out of the house as fast as I could without running.

  Once I was in my car, I pulled out and I...I just started driving. My phone started ringing when I was about three blocks away, but I didn’t look at it. I squeezed the steering wheel tight.

  My phone rang again.

  When it stopped, it dinged a few moments later, signaling a message was left, but I didn’t look.

  I just kept driving.

  * * *

  I didn’t end up driving aimlessly. Thirty minutes later I found myself walking up to Ainsley’s house after I left Hector’s. Luckily, she answered the door...wearing cotton shorts, knee-high socks and an oversize hoodie.

  Somehow she managed to still look cute.

  “Hey, what are you...?” Ainsley trailed off as she eyed me. She snapped forward and grabbed my hand, pulling me inside. The toasty warmth barely eased my chilled skin. Tugging me toward the stairs, she called, “Mom! Mallory’s here. We’re going upstairs.”

  “All right.” There was a pause and the TV was muted from the living room. “Do you two want some hot chocolate?”

  Hot chocolate, she mouthed at me, rolling her eyes. “No, Mom. We’re not ten!”

  Hot cocoa sounded real good about right now.

  “Are you sure?” Her mom’s voice was closer and we were halfway up the stairs. “I have those tiny marshmallows you two like so much.”

  “Oh my God.” And then louder, “Yes, Mom. We’re sure.”

  “Just checking,” her mom replied.

  “Rather have some tequila,” Ainsley muttered at the top of the stairs.

  Her mom appeared at the bottom. “What was that?”

  “Nothing!” Ainsley flashed a quick grin and then dragged me into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. “Jesus Christ, the woman has the hearing of a bat. And I don’t know if bats have good hearing, but I think they do.” She pushed away from the door. “What’s going on? You look like you have the flu or something.”

  “I don’t have the flu.” I dropped my bag on the floor and then walked over to her bed, flopping face-first onto it.

  Ainsley shuffled toward the bed. “Are you sure about that? I hope you are, because I really don’t want to have to Lysol my comforter.”

  I cracked a grin and rolled onto my side. “Yes. I’m sure.”

  She ran the rest of the way and then jumped on the bed, causing me to bounce. “What’s going on? And I know something is going on, because as long as I’ve known you, you haven’t just showed up randomly.” Her eyes widened. “Oh! Wait. Did you and Rider have a fight? Am I going to have to beat him up?”

  My chest squeezed. “No. Not really.”

  “Not really?” She poked my leg when I didn’t respond. “That doesn’t tell me anything.”

  Sitting up, I grabbed a pillow and hugged it close. “I...I was going to call you yesterday, but you’ve got a lot going on.”

  Ainsley arched a brow. “I may or may not go blind, Mallory. That doesn’t mean I have a lot going on.”

  I looked at her doubtfully. She might act like she wasn’t stressing over her diagnosis, but the tightness of her mouth and the way she looked away spelled something totally different.

  “Talk to me,” she demanded.

  Taking a deep breath, I told her everything, starting with what happened to Jayden yesterday, fighting with Carl and Rosa this morning and ending with finding Paige and Rider asleep together on the couch.

  Ainsley’s emotions were all over the place, much like mine. She hadn’t met Jayden, but her eyes welled up with tears. “Oh my God, he’s just... I don’t even know what to say.” She placed her hand against her chest. “How is Hector? Okay. That’s a dumb question. How are you? You saw— Okay, that’s also a dumb question.” Springing forward, she smacked my arm.

  I jerked, pulling back. “What was that for?”

  “You should’ve called me yesterday!” she whisper-yelled. “You went through an extremely traumatic event. You saw someone— God, I can’t even say it. After everything you’ve been through, you see that happen?”

  “Nothing...nothing that I’ve been through compares to what happened to Jayden.” The back of my throat burned. “It’s so... It’s so senseless, you know? I don’t care what he did or didn’t do, it wasn’t worth his life.”

  “No,” she agreed as she wiped under her eyes with the back of her hand. “Do you know if the police have arrested the guy who did it?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know. Hector...thinks they won’t, but they have to. Everyone knew that...these Braden and Jerome guys were after...him.”

  Ainsley shuddered. “It’s so horrible.”

  The burn in my throat didn’t decrease, but the tears building in the backs of my eyes didn’t fall. They never did. No matter. My tear ducts were defective.

  I was defective.

  “Poor Jayden.” She folded her arms around herself. “Poor Hector. God, I can’t even imagine what that’s like. I don’t want to. Do you know when the funeral is? Or is it too soon?”

  “Too soon, I guess,” I said, tucking a stray hair back from my face. “I didn’t ask Hector when I saw him. I’m sure I’ll find out. I’ll let you know.”

  Neither of us spoke for a long moment and then Ainsley sighed. “Okay. Now this whole Rider thing.”

  The pressure in my chest clamped down like vise grips.

  “I don’t even know what to say about that.” She shook her head. “I mean, it could be completely harmless.”

  I raised my brows.

  Ainsley winced. “Hey, let’s look at this logically for a moment. They had their clothes on, right?”

  Oh, God. Immediately an image of Paige and Rider naked formed and I wanted to vomit. “Yes, they had their clothes on.”

  “Now, that doesn’t really mean anything. When Todd and I had sex we didn’t get completely naked and all it could’ve meant was that they put their clothes back on afterward.”

  I thought about what Rider and I had done yesterday while our clothing had remained on. Mostly. Wait. I refocused on what Ainsley was saying. “You think they had sex?”

  “What? No. I mean, that’s like the worst-case scenario. That in his grief and whatever, he hooked up with her.” She stared at me. “Isn’t that where your mind was going with this?”

  “I...” Truth was, I didn’t know what I was thinking. But I didn’t believe they’d have sex after what Rider had told me the day before. My shoulders caved in. “I saw them and I just freaked. I don’t know.” I squeezed the pillow. “I just... I defended him to Rosa and Carl. Left the house to go to him—to be there for him, and he didn’t even need me. He had—” My breath caught. “He had Paige, and he didn’t answer the phone when I called or texted. He was with