Little Spirit

  On the same breath he stood before the toilet exercising gallons of previously savoured beer until he could contain his breath no longer. Exhaling, his lungs instantly demanded refilling. Longing for fresh air Danny considered swinging round to the window and finishing in the sink.

  Alas his diaphragm reflexively pulled down drawing the next breath. Peeing full force he flushed and dashed to the kitchen to rinse hands and ventilate his lungs.

  Sunday 19th June 1983

  Danny woke the next morning clear headed. Hearing his flatmates he dressed and headed off for a brew.

  ‘Morning mate,’ Calvin said sitting in an armchair cross-legged with his bass.

  ‘Morning,’ Danny said clapping palms with him as he passed.

  In the kitchen Amy buttered rounds of toast next to the steaming kettle. She looked comfy in big socks and a T-shirt of his hanging like a dress above her knees.

  ‘I’d forgotten about this T-shirt,’ he said.

  Looking up Amy smiled as he bent in to kiss her cheek. ‘Been looking after it for you. You wanting the kettle?’

  ‘Please. Didn’t hear you come in last night. What happen with Frenchy?’

  ‘For God’s sake Danny, his name’s Raphael.’

  ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘So?’

  ‘So what?’

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘Nothing.’ Amy continued buttering toast adding, ‘He’s behind you.’

  Danny’s eyebrows shot up. Turning he faced the lounge and the French drummer who sat on the settee looking small with his knees pulled into his chest.

  ‘I must’ve walked right passed you. Good to see you.’

  ‘Morning Danny.’

  Impressed he’d remembered his name, Danny went to shake hands. Raphael replied to his gesture offering a limp, clammy palm.

  Bunging his hand back in his jeans pocket Danny said, ‘Good gig last night.’

  ‘Thanks. We played well and ze music sounded tight enough, I suppose. Sorry about staying over by ze way. I got so tired and Amy was … too pretty to leave.’ He smiled at her.

  ‘Our pleasure. So, where are your drums?’

  ‘In ze car. I’d better check.’

  Raphael seemed to fight his way from the settee.

  Danny waited until he’d gone then said, ‘Well done Amy, you seeing him again?’ Before she could answer he gave Calvin a thumbs-up having forgotten the previous night’s criticism of the drummer.

  Biting her lip Amy didn’t look up. ‘It’s not like that Danny. He’s a nice lad.’

  ‘Too nice for you, you mean?’

  ‘Very funny,’ she said not facing him.

  Calvin signalled him to drop it but Danny continued. ‘He’s not too nice.’

  She pointed the buttery knife at him. ‘Don’t dictate to me Danny. If you’re interested just because you want a drummer you’ll have to talk to him. Don’t tell me what to do. I’m not some prostitute.’

  Taken aback Danny made to put his arm around her. She pulled away but apologised.

  He stood, arms still open. ‘I don’t know what I’ve done.’

  ‘I know you don’t you big oaf.’ She let him pull her in and kiss the top of her head.

  Entering the room Raphael stopped in his tracks. Danny let go of her. Raphael smirked and sat down again hugging his knees.

  ‘There you are sweetheart,’ Amy said handing him a mug of tea and toast.

  ‘Thank you Amy, zis is too kind.’

  Finding Raphael less cocky than the previous night, Danny’s confidence grew. ‘Is your car okay?’

  ‘Yes, just as I left it.’

  Fixing himself with tea and toast he asked, ‘Your band?’

  ‘Taboo Tortured.’

  ‘Right. It’s … How’s it working for you?’

  Raphael shifted and sighed, ‘It’s okay – not great.’

  From the other end of the settee Amy gave Danny an encouraging nod.

  ‘Are you looking to take it all the way?’

  ‘I’ll go as far as I can. But Taboo won’t get any further.’

  ‘Ah. Well, there must be loads of promising bands who’d snap you up.’

  ‘Not in Hemel. I should know; I work in ze music shop. Most bands do covers or can’t really play. At least Taboo can.’

  ‘So what’s stopping them getting further?’

  ‘You don’t have to pretend you liked them Danny, they’re motivated by equipment not songs or performance.’

  Twanging a few notes on his Musicman Calvin said, ‘You’ve got good gear too. But, the rapport you built with the audience, well we couldn’t miss that.’

  ‘Thank you. I believe that’s very important. I read a century old book called Ze Crowd. I try to apply its principles to rock audiences.’

  Calvin rubbed his hands together. ‘Sounds like essential reading.’

  ‘Well it’s been translated from French into most languages. Hitler was a fan but Taboo Tortured couldn’t get interested; not when there’s so many synthesiser knobs to play with.’ Raphael struggled finishing his toast then said to Danny, ‘Calvin tells me you’re looking for a drummer yes?’

  ‘Yeah, we’ve got twelve months to make it big which can’t happen unless we find a better more committed drummer than the one we’re trying to forget.’

  ‘I see.’

  ‘I mean, if we can pull it off it’s as much as any drummer could dream isn’t it?’

  ‘Don’t all bands strive for greatness?’

  ‘Appreciated,’ Calvin said. ‘Nevertheless could we interest you?’

  Raphael shrugged. ‘I’m curious. Amy speaks well of you but, being honest, last night you didn’t strike me as guys I’d want to start a band with. Plus I’m sure you’ve further to go than you realise.’

  ‘Okay, we know we didn’t impact last night,’ Calvin said undeterred, ‘but how could we get your interest?’

  ‘Gimmie ze songs, if I love your sound we’ll talk. It’s time I left but I’ll gladly take a demo?’

  Rushing to his room Danny picked though TDK tapes of 10,000 Faces music. But the lost first impression bothered him. Despite his confidence in the songs, his excitement faltered knowing the sub-demo recordings would destroy Raphael’s interest faster than it took him to eject the tape. Danny knew that winning Raphael’s approval meant electrifying him right now.

  He returned to the lounge with tapes in one hand and guitar in the other. Already on his feet Calvin must have thought the same.

  ‘I know you’re looking to get going but how about we quickly play a song or two?’

  ‘Okay great,’ Raphael stammered fidgeting.

  Ignoring this Calvin and Danny looked at each other, intuitively knowing to play their newest song She’s Not Here; with its Katherine inspired lyric and crunchy rock riff.

  Raphael remained on the settee hugging his legs. At the other end Amy’s eager grin spurred them on. Dismissing the notion that Raphael should be auditioning for them, Danny and Calvin understood he had the power to accept or condemn them in their own home.

  Looking at each other and with just the slightest of head nods they hit the first chord in perfect time and tempo. Despite resistance in his un-warmed throat Danny sensed his voice shimmering harmonically with Calvin’s; a sound sure to affect the hearts of their two listeners. As they dipped to the lows and soared to the highs of verse and chorus the boys evoked the magic, ex-drummer Brian Collins could no longer scupper. When they finished Amy clapped and cheered.

  Though delighted with her reaction Danny looked to Raphael. He clapped and congratulated them and Danny knew the song had done the trick.

  Smiling at Amy, Danny bowed and asked Raphael, ‘So, was that your cup of tea?’

  ‘That’d be anyone’s cup of tea,’ he said. Looking thoughtful he requested they play the chorus again. After they did he said, ‘It’s great. You have other songs this good?’

  ‘Loads,’ Calvin said. Raphael bombarded them with questions about the writing process. The
y answered and confessed that neither could sing too strongly.

  ‘But when you harmonise you’re superb,’ Raphael said. ‘Play another one.’

  They played two more songs, each delighting Raphael as much as the one before.

  Danny knew the balance of power had levelled when Raphael asked, ‘Tell me, who would your ideal drummer be?’

  ‘Maybe Stuart Copeland, The Police drummer,’ Calvin said. ‘Someone with character as well as powerful sound and performance.’

  ‘I can do that,’ Raphael said. ‘And, I can sing.’

  ‘You can?’

  ‘Yes. Not lead but an extra voice, when required.’

  The lads looked at one another. ‘Can you show us?’ Danny asked.

  Raphael asked them to play the first song’s chorus. When they did he said, ‘I can hear room for a third voice.’

  ‘Okay, let’s give it a try.’

  On next play through Raphael joined in. His voice blended creating a more pleasing chord.

  ‘Oh my God, you really can sing,’ Amy said.

  * * *

  As the Rover 3500 sped towards Hemel, Raphael considered 10,000 Faces as the antithesis of Taboo Tortured. They made up for their deficient equipment with powerful songs delivered with spirit but without self-righteousness. Their live performance had made up for the muffled percussion-less recordings now spewing from the car’s tape deck.

  Seeing past their initial dorkyness, and that they probably spent more time writing about getting girls than having them, Raphael recognised their extraordinary musical relationship. They didn’t even need to count ze songs in, he thought inspired by their near telepathic bond.

  Flooring the accelerator and beating the lights Raphael mused as to whether a band open-minded enough to let him sing could be the band for him to shine. Checking his pocket his fingers found the paper with their phone number.

  * * *

  Back in Chingford, Calvin kept his emotions in check for fear of Raphael changing like Katherine had. ‘He seemed more ordinary off stage didn’t he?’

  Amy said, ‘He’s only human. Maybe he’s not as cool as you thought.’

  ‘You thought he was cool too Amy, you slept with him,’ Danny said.

  Amy didn’t laugh and after a moment she went to her room to revise. Wound up like a kid with a new toy, Danny failed to notice Amy’s saddened mood.

  ‘Take it easy mate,’ Calvin said of Raphael, ‘he might be as lazy as Brian.’

  ‘Cal, I saw his face. He was way more impressed with the songs than Brian ever was; as proper musicians should be. And as for being lazy you don’t get that good at your instrument without dedicated practice.’

  ‘We don’t know how good he is yet. He might seem perfect but let’s not blow it by being overly keen.’

  ‘He’ll ring back.’

  ‘Maybe but be aware it might turn out he’s not ready to ditch that other band. He could have other commitments we don’t know about. What does he do during the day?’

  ‘Music shop, remember?’

  ‘Oh yeah,’ Calvin said thinking. ‘Hey, maybe he could source you a decent amp.’

  ‘Now who’s overly keen?’

  ‘Okay, you’re right. But be open-minded and in the meantime let’s prepare to be just what he’s looking for.’

  In her room Amy cursed both Danny’s disrespect and herself for having brought Raphael home despite its potentially upbeat outcome.

  The previous night too woozy to stand on her heels the flat seemed the only place to go given the rough café and Raphael’s whinging about his dad’s car. She’d kicked off her heels and plated Raphael’s food, keeping the salad and a few chips for herself. When he refused a beer Amy considered she’d drunk enough for them both anyway.

  They’d sat on the settee but as they finished eating she asked, ‘Don’t you ever drink?’

  ‘Never. To me it tastes worse than ze horrible burger I just ate.’ He offered her chewing gum and took a piece for himself.

  ‘You can’t taste vodka if it’s full of Coke.’

  ‘Some people can. Apparently alcohol tastes different to different people.’

  ‘I’ll be wishing I was like that tomorrow,’ Amy said largely to herself.

  ‘There’s a downside to not drinking.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Typically people who don’t like alcohol have voracious appetites for sugar.’

  As Amy’s eyelids weighed heavier her body became amorous. ‘I can be sweet.’

  ‘And you’re ze perfect dessert.’ Putting his gum on the plate Raphael kissed her.

  Amy recognised the territory; she’d been there too many times before. Though on one hand she didn’t want to take things further she knew she’d have to or else doubt her attractiveness. ‘Better take this to my room – just in case.’

  When she led, he followed but she left him so she could freshen up.

  On the way back from the bathroom she switched the lights and TV off.

  Raphael said, ‘I guess I should freshen too.’

  ‘Okay, but be quick we’re supposed to be going clubbing.’

  She’d waited under the covers of her single bed before wondering whether she’d been right to strip fully. Being French he might have wanted to undress her. Jumping out, she opened her underwear drawer and dressed in matching lingerie before hopping back in. A moment later she worried this might still be wrong and dived into a navy T-shirt she didn’t recognise until, draped in something so vast remembered borrowing it from Danny. She could hear Raphael’s footsteps approaching.

  Amy had the light off and covers over her just as Raphael came through the door.

  The amber streetlights illuminated his shirtless form. Without an ounce of fat he had six-pack and ribs – too skinny in her opinion. Though the door stood ajar she pulled back the covers trusting they’d be dressed and back out through it in no time.

  But Raphael’s caresses came as slowly as the tide; his kisses washing over her body relaxing her and transporting her far from the city.

  When next she opened her eyes daylight filled them. ‘Oh, morning,’ she said as Raphael stroked her face.

  ‘Good morning Amy. We fell asleep. Thank you so much for not kicking me out.’

  * * *

  After Raphael had left with tapes, Danny did an extra shift at the pub. Calvin’s watch showed 18:08 when he crashed home. Calvin figured he must have finished on the dot and run straight back.

  ‘Hi,’ he said slowing down as he passed the phone at the top of the stairs pretending he hadn’t been rushing. ‘Any news?’

  ‘He’s not phoned.’

  ‘Nah, it’s still too soon.’ Danny’s face fell as the lads went next door and slumped into lounge chairs.

  ‘There’s about twenty songs on that tape. It’ll take him at least a night to get through them,’ Calvin said.

  Hearing the door downstairs Danny asked, ‘Is Amy out?’

  ‘Went to revise with friends, Alison and Joanne I guess. That’ll be her now.’

  She must have been halfway up the stairs when the phone rang. Danny heard Amy say to the receiver, ‘Hello?’ Pause, ‘Oh, hello, he might be back.’ Pause, ‘Yeah I’m well thank you.’ Pause, ‘I’m looking after him don’t worry—’

  ‘It’s your mum,’ Calvin said guessing.

  ‘Might be yours.’

  ‘Nah, it’s yours.’

  ‘… I’ll go and see,’ Amy said to the receiver, ‘Danny?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘It’s your mum.’

  ‘Dammit Cal,’ he said getting up.

  After he’d finished he joined Calvin and Amy in the lounge. ‘Hey guys, I told my mum ages ago that I need a new amp and she told my uncle Nick. Anyway, he’s found a really old one. It doesn’t work but apparently if it did it’d be pretty good. He picked it up unbelievably cheap from some guy who didn’t know what he was selling.’

  ‘Cool, what make is it?’ Calvin asked.

  ‘Mum didn??
?t know.’

  ‘You can at least get someone to have a look at it; see if it’s worth fixing.’

  ‘Well Uncle Nick’s bringing it round next week.’

  After joking that a top price Messa Boogie might turn up Calvin suggested they head out for a run.

  ‘Now?’

  ‘It’s alright, Amy can get the phone if he rings.

  ‘Yeah, alright. Gorra keep in shape.’

  Following laps of the nearby Larkwood fields Danny challenged Calvin to a sprint finish. When he agreed Danny took off. Seeing his speeding bulk diminish, Calvin held his breath and rocketed like Daley Thompson. He passed Danny with victorious momentum beating him to the front door by several feet.

  ‘I’ll get you one of these days,’ Danny said opening the front door whilst Calvin bent double gasping for air.

  Upstairs they found Amy on Calvin’s double bed revising for her last exams.

  ‘Anyone phoned?’ Danny asked.

  ‘Not since your mum.’

  With that Danny took first shower. The moment the shower’s monsoon doused him, he sensed the phone ringing. He pummelled a dollop of shampoo through his hair, soaped and rinsed. Despite thorough towelling the humidity produced fresh sweat re-soaking him.

  Finding Calvin on the landing with receiver to his ear Danny motioned. Calvin gave the thumbs-up. Impressed with Calvin’s half of the conversation he listened but minutes later left him and Raphael jabbering.

  Calvin found him cooling in his room playing guitar. ‘So, what’s the crack?’

  ‘You’re ringing him back.’

  ‘I am, why?’

  ‘So we can arrange a rehearsal.’

  ‘Really? Well done Cal.’ Danny put his guitar aside. ‘So he likes the songs?’

  ‘Well, he does—’

  ‘That’s great.’

  ‘It is, but he says even the boring bands he’s played for send properly recorded demos round the record companies.’

  ‘Okay, what’s your point?’

  ‘That we’ll need to get a decent demo. But because 10,000 Faces is still embryonic if we’re to do stuff together he wants an equal part – like a founder member.’

  ‘Fine, if he contributes equally.’

  ‘He believes he would. He’s got heaps of useful equipment and can drive. But apart from that he doesn’t want to join a band as stimulating as he believes we could be just to bang drums to someone else’s songs. He wants to be part of the creating process. He’s got A-level music and can play keyboard.’